Ronin Toad: Redux
by Theodore Hawkwood
Summary: Shortly after Toad was abandoned by Magneto and rescued by G.I. Joe in the events of Red Witch's Ronin Toad the Pit is visited by an agent from the US Secret Service and the ACME Detective Agency.
1. Prologue: The Investigation

Prologue: The Investigation

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _X-men: Evolution, G.I. Joe, Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego _or _NCIS. _The character of Conrad Hart is my own creation. The story Ronin Toad belongs to Red Witch.

Summary: While re-reading some of Red Witch's old fanfics of the Misfit-verse and watching NCIS I did some thinking about what an NCIS mixed into the Misfitverse might look like. My take on Ronin Toad, with an NCIS twist. For sharp eyed fans NCIS this takes place before the episode Yankee White. As far as continuity with Ronin Toad goes, this takes place around Chapter 5, Turning Point, in Red Witch's story.

* * *

**Washington D.C.  
****Agent Caitlin Todd  
****13 February 2002, 0900**

Years of experience with the United States Secret Service had given Agent Caitlin Todd a pretty sharp sense when important things were afoot. It was especially the case when she noticed none other than William Baer, the head of the Presidential Security Detail, and her boss, heading her way.

"Kate," Baer said without any preamble, "we need to talk. See me in the conference room in five minutes."

For five long minutes Kate pursed her lips, entered a couple notes on her PDA, and stared towards the conference room nearby. Finally the appointed hour struck and Kate entered the conference room.

Baer was already sitting at the head of the long table. Two dossiers lay before Baer, along with an assortment of documents. Kate noticed they contained photographs mostly.

"Have a seat." Baer said.

Kate complied, taking the seat to the right of her boss, "What's this about?"

"I'll get right to the point." Baer said, "I assume you're familiar with mutants and mutations?"

"I did attend the last few briefings the President has attended on mutants." Kate replied.

"Then you are aware of the great government interest in mutants." Baer replied, "And of course the rarity of discovering them at all."

Kate mulled the facts over. Mutants were rare, and an unknown to a vast majority of the population.

_Just what are you getting at, Baer? _Kate thought.

Baer noticed the questioning look on Kate's face, it was a brief one before her features reverted to a more neutral expression, but he noticed it nonetheless.

"Two weeks ago, a member of The Brotherhood of Mutants, one Todd Tolansky, was literally and rather violently ejected from the organization by none other than its leader, Magneto." Baer replied, as he slid one of the two dossiers to Kate.

Kate divided her attention between the first dossier, and Baer as the man continued to speak, "He was discovered, shortly after what had to be an execution attempt, in a swamp by members of G.I. Joe..."

Kate interrupted, "The counter terrorist unit led by General Hawk?"

"Exactly." Baer said, with an irritated sigh, "The Joes produce results, but God knows how many times they've nearly come close to causing major national and international incidents."

Baer took a sip of the cup of coffee next to his right hand as he watched Kate studying the dossier.

_My God, he's just a kid. _Kate thought, as she saw the photos. Bruises, cuts, evidence of a savage beating before being thrown from the jet.

_Mutant or not, no kid deserves this. _Kate thought as she closed the dossier.

"Anyway, putting the fact that Hawk occasionally gives people around here the odd fit, the fact that young Mr. Tolansky survived the execution attempt provides a golden opportunity to gather firsthand intelligence about the Brotherhood." Baer replied, "And as a profiler you are a natural for this kind of assignment."

"You want me to debrief the kid?" Kate asked.

"That's part of your job, yes," Baer replied, before continuing, sliding a second dossier to Kate, "You'll be staying at the Pit, G.I. Joe's base, for the foreseeable future and reporting on the Tolansky matter."

Kate took a look at the second dossier, noticing it had a name on the label. The name read Conrad Hart.

"You'll be working closely with an agent from Academy of Combat Mission Enhancement, better known as ACME." Baer replied, "The dossier is a file we have on the agent you'll be working with."

Kate opened the file. There were two photos in there. One was of a photograph of a fellow in his early thirties, wearing a black blazer and a blue collared shirt. There was a second photograph of the same man, dated about eight years earlier. In this one he wore the dress uniform and white kepi of the French Foreign Legion.

Kate made her initial impressions from the man's record. He had been a university student in the United States, spending eight years in the French Foreign Legion before returning to the United States as a member of ACME, a newly recruited agent.

_Probably one used to heavy handed military methods. So he could be helpful in dealing with the military types in G.I. Joe. _Kate thought as she read his record.

It showed numerous overseas tours of duty, to include France's recent shooting war with COBRA on the African continent, mostly around the Democratic Republic of Congo, Chad, and Central African Republic.

"What's Commando Depuis?" Kate asked.

"Part of the French _Groupment Mixte d'Interventione_ or Mixed Intervention Groups." Baer explained, "Small teams of French military personnel working closely with local forces in any of the three nations in question as advisors to help them fight against COBRA. Those teams are named for their commanding officer, and usually consist of eight soldiers and one officer."

_I'm looking at the dossier of a survivor of a unit called Commando Depuis. _Kate thought as she read that entry on the dossier.

"You've got a flight later this afternoon, it should give you and Agent Hart time to get acquainted." Baer said.

* * *

**Dulles International Airport  
****Washington, D.C.  
****Agent Caitlin Todd and Agent Conrad Hart  
****13 February 2002, 1300**

Conrad Hart had noticed the slim bodied brunette heading his direction since she had gotten her coffee from a nearby kiosk. He went back to his book, but not before she noticed him looking her way.

The woman glanced his way, gave a small smile that indicated recognition, and walked towards him.

Conrad had gotten back to his book before he noticed that she had taken the empty seat to his left.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked.

"If it was, the occupant is quite well camouflaged." Conrad quipped, as he closed the hardcover book, his index finger on the page he had been reading through.

"Is that a bit of legionnaire humor?" Kate asked.

"Perhaps." Conrad replied with an enigmatic smile of his own, before saying, "You must be Caitlin. My boss said I'd be working with you."

"I go by Kate normally." Kate replied, "And yes, we are going to be working together on this case."

"I take it you're not in habit of sitting beside men who glance at you." Conrad countered with yet another grin.

Kate fixed him with a smirk of her own, "No, not usually."

"Then I feel honored." Conrad replied as he went back into his book.

Kate took a glance at Conrad's book before taking her own PDA from her pocket and making a couple notes on it.

She noticed the dust jacket of the book and said, "So what do you think of Dr. Grant's second book?"

"So far, so interesting." Conrad replied, "I'm just reading about his encounter with _Spinosaurus Aegyptius._"

"Haven't really had time to read because of work." Kate replied, "But I did read his book about Isla Nublar."

"Did you ever read Dr. Malcolm's books on both islands?" Conrad asked.

"Yes on the first, and no on the second. One book by Dr. Ian Malcolm where he's so high on himself was bad enough. You couldn't pay me to read the second one." Kate replied.

"Get bored enough and you'll read anything." Conrad replied, "I had much the same opinion you did, then I read Malcolm's second book out of sheer boredom before one deployment."

"If I ever get bored enough to want to read another book by Dr. Ian Malcolm it'll be too soon." Kate countered as they queued to board their flight…

* * *

**General Hawk's Office  
****The Pit  
****13 February 2002, 0900**

"It looks like we're going to have company."

General Hawk had called a meeting, which had started with those eight words. Flint, Duke, Scarlett, Beach Head, and Roadblock were all sitting in chairs clustered around Hawk's desk.

"This is related to Toad, isn't it?" Roadblock asked.

"I'm afraid so." Hawk said, "We're due to receive visitors within the next few hours."

Hawk handed out a couple dossiers on the two visitors to each of the attendees of the meeting. "Their names are Caitlin Todd and Conrad Hart from the Secret Service and ACME respectively." Hawk began.

"So we've basically got a presidential bodyguard and a newbie from a law enforcement agency dealing in international crimes heading our way." Beach Head said, "Effectively we've got suits poking around."

"Beach Head," Scarlett said, "One of the two suits, as you indelicately put it, helped us find the intelligence that led to Moreauseau when he was serving in the French Foreign Legion."

"That was then, this is now." Beach Head said, "Who knows what agenda ACME sent him here for. And for that matter, the Secret Service agent, wonder what her agenda might be?"

"Given Magneto is a known international terrorist it's no surprise they'd want to talk to Toad." Flint observed, he had Kate's dossier open, "Given Agent Todd is a profiler by trade, its not a surprise that the Secret Service sent her."

"They can talk to Toad," Roadblock said, "But they're not taking him away from here."

"Roadblock, no one's mentioning taking Toad anywhere." Flint said.

"Yet." Roadblock said, "The kid's still recovering in the ward after that incident with the mirror…"

"How is he doing?" Scarlett asked.

"A little better," Roadblock replied, with a sigh, "It feels like we turned a corner. But when I saw him lying there among all those shards of glass, blood all over his hands and arms...my heart nearly stopped."

"Roadblock," Duke added,"I doubt these two agents have any intentions of taking Todd away from here. Both ACME and the Secret Service are sending their representatives here as observers, nothing more and nothing less."

"Toad isn't the only thing I'm worried about them getting into. There's all sorts of things here on the Pit that we don't want just anyone seeing or knowing about." Beach Head added.

"And that's why I called this meeting." Hawk said, "To go over our plan of what our guests are going to be allowed to see and what they aren't."

Scarlett said, "I'll take care of picking them up from the airport and getting them oriented."

"And where are these two get here, where are they going to stay?" Duke asked.

"There's always a tent in the middle of the desert." Beach Head replied caustically.

"The vacant apartment next door to Roadblock is the place we're quartering them." Flint said, "Keep your friend's close and your enemies closer."

"Good idea." Hawk said.

Scarlett glanced at her watch, "Looks like I've got a flight to catch."

As Scarlett walked out of the room, Hawk said, "Now it's a waiting game, gents."

* * *

To Be Continued…


	2. The Trouble With Tanks

The Trouble with Tanks

Disclaimer: The same as before.

Author's Note: The sharp eyed among you may discover a reference to Red Witch's _Breakfast at the Pit._

* * *

**The Pit  
****Agent Caitlin Todd, Agent Conrad Hart, Scarlett  
****13 February 2002, 1355**

"What are you whistling?" Kate asked Conrad as the the seemingly innocuous gray government sedan driven by Scarlett headed away from the airport.

For the past few minutes she had watched her companion for this mission lightly whistle a tune. It had a slightly martial air to it, but had a an odd levity of pace to it.

The ex-Legionnaire stopped his whistling and said, "Sorry, I was spacing out a bit, what was the question again?"

"What was that tune you were whistling?" Kate asked, as she turned to face Conrad, who was sitting in the car's backseat.

"Oh," Conrad replied, "It's called Le Boudin."

"For the non-French speakers in this car, what does that mean?" Kate asked.

"Le boudin means blood sausage, it's basically a not entirely appetizing piece of French cuisine. I'm not sure why of all the items of food in the world this rather disgusting item of food is one we sang of before lunch and dinner while I was in basic training for the Legion." Conrad replied, "What's humorous to me is the first verse or two regards several nationalities, and food for the Alsatians, Swiss, and Lorrainers but none for the Belgians because evidently they're lazy."

At Kate's quizzical look Conrad added, "I don't think political correctness was on the list of priorities for the Legion when it was formed in 1831. A disclaimer, however, three Belgians I remember serving alongside in the Legion were three solid guys."

Kate countered, "Now who's being politically correct, Mr. Disclaimer."

Conrad was about to reply when the distinct sound of a tank engine and a boom caused him to duck.

Kate ducked as well, eyes wide, "Please tell me that wasn't what I thought it was."

"That depends." Conrad replied, "Did you think it was a tank driving and firing the odd shell or two?"

"Yes." Kate replied.

"Then I'm sorry to disappoint, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, "I'm afraid I must say that it is what you thought it was."

"No, really?" Kate countered as Scarlett pulled the car off the road and slammed on the brakes just as they saw a tank cross the road, crashing through the wall of one of the buildings beside the fence of the motor pool before it crashed through the fence and crossed in front of the car.

The turret of the tank traversed left and right, occasionally the gun orienting up and down. Kate could see what looked like a teenaged boy, with a mop of dirty blonde hair sitting in the turret, wildly waving his arms.

She also, before ducking again as the tank fired another shell, saw a muscular, bald African American man in camouflage fatigues and a Caucasian wearing a mechanic's coveralls running to try and catch up with the tank as it crashed through the fence across the street and right towards an obstacle course.

The tank fired a shell, blowing apart an apparatus of ropes, ladders and cargo nets and telephone poles.

Then it traversed its gun, knocking down a rope climbing obstacle before crashing through a wall and then crushing several tires that were on the far side of the wall before it fired another shot.

After what seemed like an eternity the tank engine sound stopped entirely before Kate, open mouthed with astonishment, yelped, "What the Hell was that!?"

"Looks like someone was joyriding in a tank." Scarlett replied.

"Please tell me I didn't just hear what I thought I just heard..." Kate exclaimed.

"You mean joyriding and tank?" Conrad replied, "I'm afraid that..."

"Yes, I know what I heard," Kate replied, "It's called trying to process shock."

Scarlett chimed in, "Welcome to the Pit."

"Some welcome." Kate commented as she sat back up and saw the tail end of what she and Conrad would both declare Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. One building of the motor pool was utterly destroyed, two fences were knocked down, several crates were on fire or destroyed, as were several obstacles on the obstacle course.

_Baer isn't going to believe __**this. **_Kate thought, as she imagined just what her daily update was going to look and sound like to her superiors in Washington D.C. 

* * *

**The Pit, Mess Hall  
****Roadblock and Toad  
****13 February 2002, 1453**

"Well, that's the last potato." Roadblock said as the last bit of skin on the last potato of the giant mound of potatoes he had to peel had hit the floor.

He stood up from the stool, and said, "Come on, kid, it's time to meet our visitors."

"They're not gonna..." Todd asked briefly.

"No, they're not going to." Roadblock said, "They're just here to ask you a few questions about Magneto and Mystique and the Brotherhood."

"Oh, ok." Todd said as he stood up.

Todd hopped alongside Roadblock as he walked out of the back room where the potatoes were being peeled towards the mess hall where they could see Scarlett with the two agents.

Todd noticed the woman first. She was about 5'7", with her brown hair worn down, hazel eyes, and wearing a brown pantsuit, with a white blouse.

Then he saw the man on the other side of her. He was around the woman's height, about an inch shorter, with black hair that was neatly trimmed. Not quite military short, but close. There was evidence of skin grafting near his left ear.

Scarlett noticed them as well and pointed Roadblock and Toad out to the two agents. As they met up Scarlett said, "Agent Kate Todd and Agent Conrad Hart, I want you to meet Marvin Hinton, aka Roadblock, and Todd Tolansky, or Toad."

After they introduced themselves, Roadblock said, "I hate to be rude, but we've got some schoolwork for the kid."

"It's alright." Kate replied.

"While you're here I'll introduce you to our resident chef, BA LaCarte." Scarlett said as she walked them towards a short bald man with wild hair and a crazy look in his eye.

"BA stands for Bon Appetit." Scarlett explained as she introduced them, "BA, these are Agents Kate Todd and Conrad Hart, they'll be staying with us for a while."

"Oh, the more the merrier." BA said, as he shook Kate's hand and Conrad's hand in turn, "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a recipe to check on."

Scarlett waited till BA was out of earshot before commenting, "It's probably an experimental recipe of his."

"Some cooks do like to experiment." Conrad said, "I don't see how that's an insult."

"In BA's case, some of his recipes tend to literally take a life of their own." Scarlett said.

"You can't possibly mean his recipes grow arms and legs and start walking around, do they?" Kate replied, incredulous.

"Well," Scarlett replied, "There was an incident, a classic case of Breakfast at the Pit, where his TW's Tempting Tasty Breakfast Treat came to life...it was something out of the blob."

"TW? What does that stand for?" Conrad asked, chuckling.

"Does it matter? The thing came to life!" Kate commented.

"Well," Scarlett replied, "Low Light, one of the snipers here, thought that TW stood for Toxic Waste."

"Unbelievable." Kate groaned. _What the hell kind of madhouse did I land in? Recipes that come to life?_

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****13 February 2002, 1935**

After a meeting with General Hawk, an orientation by Scarlett and supper both Kate and Conrad had finally moved up to the two person apartment that was incidentally right next door to where Roadblock and Toad shared an apartment.

Conrad had taken the bedroom that was across the way from the bathroom and that was on the other side of the living room and kitchenette that was the largest room in the apartment.

"So, what do you think?" Conrad asked, after he set down the large duffel bag beside his small backpack.

"I'm wondering if we're at the base of an elite military unit or an insane asylum." Kate replied, "I mean within our first half hour on the base a kid takes a joyride on a tank."

"From a certain perspective it is rather funny." Conrad replied.

"Your humor leaves me cold." Kate countered as she set her own rolling suitcase down in the living room.

"I think it's just the thermostat." Conrad joked.

"Very funny." Kate said, "But back to my original question, how did you find that tank incident to be funny?"

"Well, even if the kid is a mutant who can jump very great heights he's still just a kid." Conrad replied, "And what kid hasn't toyed with or attempted a joyride of a vehicle of some sort?"

"I can sort of see your point." Kate replied, "But I don't quite agree with it."

"Well, tomorrow's another day. And if today set the bar for insanity, how much worse could it possibly get?" Conrad asked.

Kate yawned due a combination of time zone differences and just the long day, covering her mouth with her right hand as she said, "Well, I'm going to turn in early. It's been a long day."

"Bien soir." Conrad said, and headed to his own room. 

* * *

To Be Continued...


	3. Getting To Know BA, Part One

Getting to Know BA, Part One

Disclaimer: Same as before. Many thanks for Coldfusion180 and Red Witch for the writing of the _Know Your Joe_ series of fanfics that inspired this particular chapter.

* * *

**The Pit, Mess Hall  
****Quick Kick, Short Fuse, Todd Tolansky and BA LaCarte  
****14 February 2002, 0500**

_Ugh, five o'clock in the morning. The sun hasn't even come up yet..._Todd thought as he walked into the Mess Hall, as part of his punishment for his joyride on the tank the day before.

As he walked into the kitchen BA was already there, whistling a tune as he began mixing ingredients into a bowl. And nearby was an Asian man, wearing a white headband, a red baldric with shuriken holstered in it, and black pants and a blonde haired fellow wearing a green sweater, pants and brown boots carrying a camera.

"And one...two...three...action." Quick Kick said.

"Whoa, what's going on in here, yo?" Toad asked.

"Oh, you must be BA's new kitchen helper." Short Fuse said.

"What a golden opportunity," Quick Kick grinned, "We get to also interview Roadblock's new charge too."

"Interview? For what?" Toad asked, a little sheepish.

"Why for our ongoing TV series, Know Your Joe…" Quick Kick replied with a grin.

"Uhm, sure…" Toad said, nervously, "What do you want me to do?"

"Well, just be you," Quick Kick said.

"Ok." Toad said, "So this ongoing TV series, how many episodes have you guys produced?"

"This is the first one." Short Fuse said.

"Oh...ok." Toad replied.

"Annnd, take 2, action." Quick Kick said with a right handed karate chop.

"How come I got to do the filming?" Short Fuse asked.

"Easy, you lost at the game of HORSE, fair and square, on the basketball court before we went to film today's episode." Quick Kick replied.

"Oh, yeah." Short Fuse grumbled as he hefted the camera and started recording again.

"So, BA, I hear you've got the newest addition to the Pit, one Todd Tolansky added to the roster of kitchen help as a result of yesterday's tank joy ride." Quick Kick began.

"That's true." Short Fuse replied, "but next time we film live let's flip a coin. It's more fair that way."

"But I get to check the coin to make sure it's not a double sided one." Quick Kick replied.

"I wouldn't do that!" Short Fuse countered.

"Sure." Quick Kick said, "So, the first subject of the _Know Your Joe_ series is not an actual soldier, but a crucial player on our team nonetheless as our local Mess Cook, Mr. BA LaCarte."

"Hello out there." BA said, cheerfully waving at the camera, the mixing bowl and spoon still cradled in his left arm.

"So we know BA stands for Bon Appetit, but what is your real name?"

"Bernice." BA said, "For my uncle…"

"Oh-kay...what was he, a female impersonator?" Quick Kick asked.

"Quick Kick, there's a kid in the room." Short Fuse reminded.

"Oh, right, we have to keep this at a generally PG rating." Quick Kick replied, before asking,

"Anyway, BA, what's on the menu?"

"Oh, I'm trying a new recipe." BA replied, as he said to Todd, "Oh, please pass me that jar over there, put about five teaspoons of it in the mixture."

"Uh," Todd said as he picked up the jar, and saw the label read gunpowder, "This is gunpowder…"

"It adds a kick to the recipe." BA said.

"Or gives people explosive stomach gas…" Short Fuse quipped.

BA started to mix it, as Quick Kick asked, "So what's the recipe called?"

"It's called the Gingerbread Gunpowder Scorpion." BA said, "It's going to be the centerpiece of my Gingerbread pancake spread."

"The Gingerbread Gunpowder Scorpion," Quick Kick said, nervously, "Did you come up with this on your own…"

"Actually the recipe was inspired by something from the latest issue of Wanpire Veekly and…" BA said.

"Wait, whoa! Back up, Wanpire Veekly!?" Short Fuse said, "Isn't that the same magazine where you got the idea for TW's Tempting Tasty Breakfast Treat?"

"Uh…" BA began, "You see...this time I followed the instructions to the letter and…"

BLORP!

The sound of something oozing out of the mixing bowl could be heard just then. The mess in the bowl oozed across the floor and then suddenly formed itself into a large scorpion made of gingerbread about the size of a medium sized dog.

It skittered towards them, raising a menacing looking stinger and two pincers.

"BA, is it supposed to do that!?" Short Fuse asked.

"Uh, well I'm not really sure, I kind of got excited reading the article and…" BA began.

The scorpion coiled its stinger back and then Quick Kick said, "RUUNNNNN!"

Quick Kick, BA, Short Fuse and Todd ran out of the kitchen. Well, Todd hopped as opposed to ran, but in either case the scorpion was in hot pursuit…

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****14 February 2002, 0545**

Kate had woken up with a start, after all the time difference between the Pit and the East Coast had her awake a lot sooner than she normally would be. That meant she was standing near the living room window overlooking the small courtyard behind the Mess Hall in time to see Quick Kick, BA, Short Fuse, and Toad fleeing from what looked like a giant scorpion.

"What the Hell!?" Kate asked, as she walked closer to the window.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! GINGERBREAD SCORPION ON THE LOOSE!" Short Fuse could be heard screaming.

"KILL IT! KILL IT YO!" Toad shouted as he hopped away as the scorpion's sting jabbed at the empty space where his head had been an instant earlier.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS TRYING TO DO!" Quick Kick shouted.

Several shuriken were sticking out of the giant thing, courtesy of Quick Kick.

"DON'T YOU EAT BUGS?" Short Fuse bellowed.

"NOT SCORPIONS! AIIEEEEE!" Toad shouted.

The sound of the door opening behind her made Kate turn in time to see Conrad Hart walk into the room, wearing shorts, a t-shirt with a Foreign Legion insignia on it, and running shoes and socks.

"Did I miss something?" Conrad asked.

"Evidently breakfast is the most hazardous meal of the day here at the Pit." Kate observed as she pointed out the window.

Conrad headed over to witness the chaos below as the sun began to rise and as the sunlight hit the Gingerbread Scorpion it promptly exploded thanks to the gunpowder and other chemicals in the mixture, spraying dough all over the courtyard.

"Unbelievable." Kate groaned as she jumped back from the window as one of the shuriken embedded itself on the window sill.

"Well, at least we verified Scarlett wasn't joking yesterday afternoon." Conrad replied, "About BA's recipes coming to life."

"And to think yesterday you asked, and I quote, 'And if today set the bar for insanity, how much worse could it possibly get?'" Kate pointed out the window where gingerbread dough was splattered all over the place, "I think you got your answer, and its not even six o'clock yet."

"This is true." Conrad replied, and he was about to speak some more when there was a knock at the door.

Conrad walked over to answer it, in time to see Roadblock standing in the doorway.

"Are you guys alright? To the uninitiated a boom like that could give quite a fright." Roadblock asked.

"Was it by accident or did you just rhyme when you spoke?" Kate replied.

"I'm alright," Conrad replied, and grinning added, "Certainly was something to see at first light."

Kate glared at him, "Not funny. But I'm ok, just a little startled at the strange sight."

_Drat. _Kate thought as Conrad fixed her with a grin. _Now they've got __**me **__doing it. _

"I have to admit it's a fascinating way to talk." Conrad replied.

"I just talk that way by habit." Roadblock said, "I'm glad you two are doing alright. See you two at breakfast."

Roadblock turned around and walked back to his own apartment and Conrad closed the door.

"I'm wondering what else BA might have made for breakfast this morning." Kate replied, as she headed for the bathroom, grabbing a towel, "I'm tempted to just get a granola bar out of my bag."

"I'm sure it can't be as bad as that giant gingerbread scorpion we just saw." Conrad replied.

"I'm beginning to wonder if you're intentionally tempting fate with statements like that and questions like you asked last night." Kate replied as she closed the bathroom door.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	4. Getting to Know BA, Part Two

Getting to Know BA, Part Two

Disclaimer: Same as before. Major Timothy Kerry, or Tim, appeared in the pilot episode of NCIS, Yankee White.

Author's note: Warning, inspired also by watching Jurassic Park III.

* * *

**The Pit, The Mess Hall  
Flint, Lady Jaye, Kate, Conrad  
14 February 2002, 0640**

"Looks like our guests are having a lovely literary debate." Flint remarked.

He and Lady Jaye had been assigned to keep an eye on the two agents, to ensure they didn't get into more sensitive areas of the Pit. And they were sitting a table away from where Conrad and Kate set their respective trays of food on.

"That's pretty morbid that you found the fact that the one guy got eaten by the Spinosaurus funny." Kate commented.

"Correction, there, mademoiselle," Conrad replied, "I didn't find the fact that the unfortunate Mr. Nash met his end at the hands, or rather jaws, of the Spinosaurus funny. I found it funny that the satellite phone was consumed along with him."

"Ok, it still entailed the fact that Mr. Nash was eaten by a dinosaur and by extension you're finding his death funny." Kate argued.

"No, first off, if you recall the film adaptation of Dr. Grant's book." Conrad said, holding up said book in his left hand as he spoke, "The rather annoying advertising jingle played and was a sign that the Spinosaurus was hanging around the area. A bit like the crocodile from Peter Pan and eating the clock."

"That story freaked me out as a kid." Kate replied.

"And there was also the fact that they had to do that search for the phone." Conrad chuckled, "Digging through a big pile of dinosaur…"

"Conrad!" Kate admonished, nearly shouting, "We're eating…"

"Ok, then I present my concluding argument as I wasn't laughing at Nash's death, I was laughing about the two incidents afterward involving the satellite phone, the annoying ring tone, and the….aftermath of the Spinosaurus' meal." Conrad replied.

"That is still really morbid that you find that funny." Kate replied.

"_Au Contraire mon amie._" Conrad replied, "There is some form of humor to be found in that incident."

"Yeah, really sick humor." Kate countered.

Meanwhile Flint and Lady Jaye headed over to the table, drawn in by the lively literary debate the two agents were having. It was a perfect way to keep a close eye on them, without quite seeming like doing so.

"Mind if we join you two?" Lady Jaye asked.

"Certainly." Conrad replied.

"Go ahead." Kate replied.

"We couldn't help but notice that you guys were having a rather lively debate about Dr. Alan Grant's account of Isla Sorna." Lady Jaye began.

"So did half the Mess Hall." Flint replied.

Lady Jaye gave her husband a 'be nice' look before asking, "So what did you think of the book?"

"I never read the book," Kate replied, "I did see the film adaptation though. And its those two scenes that Conrad is laughing at."

"So I gathered." Flint said, "As far as morbid goes, I can see your point, Kate."

Kate fixed Conrad with a triumphant grin before Flint added, "I can also see Conrad's point just as well. In its own way the search for the phone and its location is funny in a grotesque and crude sort of way."

Lady Jaye chimed in, "I did read the book, and I found it a decent read, though I don't quite see the humor Conrad found in the whole satellite phone debacle."

The conversation later turned to the food, after Kate had commented, "These gingerbread flavored pancakes are pretty good."

"If BA sticks to more conventional menu items he tends to have a fair amount of success." Flint observed

"Sadly he has a tendency to experiment." Lady Jaye remarked.

"Yeah," Kate replied, "We saw the firsthand result of that this morning, with the giant scorpion made of gingerbread."

It was around then that BA wandered by the table, "Well Thomas Edison did say genius was ninety nine percent perspiration and one percent inspiration."

"Well you certainly had Quick Kick, Short Fuse, and Todd perspiring." Flint quipped.

At this, Conrad began to laugh. Unfortunately he was in mid sip of a cup of coffee and started coughing and choking. Kate promptly whacked him on the back several times to clear his airway.

"Thank you." Conrad replied, slightly red faced, "I must say that was a well delivered joke Flint."

"So why create a giant scorpion made of gingerbread?" Kate asked, "That's my question."

"Did you notice the large empty place, near the serving line?" BA said.

"Yes, we did." Conrad interjected, "I gather it was for the scorpion."

"What possessed you to think that a scorpion would make an appropriate edible display for breakfast?" Kate asked, incredulous.

"Well, scorpions are the trendiest display for breakfasts according to Wanpire Veekly…" BA said as he held up a magazine.

"Wait, what magazine again?" Kate asked.

"Wanpire Veekly." BA said, before Kate promptly snatched it out of BA's hand.

"You mean Vampire Weekly." Kate countered, as she read the label, "With a post office box in Romania?"

"They have great ideas for recipes." BA protested.

"Yeah, and with quite a few other articles such as Practical Impalement, Exciting Exanguinations, Seven Steps to a Better Dungeon, and Gypsy Curses for Beginners." Kate replied.

"Its recipe section has provided quite some inspiring reading." BA replied.

Kate turned to the appropriate page, after reading through the table of contents, "BA, you were right, it is edible. But weren't you supposed to put a special glaze on it to prevent it from forming itself into a scorpion and chasing everyone around?"

"Uh, I think I missed that section of the article." BA replied.

"I'll say." Kate replied and handed BA his magazine. _How you can do that when its labeled in large bold font and in a big red box is beyond me? **And** it has the recipe for said glaze in it, and explicitly states in two languages that the glaze is to be prepared FIRST? Heck, I noticed all those things when I turned to that page._

Once the chef was safely out of earshot, Kate asked, "Where did you dig up this guy?"

"An underwater COBRA base." Flint replied, "It had been abandoned for some time and BA had been abandoned with it."

"I wonder why?" Kate quipped as she stuck her fork into a couple pieces of the gingerbread pancake.

"BA survived because of his own creativity. However it does mean he does indulge in the odd culinary experiment or two." Flint continued.

"He's certainly got the odd part down." Conrad quipped, "My sort of person."

"Don't tell me you had weird mess cooks in the French Foreign Legion." Kate began.

"We didn't, at least none on the same level as BA." Conrad replied, "But then again he'd have been driven stark raving mad by our breakfast menu. A baguette, coffee and cigarettes tended to be how we started our mornings."

"He'd probably invent exploding baguettes." Kate commented.

"Don't give the man any more insane ideas." Flint replied, with a warning tone, "Knowing BA, he probably would create something to that effect."

Kate looked at her watch, "Seven thirty. And a little over four hours to noon. I wonder what else he's going to create?"

"As long as it's not his Seaweed Surprise, I'll be happy." Lady Jaye replied.

"I hate to be rude, but we do have our first interview with Roadblock in half an hour." Conrad reminded, as he glanced at his own watch.

It was around then that Kate's cell phone chimed. Reaching into her purse and taking a look at the display she gave the others a small smile and said, "I have to take this."

* * *

**The Pit, Outside the Mess Hall  
Kate Todd  
14 February 2002, 0733**

Kate stepped outside, heading out to the side of the Mess Hall and opened her phone. She smiled as she said, "Hey Tim."

After a brief hello, she said, "I miss you too, and Happy Valentine's Day."

She listened a little more, letting out a slight girlish giggle, "You are too much sometimes, you know that...Hmmm..."

They had been going out for about six weeks by now, half of the time they had known each other while on this Presidential Detail. It was also expressly against the rules for two people on the same detail to date one another, so they had to keep their entire relationship under wraps. Still, stolen little moments like this couldn't be beat.

Kate smiled at the sweet little nothings Tim was saying on the other end of the line in DC and briefly interjected, "I miss you too, baby."

Kate blushed and her smile widened, "Oh I'd love that. I definitely am looking forward to the delayed Valentine's Day celebration you've got planned..."

_Hmm, what a perfect little moment. Too bad we're miles apart and everything. I am so looking forward to that Delayed Valentine's Day..._Kate thought just before her train of thought was derailed by a shout.

"And Action!" Quick Kick shouted as he, Short Fuse and BA stood outside of the Mess Hall.

Kate cupped her hand over the mouthpiece of her phone to yell, "What the Hell are you guys doing?"

"Filming Part Two of Know Your Joe's episode on BA." Quick Kick replied, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Didn't you cause enough damage, oh say, over an hour ago when you filmed part one?" Kate asked back.

She lifted her phone back up and said, "Sorry, Tim, just our local idiots filming their base television show. Called Know Your Joe..."

_Damn you Roadblock. _Kate thought. _Now I start rhyming when speaking._

Kate hadn't realized, however, that she had hit the speaker phone button when she had angrily clenched the phone to yell at Quick Kick and thus Tim was being treated to an impromptu audio show of the second part of Know Your Joe's episode on BA.

"So BA, what is your favorite recipe?" Quick Kick asked.

"That's easy, it's called BA's Fifteen Alarm Chilli." BA said, proudly, "To be served at noon today."

"Can you two film this somewhere else, please?!" Kate snapped at them, "Somewhere else as in far, far away!"

"We couldn't get a visa there." Quick Kick countered.

"Ok, " a vaguely disembodied voice coming from Kate's cell phone could be heard, "I am officially curious, what do you mean by fifteen alarm chili?"

"Who's this?" Quick Kick asked, and to Kate's chagrin the camera was now pointed straight at her.

_Stupid speaker phone button._ Kate thought.

"Major Tim Kerry, US Marine Corps." The voice said, "So how do you get fifteen alarm chili?"

"Easy," BA replied, "Fifteen warnings issued by fifteen different fire departments across the country."

"That explains it." Tim replied, as Kate's complexion reddened yet again, this time due to embarassment.

"So what are the ingredients?" Quick Kick asked, and Short Fuse pointed the camera towards BA again, causing Kate to sigh with relief.

"Beans, chili peppers, red peppers, fire hot chili peppers, onions, seventeen different kinds of meat..." BA replied.

"Where do you get seventeen kinds of meat?" Quick Kick asked.

"Easy, the freeway provides ample amounts and varieties of meat." BA replied.

Kate visibly gagged as she heard this. _I am **definitely** glad I decided to pack snacks and other things in my bag, because I am skipping lunch for certain._

As she stepped away from the scene, turning off the speaker phone mode of her phone as she did so, she raised the phone back up to her ear, "Happy Valentine's Day, Tim, I'll call again later tonight."

She hung up the phone just in time to hear BA say, "I also add two teaspoons of gunpowder to the Fifteen Alarm Chili to give it just that little extra kick."

* * *

To Be Continued...


	5. First Interview & Whispers of Moreauseau

First Interview and Whispers of Moreauseau

Disclaimer: Same as before.

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building Conference Room  
Kate Todd, Conrad Hart, Roadblock  
14 February 2002, 0756**

"A legion tune?" Kate asked Conrad as the latter was humming a tune as he was making notes in a field notes style notebook.

"Actually no." Conrad replied, "It's a 1942 song from America, _Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition_, about a chaplain on a ship that's under attack and manning a gun turret."

"You are probably one of the most eccentric people I've ever worked with." Kate said to the ex-Legionnaire.

"If I were to ever write a book about my time in the French Foreign Legion that would probably be its title, _Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition_." Conrad replied, "The sentiment more or less describes my last tour of duty in Africa."

Kate was about to ask what he meant by that when Roadblock walked into the small conference room.

The powerfully built heavy machinegunner took a seat in the conference room across the table from Kate and Conrad.

"We're glad you could join us, Roadblock." Conrad said, "Can you tell us about when you first encountered Todd?"

Roadblock nodded, "We were on patrol in the swamp when we heard before we saw him. He was saying something about being in a lot of pain, and then when we got closer we could see he was just a kid, a teenager. He let out a scream, one we all knew just spoke of pure terror."

Roadblock paused to compose himself and then continued, "He tried to get away from us with that fast hopping gait you've seen. But even from a distance of a few feet away we could tell he was wounded, and after a few hops he couldn't go any further and collapsed into the mud. You weren't there when he just whimpered wordlessly, as if he was expecting us to just gun him down right where he lay..."

Roadblock's hands knotted into large fists, "And as I got closer I could see the damage that they did to him."

"Who?" Kate asked.

"The Brotherhood." Roadblock spat, "Some brothers."

The statement hung in the air momentarily as Roadblock slid a manila folder with several photographs inside toward Conrad and Kate.

The photographs were from the medical ward, shortly after Toad had been brought in. Bruises were the least of what they saw. There were distinct lacerations, looking like the poor kid had been flogged.

"For the love of God." Conrad exclaimed. _Such violence towards a kid. _

Kate asked, "So you took him back to the Pit for treatment."

"And we saw definite evidence that he'd been beaten severely. If we had arrived any later, Bree, our nurse, said the kid might've died." Roadblock continued.

Roadblock continued, "After he'd collapsed in the swamp, I picked him up and carried him. It was like cradling an infant...that was about as helpless as the kid was."

Kate looked through the photographs and reports, the ones Conrad wasn't reading. The report Bree had submitted on her chat with Toad had emphasized the point that the Brotherhood had beaten him rather savagely.

_Baer would classify him as a terrorist, and its true, he did work for Magneto. But still he's a kid_. Kate thought to herself. She saw the one photograph of Todd lying on his back, an IV in one arm, the EKG electrodes attached to his chest. Imagining those beeps as the EKG spikes counted the beats of the lad's heart.

She glanced over at Conrad, noticing the ex-Legionnaire's features shifted between anger, horror, and what looked like recognition.

_I am not fit to be judge, jury and executioner in this case_. Conrad thought to himself. Remembering many battles in Africa against various COBRA backed militias. Militias that used kids as soldiers. Recalling one encounter with one he'd killed with a handgrenade during a firefight, an audible gulp from the lump in his throat, for doing what he had to do.

Despite that, or likely because of that, Conrad found such violence against children to be disgusting.

"So after he had been there for a week he regained consciousness." Roadblock continued his tale, "He was just a mess, hardly spoke, didn't eat anything. If you want to define 'broken' you would have to have seen him after he was healing."

"Brothers would not do that sort of thing to one of their own." Conrad added, cold menace in his tone, "Despicable, gutless cowards. I'd line them up and shoot them for it."

"You'd have to get in line." Roadblock replied.

"My brothers might be practically psychotic," Kate agreed, "But I **_know_** they wouldn't do something like this."

Kate held up a photo of Toad's back, with the stripes of lashes across it. She found Conrad's anger to be understandable but still quite unsettling.

"I saw a look in that kid's eyes, like the will to live had nearly been extinguished." Roadblock continued, "And it was only through a miracle I was able to connect with him at all."

"Thank you for your statement." Kate replied as she made some more notes on her PDA, hoping that her businesslike facade was holding.

As Roadblock left the room Kate turned towards Conrad, "What was that all about?"

"What was what all about?" Conrad said.

"What you said about lining up and shooting Toad's abusers?" Kate asked.

"Well I find crimes committed against children to be especially reprehensible." Conrad replied, "Some of the worst to suffer in war are children. Often starving, wretched, separated from their parents. Forced to flee from homes destroyed and if they're lucky they wind up as refugees." Conrad replied.

"What's worse than that?" Kate asked.

"Being impressed into service as child soldiers." Conrad replied, "No soldier wants wasting a kid on his conscience."

After that Conrad stood up, getting ready to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Kate asked.

"Just going to the commissary here on base. I think some cold cuts and the like are needed since I intend to avoid lunch." Conrad replied.

"Especially with BA and his Fifteen Alarm Chili...ughhh..." Kate winced.

"I'll tell you what, let me know what you want and I'll go get your list as well and you can pay me later." Conrad offered.

"Deal." Kate replied, "Do you have a PDA? I can beam you my list."

Conrad held up his notebook and a pen, "My PDA."

Kate couldn't help but give Conrad a wry smile, "Someone's stuck in the last century."

"Well my PDA doesn't run out of battery charge and isn't susceptible to an EMP or anything of that sort." Conrad replied.

Kate sighed and turned on her PDA, showing Conrad her list. And after copying down Kate's list he said, "I shall return presently."

"Thanks." Kate replied.

* * *

**The Pit, the Commissary  
Conrad Hart and Gung Ho  
14 February 2002, 0845**

Conrad Hart had walked through the commissary, the small on base grocery store, buying bread, condiments, various lunch meats and snack foods on both he and Kate's grocery lists. It was then that he passed by a bald Marine, with a mustache.

"_Bonjour_." Conrad said simply, as he greeted the Cajun Marine.

The G.I. Joe Marine nicknamed Gung Ho stopped in his tracks as one of the two 'suits' as Beach Head had called them, who had come to the Pit to find out more about Toad. It took him a moment before he recognized the man, who he had last seen a few years ago back when he was still with the French Foreign Legion.

"_Bonjour_." Gung Ho replied.

"_Ça fait un certain temps que nous nous sommes vus l'autre, mon ami._" Conrad replied. (Translation: It's been some time since we last saw each other, my friend.)

"_C'est vrai_." Gung Ho replied. (Translation: This is true.)

"_Oui, ce était au Commando Depuis en Afrique_." Conrad replied, solemnly. (Translation: Yes. We met at Commando Depuis in Africa.)

"_Mes condoléances pour vos camarades_." Gung Ho replied. (Translation: My condolences for your comrades.)

"_Les morts enterré. Puissent-ils reposer en paix._" Conrad replied, reaching into a pocket and pulling out a medal, a red and white ribbon with a bronze cross, the French Cross for Military Valour. (Translation: The dead lay buried. May they rest peaceably.)

"_Oui. Et peuvent-ils reposer avec honneur que Légionnaires._" Gung Ho replied. (Translation: Yes, and may they rest with honor as Legionnaries.)

"_Merci, mon ami. Je ai reçu une médaille pour survivre. Ils ont reçu leurs médailles pour mourir_." Conrad nodded and spoke softly. (Translation: Thank you, my friend. I was awarded a medal for surviving. They were awarded medals for dying.)

Conrad stuck the medal back into his pocket, and then withdrew his hand in a closed fist. He opened it, revealing eight French military dogtags.

Conrad intoned, "_Il se agissait de huit bonnes Légionnaires. Puis-je concevoir le mémorial comme ingénieur ne les honorent._" (Translation: These were eight good Legionnaires. May the memorial I design as an engineer do them honor.)

"_Honorez-les en action ainsi que dans les mots._" Gung Ho replied. (Translation: Honor them in deed as well as in word.)

"_Toujours_." Conrad replied. (Translation: Always)

The two men parted ways as Conrad made for the checkout counter to pay for his purchases.

Gung Ho remembered the mission that the team would always remember as The Road to Moreauseau. It had been an intelligence coup that the men of Commando Depuis and the company of local militia they had trained had discovered.

It had led to a very dark chapter in G.I. Joe's history. One he and the others on that mission would not soon forget.

* * *

**The Pit, The Mess Hall  
BA, Big Lob, Tunnel Rat, Cross Country, Toad  
14 February 2002, 1105**

"Welcome back to the kitchen." BA said as Toad arrived for round two of still more KP duty over the incident with the tank the day before.

Toad recognized Cross Country, the mechanic from the motorpool, mashing potatoes. Beside him was a tall African American fellow, wearing a red basketball jersey with a yellow 14 on it and green combat fatigue pants and black boots. He was chopping onions.

There was also a short man, washing pots and pans that Toad noticed as BA told him, "Go help Tunnel Rat with the pots and pans."

Toad nodded as he headed over to the sink, washing the pots and pans next to the man. After a few moments Tunnel Rat asked, "So what are you in for?"

"I kind of wrecked a tank." Toad replied, sheepishly.

"Is that all?" Tunnel Rat asked, "I put superglue in Beach Head's shorts. I'm Tunnel Rat."

"Tunnel Rat?" Toad asked.

"My specialty is bomb disposal and clearing out tunnels and the like. I guess the name stuck." Tunnel Rat replied, "As you've no doubt seen everyone's got a codename around here."

Tunnel Rat indicated the fellow chopping onions, "That's my buddy, Big Lob, over there. He accidentally set Beach Head's desk on fire. Hey, come over here and meet the kid we've heard about."

Big Lob wipped a tear from his eye and sniffled, "Aw man, I hate doing onions! They make Big Lob cry!"

"This is the kid we heard about." Tunnel Rat repeated to his friend.

"Nice to meet you." The crying Joe said, "'scuse me while I get a tissue. I haven't cried this much since the NBA playoffs."

"He's sort of sensitive to onions." Tunnel Rat explained.

"Oh, ok." Toad replied.

Meanwhile Cross Country headed over to them, and Toad said, "I'm sorry about trashing the tank and..."

"Don't sweat it, kid." Cross Country said, "It happens. You're not the first soldier to trash a tank in a joyride around here."

"Heck, Shipwreck has that record by a more than considerable margin." Tunnel Rat.

"Who's Shipwreck?" Toad replied.

"Shipwreck is the saltiest sailor to have sailed the Seven Seas. He and trouble go together like peanut butter and jelly." BA said as he walked back into the kitchen, "I'll never forget the time he mooned a bunch of generals that came here to the Pit. That was nuts."

"Speaking of nuts," a female voice echoed from the dining area, "What are they doing in the Jell-O?"

"It's called trying something new." BA shot back, "Sometimes I think it's the most thankless job in the world, cooking for the lot of you. Sometimes I think I was better off with COBRA...no wait, what am I saying, at least no one throws knives at me here."

BA headed back to one of his array of stoves further back in the kitchen, muttering and grumbling a bit more.

"BA used to cook for COBRA, until they left him in an abandoned base at the bottom of the sea." Tunnel Rat explained.

"I wonder why." Big Lob smirked, "I swear the field by the Mess Hall still smells like gingerbread thanks to that giant scorpion thing BA created this morning."

"What's COBRA?" Toad asked.

"A terrorist organization run by a guy that makes Stalin look like Little Lord Fauntelroy." Tunnel Rat explained.

"Worse than Magneto?" Toad asked, eyes wide.

"Ten times worse." BA chimed in, "Never met the man in person myself, but I have known other's in COBRA just like him. That horrible Moreauseau Island was one place I'll never forget."

"What's Moreauseau Island?" Toad asked.

"Nothing kid. Forget I said anything." BA said before he walked back to his cooking.

* * *

**The Pit, The Mess Hall  
Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
14 February 2002, 1135**

"I still can't believe I let you talk me into this." Kate began as they stood in line in the Mess Hall.

"Well, after I made the shopping trip I noticed that BA's Fifteen Alarm Chili was no longer on the menu." Conrad remarked, "And thought it would be a good idea to husband our sandwich supplies for any of his other experiments in the kitchen."

"I still am wondering if that's either prudence or playing the gastronomical equivalent of Russian roulette." Kate countered as they walked by a display of a Jell-O mold with almonds in it.

As she spoke she could hear BA explaining to someone about a mischevious fellow called Shipwreck and an incident where he had mooned several generals that had come here to the Pit to have a word with General Hawk, the commanding general of G.I. Joe.

"Speaking of nuts," Kate called out, "What are they doing in the Jell-O."

"It's called trying something new." BA's counter could be heard as both she and Conrad got their respective lunches and headed for a table. Kate very scrupulously avoided taking any of the Jell-O.

"Well, it seems a rather harmless repast of ravioli, mashed potatoes, and garlic bread was the available food." Conrad replied.

"With BA I don't think anything he cooks is harmless." Kate quipped as they sat down, "And I still can't believe you decided to take some of the Jell-O."

"It can't be that bad." Conrad replied, "Aside from putting nuts in it, how is it possible to screw up Jell-O."

Kate rolled her eyes, "I'll be sure to have the nearest plumber on speed dial tonight."

"Ye of little faith." Conrad quipped.

_With BA's cooking I'm probably going to lose a few pounds or my sanity or God forbid both. _Kate thought.

Earlier in the day Kate had overheard a couple hushed conversations in the Headquarter's building after their talk with Roadblock and she had meant to compare notes with Conrad about it. The conversation had been something about Moreauseau Island.

"Hey Conrad?" Kate asked.

"Hmm." Conrad said, in mid chew of a ravioli.

"I overheard a couple people talking in the HQ building after we did our interview with Roadblock." Kate replied, "I remembered they mentioned a place called Moreauseau Island..."

At this Conrad gulped down the bite of food he'd eaten and promptly dropped his fork. He sat up, a stony look on his face.

"What's going on?" Kate asked.

"May the dead rest peacebly." Conrad replied cryptically.

At Kate's quizzical expression he leaned forward and motioned her to do so as well, "When I was in the Legion my unit uncovered the intelligence that enabled G.I. Joe to find a COBRA laboratory called Moreauseau Island. The veritable charnal house where we uncovered that information was the antechamber of Hell as it stood. I can only imagine what G.I. Joe found when they got onto the island was Hell itself or damned close."

Kate took in Conrad's words as she thought to herself. Moreauseau Island. _I've got to ask Baer if he knows anything more about that when I write my report tonight._

* * *

To Be Continued...


	6. E-mails and Explaining Moreauseau

E-Mails and Explaining Moreauseau

Disclaimer: Same as before.

* * *

Agent Todd,

I will look into the Moreauseau Island request for information you submitted, but I can guarantee that it is going to generate a lot more questions, namely why you need to know about it. Your assignment is to report on the mutant and his time at the Pit.

On these reports of yours, however, I would like some verification. Are you saying that a former COBRA chef at the Pit was able to create 'a gingerbread scorpion the size of a medium sized dog' and that Tolansky drove a tank?

Agent Baer

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****15 February 2002, 0622**

"Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition..." Conrad sang to himself as he turned the bathroom doorknob and pushed the door open only to be greeted by the sight of Kate's naked backside.

Kate spun round as she heard the door open and felt the cooler air from the hallway rush into the hot and humid bathroom. She clutched the small white towel to her chest and yelped, "Conrad!"

"Gah! Sorry about that. I didn't know you were in there." Conrad replied, "Maybe you should've locked the door."

"Maybe you should've knocked." Kate countered.

"Sorry about that, again." Conrad replied as he backpedaled out of the bathroom.

Kate checked the towel again, ensuring it was wrapped snugly around her chest before walking up to Conrad, until she stood nearly nose to nose with the ex-Legionnaire, "Knock. On. The. Door. Next. Time."

"Fair enough." Conrad replied, and beat a hasty retreat before Kate closed the bathroom door.

Alright, that had been an awkward moment. Kate wondered to herself why she hadn't thought to lock the bathroom door. After all she had a roommate, a male one, and it seemed to be the most sensible thing to do.

After she had dried off and gotten dressed and Conrad had done the same she sat on the couch making notes on her PDA.

"Good morning." Conrad said as he stepped out of his room, dressed for the day, "So would you want to break into our food stores or chance the Mess Hall again?"

"Hmm, maybe taking a chance on the Mess Hall." Kate said, "I didn't hear anything explode this morning."

"Well maybe Quick Kick and Short Fuse are done filming." Conrad replied.

"Haha. Or they took my suggestion about filming far far away." Kate countered as she stood up, tucking her PDA away.

"Excuse me?" Conrad said.

"You didn't hear me just say that maybe Quick Kick and Short Fuse decided to film far far away?" Kate asked.

"My hearing comes and goes on my left side, owing to a COBRA grenade exploding next to my head." Conrad replied.

"Oh," Kate replied, and asked gently, "Was just now one of those times?"

Conrad nodded.

"I'm sorry." Kate replied softly.

"You didn't throw the grenade, _mademoiselle._" Conrad replied, "So you've nothing to be sorry about."

As they walked towards the stairs Kate asked, "About Moreauseau Island, what can you tell me about that mission?"

"I wasn't on that mission, remember." Conrad replied.

"I know you're unit found the information that led to G.I. Joe discovering that COBRA lab." Kate replied, "What was it you uncovered?"

Conrad replied, "My team had been working with the local militia, training them to fight the COBRA backed militia that was terrorizing their population. We were one of many French military teams sent to train local defense forces."

Kate saw a faint smile on Conrad's face, "Be it the Democratic Republic of Congo, Chad, or the Central African Republic, the locals preferred advisory teams from the Foreign Legion over any other French military unit."

Kate could hear the slight note of pride in Conrad's voice as he spoke, almost not hearing him say, "My teammates and I had been training the local forces in the Central African Republic to better counter the COBRA backed militias terrorizing the population. Over the course of three months we'd gotten them to go on the offensive, driving COBRA backed militias territory they controlled."

"It was our job to turn one hundred and twelve locals, farmers, fishermen, miners and the lot who had taken up what arms they could to protect their homes and turn them into soldiers." Conrad replied, "And we did so."

After a moment Conrad said, "I'm sorry, I'm rambling, but around three months into our mission a couple Americans turned up. And by that I meant Americans that weren't part of the French Foreign Legion."

"We executed a raid on an abandoned mining camp." Conrad continued, "The sights I saw there will haunt me till I breathe my last, whenever God wills that to be. It had been used as a prison, like our intelligence indicated and the prisoners were being used for laborers, at least the strong ones were."

"What happened to the others?" Kate asked, inwardly dreading Conrad's answer.

"The worst was finding the infirmary, what had been converted into an impromptu laboratory." Conrad said, "It was an abattoir with pretensions of being a laboratory. The prize, if you could call it that, was the hard drive of a computer the COBRA types hadn't had the opportunity to destroy. It led to Moreauseau's discovery. That's all I can tell you."

* * *

**The Pit, Mess Hall  
****BA, Big Lob, Tunnel Rat, Cross Country, Toad  
****15 February 2002, 0630**

CRASH! The dish fell out of Todd's hand and onto the floor of the kitchen, shattering into fragments.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" Todd began.

"It's ok. These things happen." BA said, "I've had my share of these things break on KP...that's why I always buy them in bulk."

"Because people break them?" Todd asked.

"That and one of my hobbies." BA said, "Juggling dishes…"

BA started to juggle a teacup as he spoke and then said, "Toss me another one."

"You're in for a treat, kiddo, BA is pretty good." Big Lob said, and lobbed a second teacup to BA who caught it and began juggling it as well.

"Come on guys, is that all you got?" BA said.

Tunnel Rat lobbed two teacups to BA who caught them both and in fact had the four teacups in a rotation of juggling.

"Go ahead, kid," Cross Country laughed as he tossed BA another teacup, "Throw him something."

BA now had five teacups rotating through the air with his rapid juggling. Todd tossed a sixth cup and now BA was juggling half a dozen cups, "A new record..."

* * *

**The Pit, Mess Hall  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****15 February 2002, 0633**

"Alright, so this evening we're talking to Todd." Conrad said, "And I gather you're wanting to spend today trying to find out what you can about Moreauseau Island? For the record, you're obsessed."

"It's my job to know of any threats to the President. And if whatever kind of Frankenstein's monster was created on Moreauseau somehow got loose then I want to know about it." Kate replied.

"Somehow I doubt that. If the test subjects on Moreauseau were anywhere as bad as the ones I found in Hell's Antechamber I doubt the Moreauseau lot were any threat." Conrad countered.

"I can't take that chance, Conrad." Kate replied, "I am responsible for the safety of the President of the United States, I have to do my due diligence to uncover any threat."

Conrad was about to reply when both of them heard a crash of china shattering from the kitchen. "Well, perhaps you were a tad hasty in figuring that nothing bizarre was going on with breakfast."

"Dishes breaking don't exactly indicate a kitchen disaster." Kate replied.

"Breakfast at the Pit, as yesterday proved, is an interesting affair." Conrad observed.

"Well nothing has exploded or caught fire yet." Kate replied.

"Key word being yet." Conrad countered.

"Now who's being paranoid?" Kate said, with a small smile, "Yesterday you were convincing _me _to eat lunch here."

"Well, a bit of gut instinct is telling me _something _is in the offing today." Conrad replied as they carried their respective trays to the nearest table, where some other G.I. Joe soldiers were eating.

"Pretty interesting that Roadblock wants to have our interview with Toad over dinner at their place." Kate observed.

"Well, it's rather similar to a 'defender's advantage' when it comes to military tactics." Conrad supplied.

"I figured that out." Kate replied.

"Speak of the devil, and he shall appear." Conrad commented as he gestured with a sideways glance.

Moving amongst the tables was Todd, whom BA had sent to go bus tables.

"Some devil." Kate replied, with a smile.

"Meant that figuratively of course." Conrad countered as he took another sip of coffee from the cup.

Toad was carrying empty breakfast trays and the like to be washed as various Joes finished their meals. Things were going smoothly until he collided with a soldier, spilling food all over him. The man wore a green balaclava, green sweater, camouflage pants and black boots. Kate and Conrad knew the man was codenamed Beach Head, and knew of his reputation for being a stickler and the most ornery individual at the Pit.

"Why you little…." Beach Head began.

"I'm sorry…" Toad stammered.

"Not as sorry as when I get through with you! You stupid little freak!" Beach Head said, raising his fists menacingly.

At this Todd bolted out the front door of the Mess Hall, before reverting to hopping mode. He didn't see Beach Head being restrained by several Joes as well as by Conrad and Kate.

Suddenly a hand whipped out from around a corner, dragging him into a darkened room, a hand clamped over Todd's mouth.

"Quiet!" the figure commanded, "Stay still!"

Todd nodded and the dark figure let go of him, stepping outside of the room and then closing the door behind him.

Todd listened as the man said, "He went that way Beach Head…"

The sound of the heavy footsteps of Beach Head faded off into the distance and the door opened. Todd saw his rescuer for the first time, he was a blonde haired man, wearing dark clothes and red goggles, reminiscent of Cyclops.

"Better lie low somewhere until Roadblock comes to get you." the man said.

"Thanks…" Todd said.

"Let's get you out of here." the man replied.

Toad, wordlessly, compiled, following the man outside, where they walked a ways before finding themselves at a basketball court. To his surprise he could see Tunnel Rat and Big Lob and a few other Joes out there.

"Found him, I see." Tunnel Rat said, "Thanks for covering, Low Light."

"No problem." Low Light said, before turning to address Toad, "Now you stay here until Roadblock arrives."

Todd nodded and Low Light walked away.

"How did you guys manage to get away so fast?" Todd asked.

"We have our methods of cutting down on KP duty," Big Lob said, spinning a basketball on his finger, "Wanna play?"

"I dunno I've never played before." Todd began, and then said, brightening, "Ok...I'll play."

After getting the ball and past some difficulty dribbling, he got the hang of it. After receiving the ball again he jumped up high and made a slam dunk...from the middle of the court.

Amazement covered the faces of the bystanders.

"Oh my Lord." Tunnel Rat remarked.

"Michael Jordan got some serious competition." Big Lob added.

"I did it!" Toad crowed, dancing about, and leaping skyward occasionally as he did so, "I did it! I...uh oh…"

He saw Roadblock heading his way as he spoke, and then he hopped towards him, "Roadblock, I didn't mean to leave the cafeteria! I was good! I was! It's just that…"

"I know, it was just an accident." Roadblock replied, "I had a talk with Beach Head, who was clearly out of line. He won't be bothering you anymore."

With a nod, Todd acknowledged Roadblock's words, as the latter spoke proudly, "You know, BA said you were a good worker. One of the best he's had in a long time."

"He did?" Todd said, with disbelief.

"Uh huh. Now go back to your game." Roadblock said.

"I can?" Todd replied, eyes lighting up, "Thanks."

"Go on." Roadblock said, gently. And then watching Todd hopping back to his game. After a while it was fairly obvious that Todd's team won, given all the baskets the young mutant had made.

"Aw man, he's on our team next time." Big Lob grumbled.

After a bit more banter, it was finally time for Todd to head over for his science class, then working KP for the noon meal, and then helping Roadblock get dinner started for the company they were going to have that evening…

* * *

Agent Todd,

I made a few inquiries regarding Moreauseau Island. Those files are sealed, and it was deemed that you do not need to know about what happened there for your mission. So cease and desist any more inquiries into Moreauseau Island. Understood?

Agent Baer

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarter's  
****Roadblock and Toad  
****15 February 2002, 1633**

As Roadblock was mixing ingredients for a recipe Todd was working on some science homework from Airtight.

"Roadblock," Todd asked as he took a short break from the assignment, "What's Moreauseau?"

Roadblock nearly dropped the ladle he had been using to stir some sauce, "Where did you hear that?"

"Some of the guys mentioned the name when I was on KP duty yesterday…But they wouldn't talk about it." Toad replied.

"With good reason." Roadblock said, "It was a bad place...I honestly couldn't imagine Hell being that much worse."

"Wh-what is it?" Todd asked, putting his pencil down, his homework forgotten.

With a sigh, Roadblock walked over to Todd, putting a large hand on the boy's shoulder, "You might as well know the truth. A few years ago, the Joes were sent on a mission, the majority of us and what we found…"

Roadblock paused for a moment, composing himself, "There was a lab there. Nearly one hundred test subjects. Many of them had been mangled, mutilated…"

"They were mutants?" Todd asked, in horror.

"If they weren't before, they became mutants as a result of COBRA's experiments." Roadblock replied.

"What happened to them?" Todd asked.

"Most of them didn't survive, and those that did...they didn't live that much longer. From that day many of us swore that we wouldn't allow that kid of evil to happen again, ever." Roadblock said.

Todd gulped, "So that's why you saved me."

Roadblock nodded before saying, "Well, you'd better get back to your homework and I'll finish getting dinner ready. Our guests should be here soon."

"Ok." Todd replied.

Roadblock continued to do some more work in the kitchen and before long he was done. Todd put away his homework and started to put out the dishes, silverware, and the like. He had just put down the placemat in the center of the table for Roadblock to put the main dish down when the sound of a knock on the door could be heard.

Todd hopped over to the door and opened the door to find Conrad and Kate standing at the door. "Hi," Todd said, "Come in...Roadblock's in the kitchen."

"Actually you two are just in time." Roadblock said, "Dinner's ready."

"Oh, what's on the menu?" Conrad asked.

"Roadblock's Rissotto." Roadblock replied.

At Kate's uneasy expression Roadblock added, "Don't worry, everyone says that they'd be happier if I had BA's job."

_Well, anyone would be an improvement over BA. _Kate thought to herself, but not wanting to insult their host.

Todd piped in just then, preventing a potentially awkward silence, "Roadblock's a gourmet chef as well."

Kate added, "Dinner smells good."

The four of them were sitting at the table, and the meal went swimmingly well, even with Toad using his frog-like tongue to grab at a pitcher of water, prompting a slight glare from Roadblock.

"Sorry." Toad said.

"It's ok, I've seen worse eaters when I was in the Legion." Conrad replied.

"Legionnaires have twelve foot long tongues?" Kate asked.

"No, but I've seen folks that don't have the cleanest eating habits." Conrad countered.

It was shortly after eating that Conrad began, "I suppose Roadblock told you why we're here."

"He did." Toad replied.

"Can you tell us about what happened?" Kate replied.

"We had lost yet another battle with the X-Geeks…" Todd began, "I-I mean the X-men. And Mystique just lost it...She just kept hitting me and hitting me. I've had beatings before, but this was a lot worse."

The kid closed his eyes, seeming on the verge of tears, Roadblock instinctively slid his chair beside Todd, taking the boy's hand.

"Todd," Roadblock said, gently, "You don't have to tell them any more if you don't…"

"No," Todd said, "No, I want to tell them…"

"I'll stay right here with you, son." Roadblock said.

Todd nodded and continued the story, "All I could do was just cringe and plea, but the blows just kept coming. Mystique just kept hitting me."

Kate glanced over at Conrad, whose face took on a stony expression. She could only imagine what he was thinking.

_I'll put a knife in this Mystique's gut if I ever encounter her. No child should ever endure this kind of abuse. _Conrad thought.

"And then Magneto put a stop to it." Todd replied, "We were flying in a jet, I didn't know where we were, and then Mystique kicked me in the stomach again. And then…"

Todd let out a choked sob, "A-and then...he threw me out of the jet…"

The boy's tears caused both Kate and Conrad to mutually conclude to stop the interview.

"I'm sorry about all this." Conrad apologized, as Roadblock held the sobbing boy in his arms.

"It's alright." Roadblock said, "You're just doing your jobs."

"We'll see ourselves out." Kate replied.

Conrad and Kate walked out of the apartment and back towards the apartment they were sharing.

"You seem to be taking this pretty hard." Kate observed.

"And you aren't?" Conrad replied.

"That was horrible what Mystique did to the kid, but still you looked like you would personally kill her if you encountered her." Kate replied.

"Honestly, I'd put a knife into her stomach if we were to cross paths." Conrad replied.

"And why are you taking this so hard?" Kate asked as Conrad opened the door to their temporary lodging, with a slight 'after you' gesture with his free hand.

"As I've said, children suffer the worst in any war." Conrad replied, "I saw enough suffering with children I saw in my tours of duty with the Legion."

* * *

To Be Continued…


	7. Night Terrors

Terrors of Night

Disclaimer: Same as before.

Author's Note: Many thanks to Red Witch for creating the Ronin Toad series of fanfiction that inspired myself and other authors on . May her muse remain ever blessed.

Somnia is the Roman god of dreams, called Morpheus by the Greeks.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Todd Tolanksy  
****16 February 2002, 0032**

Sleep for Todd Tolansky would be anything but peaceful. Memories coming in the night. Of beatings of the past. It didn't matter who was inflicting them. It could be his father, bullies and jocks that tormented him through school, Magneto, Mystique.

The physical blows, or rather memories of them came in waves. Staccato sequences of memories of abuses both long past and relatively recent.

The words were even more cruel than the beatings. A long list of tirades.

"_You were the one who wanted the worthless rugrat! I didn't." The long dead and unmourned Mr. Tolansky said._

_Todd's mother held the sniffling and sobbing boy protectively to her. "He needs medicine, that's more important than your booze."_

_A backhanded slap to the woman's face was the only response._

_"Damn it, Steve!" the woman said, "We might not get along, but the least we can do is provide a better life for Todd."_

_"Like I said, you wanted the rugrat! Not me!"_

_"Steve! That's it! I...If you don't start taking care of our son...helping me take care of our son...I'll leave."_

_"Oh, so go ahead! You and the little brat..." Mr. Tolansky said, as a prelude to yet another beating that Todd's mother was to endure._

_The cruel words of his long dead and abusive father faded away, only to be replaced with events of a far more recent vintage in Todd's mind._

_"Useless...utterly useless. Mystique, what were you thinking allowing this...weakling into the Brotherhood?" Magneto's words had stopped the last of Todd's beatings._

_"He was all I could find at the time." Mystique replied, "Before the others, remember. It's not my fault the idiot can't do the simplest tasks."_

_"In the future, Mystique," Magento warned, menacingly, "You will find me more useful mutants."_

_Mystique's response was punctuated with a snarl and a savage kick to Todd's midsection, "That won't be too hard. Hard to imagine any mutant as useless as this one."_

_The kick had resulted in Todd spitting a mixture of blood and slime involuntarily onto the floor of the jet._

_"I'm sorry..." Todd begged, tears in his eyes._

_Lying on his side on the floor of the jet, seeing the other three boys of the Brotherhood. Regarding them with tearful eyes. Looking from Lance, to Pietro, to Fred._

_Lance looked away in contempt. "Wimp," he said simply._

_Pietro's face bore a stony expression._

_Fred looked scared. An expression Todd had never seen in the big mutant._

_"Weak." Magneto said, "The weak are useless. Therefore..."_

_Todd could feel the rushing of air as a hatch on the jet was opened by Mystique. And Magneto picked Todd up by the scruff of the neck._

_"No! No! Please! Really! You'll see! Please!" Todd begged as Magneto dragged him to the hatch of the jet._

_"What I see is a worthless cretin who had better not show his ugly face around Bayville if he know's what's good for him!" Mystique sneered, "That is provided you manage to survive."_

_"No! Please! Don't leave me alone out there!" Todd begged, trying to plant his feet, but Magneto's pull was a lot stronger._

_"Guys, help me!" Todd begged, looking from Lance, to Pietro, to Fred. None of the three boys had said a word. Whether it was through actual disgust at his poor performance or fear of Magneto or Mystique Todd didn't know._

_"Please! I'll die out there! Please!" Todd begged as Magneto neared the hatch._

_"Perhaps it is better for Mutantkind if you do." Magneto replied, before throwing the helpless teen from the aircraft..._

Todd awoke, screaming a scream of fear and pain that woke not only Roadblock but their neighbors in the other apartment.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
Conrad Hart  
16 February 2002, 0030**

Kate's last words to him before they got into the apartment echoed in Conrad's mind, "And why are you taking this so hard?"

As he allowed sleep to claim him earlier he found himself being the host of one of Somnia's visits...

_The patrol, a mixed formation of three Legionnaires and fifteen of the militia that Commando Depuis had been training, approached the small farmstead on the outskirts of the war ravaged village._

_As they had come to a brief halt Conrad took a sip from his water bottle before going to speak with one of the four medical missionaries that had created this mission a few months earlier to help the children affected by the war._

_As the patrol leader it was his job to get information from the missionaries, any information, that would keep the COBRA backed faction out of the area. He stepped inside the small house, into one of the larger rooms that formed a sort of clinic to talk to one of the missionaries._

_As a gesture of respect Conrad removed his helmet, tucking it under his arm as he entered the room, finding a woman in her early forties, with dark brown hair bundled up in a messy bun behind her head. She wore a stained white labcoat and had a stethoscope worn on her neck._

_She was taking the temperature of a boy, maybe seven or eight years old, reclining on a small hospital bed. Even with the blanket Conrad noticed the ragged stump below the knee where the boy's left leg should've been._

_"What happened?" Conrad asked._

_The woman looked up at him, and in the woman's grey-blue eyes he saw a bit of surprise as she registered his distinctly American accented English before replying, "You're American?"_

_"Yes. My name is Conrad Hart, and I'm with the French Foreign Legion." Conrad replied, "That explains the French military uniform."_

_The woman replied, "Doctor Julia Keller."_

_Conrad wiped his right hand on the sleeve of his uniform before shaking hands with the woman. He noticed a fairly neutral tone to her accent, but if he had to guess she was from anywhere in the country he would have figured somewhere in New England_.

"_Dr. Keller, what happened to the kid?" Conrad asked again._

_"He stepped on a landmine." Keller replied, sadly, "There are so many of them around here."_

_Conrad's trained eye told him that the boy had likely stepped on a PMN-3 anti-personnel mine. The small, disc-shaped mine was a quite popular anti-personnel mine of Soviet origin, one that was designed to amuptate the foot or leg of the unfortunate soldier who stepped on it. This would force his comrades to have to expend resources and time to get him to safety._

_Before Conrad could reply Dr. Keller continued, "His older brother wasn't so lucky. They were playing in a clearing near here and he stepped on another mine. The villagers said he was practically torn in half."_

_Conrad's mind registered that the lad had to have triggered an OZM type mine. The OZM was designed to fly a half meter into the air before exploding into hundreds of razor edged fragments._

_"I'm sorry." Conrad said, before taking a map from one of the cargo pockets on his pants, along with a pencil._

_Motioning the doctor towards a near empty table nearby he asked, "Do you think you can point it out here on the map?"_

_"Sure." Keller replied, as the two of them looked over the map, and she indicated the field on the map._

_Conrad promptly marked it with his pencil, "I'll see if I can't do some demining here."_

_True to his word, Conrad and members of Commando Depuis returned a fortnight later with a squad of combat engineers from a nearby French Army unit that removed 33 mines of various kinds from the field._

_From that moment on the small international medical mission had built a rapid rapport with the men of Commando Depuis. This did not go unnoticed, nor unpunished, by the COBRA backed faction._

_Conrad's patrol had returned a few weeks later to find everyone at the mission dead, and even more ghastly acts having been done._

_"Bastards. I'll kill them." Conrad grumbled._

_"Not one of us doesn't feel the same way, Hart." Sergent Ian Laposte, an Englishman with eleven years of service in the French Foreign Legion, replied._

_"These people were doctors and nurses. They did nothing but provide medical treatment to anyone who would ask. Even some of the COBRA wounded that came through here." Conrad replied_.

_As he spoke he covered Dr. Keller's body with a tarp, after closing her open eyes. Crossing himself with his free hand he whispered, "We will make them pay for this, Doctor..."_

_Laposte added, "You can guarantee that."_

_Conrad looked over his shoulder to see Ian covering the dead body of the boy who had run afoul of the landmine some weeks earlier. He didn't have to guess that Ian was thinking of his own estranged children back in the United Kingdom_.

* * *

_"The devil take order now! I'll to the throng! Let life be short else shame will be too long!" - **from William Shakespeare's Henry V**_**.**

* * *

_Thanks to aggressive efforts and intelligence gathering Commando Depuis was able to locate the group that had masterminded the attack on the mission. The decision was made to eliminate them._

_Quietly patrolling through the jungle ravine towards the abandoned farm that the COBRA backed militants occupied, six Legionnaires and twenty of the militia they trained approached the farmstead._

_Conrad stepped over the dead body of one of the enemy sentries, shot dead by hidden snipers as the assault team neared the compound._

_Three buildings, the house, the barn, and an outbuilding was where reconaissance had located the militants that COBRA had been training and supplying._

_Moving quietly towards the main house, Ian behind him, Conrad opened the front door with a free hand, moving into the hallway and into a side room. Three bundles on the floor, where three slumbering militants lay. Conrad aimed down the sights of the FAMAS rifle at the one on the left, Ian the one on the right and both men squeezed off short bursts of gunfire into their respective bundles._

_The third militant awoke with the sound of gunfire, reaching for his Kalashnikov next to his sleeping mat as bullets from both Ian and Conrad ripped into his body. All around the compound bursts of gunfire and the occasional grenade explosion could be heard as Commando Depuis wrecked their vengeance._

_A few militants managed to grab weapons, awakened as they were by the sounds of shooting, trying to fight back._

_Bullets flew into the tin walled room, narrowly missing Conrad, who hurled a grenade back out the window in response. Running back outside, he could see the militant he had hit with the grenade's explosion lying on his side, fingers holding his midsection and trying to hold in severely lascerated viscera. The man, no, boy, Conrad realized as he approached, was screaming bloody murder..._

Conrad sat up in bed with a start. But sitting awake hadn't lessened the screaming at all. As he sat up, blinking his eyes he realized the screaming wasn't coming from his nightmare. It was coming from the neighboring apartment.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
Caitlin Todd  
16 February 2002, 0033**

The scream was especially loud in Kate's room, given her room was the one closest to the apartment shared by Roadblock and Todd. And from the position of the scream Kate could tell her room was the one that was just through the wall from Todd's.

She headed out of her bedroom to find Conrad had clearly also been awakened. He stood at the window of the apartment, a can of beer open in one hand.

"Having a nightcap?" Kate said.

"You could say that." Conrad replied.

Kate asked, "Last night you said that children suffered the worst in war. And you also mentioned child soldiers..."

Conrad turned to face her as she spoke, "And you said that cryptic phrase about no soldier wanting a dead kid on their conscience."

"I did say that, yes." Conrad replied, "What's your point?"

Conrad could see Kate was ruminating on things and wasn't surprised when the Secret Service agent's features showed recognition.

"You killed one of them, didn't you?" Kate said, softly.

Conrad nodded and added, "So you see, that's why the kid's story resonates for me. He was recruited by Magneto to be part of his Brotherhood of Mutants, only to nearly wind up dead at his hands."

He proceded to tell Kate everything he had seen. The missionaries and their kindness. The COBRA backed faction that had overrun the mission. Of Commando Depuis' vengeance.

"The damndest thing," Conrad concluded, "I have mixed emotions about that. On one hand I thought the bastards who attacked the mission got exactly what they deserved. We sent them to the Gates of Saint Peter to face justice. _Vae Victis._"

"Suffering to the conquered." Kate translated, recognizing the Latin Conrad had spoken. She saw the ex-Legionnaire faintly nod.

"On the other among their number were quite a few youths they had trained to be fighters. I know I will have to answer for having killed." Conrad replied, "Perhaps my punishment was already been bestowed. I'll never forget that teenaged fighter, killed by my hand in Africa."

Kate, seeming to change the topic, asked, "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"I do, in fact. They're five and eight years younger than me respectively." Conrad smiled ruefully, "We were close for a long time...and we're starting to get closer again, since I started writing home again after my first two years in the Legion."

He looked towards Kate and asked, "What about you, do you have other siblings other than the 'psychotic' older brothers?"

"An older sister, named Rachel, who lives in Miami." Kate replied, "She's still younger than my brothers."

"Ah, and how many brothers do you have?" Conrad asked.

"Three. All psychotic as I said." Kate replied.

"So you are the baby of the family." Conrad said, with a faint smile.

Kate shot him a half serious dirty look, "And you seem to have the older brother vibe to you."

"Touche, mademoiselle." Conrad replied.

A brief, but comfortable silence followed as Conrad asked, "I take it the same scream that woke me up woke you as well?"

Kate nodded, "Poor kid. He might've worked for Magneto, and was kicked out for being the least competent of his bunch, but he still didn't deserve..."

"So now you see why I would personally put a knife through Mystique's gut if I ever ran across her." Conrad replied.

"I understand it, yes. But I don't agree with it, Conrad." Kate replied.

"However, in some strange sort of way Todd was fortunate." Conrad said.

"He survived being thrown out of the jet and Roadblock found him." Kate replied, then with a small smile said, "He's good with Todd, isn't he?"

"Exactly." Conrad replied, "If anyone could show the world that mutants and humans are capable of getting along its those two. Roadblock took the kid in, adopting him as his own son."

"My reports back to Washington have been saying as much." Kate replied.

"Oh the scourge of the field agent. Reports to headquarters." Conrad joked.

"Especially if your boss asks you to clarify things." Kate added, with mirth in her voice.

"You said it. My boss can't believe the story about the gingerbread scorpion." Conrad replied.

"Mine's going nuts about Mr. Toad's Wild Ride." Kate replied.

"Huh?" Conrad asked.

"That's what I've taken to calling Todd's joyride in the tank that we witnessed when we first got here." Kate replied.

"I like how you think." Conrad replied.

The pair talked until the sunlight from the sunrise outside their window shined into the living room...

* * *

To Be Continued...


	8. Of Ninjas, Sailors, and Shakespeare

Of Ninjas, Sailors, and Shakespeare

Disclaimer: Same as before...

Note: I figured a shorter but more humorous chapter was in order to balance out the past two chapters' darkness.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Todd Tolansky  
****18 February 2002, 0808**

Todd sneaked around the white walls of the square shaped building, with its blue tiled roof giving the impression of an ancient Japanese castle. He had snuck away from the training area when Roadblock had been called away for a quick huddle.

_I want to see so much of this base. But here especially, where the ninjas are. Real live ninjas! Whoa! _Todd thought.

He silently crept in and then had some second thoughts. _I shouldn't be here. They probably eat little toads like me for breakfast and use my leg bones to pick their teeth and…_

He ducked behind some boxes, watching two ninjas, one in white and one in black. He watched their fluid movements. They were so graceful. Perfection itself.

_If only I could be like them. So swift. So silent. So graceful. _Todd thought as he watched the two ninjas. _If I was, I wouldn't ever be afraid again. I can see it all now! Todd the Ninja! The most dangerous mutant in history._

The boy continued to daydream. _I'd kick Mystique and Magneto out of a jet and see how they like it! Then I'd trash the Brotherhood and the X-Geeks! Ooh! Ooh! Even better! I'd create my own army of mutants and let them beat them up! Why should I do all the work…_

Inwardly Todd thought about it. His own kingdom, a grand palace. Duncan Matthews, as a court jester/punching bag. Rogue as his personal secretary. He had just day dreamed about the moment in which he had found the most terrified, weakest, and seemingly hopeless mutant, making him his squire and…

Todd looked up in time to see the ninja in black crouched down over the top of one of the crates, looking back down at him.

"Eeep!" Todd said and started hopping away, out of the dojo. He tried heading towards the training area but he had no idea where the place was. But he knew he had to get away, and as he hopped over a hedge row he found himself face of face, or nearly face to foot, rather, with Agent Caitlin Todd…

* * *

**The Pit, Airtight's Stage  
****Conrad, Kate, Scarlett, and Airtight  
****16 February 2002, 0744**

"This is something you don't see on a typical Army base." Kate remarked as they stepped onto an open quad near some hedgerows.

It looked like the set of a play was afoot. And she noticed quite a few soldiers in tights and Elizabethan costumes.

"What light through yonder window breaks...Tis...tis.."

"Tis the east, and Juliet is the sun." A brown haired fellow with a receding hairline said, "Dusty, remember, East and Juliet as the sun…"

"What's this?" Kate asked Scarlett, who had been walking with her and Conrad earlier.

"That's Airtight's Theater Troupe." Scarlett replied, indicating the fellow with the receding hairline, "It's one of his many hobbies. And our Romeo is none other than Dusty, our very own desert warfare expert."

Kate couldn't help but wonder about why a tough looking fellow with a fairly tanned complexion and a rugged disposition was wearing tights and an Elizabethan costume. Then she got her answer when she saw a Eurasian woman in a beautiful dress.

_Ok, that answers the question. _Kate thought.

"Well, why else would any man volunteer for a theater troupe?" Conrad observed, noticing Kate's line of sight.

"I just came to that same conclusion and…" Kate began, noticing a shadow cast over her, and turned around in time to see Todd Tolansky leap right over the hedgerow.

Before she knew it Todd had collided with her faster than she could blink, his hands colliding with her shoulders and and knocking her to the ground on her back.

"Oops...I'm sorry...I'm sorry." Todd said.

As Todd stood up, Conrad reached down to help Kate stand up, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, thankfully that grass is soft." Kate replied, brushing the odd stray blade of grass from off of her clothes.

"And Todd, I thought you were at training today?" Conrad added, "I presume _Monsieur _Roadblock is looking for him."

"If he was supposed to be at the training area," Kate observed, "Then how did he wind up almost all the way across the base from there."

"He probably decided to do a bit of exploring." Conrad offered.

"My thoughts exactly." Kate replied.

"What are you doing here!?" Beach Head demanded as he stormed onto the quad, "You're supposed to be on the training ground!"

Todd went to hop away but Beach Head swiftly grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, picking the boy up as he did so.

"Beach Head, put him down!" Scarlett replied, turning from Kate and Conrad, "Can't you see the kid's scared of you."

Beach Head let go of Todd who had his hands up, as if expecting blows.

"Now, Todd," Scarlett said in a much more gentle tone, "My name is Scarlett. What are you doing here? I'm sure Roadblock is looking all over for you. Don't be scared, kid, just tell me what happened."

"Answer her boy." Beach Head growled.

"I got lost," Todd said, "I-I wanted to take a look at the ninja place and then I saw this ninja all in black and then I freaked and got lost…"

"Oh he just wanted to see the ninjas. He wanted to watch human killing machines...you are without a doubt the second most troublesome maniac to set foot on this base!"

Kate turned to Conrad and softly asked, "I wonder who the first is…"

"ALOHA!" a voice sounded as a bearded man, in a sailor's outfit wearing sunglasses and a lei.

"Right on cue." Beach Head grumbled, "What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to stay in Hawaii another week?"

"I was, but then I missed all my wonderful compadres…" Shipwreck, the bearded man, replied.

"Translation: You all got kicked out again." Beach Head replied, feeling another headache coming on, "I won't even _**attempt **_to figure out what you guys got into."

"Well, if you insist, actually we…" Shipwreck began.

"Shipwreck I said I don't want to know!" Beach Head shouted before stalking off, darkly muttering about troublesome menaces.

"And for you, lovely lady," Shipwreck said, removing the lei around his neck and putting it on Scarlett's, "in celebration of your recent promotion."

"Why thanks, Shipwreck." Scarlett said, as the bearded sailor turned his attention to the two agents and the kid with the mop of dirty blonde hair on his head.

Scarlett checked Shipwreck's line of sight, and said, "Shipwreck, I want you to meet Agent Conrad Hart, ACME Detective Agency, Agent Caitlin Todd, US Secret Service, and Todd Tolansky, codenamed Toad. He's the one Roadblock's looking after."

After Scarlett had introduced the two agents and Todd Shipwreck's features lit up with recognition, "Oh yeah, I heard about the kid and the two suits...uhm, no offense…"

"None taken." Conrad replied.

"Welcome aboard, in any case." Shipwreck said.

"Hi," Todd said, weakly, "You a sailor, yo?"

"Why that's like asking a seagull if he's a bird." Shipwreck replied.

"Shipwreck is quite possibly the craziest sailor you've ever heard of." Roadblock said as he walked towards them.

"Oh, you're the one who has the record for joyriding on tanks?" Todd asked.

"It's not polite to repeat gossip, kid," Roadblock replied, "Or go running off when my back is turned."

"Rude, unprincipled, and nothing but trouble. I like that in a man. Come here, kid, I'll show you the best places to lie low when you're in trouble!" Shipwreck said.

"Oh no!" Roadblock replied, "I am trying to teach this kid right from wrong. Around you he does not belong."

"Hopefully Roadblock's will remains strong." Conrad commented to Kate.

Kate turned to Conrad and said, "Or Todd learns to play along."

_Damn it, now I'm doing the rhyming thing too. _Kate thought. Despite her mild annoyance there was the trace of a small smile on her lips.

"Roadblock, you wound me." Shipwreck protested, "You know I'm perfectly qualified to look after the kid! After all my own…"

"SHIPWRECK! WHY IS THERE A TARANTULA IN MY DESK DRAWER?!" Beach Head's voice could be heard echoing from the HQ building.

"Sorry, I'd love to stay and chat, important business to attend to and all…" Shipwreck replied and made a rapid exit, stage left.

"Bye!" Todd waved at Shipwreck before turning to Roadblock, "I like him, he's funny."

"Oh Lord give me strength." Roadblock said, rolling his eyes, "Two of them on the same base. Now the question remains, what were you doing wandering off like that?"

"I wanted to look around…" Todd fidgeted and with the piercing glare Roadblock gave him, he added, "I-I wanted to see the ninjas."

"The _ninjas!?_" Roadblock declared incredulously. "Kid, do you have any idea how dangerous that is? They're not the most hospitable people in the world. And have you any idea what they do to people they catch snooping around their dojos? Forget it, I'm not gonna say any more, you have enough nightmares as it stands."

"I just thought they were interesting…" Todd replied.

"I find tigers interesting but I don't go wandering into their cages to watch them." Roadblock replied, "Come on! Back to work! I'll need to keep an eye on you to make sure you don't get into anything else…"

Once Roadblock and Todd were out of earshot, Kate turned to Conrad and asked, "Is it just me or is this Shipwreck character about to add even more to the insanity around here?"

"Perhaps. He certainly seems to have an interesting sense of humor and a lot of resourcefulness, what with the tarantula and everything." Conrad replied.

* * *

The following email exchange between Agent Caitlin Todd and Major Tim Kerry, United States Marine Corps, took up very little bandwidth but certainly was quite some interesting dialogue over the past two days:

_Kate,_

_Please tell me you're joking? Because if you aren't I'd swear you're on a mental institution instead of a military base. _

_But you have to admit, a dish juggling cook with a propensity for experiments and a hyperactive mutant teenager makes for some interesting reading. _

_I miss you, by the way._

_Tim_

* * *

_Tim,_

_I'm not making any of this up. And sometimes I think I am at a mental institution instead of a military base. Especially with this Shipwreck character running around._

_He's this bearded sailor with a weird sense of humor. The guy supposedly got kicked out of Hawaii for something._

_I miss you too._

_Kate_

_P.S. I love you._

* * *

_Kate,_

_I love you too, and of course I miss you._

_Never mind, I think I know you aren't making any of this up, I've heard rumors that the G.I. Joe team is known for some rather...unorthodox methods to say the least._

_Tim_

_P.S. Oh God, not Shipwreck! _

* * *

_Tim,_

_Ok, spill it, what's the deal with this Shipwreck character?_

_Kate_

* * *

_Kate,_

_Don't get me wrong, Shipwreck is a tough, dependable and honest fellow. And he's a great person to have watching your back in a bar fight._

_However, chances are he did something to start said bar fight…_

_Tim_

* * *

_Tim,_

_This sounds like it's coming from personal experience._

_Kate_

* * *

_Kate,_

_No comment._

_Tim_

* * *

To Be Continued…


	9. Kate vs Conrad

Conrad vs. Kate

Disclaimer: Same as before.

Author's Note: I was watching the NCIS episode, _Bone Yard_ and was inspired to write this particular short chapter.

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
General Hawk and Scarlett  
17 February 2002, 0630**

"So who's shadowing our two agents now?" Hawk asked Scarlett as the two of them sat on either side of his desk in his office.

"Quick Kick and Jinx." Scarlett replied, "They're actually also teaching a hand to hand combat class too, so they're being thrown into the mix."

"Hopefully they don't get too badly hurt." Hawk commented.

"Well given one is a Secret Service agent and the other is an ex-member of the French Foreign Legion I'm sure they can handle themselves." Scarlett replied.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
Kate, Conrad, Quick Kick, Jinx  
17 February 2002, 0632**

Conrad Hart was multitasking. He was doing a set of pull-ups on the nearby pullup bar and watching as Kate stretched on a nearby mat before standing up and practicing kicks and punches on a nearby heavy bag.

_Definitely quite limber, and fast._ Conrad thought as he watched her throw a left jab, right cross, left jab and then a rapid roundhouse kick with her right foot.

After he dropped off the chin up bar Conrad headed over to another nearby heavy bag, practicing a few punches of his own, before throwing a front kick.

Kate, as a habit, observed Conrad's punches thrown at the bag. Noticing they seemed to hit hard. Judging by how he threw them Kate came to her own conclusion. _He's definitely a power hitter, goes for hard individual strikes._

After a little more bag work, and some other work with striking pads held by Quick Kick and Jinx respectively it was time for a little sparring.

"Well," Quick Kick said, "Time for a little sparring. Let's see how you two do against each other, shall we?"

Both Kate and Conrad climbed into their respective corners of a standard four corner boxing ring. They both wore mouth guards, black leather fingerless MMA gloves as protection over their sports attire.

"Alright, we'll go two rounds, ending with first decisive hit or submission." Quick Kick announced.

He inspected both Kate and Conrad's gloves and mouth guards before raising his arm in the air and then swinging it downward before stepping back from the two combatants. The two circled around each other at first, trading jabs at first.

Kate noticed Conrad's practiced fighting stance as they did so. _Clearly a boxer._

"Are you going to try and hit me now?" Kate commented.

"Ladies first." Conrad quipped with a smirk.

Kate thought she'd saw an opening when Conrad slightly dropped his lead hand. Throwing a quick left for his face she was surprised when Conrad quickly caught it with the palm of his left hand and threw a hard right cross over the top of it.

Kate barely was able to slip away from the punch. _Definitely a counter-puncher. _Kate thought.

_Definitely quick._ Conrad thought, noticing how Kate barely dodged his last punch.

Conrad raised his right leg, kicking out with a low front kick, connecting with Kate's upper thigh to break away.

_Clever kick on the break. _Kate thought, before throwing a fast roundhouse kick, aimed at Conrad's ribcage. He just narrowly dropped his left elbow quickly enough to block the kick.

Kate managed to pull her leg back before Conrad could grab a hold of it and throwing a fast left handed jab. Conrad caught it, just barely, before trying to throw another hard right. Instead of slipping to avoid it Kate ducked underneath the punch before throwing one of her own at Conrad's unprotected stomach.

She heard him let out a gasp of air, indicating a good hit.

"Round one, Kate!" Quick Kick shouted.

"_Tres bien, mademoiselle._" Conrad said with a smirk.

"I hope you weren't holding back on me because I'm a woman." Kate replied, with a smirk of her own. _If he'd connected with either of those hard rights he threw..._

"Not at all," Conrad replied, "However I can see you know what you're doing. Your timing was quite good with that last one."

"Again, three practically psychotic older brothers." Kate replied.

After a brief rest the two were at it again for a second round of sparring. Once again Quick Kick gave them the go ahead and once again they started to fight.

This time Conrad went straight onto the offensive with a fast jab. Kate caught it, but before she could counter Conrad's right leg whipped around for a roundhouse kick of his own, causing Kate to drop her left arm to shield her ribcage.

And then that's when Conrad's punch caught her on the chin.

"Round two, Conrad!" Quick Kick called.

"Well it's pretty obvious you two are good strikers, but let's see how you do when things go to the ground." Quick Kick said, "That's going to be the lesson I'll be covering tomorrow."

"Sounds fun." Conrad quipped as he and Kate stepped out of the ring, removing gloves and mouth guards.

"You're pretty good." Conrad complimented as they began their cooling down exercises.

"Well, I do protect the President for a living." Kate replied, "And you're not too bad yourself."

"Well," Conrad said, "I did serve in the French Foreign Legion, where we were taught a blend of _savate_ and some ground work."

"_Savate_?" Kate asked.

"French for 'Old Shoe', it basically is a sort of kickboxing style that originated as an old school street fighting style but later evolved into a sport." Conrad replied, "They taught us the latter version in the Legion."

"Ah, _savate_," Quick Kick commented, "The infamous 'game from Marseilles' they called it."

"One and the same." Conrad said, "Very useful in surviving on the streets of a France more reminiscent of Victor Hugo France versus the 'wine, cheese, and art' view of France that comes to mind."

"Is that with or without Quasimodo jumping down from the spires of Notre Dame?" Kate commented.

"_Touche_." Conrad remarked, "However I do believe Quasimodo would make one hell of a grappler."

"How so?" Kate asked.

"Easy, having the upper body strength to ring those huge bells means he's definitely got the strength base for it." Conrad replied.

"Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean he knows how to fight." Kate replied.

"True, his form and his bulky upper body would definitely be a deterrent to the average thug." Conrad replied, "But I could argue that he would know how to fight because there would always be that one fellow who would want to fight him…"

"This is shaping up to be the Isla Sorna debate all over again." Kate remarked as they headed towards the entrances of their respective locker rooms.

"I do enjoy our debates, however." Conrad replied, with a toothy grin before they split off for their respective locker rooms.

* * *

**Notes from Kate's PDA:** _Over the last four days I've had one interesting trip. I got introduced to Todd Tolansky in a really informal way. I got to watch Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, i.e. the kid taking a joyride on a tank._

_I did get to hear from the nurse that treated Todd's wounds when they found him as well as from Roadblock, the soldier that adopted him. My report is going to emphasize that Todd stay here. From what I've seen and heard so far Roadblock's made some decent progress with the kid._

_While it's still too early to tell, it would be a mistake to separate the kid from his adopted home._

_As far as interesting is concerned, I would be remiss if I didn't include the Pit and G.I. Joe in the mix. By no stretch of the imagination is the Pit a typical military base, as the Shakespeare troupe led by their chemical warfare expert, Airtight, clearly shows._

_Their chef, BA, isn't quite playing with a full deck. He certainly plays a big part in keeping things interesting around here._

_And recently I ran into a fellow nicknamed Shipwreck. By all accounts he seems to be both an effective member of the team but also just plain nuts. The term 'Napoleon of Nuts' was uttered at least once or twice._

_And a third interesting is my partner for this assignment, from the ACME Detective Agency. He's a fellow riddled with contradictions. An American who served eight years in the French Foreign Legion, to include being wounded in action in Africa fighting against COBRA. His hearing in his left ear tends to come and go, owing to a grenade explosion._

_In four days I've learned more trivia about the French Foreign Legion from sharing an apartment with this guy. I didn't know, for instance, until this morning that quite a few marching songs the Legion has are in German because there were large numbers of Germans in their ranks after both World Wars._

_Baer wants me to stick around and learn as much as I can about Todd's rehabilitation and any information on the Brotherhood. I'm only telling Tim brief details, because I don't want Baer knowing that we're seeing each other. After all dating between members on Presidential Detail is absolutely forbidden..._

* * *

To Be Continued. Up next our pair meet other mutants that live on the Pit...


	10. Ninjas, Destinies, and Babies

Ninjas, Destinies, and Babies

Disclaimer: Same as before.

Author's Note: The characters of Althea and Claudius Delgado first appeared in Red Witch's Ronin Toad.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Todd Tolansky and Stormshadow  
****17 February 2002, 0858**

Not even twenty-four hours after making the promise to not sneak around the ninja dojo Todd was back. Something he couldn't explain drew him over there.

_Maybe if I'm real quiet they'll let me watch. _Todd thought. He watched as a ninja in white was practicing his moves, moving fluidly, swiftly, not wasting a single bit of energy. A study in precise movement.

_That's got to be the one they call Stormshadow. _Todd thought.

To his surprise the ninja went into a crouched stance, similar to his own, like a frog on a ninja seemed oblivious to the world around him, the man was totally still, almost like a statue. Todd crept closer, from behind, out of the man's field of view.

"Would you like to join me?" the ninja said softly, "It would be nice to have someone to exercise with."

Todd's heart hammered in his chest, threatening to invade his throat. _How did he know I was there? Well, duh, he's a ninja! _

Stormshadow didn't seem angry about it in the least. He quietly skootched over to the ninja, side to side with the man. And then he began copying the ninja's moves...

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate and Conrad  
****17 February 2002, 0910**

"What are you whistling?" Kate asked as they walked towards the apartment building, referring to the slightly jaunty tune Conrad was whistling.

"_Der Westerwaldlied._" Conrad replied.

"Another Foreign Legion marching song?" Kate asked.

"Actually it was a German marching song, popular in the Wehrmacht in the Second World War." Conrad replied.

"How do you know it, then?" Kate asked, "Please don't tell me you served in the German Army too?"

"No, it's in the Foreign Legion's repertoire." Conrad replied.

"How does the _French_ Foreign Legion have a German song in its songbook?" Kate asked, with a quirked eyebrow.

"There were a lot of Germans in the Legion after both the First and Second World Wars." Conrad replied, "I can recall several songs that we had to learn that were in German, reflecting the heavy presence of Germans in the Legion."

"Such as?" Kate asked, genuinely curious.

"_Ich Hatt'einen Kameraden, Schwarze Rose, _and _Lili Marlene _are the three that readily come to mind." Conrad replied.

At Kate's quizzical look, Conrad supplied, "The first one 'I Had a Comrade', sung in memory of the fallen. The second, 'Black Rose' is one that came about during the 19th century in Algeria. And the third is a universal theme, a soldier missing a lover. It was actually popular with both sides in World War II."

"No way." Kate replied.

"Well, some things are universal." Conrad replied.

"Ok, smart guy, how did Allied soldiers get a hold of a German song?" Kate asked.

"Radio Belgrade played it as its sign off broadcast and British soldiers in North Africa on shortwave radios were able to pick it up." Conrad replied.

Kate was about to reply when she noticed Roadblock heading for them right out of the corner of her eye.

"Roadblock, what's going on?" Conrad asked, as he noticed the massive soldier heading their way.

"Have either of you seen Todd anywhere?" Roadblock asked.

"No, not at all. Not since breakfast this morning." Conrad replied.

"He wandered off again?" Kate asked.

"Looks like it." Roadblock said.

"Wonder where he could've headed off to?" Conrad asked.

"Well, what did Roadblock scold him about yesterday?" Kate countered.

"Hm...for running off I'm sure." Conrad replied.

"But where did he run off from?" Kate asked.

"The Ninja Dojo." Roadblock answered.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Todd Tolansky and Stormshadow  
****17** **February 2002, 0915**

Todd followed Stormshadow's moves almost exactly. He wasn't quite as graceful but it wasn't hard for him to practice these moves. Then they moved across the room to a set of balance beams several feet off the ground.

_This is easy! I could do this all day.._.Todd beamed.

"TODD!"

"Uh oh!" Todd said as he fell off the beams and landing right on top of Conrad.

Todd gave a weak smile as he stood up and dusted himself off. A slightly dazed Conrad swayed somewhat unsteadily to his feet.

"Are you alright?" Kate asked.

"I landed on something soft." Todd replied.

"I think that was my head followed by my shoulders." Conrad grumbled.

"Didn't I tell you not to bother them?" Roadblock scolded.

"He wasn't bothering me." Stormshadow said, "In fact, it was very nice having him around. We should do this again sometime."

"Really?" Todd's eyes brightened.

"Yes," Stormshadow replied.

Kate blanched slightly. _While it's true the kid is no longer part of Magneto's Brotherhood of Mutants, I'm not so sure I like the fact that he's about to learn ninjutsu and…_

"You may have a point," Roadblock said, "The kid could use the discipline."

Kate sighed with relief and she noticed Conrad's wry grin. _Note to self, ask him about that later. _

As Roadblock and Stormshadow made arrangements for Todd's future training Kate felt somewhat more reassured. _Note to self, be very careful about mentioning Todd and ninja training in the same sentence._

Kate turned to Conrad and asked him, "What are you grinning about?"

"The fact that _mademoiselle_ was worried over nothing." Conrad replied.

"A former member of the Brotherhood of Mutants learning ninja skills does give me some concern." Kate replied.

"However there is an inherent discipline involved in properly learning and mastering any martial art." Conrad countered, "And the boy hasn't any loyalty to Magneto."

"My job involves worrying about any threat to the President's safety, Conrad." Kate replied, "So I do have to look into any possible threat."

Conrad merely canted his head towards where Stormshadow and Todd were talking with Roadblock.

"Well, I could use some help sweeping out the back." Stormshadow said.

"Oh, I get it." Todd said, "This is just like those movies where the kid does all these chores but it turns out they were martial arts lessons in another form, right?"

"Uh, sure..." Stormshadow said.

"You do realize," Kate remarked, "That the kid is operating off of an old movie cliche, right?"

"Yes, but its a harmless one." Conrad replied, "It might help him."

Shortly afterward Stormshadow headed out of the back room, a meditation room of some sort, and headed straight for where Conrad and Kate were standing.

"I see the two of you have some concerns about Todd being trained in the ways of the ninja." Stormshadow calmly began, without preamble.

"Some, yes." Kate replied.

"I don't have any." Conrad countered.

"I will train the boy." Stormshadow said, "I will train him in our ways, to include the discipline a ninja must possess."

"I still have a few misgivings." Kate remarked.

"The boy is like a pitcher waiting for the water of knowledge to fill him." Stormshadow remarked.

"You can say it," Roadblock said as he approached the trio, "He isn't the fastest frog in the pond. But he means well and he tries hard."

"And given he has bonded to you," Conrad replied, "I honestly do not believe he is any threat. This ninja training may well be another way for the boy to heal."

"Maybe I should add more fish to his diet, it's supposed to be brain food." Roadblock replied.

"The boy is going to need a lot of fish." Stormshadow replied.

Kate was about to reply when the sound of a loud boom, like the clap of thunder, was heard.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Todd Tolansky  
****17 February 2002, 0944**

In the small meditation chamber Todd was busily sweeping. His face bore the expression of intense concentration. _I don't care if I have to sweep the entire base, I want Roadblock to be proud of me. I'll be a good little Toad and prove once and for all I'm not a screw up! I'll do everything he tells me to do, because that's part of martial arts training! Nothing is going to go wrong now...Wait, what's that noise!?_

Todd turned his head. He could've sworn he heard something. It sounded like a chime and several people talking.

_Well Roadblock, Stormshadow, Kate and Conrad are out there. Maybe it's them? _Todd thought to himself.

But the noises he heard persisted and none of the talking sounded like either of the four people at the front of the dojo.

_I'm probably imagining things. Back to work..._Todd thought and he went back to sweeping. But he heard the noises again going through his head. And this time he could identify where they were coming from.

It was the altar. And as he moved closer he noticed the mat underneath the altar began to glow brightly.

Acting entirely on instinct Todd moved the altar and the mat it rested on aside, finding the glow coming from underneath a trap door built almost seamlessly into the floorboards. As he lifted the door the voices and glowing stopped. Inside the hidden panel was a small hardwood box, with several letters in Kanji on it.

The box opened, seemingly of its own accord and inside the box was a round crystal that had some sort of writing on it as well. The language was one that Todd didn't know.

_Should I put this back? I mean if it was in a hidden compartment that means I wasn't supposed to know where it was. Well, I'm not gonna steal it, I'm just gonna look at it for a few minutes. _

With that in mind Todd stroked the top of the stone, and to his extreme surprise it began to glow with an even greater intensity. Then it levitated out of his hands, glowing with even greater intensity.

Then it came to a stop before spinning, glowing even brighter. Todd crouched, staring at it, hypnotized by the intensity of the glow before it flashed and the sound of a thunderclap. That was the last sound Todd heard before he fell unconscious.

* * *

**The Pit, The Infirmary  
****Todd, Roadblock, and Stormshadow  
****17 February 2002, 1102**

"Oohh...what happened?" Todd said as he sat up.

"You ok kid?" Roadblock asked.

"I just feel a little dizzy." Todd replied, "What happened?"

"You don't remember anything?" Roadblock asked.

"I just remember finding this weird box and opening it and then this bright light..." Todd replied, forehead scrunching in thought.

"I'm afraid you triggered one of our hidden traps, installed to protect the dojo." Stormshadow replied.

"I guess that means I screwed up..." Todd replied, in a small voice, "A-and that I'm not allowed back."

"Actually," Stormshadow replied, "I was thinking you could benefit from some lessons."

"Oh he could use some lessons alright." Roadblock added.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause trouble." Todd replied.

"You never do! And you don't think! You could've been hurt or killed or worse." Roadblock scolded.

"Roadblock, he wasn't entirely to blame." Stormshadow interjected, "We should have been more careful where we placed the trap. It was also our fault for having forgotten it was there."

"Well," Roadblock replied, addressing Todd, "you could use the discipline martial arts teach."

"You're not mad anymore?" Todd asked.

"Kid, I'm not really mad at you." Roadblock said, "I was worried sick, however! You need to be a lot more careful. I'm willing to let it go this time, as long as you've learned something from all this."

"Uh, don't sneak around ninja dojos?" Todd supplied.

"Bingo!" Roadblock replied.

"Well, that settles it, then." Stormshadow replied, "Your first lesson is tomorrow, where you'll be training with some of the others."

"I'll be there!" Todd said, excitedly, "Thanks Stormshadow! You won't regret this! Do you want me to finish sweeping up the dojo now?"

"NO!" Roadblock and Stormshadow declared simultaneously.

"Listen, kid, why don't you wait outside. With Stormshadow I'd like to confide." Roadblock said, "Go stay with Agent Hart and Agent Todd in the waiting room."

"Ok," Todd said as he walked outside the room.

* * *

**The Pit, Infirmary Waiting Room  
****Todd Tolansky  
****17 February 2002, 1144**

Todd headed out into the waiting room, but didn't see Conrad or Kate anywhere. _Huh, wonder where those two headed off to? _Todd thought.

Then a thought popped into Todd's head, or rather another thought. _Roadblock did say to stay with Agent Hart and Agent Todd. I should go look for them._

After that particular thought popped into his head he headed out and started wandering around the building. He walked down hallways and stared into rooms…

* * *

**The Pit, Infirmary Waiting Room  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****17 February 2002, 1155**

"I swear there's some kind of cell phone jammer in the waiting room." Conrad remarked as they walked back into the waiting room.

"Wouldn't surprise me." Kate replied.

"And of course at a moment where our respective bosses wanted to talk to us." Conrad added with a wry grin.

It was as Kate was about to reply that Stormshadow and Roadblock walked into the waiting room.

Roadblock began, "Have either of you two seen Todd?"

"I thought he was with you?" Conrad countered.

"I sent him out here to wait for me after I had a private word with Stormshadow." Roadblock replied, "Did you two see him?"

"No, we both got calls from our bosses and had to step outside to take them." Kate replied.

"He's wandered off again and…" Roadblock began.

Before Roadblock could finish the sentence Bree came into the Waiting Room. "I hate to interrupt, but we've got a Code 22."

"Oh no, not him too." Roadblock groaned.

"What's a Code 22?" Kate asked.

"I think we'd best try and see for ourselves." Conrad replied as he motioned for Kate to follow Roadblock and Stormshadow.

* * *

**The Pit, The Laundry Room  
****Todd Tolansky  
****17 February 2002, 1151**

Todd poked his nose into the laundry room, "I wonder if there are any spare quarters in here?"

Todd walked into the room, looking around, hearing a scuttling and shuffling sound behind him.

"Wh-who's there?" Todd began.

Something ran behind him into a pile of laundry. Todd gingerly crept up to it and lifting the rumpled towel slowly to reveal what was hiding underneath.

Todd's eyes widened. It was a small child, just barely a toddler with bright blue eyes and a wild mop of black hair wearing a tiny sailor suit. But most prominently the little boy had flippers, like a seal lion instead of hands and feet.

"Huh? Where did you come from?" Todd asked.

The little fellow merely blinked, curiously.

"Hey, you must be a mutant! Gotta be with those flippers! Hey, I'm a mutant too, watch!" Todd said.

Then Todd did a backflip, landing on the far wall. He scampered around on the walls and ceiling and with a flourish he landed on the floor.

"Ta Da!" Todd said.

The little boy giggled and Todd said, "Oh you like that, huh?"

Todd smiled, pleased with himself, "Presenting the Amazing Todd the Toad! Mutant entertainer extraordinaire!"

He did a few more flips and bounces, much to the infant's delight. He even did several tongue flicks, turning on and off several lights. The little boy clapped his flippers and squealed with delight and Todd picked him up and twirled around with him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM!?"

At the sound of the angry female shout Todd found himself knocked on the floor, staring at the feet of a very angry girl. She was about his age, with long black hair dyed with a few electric blue streaks. She was a head taller than him, wearing a dark blue tank top, jeans, and a black leather jacket, her ears adorned with a pair of Chinese coin earrings; a shell necklace and fingerless black leather gloves. She also looked like she could take on Wolverine in a fight and win and take on the X-men immediately afterward.

She set the little mutant whom she was cradling in her arms, before balling her hands into fists as she demanded, "What do you think you were doing with him?"

Todd blinked as he looked up at the girl, "I wasn't doing anything. This little flipper guy snuck up on me."

"That little flipper guy is my brother!" the girl snapped.

The little mutant crawled over to Todd and wrapped his arms around Todd's leg, "Toddy! Mine!"

"Huh?" The girl replied, with confusion etching her features, "Well I'll be...He likes you. He's usually very shy with strangers. He never does that."

"Well we ain't strangers now," Todd replied, "Todd Tolansky. Call me Toad."

"Toad, huh?" the girl replied, looking him over, "Althea Delgato. Don't call me Al!"

"You don't look like an Al." Todd replied, before turning to the little mutant, saying, "And what's your name little guy?"

"Claudie." the baby mutant said.

"His name is Claudius." Althea said as she picked her baby brother up.

"Cute little fellow," Todd replied, "It's nice to see another mutant here, even if he's only a baby."

He tousled Claudius' hair and the little boy giggled.

Shipwreck rushed into the room, with Roadblock, Kate and Conrad behind him.

"You found him?" Shipwreck said.

"Yeah, Toad here got him. Call off the Code 22."

"Code 22?" Todd asked.

"Escaped baby." Althea explained, "For someone with flippers my baby brother is insanely fast. Maybe if _**someone **_was paying better attention to him he wouldn't get out so much."

_Flippers? _Kate thought. _Well, no kidding the little fellow is a mutant. Why wasn't that in my briefing?_

Kate noticed Conrad smiling, holding up his right hand and wiggling his fingers, as the toddler looked at them and blinked.

Althea glared at Shipwreck, meanwhile, "I told you to watch him!"

"I was watching him!" Shipwreck replied.

"More like watching the football game." Althea countered, folding her arms, "Just one minute while I got his bath ready, that's all I asked for, one lousy minute!"

"I told you I was gonna do his bath." Shipwreck added with a glare.

"After the last time?" Althea said, incredulous, "You got soap all over the bathroom!"

"I told you I wouldn't use that much bubble bath again!" Shipwreck replied, eyes rolling.

"Yeah right." Althea countered.

"Hey, when Shipwreck Delgato makes a promise he keeps it."

"You have the same name as her?" Todd asked Shipwreck, "You related or something?"

"Well I am her father," Shipwreck replied, "Or so I'm told."

"Sheesh. Why are the cute guys always so dumb?" Althea asked.

"What?" Todd asked, he wasn't sure he heard her correctly.

"Come on baby, bath time. Wave bye bye…" Althea cooed at her little brother.

"Buh bye." Claudius said, giggling and waving.

"See ya around, Little C." Todd said.

"You'll have to forgive my daughter for being so rude." Shipwreck said, "I'd say it was that time of the month, but she tends to be like this longer than a few days."

"Shipwreck!" Kate scolded.

"She just needs to work with her social skills with boys her own age…" Shipwreck added.

"DADDY!" Althea shouted.

"Maybe you two should hang around a bit more." Shipwreck suggested, stroking his beard in contemplation as he did so, ignoring the death glare Althea was fixing him with, "You could hang about the house for a bit…"

"Da-ad…" Althea glared, turning red.

"What?" Shipwreck said, "You said he was cute. You never say guys are cute."

"Okaywegottagobyebyenow!" Althea said, grabbing Shipwreck by the arm with a free hand as her blush deepened.

"Oh for crying out loud it's not like I'm asking you to make out with the guy in your room!" Shipwreck said as he was dragged out of sight.

Kate, Conrad and Todd beheld the spectacle before them and it was a long time before any of them spoke.

Kate broke the silence, "Is it just me or is Shipwreck…"

Roadblock rolled his eyes, "Yes, Shipwreck is a bit of a lunatic."

_Tim, is that what you meant? _Kate thought. _A bit of a lunatic doesn't cover it when it comes to Shipwreck…_

* * *

To Be Continued...


	11. An Interlude at Coconut Pete's

An Interlude at Coconut Pete's

Disclaimer: Same as before

Author's Note: Watching the film _Club Dread _gave me the idea of creating a franchise called Coconut Pete's for this one.

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
****General Hawk, Roadblock, Flint, Stormshadow  
****17 February 2002, 1550**

"So let me get this straight." Hawk said as he sat at his desk, his fingertips coming together in the form of a steeple, "Todd accidentally triggered some sort of booby trap in the dojo while doing some chores you assigned him."

"Yes." Stormshadow said.

"Alright," Hawk said, "I am all for ensuring the boy gets the training with you, Stormshadow. Both you and Roadblock made your points clearly about the discipline that the martial arts would teach the kid. But the reason I called this meeting was about that stone Todd found by accident."

Hawk paused before adding, "From what you told me, Stormshadow, that was no ordinary stone that Todd discovered by accident."

"Correct." Stormshadow said.

"And Lifeline said he wanted to do some additional tests too." Roadblock added.

"This is something I'm not sure I necessarily want ACME or the Secret Service to know about until I have more information." Hawk replied.

"Scarlett and Quick Kick are keeping an eye on our guests for now." Roadblock replied, "They're heading out into town for dinner."

"Whereabouts?" Hawk asked.

"Coconut Pete's." Stormshadow replied, "Out in town."

"Please tell me Shipwreck didn't try to join in." Hawk commented.

"Not a chance, given Shipwreck has been banned from that place for the last six months." Roadblock replied.

* * *

**Coconut Pete's Restaurant  
****Kate, Conrad, Quick Kick, and Scarlett  
1****7 February 2002, 1700**

"What are you reading?" Kate asked Conrad as she, Quick Kick, Scarlett and Conrad were heading out into town for dinner.

Conrad looked up from the paperback he was reading, sticking his index finger in the page he had been reading and turned to address Kate, "It's _Triggerfish Twist _by Tim Dorsey, an author from my home state."

"And where would that be?" Kate asked.

"Florida." Conrad replied.

"Florida?" Kate said, "I was way off."

"Way off on what?" Conrad asked.

"Where I guessed you were from." Kate asked, "And other than the French Foreign Legion."

"So, where did you figure me to be from?" Conrad said.

"Well, you've got a really neutral accent, but if I had to guess I would say the Northeast." Kate replied.

"There are a lot of folks from up North that moved to Florida. My Dad is from New York originally, and has that thick New Yorker accent." Conrad replied, "And it sort of rubbed off on me."

"So where are you from?" Conrad asked.

"Well, I did the work to guess where you were from…" Kate replied.

"I would say you're definitely from either the West or Midwest, I get that kind of vibe from you." Conrad replied.

"I'm from Indiana, actually." Kate replied, "Near Indianapolis."

"That explains the country girl sort of vibe I get from you." Conrad replied.

"Indianapolis isn't a small town, Conrad." Kate replied, "But still, you guessed right."

"So where are you guys from?" Conrad asked Scarlett and Quick Kick.

"Atlanta." Scarlett replied.

"Los Angeles." Quick Kick replied.

The car continued down the street and Conrad asked, "So where are we going?"

"To the Coconut Pete's out in town." Scarlett replied, "You know it?"

"A franchise restaurant about as popular as Margaritaville." Conrad replied, "Similar to Margaritaville it's owned by a famous singer, in this case Coconut Pete, a fellow often compared to Jimmy Buffett."

"Definitely unfavorably in my opinion." Kate remarked.

"How so?" Quick Kick said.

"Oh no…" Scarlett groaned as Quick Kick turned around in the front seat to talk to Kate.

"Oh no, why?" Conrad asked.

"Quick Kick happens to be a Coconut Pete fan." Scarlett replied.

Kate shot Conrad a look that said, 'a little help?' only for Conrad to chuckle, "You might have walked into that one, _mademoiselle._"

"Some legionnaire you are, avoiding a fight." Kate replied.

"Well, there is the old saying that discretion is the better part of valor." Conrad replied, "However...I happen to find both Jimmy Buffett and Coconut Pete to be quite good artists."

"I admit I do like Jimmy Buffett's music as well." Quick Kick said, "But I think there's a more 'island freedom' aspect to Coconut Pete's music."

"Don't get him started." Scarlett groaned as they stopped the car as the foursome stepped out of the car.

It was as they entered the restaurant the lyrics to the song Coconut Pete song Naughty Cal began to play.

"_Naughty Cal. Bongo and Tokey got tired of living on land. So the three amigos took an undersea trip, and never were seen again._"

"See, that's a sign of the island escapism that Coconut Pete espouses, just like Buffett." Quick Kick said.

"_Started out alright and made a couple of miles till they spotted a watering hole. Had their wits about them until they were served a bottomless scorpion bowl._"

"More like advocating rampant alcoholism." Kate quipped.

"Like Jimmy Buffett doesn't have a lot of drinking in his songs?" Quick Kick countered.

"He's a lot less blatant about it." Kate replied.

"But it's still in his songs...I mean 'Wasted Away Again in Margaritaville'?" Quick Kick observed.

"It's still part of the theme of both Jimmy Buffett and Coconut Pete's songs." Conrad added, "There's a certain island escapism…"

"Not to mention blatant hedonism." Kate added.

"As I was saying there is that island escapism in the songs of both men. Therefore they're great artists." Conrad replied as their hostess seated them.

"And the most bitter rivals." Kate replied.

"Believe me, I did see the interview that E! did with Coconut Pete at a bar in Marseilles." Conrad replied, "It was rather interesting how they managed to translate the infamous phrase to describe his rival: Son of a Son of a Bitch…"

Scarlett looked up from the menu and smiled, "So what does 'Son of a son of a bitch' translate into in French?"

"_Fils d'un fils de pute._" Conrad replied with a grin.

Kate snickered, "French, a language that sounds _almost _too pretty to swear in."

"Wait till you actually hang around the French and then you'll see/hear different." Conrad countered as he glanced at the menu.

"Any recommendations for drinks?" Kate replied.

"They do have good beer on tap." Scarlett replied

"What's a Hurricane Shipwreck Punch?" Conrad asked.

"It's a cocktail named after Shipwreck. However Shipwreck's been banned from the premises indefinitely." Scarlett said.

"I am almost afraid to ask this," Kate began, "But why is Shipwreck banned from here?"

"About two years ago we had word that a COBRA spy ring was operating right here in this restaurant. Shipwreck was a regular here." Scarlett replied.

"So naturally he was the best candidate to try and flush this spy ring out." Quick Kick added.

"So he failed to do so?" Conrad asked.

"No, he succeeded." Scarlett said, "However the management was rather miffed about the fact that one COBRA got thrown through the front window and about the fires…"

"Fires?" Kate began, blinking her eyes with surprise and shock, "As in _**multiple **_fires?"

"Yes. Shipwreck burned down the restaurant in the process of flushing out the spy ring…" Scarlett replied.

"And because of that the patrons of this place nicknamed him Hurricane Shipwreck." Quick Kick added.

"There's the irony." Scarlett said, "Shipwreck's never tasted the drink named after him at the drink's birthplace."

"Well, how is the drink?" Conrad asked.

"It's not bad." Scarlett said, "It's really strong, but it doesn't taste bad."

As the evening progressed Kate thought to herself. _I wonder if that's the incident Tim was talking about regarding Shipwreck._

* * *

_Agent Todd,_

_I have attempted to secure the files you requested on Althea and Claudius Delgato. All I can say is those files are sealed as well, and it was deemed that you don't need to know the information in either file for your mission._

_Your last message confirmed that at least one of the Delgato children is a mutant. The young baby, Claudius. I want you to figure out what his powers are, and note any potential powers that can arise as the kid gets older._

_Please keep us abreast of Tolansky's progress and the possibility of cultivating Agent Hart as a source of information._

_Agent Baer_

* * *

To Be Continued...


	12. E-mail, Sparring, and Crushes

E-mails, Sparring, and Crushes

Disclaimer: Same as before

* * *

Author's Note: Several sections from Red Witch's Ronin Toad inspired this particular chapter. And the character of Sergeant Snuffles, i.e. Beach Head's teddy bear, was first created by Red Witch.

_Tim,_

_Evidently Shipwreck, two years ago, burned down the local Coconut Pete's in the process of trying to flush out a COBRA spy ring operating out of the place. Is that the incident you were hinting at?_

_I miss you._

_Kate_

_P.S. I love you._

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Kate, Conrad, Quick Kick, and Shipwreck  
****18 February 2002, 0845**

"Oh there's a sequel to that incident with Shipwreck burning down the Coconut Pete's." Quick Kick began as he approached Conrad and Kate.

"So Shipwreck destroyed _**another **_restaurant in town?" Kate asked.

Quick Kick replied, "It involves another restaurant, the local Margaritaville just up the street."

"Let me guess, Shipwreck got a gift certificate or something from them." Conrad chimed in.

"Nope, better, he evidently has a lifetime discount on drinks at any Margaritaville restaurant chain he comes across." Quick Kick replied.

"How far will Shipwreck go to get on a bender?" Kate asked.

"That is a question best left unanswered." Quick Kick replied.

"What's best left unanswered?" Shipwreck said as he walked into the room.

"How far you'll go to get on a bender." Quick Kick replied, "I was telling them about the Coconut Pete's incident two years ago…"

"There is another side to that story." Shipwreck began.

"There's another side to burning down a restaurant?" Kate asked, incredulous.

"Exactly. It was in the line of duty…" Shipwreck replied.

"You still burned down a restaurant." Kate countered.

"Jeez, trash one place and you get marked for life." Shipwreck replied, defensively before saying, "Looks like my little girl and Todd are about to get some sparring in."

Indeed, in the same small sparring area where Kate and Conrad had faced off the day before Todd, clad in a white training gi wearing a white belt was facing off against Althea, similarly clad with the exception of the black belt across her waist and her trademark fingerless black gloves.

"So you train here too?" Todd asked.

"Yup. Uhm, hey, about yesterday I'm sorry. It's just that Claudie is so little and I thought you were picking on him..." Althea said.

"No sweat, you were just watching out for your little bro." Todd replied, "I understand..."

Stormshadow headed over to them just then and said, "Well, it is good that the two of you have gotten to know one another. Now, Toad, I want to assess your fighting skills."

"Ok, uhm, so you want me to fight you or something?" Todd asked.

"Pfah." Althea commented, "You're fighting me, pal. And don't worry about hurting me because I'm a girl. I want a good fight."

"If that's what you want," Todd said as he raised and lowered his right knee and then his left, "That's what you'll get. I won't hold back on my powers much."

"This should be good." Conrad remarked.

"I'd say they're overmatched." Kate countered.

"I'd be inclined to agree with the lady, Hart." Shipwreck replied, "My little girl has fighting in her blood."

"And I presume the same penchant for destruction?" Kate replied.

"You know it." Shipwreck said, as he proudly tugged on the lapels of his own training gi.

_Note to self, leave __**that **__out of my next report to Baer. _Kate thought as Todd leapt into the air.

"Ok sister let's see you handle this!" Todd leaped towards Althea from across the sparring area, doing a flip in mid air, as he attempted to kick her.

With expert timing Althea dodged with a slip to the right and with a front snap kick she managed to shove him off balance. Todd tried to throw a roundhouse kick after he regained his footing but Althea simply jumped backward and Todd's foot passed harmlessly in front of her.

"Is that all you've got?" Althea taunted as she dodged three other attacks from Todd, "You ain't got nothing."

"Hey, I'm the Toad! I've got style, character, and charisma yo!" Todd countered as he swept Althea's legs out from underneath her before she could react. However she rolled away before he could pin her down.

"About time." Althea grinned as she flipped up to a standing position, "Maybe this might last longer than a few seconds."

"I'm just getting warmed up." Todd crowed. He only now realized that their match was starting to draw a small crowd.

"I've got moves you wouldn't believe." Todd added as he jumped up again and went for another jump kick, this time with both feet.

"Blah! Blah! Blah!" Althea replied as she dodged the kick with a springing leap of her own.

Todd shot out his tongue, which snaked around Althea's left arm.

"Hey! I don't do tongue on first dates!" Althea snapped, and grabbing hold of Todd's tongue with her free arm and pulled hard before cocking that same arm back for a punch.

As Todd flew towards Althea he saw her fist heading straight for his face but had no time to do anything about it. After the punch Todd found himself pinned on his back.

"Okay! Okay! I give up! Let me up! Man, what do you do, train with the Hulk or something?" Todd asked.

"Althea, let him up." Stormshadow commanded, "Now I need to see how everyone else does."

"Well," Shipwreck declared, "I guess that means you two need to go for round two of your little sparring match."

At both Conrad and Kate's quizzical looks, Shipwreck continued, "Well everyone heard about how you two fought each other yesterday striking. Let's see how you do rolling around on the ground.

"SHIPWRECK!" Kate admonished.

"Come on, not everything I say is full of innuendo!" Shipwreck replied defensively.

*WHACK*

Jinx walked by and casually smacked Shipwreck in the back of the head, "No, but most of the things you say are full of innuendo. We can't take that chance."

"Ow!" Shipwreck yelped.

"Alright you two," Jinx said, "Let's go see how you do grappling with each other. We'll start standing up."

Shipwreck snickered.

"Shipwreck, you and I are sparring right after these two are done." Jinx replied.

They started with Conrad's right hand gripping the left sleeve of Kate's gi, near her tricep and his left hand gripped a handful of fabric around Kate's right shoulder blade. Kate's grips mirrored Conrad's.

"Alright, begin." Jinx said.

Conrad stepped forward, seeking to try and unbalance Kate, looking for the opportunity for a take down.

_If I can get my arm loose I can throw him. _Kate thought. _However it doesn't seem like he's going to let go anytime soon._

Kate stepped back, just as Conrad tried to hook his right foot around the back of her leg to sweep it.

Immediately Conrad tried to pull Kate down with a pull to right, but without a leg sweep to assist he didn't get very far.

The two continued to step around the mat, still holding onto each other, trying to take the other down but not succeeding in either case.

"Alright you two, stop dancing with each other and go for a take down." Jinx replied.

"You dance divinely." Conrad smirked.

"Somehow I don't think leg sweeps are normal dance steps." Kate replied as she tried to slide her arm from underneath Conrad's armpit only for the ex-Legionnaire to clamp his arm around Kate's arm before he pitched backwards, landing on the mat on his back, immediately wrapping his legs around Kate's waist, just above her hips.

"Solid guard, Hart." Jinx began.

_She's right. _Kate thought. _His legs are pretty strong, he's probably going to try and bridge to roll me on my back and mount me...Then I'm in a bad position._

Kate felt Conrad attempt to do just that, before she pushed her left hand onto Conrad's right hip to check his movement.

Conrad felt Kate's right hand on his left thigh. _She's trying to pass my guard. Clever girl...But if I time this right…_

Kate pushed on Conrad's thigh, and Conrad let go with his guard, shrimping backward with a shoulder shimmy before hooking his right leg around the back of Kate's neck, his left hand grabbing a hold of her sleeve.

Then he hooked his left leg around his right ankle. Pulling with both legs and with his arm, tugging on her lapel with his free hand.

_Triangle choke..._Kate thought. _And he's got a good grip…_

As Kate felt her vision narrowing she began tapping the side of Conrad's right leg with a free hand. Conrad let go.

"Nice triangle choke." She quipped as they stood up.

"You weren't too bad yourself." Conrad replied, "If my timing had been off you would've mounted me…"

Shipwreck chuckled and both Conrad and Kate simultaneously shouted, "SHIPWRECK GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!"

"That's physically impossible for Shipwreck." Quick Kick quipped as he headed over to watch.

"Ok, now let's reset and see how you do this time." Jinx said.

"Grappling is a martial art full of Freudian slips." Conrad quipped as he and Kate got reset in position again.

"And of course Shipwreck will find them all." Kate replied as she and Conrad began the all too familiar dance of trying to take the other down.

_Alright, I don't want to roll around with this guy. _Kate thought. _Gotta try for a solid throw if I can manage it. _

_She's pretty good at dodging takedowns. _Conrad thought. _But I'm stronger than she is, and if I can get her on the ground I'm in good shape. _

Conrad felt Kate backing up and Conrad advanced, keeping their close proximity, trying for yet another leg sweep but missing.

_He's stronger than I am, and his timing's good, I just avoided that takedown too. _Kate thought.

Kate took a couple steps backward. _I've got to time this just right…And if I'm right he'll follow me._

Conrad took the two steps to match Kate's movement.

_Gotcha. _Kate thought, a smile on her lips.

Kate slipped her arm out from underneath Conrad's arm, managing to grab his lapel, then got her other hand around his other lapel before she planted her foot just above his right hip and fell backwards.

A near perfect sacrifice throw that sent Conrad flying and landing with a thud on his back that knocked the wind out of him.

"Solid sacrifice throw, Agent Todd!" Jinx called out.

"Agreed, _mademoiselle._" Conrad replied as he shakily got to his feet.

"You aren't too shabby yourself." Kate replied.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Todd Tolansky, Althea Delgado, Beach Head  
****18 February 2002, 0903**

"What do you want you little troll?" Beach Head remarked as he saw Todd looking at him.

"Can I see your teddy bear sometime?" Todd asked innocently, "I used to have a stuffed frog. I miss it. I couldn't sleep without it either."

"Go away you ugly little wart farm." Beach Head snapped.

Todd glared at him, walking outside, as he grumbled, "Just trying to be nice."

He leaned against a tree, watching some other soldiers training. _Why'd he have to throw that in my face? As if I didn't know how I look? Okay, I can handle losing to a chick who's cute, but he didn't have to point out the obvious! Who am I kidding? It's not like she'd go out with me anyway. Not when she sees these guys with these perfect bodies all the time. Oh yeah. What could she ever see in a guy like me? _

Althea walked over to him, an amused look on her face. "What's wrong? For someone who's never done martial arts before you did great. So what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just…" Todd began, eyes downcast, "You won't understand."

"Try me." Althea said, and then her eyes moved to some of the soldiers who were jogging by, "Wait a minute, is this about what that jerk Beach Head said about how you look?"

"Well," Todd said, making a semi-circle on the ground with his right foot and looking down, "I ain't exactly called Toad because of my good looks."

"What's wrong with the way you look?" Althea said, looking askance at him.

Amazed Todd looked at her, "You don't think I'm ugly?"

"Ugly?" Althea challenged, "Please! You may not have perfect chins and rippling abs and stuff! You've got style, character, and charisma!"

"Yeah," Todd blushed slightly, "You don't have to say that you know."

"You calling me a liar?" Althea glared.

"No! No! Nothing like that…" Todd backpedalled, "I just...uh...um...well…"

"You really think you're ugly, don't you?" Althea said, shock in her voice, mixed with recognition.

"Well, I ain't perfect," Todd sighed, "I mean you...uhm...nevermind."

Althea replied, "Todd, you know, you and I are alike in a lot more ways than you think."

She slowly removed her left glove, putting her now bare left hand on his right. Todd absently looked at it and with widening eyes he noticed that it was webbed, recognizing the slight expanse of skin between her fingers, just like his own.

"You...you're just like me! I mean your hands!" Todd stammered.

"I have gills too," Althea added as she moved her hair out of her way on the right side of her neck, revealing three delicate gills on her neck right below her ear, "I've been able to breathe on both land and water since I was born."

"You're a mutant too!" Todd replied.

"Duh!" Althea shot back with amusement, "So is my brother and all my sisters. We all have the same ability. My mom's one too, but she had trouble breathing out of water. It's kind of a long story. You see, Todd sometimes...not for long you understand...but even I feel a little weird about how I look."

"But you're beautiful!" Todd protested, the words coming out of his mouth faster than he could think. He blushed.

Althea blushed as well. "Don't get me wrong. My Dad's always made me feel special. He's really great with this mutant thing. Actually sometimes, no most of the time, he does make me feel normal with how crazy he is. And around her nobody cares I'm a mutant. I've known most of them all my life. But sometimes I feel a little...sheltered...you know. Afraid to let other people see the real me."

"Yeah, I guess I can understand that." Todd replied.

"So, you wanna go back inside? I'll let you fight me again." Althea replied.

"Okay…" Todd replied, "I just gotta ask you something."

"Shoot."

"What's the deal with the spaceship?"

* * *

To Be Continued…

Of note, in Ronin Toad there was a spaceship on the Pit.


	13. Memories and Batteries

Memories and Batteries

Disclaimer: Same as before...

* * *

**From Conrad's Notebook: **_Six days have passed since being assigned to work with Agent Todd from the Secret Service here at the Pit. _

_Almost a month ago a boy was found in the swamps not far from the Pit, having been beaten and thrown out of a jet by none other than Magneto. Of course this was right after Mystique had administered a savage beating. If I ever get the chance to put a knife into the woman's gut I will take it._

_Violence against children is abhorrent. In my own case I at least meted out violence because it was in war. I digress, however, as I am as likely to be judged for my own actions at the Gates of Saint Peter when my time comes. _

_Tolansky seems to be making progress, that much is clear to me. He has clearly bonded with Sergeant Marvin Hinton, a.k.a. Roadblock and in my assessment it is the boy's best hope. Every one of my daily reports to my team leader at ACME states as much. _

_There also appear to be other mutants here at the Pit. For one, the two children of Shipwreck that I've seen so far appear to be mutants. This environment is best for Todd, since he has people close to his own age to bond with..._

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Caitlin Todd and Conrad Hart  
****19 February 2002, 0655**

Kate stepped out of her bedroom, to the small kitchen/dining area where she noticed Conrad was busily writing something in a medium sized leather bound notebook with graph-lined pages. Beside the notebook were three photos next to Conrad's right hand, clutching a pen as he wrote in the notebook's pages.

She was careful to come up from the right side, since she knew his hearing came and went in his left ear.

"Conrad?" Kate said softly.

The ex-Legionnaire turned and said, "Yes?"

"Want to chance going to breakfast, or should we break into our food supply?" Kate asked.

"I had a look at the breakfast menu when I went out for a run earlier." Conrad replied, "Are you partial to green eggs and ham?"

"No way..." Kate groaned.

"Yes way." Conrad replied, with a snicker.

"You're making this up." Kate accused.

"I don't have _that _good of an imagination." Conrad countered.

"As in _**actually **_green eggs and ham?" Kate asked, incredulous.

"Todd was lugging around what appeared to be industrial sized plastic containers of green food coloring." Conrad replied, "And under BA's supervision to boot."

"Ugh..." Kate replied, "That settles it, I think a nice breakfast in the apartment is in order."

"My sentiments exactly." Conrad said as he rose to head over to the coffee pot and took out a filter and put some coffee grounds into it, "Not sure how strong you like your coffee."

"Surprise me." Kate replied as she opened the refrigerator, rummaging around inside for a bag of bagels, some cream cheese and some sliced smoked salmon.

"Suit yourself." Conrad replied as he put water into the coffee pot and took out two mugs and two plates.

Kate offered, "Bagel?"

"Sure, thanks." Conrad replied.

Kate sliced two bagels and stuck them into the toaster as the coffee brewed. Once the bagels and coffee were done Conrad handed Kate a mug before filling his own mug with coffee as Kate handed him a plate with a bagel on it.

After breakfast was ready they walked back to the dining room table and began to eat. As they did so Kate's glance moved to the three photographs near Conrad's notebook. Conrad noticed as well.

"I didn't mean to be nosy…" Kate replied.

"It's quite alright, they're personal photos, not private ones." Conrad replied. He gathered the three photos, each of them 3.5" by 5" and laminated, and handed them to Kate.

Kate wiped her fingers on a napkin before handling the photo.

The first photo was of Conrad and eight other men clad in camouflage uniforms. Four of the men wore black kepis with the gold seven flame grenade insignia of the French Foreign Legion. The other five wore white kepis, indicating lower ranking Legionnaires. They carried weapons and were posed in front of three French armored cars.

Conrad stood up and standing to Kate's left side, and slightly behind her he began to point to the different men in the picture.

"I could tell you something about each of the men in this photo." Conrad replied, "We were selected from units all over the Legion to form these advisory teams."

He pointed to a lean bodied, almost gaunt fellow with a black mustache, in the center of the picture "That was _Capitaine _Bernard Depuis from France, our team leader, whom our unit was named after. The man was quite possibly the biggest triathlon fanatic I'd met, always wore the biggest GPS watch."

His finger moved to the man's right, landing on a fellow with a graying near handlebar type mustache, "That's _Sergent-Chef _Hans Van Pelt, from the Netherlands. He was a hard as nails sort, widely rumored to have never smiled at his own mother. Always smelled of cheap cologne and cigarettes when in garrison."

Kate, despite herself, couldn't help but chuckle at the remark, then she stopped herself. _Aside from Conrad the other eight men in that picture are dead. Way to go, Kate._

As if sensing her mortification Conrad replied, "It's quite alright. That was often something we made jokes about anyway, the cheap cologne and Galouise brand cigarettes stench being his trademark."

Conrad's index finger moved to Van Pelt's right, it settled on a tall, wiry man with a slightly grown in flat top haircut just slightly visible beneath the brim of his black kepi, "_Sergent _Ian Laposte, from the United Kingdom. He was an ex-corrections officer at Borstal prison who had undergone a nasty divorce before joining the Legion. He was always regarded as the complete legionnaire, a professional soldier through and through. Didn't have the best regard for his ex-wife but loved his two daughters like nothing else."

"I can't think of very many divorced people who have much regard for their exes." Kate commented.

Conrad's index finger moved to Depuis' immediate left, landing on a stocky man in a black kepis. His face was almost cherubic in its appearance. "_Sergent _Henri Leboulletier, from France. We always called him 'Baby Face' because he looked so damn young. He was from the Legion's 1st Foreign Cavalry Regiment, a formation that rides about in wheeled armored personnel carriers."

"I was wondering why he looks on the round shaped side." Kate replied.

Kate recognized Conrad standing on the extreme left of Depuis, and followed the movement of his index finger down to a black man wearing a white kepis. The man was on the leaner side of the fence.

"That's _Caporal _Putman Livingston, from the British Virgin Islands we called 'Chocolat'. He used to be a tennis instructor at a resort before he left over a woman. He had a year left on his contract." Conrad replied sadly.

"Did he ever get the chance to tell her anything?" Kate asked.

"Honestly I don't know, but I do have the last letter he wrote to her. He wanted me to deliver it if he didn't make it." Conrad replied.

"Did you deliver it?" Kate asked.

"I haven't yet. I intend to do so, but I'm just not sure what to say. I do want to honor Putman's last request." Conrad replied.

Conrad's index finger moved to Putman's right, settling on a tanned Latin fellow with a slight stubble on his face. "_Legionnaire _Lorenzo Rocha, from Brazil. We called him RR or Renzo. He taught me some Brazilian Jiu Jitsu."

"I'm sure he would've appreciated that triangle choke you pulled off yesterday." Kate replied.

"He actually pulled that maneuver off on me several times." Conrad chuckled, "When we'd train in hand to hand combat."

Conrad's finger moved to Rocha's right, where a stocky fellow with a nearly shaved head stood.

"_Legionnaire _Radoslav 'Ski the Pole' Wiersbowski, from Poland. We also called him 'Ski Pole'. He never really spoke much, which led people to sometimes think he wasn't an especially intelligent sort." Conrad replied, before adding with a wry grin, "Off duty he was always challenging any comers to a game of chess where he often trounced said comers."

"The hidden chess champion, nice." Kate commented.

"He always had a small travel chess set on him." Conrad replied, "and he'd always have it out next to the radio set he would be manning."

Conrad's finger slid to the right, settling on a lean, suntanned fellow with a mustache. "_Legionnaire _Leon Peralta, from Argentina, rounded out our team. He was an adept scrounger, capable of finding damn near anything."

Kate saw a slightly ironic grin on Conrad's face as he spoke again, "I still remember the trip to Africa, when our aircraft was delayed. We were stuck out on a runway in Sigonella, sitting under an awning. Laposte grumbled about how he could've used a drink then I saw Peralta grin suddenly and excuse himself. A half hour later he came trotting back with nine bottles of cold Kronenberg. God knows where he managed to find them."

With a sigh Conrad intoned, "Resquiescant In Pace."

_My God. _Kate thought before she replied, "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't kill any of them, but I do appreciate your sympathy." Conrad replied gently.

"I can't imagine how you must feel." Kate replied softly, "There are quite a few people in the Secret Service that are almost family to me."

"In many ways rank and nationality among my teammates in _Commando Depuis _was transcended in ways bigger Legion formations never did." Conrad replied, "Almost all adviser teams have similar stories."

"So why did you join?" Kate asked.

"You mean the adviser teams? I volunteered because where else does a relatively junior man get such an opportunity to lead forces many times larger than a _Caporal-Chef _is generally entrusted." Conrad replied.

"No, I mean the French Foreign Legion." Kate replied.

"When I was enlisting in Fort de Nogent, in Paris, the cadre showed us a short video. In it one recruit asks another his reason for enlisting, and the second recruit pulls a knife and stabs him to death. The video concluded with a warning to respect the privacy of ones mates." Conrad replied, "It educated recruits, even if most of us didn't speak French at the time, that it's best not to inquire too deeply on a fellow legionnaire's past unless the man volunteers the information."

_Ok. The past is definitely a sore subject for this guy. _Kate thought to herself. _Better to switch topics._

"Your family?" Kate remarked at the second photograph.

"Yes."

Kate looked at the photo, recognizing a younger Conrad straightaway. The family was wearing their Sunday best, suits and ties for the men and dresses for the women. The photo showed Conrad was standing beside a dark haired, stocky middle aged man with graying black hair and a black suit, a small gold US Navy SEAL trident was visible on the man's right lapel.

To the man's left was a slender woman with jet black hair in a white and blue sundress. And to the woman's right was a tall, lean bodied youth with dark brown hair in a gray suit. To Conrad's left side stood a shorter boy who stood to the right of an old woman in a floral print dress. A large German Shepherd, sitting up between Conrad's mother and father finished the picture.

Conrad's finger slid to the stocky middle aged man first, "We took this photo in Easter of my senior year of high school. That's my Dad. He was a Navy SEAL in Vietnam and served as a Navy Diver after the Vietnam War. He retired as the Master Diver of the Mayport Dive Locker while I was still in the Legion."

Conrad pointed out his mother next, "That's my Mom. She's an ER physician by trade. I remember she was actually considering joining the Navy as a physician before I was born. The running joke in the family is that Dad didn't want to salute her."

Kate couldn't help but laugh.

Conrad's finger slid to the tall, lean bodied boy, "That's my brother, Michael. He's five years younger than me and from his last letter he's working in the corporate world for Anheuser Busch. He's an avid outdoorsman, surfer, and skier."

"Didn't know you could ski in Florida." Kate quipped.

"He works in New York now, from the last email I got from him." Conrad replied.

His finger slid over to the boy, about ten years old, "My younger brother, David. Like you he's the baby of the family."

"Hey!" Kate protested.

Conrad chuckled, "I thought that would get a rise out of you."

Kate fixed him with a mock glare.

Conrad pointed to the old woman, "My grandmother. She immigrated from France in 1957 and she worked as a journalist till she retired in the 1980s."

"Your grandfather was ok with her working outside the house?" Kate asked, "That's unusual for the 1950s."

"She was widowed when my grandfather didn't return from Indochina." Conrad replied.

She saw Conrad slide the third photo to her. This one was a black and white photograph of a dark haired man wearing a beret and the three toned camouflage uniform of the French airborne forces. Slung over his right shoulder was a MAT-49 submachine gun.

"My grandfather on my mother's side, _Capitaine _Emil Renard." Conrad replied.

"Handsome fellow." Kate remarked.

"He was part of the GCMA in the 1950s." Conrad replied.

"GCMA?" Kate asked.

"It's a French acronym that stands for _Groupement de Commandos Mixtes Aéroportés_," Conrad replied, before adding, "Roughly translates as Composite Airborne Commando Group. Basically they were French military personnel sent into the hills and deltas to train and arm local tribes against the Viet Minh."

"He was killed in action?"

"Not that simple." Conrad replied, a stony growl in his voice, "After the 1954 battle of Dien Bien Phu several of these men, stranded in the northern regions of Vietnam, were simply abandoned. With dwindling ammunition and fading radios they were condemned to slow deaths as Communist hunter-killer teams closed in."

Conrad took a deep breath before continuing, "I recall hearing a story of a pilot flying along the border with Vietnam two years after Dien Bien Phu hearing the radio call of a French soldier from the jungle below cursing them for not dropping ammunition so he could die like a man."

Kate sat in stunned silence as Conrad continued, "_Grand-mère_ never forgot the loss, nor the betrayal of the French government. It's why she left France behind with my mother and uncles in tow."

_Like grandfather like grandson. _Kate thought as she mulled over Conrad's last tour in the French Foreign Legion. _The French advisor teams working with local forces in different African countries helped blunt several COBRA actions, but they also took some losses._

The rest of breakfast passed in a relatively peaceful silence. And afterward Kate went to her room, intending to listen to her portable CD player for a couple of minutes before a tour of the G.I. Joe motorpool.

She went to listen to the compilation CD that Tim had made for her as an early Valentine's Day gift only to find her CD player wasn't working. She checked the battery compartment only to find it empty.

_What the heck? Where did my batteries go? _Kate thought.

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
****Roadblock, Beach Head, Cross Country  
****19 February 2002, 0845**

"Roadblock!" Beach Head said as he stomped out of his office, heading over to his fellow Joe in a manner just slightly reminscent of an enraged grizzly bear.

"What's going on Beach Head?" Roadblock asked.

"I need to talk to you...now!" Beach Head glowered.

"I can see that without a doubt. But what is it you want to talk to me about?" Roadblock replied.

"It's that kid of yours." Beach Head began, without preamble, "He's a menace. A menace I tell you!"

"What has the kid done?" Roadblock asked.

"I saw him near my CD player. Do you know what he did!?" Beach Head demanded.

"He switched your CDs from the Spice Girls to Metallica?" Roadblock quipped.

"Ha ha ha ha." Beach Head snapped, "No, he didn't. He swiped the batteries from it. And from a flashlight as well as an electric pencil sharpener."

"Why would he take batteries?" Roadblock said, brow furrowing with confusion.

"Because he's a menace, that's why!" Beach Head countered, "A menace that should be locked away!"

"Look, Beach Head, the boy needs to be with someone who will care for him and guide him." Roadblock replied, "Someone who will accept him for who he is. Someone who will keep an eye on him every second of the day."

"He's still a menace!" Beach Head snapped, arms snapping into the air.

"Hey guys..." Cross Country began as he headed their way, his Game Boy held in his left hand, "Have you seen Mainframe or Dial Tone around? My Game Boy's busted."

"Check the batteries." Beach Head grumbled.

"That can't be. I just put new ones in yesterday." Cross Country replied, then snapped the compartment open, finding it empty, "Hey, you're right..."

"I'll have a talk with the kid." Roadblock replied, before walking back to their quarters.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Roadblock, Conrad, Kate, and Toad  
****19 February 2002, 0904**

Roadblock headed back to the quarters he and Todd shared, running into Conrad and Kate who had just returned from a tour of the G.I. Joe motor pool.

As Roadblock hurried past them, Conrad turned to Kate and said, "Is it just me or was Roadblock unusually terse just now."

"It wasn't." Kate replied, "I noticed it too."

Both agents promptly followed Roadblock into the building, up the stairs and to the apartment he and Todd shared. The trio got inside and to Todd's room just as the boy was putting something into one of the drawers on his dresser.

"Todd, I want to talk to you." Roadblock began.

"Okay." Todd replied.

"What did you put in your drawer?" Roadblock replied.

"This drawer?" Todd asked.

"Yes, that drawer." Roadblock replied, pointing at it.

Todd complied and Roadblock couldn't believe his eyes. And neither could Conrad or Kate. The drawer was filled to capacity with batteries of various kinds.

"Is this where you've been putting the batteries you've been stealing?" Roadblock asked.

"I didn't steal them," Todd protested, "I borrowed them."

"Oh, so you borrow the batteries and stick them in this drawer?" Roadblock replied.

"No," Todd replied. As he spoke he pulled a shoe box from under his bed, crammed to capacity with batteries. He did so again and again. Then he opened his closet which had several more shoe boxes full of batteries.

"There must be hundreds of batteries in this room." Roadblock commented.

"More like thousands, and from all over the base. Impressive scrounging." Conrad replied. _Peralta would've turned green with envy at that feat._

Roadblock shot a glare at Conrad.

"Five thousand." Todd said proudly.

"You borrowed five thousand batteries from all around this base?" Roadblock asked.

"Give or take a few dozen." Todd replied.

"Todd, you and I need to have a little talk, I think." Roadblock said sternly, "Namely about why you're taking batteries from all over the base and storing them in your room?"

"Because you and Psyche-Out talked to me about taking money and you told me it was bad for me to take money," Todd fidgeted, "You told me not to do it anymore and I haven't! I've been real good about that!"

"I see…" Roadblock began.

"I haven't taken any money, Roadblock! I swear! Not one dime!"

"Yes Todd, I know." Roadblock replied.

"No money. None."

"I believe you."

"Zero. Nada. Zip…"

"Ok, I get the message. Now why is it bad to steal money?"

"Because...because you don't need me to steal money for you. You can take care of me without me stealing money." Todd replied, regarding Roadblock with wide eyes.

"I see…" Roadblock replied, "Let me get this straight, you don't take money because I don't need money. But you do take batteries?"

"Right! You don't need money!" Todd replied, before grabbing a handful of batteries from his pocket and held them up before Roadblock, as if they were an offering, "You need batteries!"

_What a crazy kid. _Kate thought.

"Okay…" Roadblock began, head in his hands, "I see your logic, flawed as it is. Just out of curiousity...why do I need 5000 batteries?"

"Because you can be prepared when disaster strikes!" Todd replied, "There are horrible dangers in this world! A typhoon could hit us at any moment! What if there's a typhoon or something?"

"Oh boy," Roadblock groaned, "Todd, I think it's time for you and I to see Psyche-Out. I think we should have another nice little chat."

"I did something bad, didn't I?" Todd said, crestfallen.

"Oh yeah," Roadblock sighed, "And a bit disturbing. Let's go have a nice talk, shall we?"

"Do you want me to bring the batteries?" Todd asked as they left.

"No, I think we'll leave the batteries here for now." Roadblock replied.

"I put some in my pocket just in case." Todd replied.

"That's nice." Roadblock said.

Kate took the time to mouth the words, "Psyche-Out?"

"Our base psychologist." Roadblock replied.

_Note to self, get Psyche-Out to describe some of his sessions with Todd, at least in general terms. _Kate thought.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	14. Babies, Birds and Delgados, Part One

Babies, Birds, and Delgado Family Disputes, Part One

Disclaimer: Same as before.

Author's Note: The characters of Brittany, Quinn, and Daria were created by Red Witch.

* * *

**The Pit, Medical Center  
****Psyche-Out, Beach Head, Scarlett, Roadblock  
****19 February 2002, 1315**

Psyche-Out would find Roadblock sipping coffee with Beach Head and Scarlett.

"Okay, I think he's figured it out by now." Psyche-Out sighed, "With three hours of work between the two of us to drill that into him."

"I'm sorry I made all those dents in your wall." Roadblock said.

"With your head." Beach Head quipped, "You've got to have a skull as hard as concrete to want to raise that boy."

"Beach Head!" Scarlett admonished.

"The kid drives me crazy sometimes." Roadblock replied.

"Well," Psyche-Out replied, "At least you stopped banging your head before you got a concussion."

"Only because you made me leave the room," Roadblock replied, "Why would he do something like that?"

"I think the boy uses stealing to cover up some emotional issues." Psyche-Out replied.

"I think the kid's nuts." Beach Head snapped.

"Beach Head!" Scarlett admonished, "I wouldn't call him that. What did he do anyway?"

"He stole 5000 batteries from all around the base for me." Roadblock said.

"Oh-kay, I think I'll call that a little odd." Scarlett replied.

"I've come to the conclusion," Roadblock said with a sigh, "That the boy has a bit of confusion."

"Well," Psyche-Out added, "It's obvious the boy's got a problem with stealing. In fact he probably has some form of kleptomania."

"PROBABLY has kleptomania?" Roadblock said.

"He's nuts!" Beach Head declared.

"Todd is not nuts." Psyche-Out stated.

"I mean you, Spaced-Out!" Beach Head snapped, "You counseling that little lunatic? What a laugh! It's like the Mad Hatter counseling Screwy the Screwloose Loon!"

"So where's the kid?" Roadblock said, "You didn't leave him in your office did you?"

"He'll probably steal the light bulbs next." Beach Head quipped.

"No, I thought you might want a break from the kid for a few hours so Shipwreck said he'd…" Psyche Out began.

"Shipwreck?" Roadblock exclaimed, "You left him alone with _**SHIPWRECK!**_"

"The Napoleon of Nuts if there ever was one!" Beach Head replied.

"I hope Althea's there," Scarlett replied, "She's the only sane one in the family."

"And believe me that's a frightening statement." Beach Head replied.

"Well I suppose it couldn't hurt if I left him there for an hour," Roadblock replied, "I mean how much damage could he do there? Don't answer that."

"Agents Hart and Todd are with him as well." Psyche-Out said, walking out of the room, "And we can have a talk later about his progress."

"Where are you going?" Beach Head asked.

"I've got to go buy some batteries. You never know when disaster will strike." Psyche-Out replied.

Roadblock sat there. "Maybe I'll pick him up in two hours."

* * *

_Agent Phillips,_

_I'll clarify my last few reports with a single sentence. Yes it's all true. I can't possibly make any of this up._

_From what I've observed Roadblock is making progress with the kid minus a few setbacks. Of most recent vintage involving the theft of 5000 batteries from all around the base. The base psychologist, Psyche-Out, is doing his best and actually both myself and Agent Todd are going to have a chat with him. _

_Of late I observe Agent Todd is an entirely trustworthy individual. She seems genuinely ok with working with us regarding the Tolansky Case. I have no misgivings about her whatsoever._

_Agent Hart_

* * *

**The Pit, Delgado Residence  
****Shipwreck, Todd, Kate, and Conrad  
****19 February 2002, 1317**

Todd felt the wind rush through his hair as the Army jeep drove down the road, happily he said, "It's real nice of you to let me come over."

"Well you and my daughter have been friends for a while now," Shipwreck replied as he drove.

Conrad leaned over to whisper something in Kate's ear, "I think this is a good development for the kid."

"It's only natural she should have you over." Shipwreck continued, "Can't think of why she hasn't invited you over before. Ah, here we are."

They pulled into a cul-de-sac where a medium sized gray building with a boat on cinderblocks on the front lawn stood sentinel as the only house in the cul-de-sac.

"It's not fancy but it's home sweet home." Shipwreck said as he parked the jeep.

_Looks normal enough, minus the boat. _Kate thought as they stepped out of the vehicle and towards the house.

"Welcome to Casa Delgado!" Shipwreck said and flung the door open.

As soon as Shipwreck opened the door he was tackled in the face by a green plumed parrot with a yellow plumed head.

_Ok, the parrot's a little weird but…_Kate thought.

"AWWWWKKK! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? POLLY WANTS A PSYCHIATRIST!"

Shipwreck spit out a mouthful of green and yellow feathers before commenting, "Calm down birdbrain, I was only gone for fifteen minutes!"

_Ok. Parrots are known to talk, but I've never heard of one demanding a psychiatrist before. _Kate thought.

"What did they do this time? Are they playing with explosives again?" Shipwreck asked.

"Wait, did you just say _**explosives**_? And who is he talking about?" Kate yelped with surprise.

"Worse!" the bird called out, flapping around the room in circles, "MAKEUP!"

With a sigh Shipwreck said, "Don't mind Polly. He has a nervous condition."

"How do you think I got it!? Oh, I know, by living in this nuthouse!" Polly said as he flapped around the room.

"How does a male parrot have a female name?" Conrad asked.

"Forget the gender mix up," Kate replied, "I'm wondering what Shipwreck's talking about for one…"

"That bird can talk? Cool!" Todd commented.

"Polly is a very smart bird." Shipwreck replied.

"If Polly was really smart, Polly would've joined the circus! It's quieter!" Polly screeched as he flapped around.

As they walked past the foyer and into the living room, which, like every other room in the house was decorated with a cheerful nautical motif Kate noticed a large bell mounted to the nearest wall.

Shipwreck went to ring the bell and shouted, "GIRLS GET IN HERE! WE HAVE A GUEST!"

Three nearly identical looking ten year old girls walked into the room just then, clad in identical pink tops and blue skirts. They had long black hair and blue eyes and minus their hairstyles they couldn't be told apart.

"I'm Daria," the triplet with the ponytail on the right said.

"I'm Quinn," the triplet with the ponytail on the left said.

"I'm Brittany," the third triplet with pigtails said.

"This is Todd," Shipwreck replied, and then indicated the two agents with him, "And this is Agent Hart and Agent Todd, all three of whom you've heard all about."

Then, with a raised eyebrow Shipwreck turned to the girls, who giggled, "Ok, that's enough. Now what did you do to Polly _**this **_time? You better not have been using him in one of your experiments again."

"We were just playing house," Quinn said innocently.

_Ok, they seem normal enough. _Kate thought as she looked at the three girls.

"Oh Lord that's even worse." Shipwreck replied, rolling his eyes.

He turned to Conrad, Kate, and Todd and said, "The girls are very smart, but they tend to be a bit hyper at times."

Shipwreck paused for a moment before saying, "Wait a minute! What about your brother?"

"We put him down for his nap." Brittany said.

_Why does the way she said that make me nervous? _Kate thought.

"And no, we didn't use duct tape. We could never do that to our brother." Brittany added.

"You used it on your last babysitter." Shipwreck countered.

"That was completely justified and you know it." Quinn replied.

"It was Beach Head after all." Brittany added.

Conrad chuckled only for Kate to elbow him in the ribs, fixing him with a glare.

"What, I happen to find it funny that these three girls used duct tape on Beach Head." Conrad replied.

"Oh God you're going native..." Kate replied.

"Oh yeah," Shipwreck conceded to his daughters' point.

"Nice parenting." Kate remarked.

"Look, I'm going to try to give Polly some Valium so he gets off the ceiling." Shipwreck said as he grabbed a broom from a nearby closet, before turning to the girls, "Why don't you show Todd your room, and be nice about it. I mean it."

"AWK! Polly want a psychiatrist! Forget it! Polly want some grain alcohol!" Polly said as he clung to the ceiling.

"Well," Conrad said, "We can either watch Shipwreck try to talk a severely disturbed parrot off the ceiling or venture off into the dark and frightening unknown."

"Dark and frightening unknown?" Kate commented.

"The Triplets' room." Conrad said, "The bedroom of three of preteen girls has got to be a dark and frightening unknown."

"Conrad," Kate laughed, "They're three preteen girls. How dangerous could their room possibly be?"

"I gather from your response, _mademoiselle_, we are about to find out." Conrad replied, "And between the two of us my inner alarms are screeching louder than our fine green and evidently alcoholic friend on the ceiling..."

"Come. On. Bird." Shipwreck said as he stood up on one of the arms the couch on his toes, holding the broom, trying to get the bird clinging to the ceiling down.

"Conrad, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about..." Kate replied as she headed up the stairs, Conrad on her heels.

"Well, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, "My gut instinct is telling me there is a lot to worry about."

"Conrad, this isn't Africa and the French Foreign Legion." Kate replied as she opened the door to the Triplet's room, "I'm sure there's nothing..."

"AGGGHHH!" came a scream as Todd hopped out of the room, narrowly avoiding a collision with Kate, baby Claudius in his arms and heading for the staircase.

Conrad smirked as Kate threw herself to the floor to duck just as Todd hopped over her. "Come back here with our dolly!" the Triplets shouted and Kate barely managed to roll out of the way as the Triplets chased Todd down the stairs.

"What just happened!?" Kate said as Conrad helped her stand back up.

"It appears that Todd was carrying baby Claudius dressed up in a pink frilly dress and what looked like bows in his hair." Conrad replied.

"I saw that!" Kate snapped, "I'm just trying to figure out what caused that?"

Kate heard the sounds of the triplets chasing Todd through the house downstairs. "Something tells me that we'll never know, but we're also heading right into a fair amount of zaniness." Conrad quipped.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	15. Babies, Birds, and Delgados, Part Two

Babies, Birds, and Delgado Family Disputes, Part Two

Disclaimer: Same as before…

* * *

**The Pit, Delgado Residence  
****Todd Tolansky, Quinn, Daria and Brittany Delgado  
****19 February 2002, 1345**

"Come on." Quinn said, taking Todd's hand and leading him upstairs to a their room.

_This has got to be the strangest room I've ever seen._Todd thought as he walked in. _It looks like someone took parts of Dexter's Laboratory, painted them pink and shoved them into a little room crammed with stuffed toys._

"This is our room where we sleep and play," Quinn began.

"And do our experiments," Brittany grinned.

"That's nice," Todd said with a sigh, looking around the room.

His eyes fell upon a picture on one of three desks. It was of a blue skinned woman with jet black hair.

"Is that your mom?" Todd asked.

"Yup," Quinn said, "Before she went away."

"She didn't die!" Brittany chided, "Stop making it sound so dramatic!"

Daria explained to Todd, "Our mom ran off with some guy from Atlantis."

"You mean Atlanta?" Todd said, brow furrowed, "Like down south?"

"No, Atlantis, as in under the sea." Daria explained.

"O-kay…" Todd replied, "So what do you like to…OW!"

Todd yelped as electrical shock flowed through him, "What did you do that for?"

He rubbed his bottom shortly after the shock, as Brittany held a taser in her hand, she advanced on him and said, "I wanted to see how well you conduct electricity."

"Hey! I'm telling!" Daria shouted, "Daddy told us not to use that on guests!"

"Yeah!" Todd replied, only to find himself dodging a jet of flame.

"Of course he didn't say anything about fire…" Daria said, with a smile.

"You girls are seriously whacko!" Todd replied.

"His reflexes are good," Daria noted, "Take note of that Quinn."

"Sisters I believe we must do further experimentation." Quinn said.

"I'm not letting you do anything!" Todd said, and hopped out of the way.

"Maybe he wants to play with our dolly." Brittany said, picking something off one of the three beds.

_Oh. My. God. _Todd thought as he saw in a frilly pink dress with bows in his hair. There was some makeup splattered on his face.

"What are you doing to that kid, yo!" Todd shouted, grabbing hold of Claudius, "You trying to scar him for life!?"

"Give me back my dolly!" Brittany pouted.

"No way!" Todd shouted, "Come on Little C, I gotta get you outta here."

The door opened as Todd hopped towards it and he found himself face to face with Kate who promptly threw herself on the floor to avoid yet another collision with Todd Tolansky.

"Come back here with our dolly!" the Triplets shouted as they chased Todd, running towards Shipwreck who had only just managed to get Polly off the ceiling.

"What's going on!?" Shipwreck demanded.

Todd held up the baby and Shipwreck gulped, "Yeesh! Run kid run!"

He and Todd raced away from the Triplets as fast as their legs could carry them, and towards Claudius' bedroom. As soon as they got inside Shipwreck locked the door behind him.

"I can't leave them alone for one minute." Shipwreck groaned.

"Don't worry about it Shipwreck," Todd said, as he wiped away the makeup, "I'll fix it."

"There are some outfits over there," Shipwreck said, pointing as he barred the door. Todd nodded and went to change Claudius' outfit.

With a sigh he added, "Ever since their mother...took off they've been impossible."

"Okay. Now that's better!" Todd replied, as he surveyed his handiwork, "Check it out! Now Little C is stylin'."

Claudius now wore a yellow shirt with mini jeans that were a bit too large for him together with a baseball cap turned backwards, sunglasses and some gold jewelry.

"My son the future rap star…" Shipwreck said, eyes rolling.

Claudius giggled as Shipwreck went over to fix his clothing, "Come here Claudie."

"How did he get the name Claudius anyway?" Todd asked.

"Claudius was the name of a great Roman emperor," Shipwreck began, "It was also the name of my great uncle who was the navigator on the _RMS Titanic_. Let's just say nautical disasters run in the family."

_Oh-kay._ Todd thought.

"There we are," Shipwreck said, as he finished straightening up Claudius' clothing.

"Oh, before I forget, do you know your kids have a flamethrower?" Todd replied.

"Oh no!" Shipwreck groaned, handing Claudius to Todd and opening the door, "I thought I got rid of that thing. Girls! Okay, line up, I want to….ACK!"

* * *

**The Pit, Delgado Residence  
****Conrad and Kate  
****19 February 2002, 1352**

"Girls! Okay, line up, I want to….ACK!" Shipwreck's voice echoed up the stairs where Conrad had helped Kate to her feet.

The shout had been accompanied by the sound of hissing air. Conrad and Kate looked down the stairs, and then at each other before running down the stairs just in time to see Shipwreck covered in whipped cream.

With a glare at the three giggling girls he headed into the kitchen with a whip cream spray can of his own.

"That's it! You are in for it now! Take that!" He shouted and sprayed the girl's with whipped cream.

"EEEEEE!" The girls screamed and retaliated right as Kate and Conrad ran down the stairs.

"Conrad! Look out!" Kate shouted as Quinn sprayed whipped cream. Kate jumped between Conrad and Quinn and promptly caught a spray of whipped cream in the face.

"Now, _petite filles_, you leave me only one choice." Conrad began, calmly as he strode into the kitchen, returning with two cans of whipped cream.

With his thumbs he popped the lids off of each can, brandishing them like an Old West _pistolero _and spraying whipped cream towards the Triplets.

"Kate! Catch!" Conrad said, tossing one can to Kate who promptly caught it.

_Oh dear God this family is insane! _Kate thought as she ducked behind the sofa, before Brittany could nail her with a jet of whipped cream.

Daria sprayed Todd with some whipped cream only for Conrad to spray her. Then Brittany sprayed Conrad with her own can.

Despite herself Kate couldn't help but laugh, and shot a spray of whipped cream at Brittany only to have Daria and Quinn converge on her. Then Shipwreck and Conrad turned their own cans on Daria and Quinn.

Claudius giggled with glee in Todd's arms as everyone in the house ran all around the place, spraying each other with whipped cream.

"AKKK!" Todd shouted, "Stop it with the whipped cream already! AGH! OK! I warned you!"

Todd spit a small quantity of slime at Quinn.

"DADDY! TODD SLIMED ME!" Quinn shouted.

"Impeccable marksmanship." Conrad quipped.

"Don't encourage him!" Kate glared as she wiped a bit of whipped cream off of her face.

Meanwhile Shipwreck snapped back to Quinn, "Well, you shouldn't have squirted him with whipped cream, then."

"Go get 'em kid!" Shipwreck shouted.

"Nice parenting!" Kate snapped only to narrowly dodge a squirt of whipped cream.

Todd smirked and spat slime onto the three girls. "That's for the flamethrower!"

He set Claudius down, grabbing another can of whipped cream, "And this is for the electric shocks!"

Claudius squealed with delight, getting whipped cream everywhere.

"What's going on here now?" Althea shouted as she opened the front door, and observing the chaos added, "Oh no, Dad, what did you do this time?"

"They started it!" Shipwreck pointed at the Triplets.

"I see you guys are settling disputes in the traditional Delgado manner," Althea groaned.

Reverting to a stern parental figure, Shipwreck admonished, "I want you girls to apologize for how you treated Todd! He's a guest in our house! You should be ashamed of the way you treated him!"

"We're sorry." The girls apologized.

"Now first I want you girls to clean up this mess. And I want the flamethrower and any little weapon you've built right now. After you clean up this mess we'll discuss your punishment. Understand?" Shipwreck replied.

"Yes sir," they said.

"Althea why don't you help Todd get cleaned up and hang out with him for a bit?" Shipwreck said.

"Come on, Todd." Althea said, leading him towards the bathroom.

* * *

To Be Continued…


	16. Babies, Birds, and Delgados, Part Three

Babies, Birds, and Delgado Family Disputes, Part Three

Disclaimer: Same as before. Again, many thanks to Red Witch for creating the Misfitverse for all of us to write in. The idea of the Delgados resolving family disputes with whipcream fights was her idea.

* * *

**The Pit, Delgado Household  
Todd Tolansky and Althea Delgado  
19 February 2002, 1433**

Althea handed Todd a towel as soon as they were in the bathroom. With a sigh she began, "This is why I never invited you here."

"They ain't that bad." Todd replied as he wiped some whipped cream off of his face.

He laughed and said, "Hey back when I lived with the Brotherhood we used to do this kind of stuff all the time."

Todd looked away uncomfortably after he had brought up the Brotherhood.

"You don't owe them anything, you know." Althea replied.

"I know that," Todd said, with an audible gulp, "But sometimes I still remember the good times, when I thought we were a family. I miss them and it hurts."

"Yeah, I know how that is." Althea replied, "Come on, let's go in my room."

Todd followed Althea towards her bedroom. _Well this is the opposite of the Triplets' bedroom. Posters of all kinds of boy bands. A radio. Bean bag chairs. CDs on the desk. It looks so normal._

"I guess you kinda figured out why my mom left, huh?" Althea said as she plopped down onto one beanbag, "She didn't want anything more to do with this crazy family!"

"That can't be true," Todd said, shaking his head as he sat down in the beanbag across from her.

"It is," Althea sighed, "And we're not that nuts! I mean, we are, but in a good way. I mean it's not like my Dad beats us or anything. Although I wish he'd give the triplets a smack every now and then! When all's said and done he's a good dad."

"Your sisters said she left for some guy under the sea…" Todd began gently.

"That was just an excuse," Althea snapped, "She didn't really wanna get away from my dad. She wanted to get away...she wanted to get away from us."

"Look, if you don't wanna talk about it…" Todd began.

"No, I don't mind telling you the story." Althea began, "I'm just surprised you haven't heard it already, what with the way gossip flows around here."

Todd said nothing, he had heard the story but decided saying nothing was the best thing at the moment.

"My mom used to be a Cobra soldier who volunteered for some genetic experiment. She was supposed to be an amphibious stormtrooper. But something went wrong and she couldn't survive out of the water. She got sick of being a lab rat and escaped and my Dad and the rest of the Joe team saved her. For a while she lived on an island so she could be safe from Cobra. My Dad visited there whenever he could and one day she and my Dad got together and I wound up the result. So she married and moved in with him. They got a mini-aquarium so she could rest and even figured a way that she could stay out of water for a while, other than wearing a diving helmet full of water. Life was pretty good, I guess. Even when the triplets were born. She took care of us and even did some missions with the Joe team. And then just about over a year ago...well Claudius was born. Dad took his mutation well, but my Mom…"

Althea paused for a moment, taking a couple deep breaths before she continued, "It's not like Claudius could help it! It was just the way he was born. Then there was this mission that had the Joes contact Atlantis...don't ask about the details, they're classified. Well needless to say my Mom ended up being a liaison to the Atlantean nation for obvious reasons. She met this rich guy and…"

"I think I can guess the rest." Todd sighed, "Why didn't she take you guys with her? Did you want to stay with Claudius?"

"More like she didn't want us," Althea snapped, "I heard her say that."

"But she must have loved you or something?" Todd replied.

"I thought she did too," Althea coldly replied, "I guess she loved her new life more."

"Maybe your mom had problems or something?" Todd gently offered, "Maybe it wasn't because of that. Maybe it was something she couldn't handle…"

"She couldn't handle being the mom of freaks!" Althea snapped, fighting back tears, "And she was a mutant too! Logically it should've been my dad that should've dumped us! But then again logic's never been his strong suit."

"At least your father loves you," Todd replied, "That's more than my dad ever did. My dad didn't want me either."

"I guess we both know what it feels like to be dumped, huh?" Althea replied.

"Yeah," Todd sighed, "But at least you ain't alone. You got your brothers and sisters to keep you company."

"Some company," Althea groaned.

"But you love them, right? They make you feel less alone, and it makes you feel good bossing them around and stuff. Makes you feel important and not totally helpless." Todd replied.

Althea regarded Todd and asked, "When did you get this insightful?"

Todd shrugged his shoulders and said, "I dunno, I just get to thinking why people do what they do. I mean you and your dad yell at each other, but you don't have any hate or malice in your tone. Believe me, I know that tone. You guys are so comfortable expressing yourselves. You don't hold nothin' back. You ain't afraid of him and he ain't afraid of you. That's how it should be between a parent and his kid. You guys really love each other."

With a sigh Althea replied, "You're the first person I feel I can talk about this with. I dunno, I'm just so comfortable with you, like I can tell you anything. Ever meet someone like that?"

"Yeah." Todd replied, before looking at Althea, "I do."

"I really don't feel like talking about this anymore." Althea replied.

"Okay so tell me something else," Todd said cheerfully, "Like about that spaceship I'm not supposed to know about."

"Well...that's classified," Althea said with a smirk.

"Then how come you know about it?" Todd replied.

Althea maintained her smirk.

"Aw come on! It ain't like I'm gonna take joyride in it or anything!" Todd replied.

"Couldn't even if you wanted to," Althea replied, "Can't fly anymore. Let's just say one of the geniuses on base accidentally broke it. Maybe someday I'll tell you more about it."

"Why does everyone around here know all the good stuff except me?" Todd asked with a pout and folding his arms.

"You haven't been here that long." Althea replied.

"Hey kid," Shipwreck said, poking his head into the room, "Roadblock's here."

"Well, there's my ride." Todd replied, "I hope he's not still mad at me."

"No, just concerned about you." Roadblock replied as he walked into the room, "I heard you had an interesting time here."

"That's one way of putting it," Althea quipped, before turning to Todd, "I'm sorry how my insane sisters treated you."

The foursome walked out of Althea's room, and down the stairs to the front room. The triplets were still cleaning up and Claudius was in his playpen, licking whipped cream off his flippers.

"Well Roadblock and I have been talking," Shipwreck began, "We decided tomorrow you don't have to work in the cafeteria."

Shipwreck the pointed to the triplets, "You three will take his place."

"That's child labor!" Quinn snapped.

Althea and Todd gave evil laughs and Quinn glared at them.

"Well maybe from now on when I tell you to be nice to guests you'll actually be nice to guests." Shipwreck replied.

"Todd, what do you we say to Shipwreck?" Roadblock prompted.

"Oh! Thank you very much for having me over at the house," Todd replied.

"Well it was nice having you here," Shipwreck replied.

"Can I come back sometime?" Todd asked.

"Are you serious?" Althea said, eyes widening.

"Come on down any time, Swabbie." Shipwreck replied, "Say goodbye to Todd everybody!"

"Bye Todd," the triplets said as Roadblock and Todd headed for the front door followed by Conrad and Kate.

"See ya tomorrow," Althea replied, "We've got swimming practice! Remember?"

"I remember," Todd replied, "Bye!"

"Bye bye!" Claudius giggled.

"So did you two have fun in your room?" Quinn snickered.

"Shut up plankton brain," Althea snapped, "We didn't do anything!"

"Don't bother your sister," Shipwreck replied, "Besides, we all know Althea isn't like that. When you three get to be her age, **_then_** I'll worry."

Shipwreck turned to Althea, "So he actually sounded like he had a good time today."

"Well he didn't run off screaming so I guess it went well," Althea replied as she plopped down onto the couch, "He even wants to come back."

"So you like him, huh?" Shipwreck smirked.

"He's kinda weird, but he's all right," Althea replied, "But okay. As a friend. Nothing more. It's not like I'm attracted to him in any way."

"Today I met the cutest boy," Daria read from a purple book, "His name is Todd Tolansky. He has these adorable yellowish eyes that are so wide and expressive! I'm so glad he's a mutant like me! I hope we get to hang out more!"

Where did you get that?" Althea paled, "She's making it up!"

"Someone's got a crush." Quinn teased.

"I do not!" Althea snapped.

"I had the best dream last night," Daria continued reading from the book, "I dreamed Todd and I were getting married and…"

"DARIA YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!" Althea screamed and started chasing her laughing sister around the living room.

Shipwreck doubled over, gripping his sides and laughing, "Oh yeah. This kid will fit into our family alright."

"DADDY!" Althea screamed.

The resulting whipped cream fight meant any cleaning on the part of the triplets was quickly rendered moot.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
Conrad Hart and Caitlin Todd  
19 February 2002, 1755**

Kate stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt and drying her hair with a towel.

"What a day…" Kate replied.

Conrad chuckled, from the kitchen table as he was typing away on his laptop, "Certainly was one interesting family."

"More like a demented Addams family." Kate quipped as she sat down across from Conrad at the table.

"You have to admit the whipped cream fight was entertaining." Conrad replied with a grin.

"Something tells me leaving **_that_** out of my report might be the best thing." Kate replied, flicking a strand of her still somewhat wet hair from off her forehead.

"Not exactly easy to sanitize a whipped cream fight…" Conrad began.

"More like whipped cream and slime fight, remember?" Kate replied.

"Vividly." Conrad replied, "In either case I think that while the Delgados are nuts they're good for Todd to be around."

"Nuts is putting it mildly." Kate replied, "Shipwreck is just insane with a capital I."

"Well this is true, but you can tell he loves those kids like nothing else." Conrad replied, "And the family holds nothing back from each other."

"They're practically psychotic...but it's not a bad thing." Kate replied.

"As I recall someone's three older brothers were practically psychotic as well." Conrad quipped.

Kate laughed lightly, "Well yes, but I think the triplets could give them a run for their money."

"I'll trust the expert on her own brothers on that one." Conrad quipped.

"Very funny." Kate replied.

"Hey, I didn't have practically insane older siblings." Conrad countered.

"Because you probably were the 'practically insane older sibling'?" Kate offered.

"I'll neither confirm nor deny that." Conrad replied with a toothy grin.

"You're weird, you know that?" Kate replied.

"I prefer enigmatic." Conrad countered.

Kate shook her head, "I think the words weird, eccentric, and downright strange are more accurate."

"I do trust a lawyer to be able to argue semantics." Conrad began, indicating the law school emblem on Kate's t-shirt, just above her right breast.

"I'm not a lawyer," Kate replied, "I attended a year of law school that felt like ten years in prison."

"So what prompted the career change from student lawyer to Secret Service Agent?" Conrad asked.

"Strapping on a gun and actually preventing problems instead of arguing over their aftermath in court." Kate replied, "Maybe like the mysterious reason for your chosing to join the French Foreign Legion."

Conrad replied, "It's a rather long story, honestly. And probably about as exciting as your first year of law school."

_I'm not totally sure I buy that._ Kate thought to herself, then noticed a small notice on her computer screen. An email from Tim.

* * *

_Kate,_

_I hope everything is going well over there. I'm honestly praying for you, especially knowing you're heading to Shipwreck's house._

_I miss you. Trading little glances across the office. Talking to each other at work before we sneak off and find one of our little 'spots' to actually be affectionate with each other. Or even getting to go to Mass together when our schedules allow._

_I can't wait till I'm off this Presidential Detail and we can be a lot more free about our relationship._

_\- Tim_

* * *

To Be Continued...


	17. We Belong to the Sea, Part One

We Belong to the Sea, Part One

Disclaimer: Same as before

* * *

**The Pit, Seaside Annex  
****Todd, Althea, Shipwreck, Conrad and Kate  
****20 February 2002, 0744**

"So what's going on today?" Kate asked as she, Conrad and Shipwreck stood on the shore in a small protected cove that was part of the Pit's seaside annex.

"Well, Althea and Todd are getting lessons in underwater attacks from Wetsuit, one of the SEALs here at the Pit." Shipwreck replied, "And you two I thought would appreciate some training in CQB on a ship."

"CQB?" Todd asked after he came out of the small bathroom/locker room that was nearby.

"Close Quarter Battle." Conrad supplied, "Basically combat at very short ranges, used in urban warfare and the like."

"Usually shooting inside buildings, but in this case just firing inside a ship." Kate replied.

Althea walked out of the ladies room just then, wearing a one piece blue and black bathing suit. Addressing Shipwreck she said, "Now please try not to cause any trouble today."

"I'll be good if you'll be good." Shipwreck replied.

"And how are you, _Monsieur _Todd?" Conrad asked.

"I've never swum in the ocean before," Todd began, tugging down on the sleeveless white t-shirt he was wearing, making sure that they covered the waistband of his orange swimming shorts.

"Really?" Shipwreck startled, "Why, swabbie, there's nothing like it! Once the smell of the sea gets in your blood, nothing can get it out. Isn't that right Wet Suit?"

Walking up to them was a muscular fellow wearing a blue wetsuit, the sleeves of the half unzipped suit tied around his waist. He wore a blue and gold t-shirt bearing the US Navy SEAL Trident.

"Nothing like it." Wet Suit said in agreement.

"Yeah, until you can find another job you can be lazy at." Beach Head grumbled as he walked by, in company with a fellow with slicked back red hair and a trim red beard and wearing a dark blue t-shirt and similar colored cargo pants. A holstered pistol hung in a holster strapped to his right thigh.

"Hey!" Shipwreck protested, "In my day I was the hardest working sailor to sail the Seven Seas!"

"You're nothing but a desk jockey now!" Beach Head snapped, "You gave up a life of action to lounge around on a desk all day!"

Kate noticed that the red haired fellow stood just on the outskirts of the conversation. _Commissioned officer, most definitely. Likely has some sort of law enforcement experience. I recognize that 'field interview' stance anywhere. _Kate thought.

"You know why I did," Shipwreck said with a dark look, "At least I didn't do it to further my career!"

Todd and Althea gave each other knowing looks, and Kate noticed that in her peripheral vision. Kate also noticed Conrad had a clear line of sight to this as well.

_Merde. _Conrad thought as he noticed Althea had a dark scowl on her face. _She looks like she's about to kill Beach Head. _

All of a sudden Althea's eyes sported a wicked gleam and an equally wicked smile.

Kate felt alarm bells going off in her head. _This isn't good. With her ninja skills…_

She unscrewed the lid off a water bottle and then the water came out in a column, forming itself into a ball. Todd looked like he was going to say something and then Althea put her index finger to her lips.

The small sphere of water flew through the air and drenched Beach Head from behind who turned around to glare at Althea.

"I knew you did that you little…" Beach Head began.

"Hey Beach Head," Wet Suit called, "Is that your jeep?"

"What?" Beach Head replied, turning around to see his jeep being driven away by Tunnel Rat and Big Lob who were laughing loudly.

"HEY STOP! STOP! GET BACK HERE YOU MANIACS!" Beach Head shouted as he chased the vehicle.

"How did you do that?" Todd asked Althea.

"I dunno," Althea replied, "I just do. I can manipulate water around me. Of course I can't just create a tidal wave out of nowhere, but when there's water around I can do anything with it. Create waves, make currents, that sort of stuff…"

"Cool." Todd replied.

"Well, be good kids." Shipwreck began, "And don't stray too far. Okay?"

"Bye Dad!" Althea waved as Shipwreck, Conrad, Kate and the red haired man headed off.

As they walked towards the ship that was moored by the pier the red haired man introduced himself.

"Sorry I hadn't introduced myself," the man spoke, "Lieutenant Colonel David Lane, or Surefire for my codename. I'm an MP by trade."

"Kate Todd, Secret Service." Kate began, shaking the man's hand.

"Conrad Hart, ACME." Conrad replied.

"Well, I figured while the kids get some training in water attacks you'd appreciate a chance to shoot a few rounds." Surefire said, with a grin.

"Lay on Macduff." Conrad begun.

"Shakespeare. Very nice." Surefire began, "They teach you the Bard's work in the French Foreign Legion?"

"No, _mon commandant._" Conrad replied as they walked up the gangplank into the ship.

* * *

**The Pit, Training Ship  
****Conrad, Kate, Shipwreck, Surefire  
****20 February 2002, 0811**

"I tend to favor the grenade and the sub-machinegun (SMG) or personal defense weapon (PDW)." Conrad began.

"You don't want to start lobbing grenades on a ship. You've got no idea if you might damage a fuel line, start a fire, or make a hole in the hull which could really ruin your day below the waterline." Shipwreck began as he checked one of his two Desert Eagles.

"Compensating for something?" Kate quipped as she noticed Shipwreck's two Desert Eagles that he was loading into holsters strapped to each thigh.

"No kill like overkill." Shipwreck said, with a smirk.

"Personally automatics are the way to go." Conrad replied as he hefted an AMD-65, a short barreled and compact AK-47 variant manufactured by the Hungarians.

"But no grenades for you." Kate commented, as she checked her own Sig.

"Not interested in grabbing anything else from the armory?" Surefire replied.

"No thanks," Kate replied, "My issued Sig works well enough. You boys can go on about all your guns."

"Alrighty then, you're in the lead." Surefire said, "Stack up on that hatch over there."

Surefire indicated a door that would lead further up to the bridge of the ship with his free hand, holding a cut down M4 carbine. Kate was in the lead, Shipwreck behind her and Conrad behind Shipwreck.

Surefire swung open the door and Kate went up the ladder well to the bridge of the ship. As she got a little over a third of the way up the stairs a pop up target sprang into being. Kate saw the figure of a man in a hoodie with a pistol in hand and accordingly fired several shots that clustered around the man's chest and neck. The target retracted.

Coming up into the bridge Kate turned right and Shipwreck turned left. Another target, this one a hostage with a terrorist wearing a ski mask holding her. Shipwreck let fly with two rounds from his Desert Eagles, putting two rounds into the forehead and nose of his target. Kate managed to gun down a second target with a knife.

Conrad and Surefire came into the room just then, Kate moved deeper, staying along the wall as Conrad entered. He sighted another target, this one a terrorist with a pistol wearing a ski mask. Conrad fired the AMD-65 in two short controlled bursts, ripping holes in the chest and head of his target. Surefire charged onto the ship's bridge, seeing a fourth target, this one unarmed so he didn't fire, but the one to the left and behind it was. He fired several rounds into the target.

"Clear and safe all weapons." Surefire shouted.

The foursome removed magazines from their weapons before taking out any chambered rounds.

"Good shooting." Surefire said, "A bit of a looser pattern of hits for you on that second target, Kate. Don't rush."

"I literally just saw him when I got into the room." Kate replied, "I couldn't see if he was a hostile or not until I got around the ship's steering console."

"Hart, not bad marksmanship either, but try to avoid overkill. Sounded like you emptied nearly half a magazine into the guy." Surefire said, "This isn't the French Foreign Legion. In law enforcement operations you have to account for every round fired, rapid single shots are better and they conserve ammo."

"If he's hopped up on something it's best to sort him with a longer burst." Conrad countered, "However I see your point in a law enforcement context."

"Shipwreck, nice shot with the dual Desert Eagles." Surefire began, "But your margin of error is really low with the .50 Action Express rounds. You miss, you'll really mess up the hostage."

"It's a good thing I know how to shoot them then." Shipwreck replied.

"Up here," Conrad said, "I think I could justify throwing grenades into the room."

"With hostages present?" Kate replied, appalled.

"Or at the very least flashbangs." Conrad countered.

"I agree with you on that." Kate replied.

"Plus with some models of flash bangs one can stick them in a frag sleeve." Conrad replied.

"Why did I just know you were going to say that?" Kate replied, "This isn't the French Foreign Legion."

"And there's also the matter of explosive breaching of water tight hatches. If done correctly they won't damage parts of the ship." Conrad replied.

"You're awfully confident in your knowledge of explosives." Kate observed.

"It's what I did when I was in the Legion, mining, demining, explosive breaching, and demolitions." Conrad replied.

"Alright, lets regroup and have a go at other sections of the ship. Hart, you're on point." Surefire replied, "Show us how you do room clearing in the Legion."

"_Oui mon commandant._" Conrad replied.

* * *

**The Pit, Seaside Annex  
****Todd, Althea, and Wet Suit  
****20 February 2002, 0814**

"Ok, put this on before we get in the water." Wet Suit said as he handed Todd a silver metallic necklace.

Todd noticed that Althea was wearing one just like it.

"What does it do?" Todd asked.

"It prevents any mutant scanning devices from detecting your lifesigns in case you go out past our boundaries." Wet Suit replied, "For instance, Cerebro."

"So that's why the X-Geeks haven't found you guys yet." Todd replied.

"Who are the X-Geeks?" Wet Suit asked, puzzled.

"He means the X-men." Althea replied, as she was preparing to dive off the pier into the water.

_Why does he look so nervous? He's just standing there at the edge of the pier? _Althea thought.

"You're not afraid, are you?" Althea asked.

"Who, me? No, I'm not scared and...WHOA!" Todd replied as Althea laughed and shoved him off the pier.

Todd fell forward, arms flailing and legs bicycling. With a great splash he belly flopped into the water.

"Ow." Todd groaned, as he tread water, "Geez Al why did you have to..."

Todd stopped in mid-protest when he noticed Wet Suit staring down at him, eyes wide with amazement.

"Wh-what's the matter and..." Todd began before looking down at his arm, seeing the skin had turned a pale green shade. He let out a shriek before swimming out of sight.

"Where'd he go?" Althea asked, as she saw Todd rapidly swim out of sight, underneath the surface of the murky water.

"I didn't know he could swim so fast." Althea mused, shouting, "Todd! Todd come back! I was just kidding!"

She plunged in after him, swimming in hot pursuit.

"Oh great," Wet Suit grumbled, "Now I've lost them both."

* * *

To Be Continued...


	18. We Belong to the Sea, Part Two

We Belong to the Sea, Part 2

Disclaimer: Same as before.

* * *

**Just Outside the Seaside Annex  
****Todd Tolansky and Althea Delgado  
****20 February 2002, 0830**

Not far away from the Seaside Annex of the Pit there was a small, secluded beach. Todd climbed out of the water and with a couple hops he was behind the dunes.

"Oh man, now I really _**do **_look like a frog! Why did this have to happen? And I was just getting comfortable with my mutation too!" Todd grumbled to himself.

He crouched lower behind the dunes as he heard the sound of splashing as Althea emerged from the water.

"Todd? Where are you? Todd?" Althea called out.

"Go away! _Go away!_" Todd shouted, "Don't look at me!"

Todd closed his eyes, covering his face. _Oh God! She's seen me! Man...game over…_

"Todd," Althea replied as she crested over the top of the dune, "What's the matter?"

_Oh man! I don't wanna see the look on her face, _Todd thought as Althea approached.

"Todd, what is it? Todd. Please. Look at me," Althea began.

"I can't," Todd moaned.

"Yes you can now look at me," Althea insisted.

Todd opened his eyes and moved his hands away from his face. And his eyes went wide as he exclaimed, "You're blue!"

"Yes and you're green," Althea replied in an amused tone.

_She's blue, _Todd thought, _It's like she's a lighter color than Mystique._

"So your skin changes color in salt water too?" Althea replied.

"What?" Todd asked, looking down at himself, "Is that what happened?"

"You didn't know?" Althea asked, "In my case it's kind of a chemical reaction. It's not painful or anything, but I just can't go to the beach like everyone else."

"Maybe that's the same with me?" Todd asked.

"Come on," Althea replied, taking his hand and with a laugh dragging him back to the water. After getting into waist deep water they began to swim together. Swimming through schools of fish. Swimming around each other, letting cool water washing over their bodies.

_Is this what it's like to fall in love? _Todd thought as he swam, hand in hand with her underneath the surface of the ocean.

He had never felt so accepted, so wanted in all of his life. He looked into Althea's eyes as they turned to face one another.

_How can someone so shy and timid be so wonderful? _Althea thought. _I never want today to end...I'll never forget today if I live to be over a hundred._

* * *

**The Pit, Seaside Annex  
****Wet Suit, Shipwreck, Surefire, Kate, Conrad  
****20 February 2002, 0845**

"Run away? What do you mean, run away?" Shipwreck began.

"Exactly what it sounds like," Wet Suit replied as he started to make some last minute checks on one of the motorboats tied up along the pier of the Pit's Seaside Annex.

"Wait, back up, Wet Suit," Surefire began, "What provoked that? From all of the things Roadblock's told me and Psyche-Out's assessment on the kid this isn't usual behavior for him."

"Althea pushed him into the water and his skin turned green the he freaked out and swam off," Wet Suit replied now starting the engines of the boat.

"Did you know the kid had that ability?" Kate asked Shipwreck.

"It's news to me," Shipwreck replied as he walked down to start undoing some lines forward on the boat.

"Maybe that's why he ran off," Kate replied.

"More like swam off," Conrad countered.

"Fine, swam off. Argue semantics much, Hart?" Kate replied.

"Only on certain days of the week," Conrad quipped as he helped undo some lines aft.

Kate and Surefire hopped into the boat and after Shipwreck and Conrad had tossed their lines onto the boat they got onboard as well.

"Hopefully they didn't get too far," Wet Suit replied as engaged the throttles and began to drive the boat out of the harbor.

* * *

**Just Outside the Seaside Annex  
****Todd Tolansky and Althea Delgado  
****20 February 2002, 0945**

"Watch this," Althea said, and with a wave of her arm the waves grew larger, carrying her and Todd on a hand in hand ride upon the crests of the waves.

When the wave crashed back down, Todd and Althea swam side by side underwater for a little bit before surfacing, treading water.

With a couple deep breaths Althea began, "I really, really like you Todd Tolansky."

_Did I really hear her say that? Or did I just get a lot of water in my ears? _Todd thought, then he noticed the blush on Althea's face. Then feeling her pulling him closer and kissing him.

Todd blinked and blush, the pink of the blush mixing with his green color. Tentatively, at first, he kissed her back. _I'll never forget this moment. _

After the kiss broke, for want of air, Todd began, "I just realized something. I don't know your codename."

"That's because I don't have one," Althea replied.

"No codename?" Todd replied, "That just doesn't seem right, yo."

With a smile as they held hands Althea asked, "Then what would you call me?"

Todd thought for a few moments and smiled before saying, "Wavedancer. 'Cause of the way you. You're like a dancer in the water."

She smiled, "Wavedancer. I love it."

Althea clasped Todd's hand and with her powers they rode the waves some more. After a few more minutes Althea sighed, "We better head back. Wet Suit's probably having a conniption looking for us."

"I can't go back looking like _**this.**_" Todd yelped.

"Why not?" Althea countered, "They've seen me like this."

"They'll laugh at me," Todd replied.

"For crying out loud!" Althea rolled her eyes and gently tugged on Todd's hand, "If you weren't so cute I wouldn't know what I see in you! Come with me!"

Todd nodded weakly and the two swam hand in hand back towards the Pit's Seaside Annex.

* * *

**Just Outside the Seaside Annex  
****Wet Suit, Shipwreck, Surefire, Kate, Conrad  
****20 February 2002, 1051**

"There! Did you see that huge wave to the right?" Kate shouted over the din of the boat's engine.

"Off the starboard side," Shipwreck corrected, "Nautical term is starboard for right and port for left."

"Whatever," Kate replied.

Conrad lifted a pair of binoculars to his eyes as Kate pointed at a second large wave before saying, "I see what looks like two people bodysurfing in that wave."

"I'll steer us towards it." Wet Suit said, gunning the engine, causing Kate to lose her footing and fall forward.

Conrad managed to arrest her fall, but wound up falling over on his back, Kate lying on top of him.

With a wry smile the ex-Legionnaire said, "Don't you think we should go to dinner first?"

"Very funny," Kate replied with a smirk as she tried to get to her feet.

"If you two are done canoodling we've got two kids to find," Surefire chimed in as he and Shipwreck helped Conrad and Kate to their feet.

"Do you always drive boats like that, Wet Suit?" Kate asked the SEAL as she regained her footing.

"You landlubbers," Shipwreck countered with an amused belly laugh.

Conrad raised his binoculars to his eyes and saw two people treading water, "To your half right!"

Wet Suit nodded and turned the boat slightly, slowing down as he approached the two teenagers in the water.

* * *

**Just Outside the Seaside Annex  
****Todd Tolansky and Althea Delgado  
****20 February 2002, 1048**

It was just after they had begun their swim back towards the Pit that Althea and Todd noticed the small boat heading their way.

Todd promptly hid behind Althea as the boat neared them. Althea rolled her eyes and said, "Just duck underwater for a minute and I'll explain everything."

As Todd complied Althea could make out the faces of Agents Hart and Todd, Surefire, Shipwreck and Wet Suit in the small boat.

"Where's Todd?" Kate asked, without any preamble as she reached downward to help Althea into the boat.

"He's just behind me, he had a little situation with his powers and freaked out a little," Althea explained, "Try not to get too freaked out that he's a little green right now."

"Alright," Kate replied and turned to explain to the others, seeing Althea go underwater out of the corner of her eye.

Althea gave Todd a thumbs up and the boy nervously surfaced. Shipwreck reached down to help Althea back onto the boat and Conrad helped Todd.

Meanwhile Kate had reached into a box near the steering console and withdrew two towels and draped them over the shoulders of the two teenagers. Then Wet Suit gunned the motors of the boat and headed back towards the Seaside Annex.

After about ten minutes Todd's skin turned back to its normal pale color. With a smile Althea took his hand and said, "See it's not so bad afterall."

Todd returned the smile as he looked into her eyes and replied, "No, it's not."

Todd, of course spoke more about his feelings than the little episode with his skin as they continued their trip.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****20 February 2002, 1644**

"That certainly was an interesting day," Kate began as she sat down at the kitchen table and powered up her laptop before reaching into a pocket and pulling out her PDA.

"That it most certainly was," Conrad replied as he took out his notebook and laid it beside his own laptop, and typing up an email from his notes.

Kate rummaged around through her backpack and pulled out a docking station and USB cable for her PDA and plugged it into her laptop, "I think my way's a bit faster."

"To each his or her own, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied.

"This whole development with Todd and Althea is certainly going into my report," Kate replied.

"Ah, young love," Conrad commented wistfully.

Kate smiled and replied, "I mean just look at those two for even a couple minutes and you can tell that their being in each others' lives is only a good thing."

Conrad nodded as he continued to type his report, "I agree and my own report is to say just as much. Having Althea in his life is what the boy needs. Even if he's likely to have insane in laws."

"That's a bit premature, don't you think?" Kate replied.

"Not at all," Conrad replied, "With some couples you just can tell."

Kate wistfully smiled, "Good point. My parents are the same way. They were high school sweethearts, Dad got drafted to go to Vietnam and Mom waited for him."

Conrad replied, "My _grand-mère _and _grand-père_ were much the same. Every morning as the sun rises _grand-mère _walks along the beach to remember. She's done this for as long as I can remember."

Kate felt a lump rise in her throat, "I can't imagine what it's like to lose someone you love like that."

"Someday I want to find what became of _grand-père_," Conrad replied, "If for nothing else my family knows what became of him beyond the words 'Missing in Action'."

"I hope you find what you're looking for," Kate replied, "And back to the present day, that's part of the reason I'm definitely making my observation that the Delgados, while insane, are a good influence on Todd."

"Likewise. They certainly keep things interesting," Conrad replied.

"Interesting isn't the word I'd use to describe Shipwreck and his family," Kate replied, with a smile as she typed another email.

"Yes, I'm definitely looking forward to our 'Delayed Valentine's Day'," Kate said softly as she typed the sentence.

"Excuse me?" Conrad said.

"Oh," Kate replied, with a slight wince, "Did I say that out loud?"

"You did," Conrad replied, "and it's nothing I wouldn't have been surprised by."

"Oh, why is that?"

"A beautiful woman like you not having someone in her life," Conrad replied.

Kate felt herself blush, "Well given my line of work has me on the job 24/7 it's not easy. But Tim at least understands that."

"How so?" Conrad replied, curious.

"He's on the Presidential Detail with me," Kate replied. _Damn it, I said too much._

Conrad noticed the slight regret at Kate's admission, but declined to press on the matter. _Must be against their rules or something to that effect._

"Dating fellow members of the Presidential Detail is against regulations," Kate replied, "So I'd appreciate it if…"

Conrad replied, "Think nothing of it."

"So is there someone in your life?" Kate asked.

"That's something I'd honestly rather not discuss," Conrad replied.

"Okay, I'm sorry if I brought up a sore subject," Kate apologized.

"It's quite alright, you didn't know, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied.

_I wonder if that has something to do with his mysterious reason for joining the French Foreign Legion? I know one cliche of a reason men joined the French Foreign Legion was because of being romantically rejected. I wonder if that's true of Conrad? _Kate thought.

* * *

_Tim,_

_Like I said over the phone: Yes, I'm definitely looking forward to our Delayed Valentine's Day. _

_I saw something very beautiful today. The two kids, Althea and Todd, are clearly high school sweethearts and in my professional opinion as a profiler, soulmates. If you saw them you would definitely see that. _

_God, I miss you. _

_Kate_

_P.S. I love you._

* * *

To Be Continued...


	19. Coffee, Chaos, and Questions, Part One

Coffee, Chaos and Questions, Part One

Disclaimer: Same as before.

* * *

_Agent Todd,_

_This latest development of a relationship between Tolansky and the Delgato girl is something that's piqued some interest. I caution you, though, to avoid making overly optimistic assessments. For all you know this could be just like any other teenage crush. I ask that you keep overly personal assessments out of future reports._

_I do wonder about the remainder of the Delgato family and their influence on Todd as well. Especially some of the reports I've heard about Brittany, Quinn, and Daria Delgato that mention they've been responsible for several additions to the long list of places that Shipwreck is banned from._

_Agent Baer_

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****21 February 2002, 0645**

"What the Hell happened to you?" Kate asked as Conrad walked into the apartment. He was soaking wet, and covered with soap suds. Clutched in his left hand was a thermos.

"Put it this way, mutants and coffee do not mix," Conrad replied as he walked into the apartment and set the thermos onto the kitchen table.

"I figured it had something to do with Todd," Kate replied, "If it didn't I'd wonder how you managed to get soaking wet just checking out the Mess Hall to see what BA was serving."

"As I said, it did have something to do with Todd and mutants and coffee are in fact a recipe for chaos," Conrad replied.

"Ok, what happened?" Kate asked.

"Todd drank some of BA's coffee and went into a great fit of hyperactivity," Conrad replied.

"How can coffee cause an already hyperactive mutant teenager to get even more so?" Kate asked.

"I do believe that the coffee is BA's special blend," Conrad replied.

"What did BA do? Spike the coffee? That sounds more like something _Shipwreck_ would do," Kate replied.

"I'm not sure," Conrad replied, "But whatever he did sure makes it potent."

"Ok, so start at the beginning, how did you wind up looking like a dishwasher exploded all over you?" Kate replied.

"Well, it all started when I went to go check out the menu to see if we should get breakfast at the mess hall…" Conrad began.

* * *

**The Pit, The Mess Hall  
****Big Lob, Tunnel Rat, Conrad, Toad  
****21 February 2002, 0600**

Conrad Hart walked into the mess hall as Todd was working with Big Lob, Tunnel Rat, and Cross Country to help set up for breakfast.

"So I ain't seen you around much," Tunnel Rat said to Todd.

"Been hanging around Shipwreck's place lately," Big Lob smirked as he laid out several coffee cups near the beverage table.

"More like his daughter," Tunnel Rat said, smiling.

"Oooh! Someone's got a girlfriend!" Both of them said at the same time.

"Shut up!" Todd said, blushing.

"Ah, young love," Conrad commented as he walked over. Todd turned an even darker shade of pink.

"Got to first base yet?" Big Lob said as he ruffled Todd's hair.

"Come on, guys, cut it out!" Todd said, blushed red now.

"Hey guys, lay off him," Cross Country said as he came over after setting up the last stack of trays, "Kid doesn't need you giving him a hard time now."

"Aw, we're just yanking his chain a little," Tunnel Rat replied, before turning to Todd, "Come on kid! Let's celebrate."

"Hey Big Lob," Tunnel Rat said, "Give me a cup of that coffee."

Big Lob complied and poured four more cups for the others in the room, "Come on kid, have a cup of Joe with the Joes."

Todd cradled the cup of coffee, looking at it and sniffing, "I dunno it smells pretty strong."

"So it'll put hair on your chest!" Big Lob replied.

"Really?" Todd said, eyes growing big.

"Guys, I don't think you should do that," Cross Country said.

"Aw, come on, it's just a little coffee," Tunnel Rat replied, "What harm can it do?"

Todd took a swig. Then another. His eyes began to swim and he gasped, "WHOA!"

After taking a much larger slug from the cup he began to grin…

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****21 February 2002, 0648**

"So Todd had the cup of coffee and then what happened?" Kate asked.

"The kid started hopping all over the place, jumped from wall to ceiling to floor," Conrad replied, "We managed to close the front door so he couldn't get outside of it."

"Alright, then how did you wind up soaking wet?" Kate asked.

"I was getting there," Conrad replied, "Well after Todd's impromptu redecoration of the mess hall with toilet paper, whipped cream and paper napkins he wound up getting into the kitchen and started spraying water everywhere from the big sinks in there. We all went in there to try and corral him only to get soaked with dish soap and even more water."

"No way," Kate replied.

"If you think I'm kidding let's go down there and I'll _**show **_you I am most assuredly not kidding!" Conrad replied.

"Ok," Kate replied, grabbing her jacket and following Conrad out of the apartment and down the stairs.

After crossing the courtyard into the cafeteria Conrad opened the door and with a flourish said, "After you, _mademoiselle._"

Just after Kate walked into the cafeteria she saw Roadblock standing in the room and that Conrad hadn't been exaggerating one bit.

"WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED HERE!?" Roadblock bellowed.

"Jesus, Roadblock, you nearly made me deaf as Conrad just now," Kate complained.

"Hey," Conrad protested, "I'm not totally deaf, it's only my left ear that tends to have my hearing come and go."

"Unbelievable," Kate commented as she surveyed the damage.

"Now you see I wasn't joking!" Conrad replied.

BA walked up to the trio standing near the Mess Hall's entrance and responded to Roadblock's question, "Toad the Mutant Tornado."

"WHAT?" Roadblock shouted, "WHY THAT LITTLE…"

"Technically, Roadblock, it's not the kid's fault," Conrad countered.

"How is that the case? Because it looks like the kid's trashed this building on base?" Roadblock replied.

"Well," Tunnel Rat said as he and Big Lob approached, "We just gave the kid a bit of coffee…"

"Coffee?" Roadblock said, "This wouldn't be BA's coffee, would it?"

"Uh…" Tunnel Rat replied.

"Roadblock, wait, what is the deal with BA's coffee?" Kate asked.

Roadblock ignored Kate before continuing, "BA's _infamous _coffee?"

"Um…" Big Lob said with a gulp.

"BA's Ultimate Eye Opener?" Roadblock continued, advancing on the other two men.

Kate let out a yelp as Roadblock accidentally stepped on her foot. _Mr. Gentle Giant over there is really pissed right now if he forgot to apologize. _Kate thought.

"Uh…" Big Lob and Tunnel Rat said together.

"BA's coffee that is so strong a single drop of it once drove an anaconda crazy?" Roadblock added as he continued to walk towards Tunnel Rat and Big Lob.

"Uh…"

"A coffee so strong that a single cup can keep a man awake for a week?" Roadblock shouted.

"I'm sure that has to be an exaggeration," Conrad interjected.

Roadblock turned around to glare at him, "No, Mr. Legionnaire, I assure you it isn't."

"Looking back on it, maybe it wasn't the smartest thing we've ever done," Tunnel Rat replied.

"Ya think?" Roadblock shouted, grabbing a fistfull of Tunnel Rat's shirt, "This stuff makes _adults _wired for _**days**_! Imagine what it does to the system of a hyperactive mutant teenager?"

"I think I bore witness to the end result," Conrad whispered to Kate.

"We didn't think he'd drink the whole cup!" Tunnel Rat yelped.

"Yeah," Big Lob added, "What harm would it do?"

"I think Conrad being soaked to the bone is one clue," Kate remarked.

"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Todd's excited shout resounded through the room.

"I think you're all about to find out," BA interjected.

"I managed to get him contained to the kitchen," Conrad replied, "Just barely."

The fivesome approached the kitchen door, with a chair braced against the doorknob. Through the closed door they could see that bubbles were leaking out onto the floor. After moving the chair aside Roadblock flung the door open in time to see the kitchen covered in bubbles and in the middle of the floor they could all see Todd skating with brushes tied to the soles of his feet.

"Wheeee!" Todd crowed.

After he saw Roadblock and the others he waved and cheerfully said, "Hi guys! I'm helping clean up the kitchen!"

"Oh man," Big Lob replied, mouth falling open.

"Need I explain further, _mademoiselle_?" Conrad replied, pointing at the sight before them.

Todd reached over to the sink, taking a hose from it and spraying water into the air, drenching the five people near the kitchen entrance.

"Okay Conrad, I'm officially convinced you weren't kidding," Kate replied as she wiped water off her brow, _Damn it! I just got this suit dry cleaned before I left!_

"Well now, Todd, you're going to do some extra training to work off all that energy!" Roadblock told him.

"Cool!" Todd said, hopping up and down, his head narrowly missing going through the ceiling tiles by a few millimeters.

"Yes, you are going to the obstacle course! The really big one on the other side of base," Roadblock replied, "And these two are going to take you and train with you!"

"What?" Tunnel Rat shouted.

"That's cruel and unusual punishment!" Big Lob protested.

Roadblock glared at them and Big Lob replied, "I mean it's gonna be a lot of fun!"

"Yeah I can hardly wait!" Tunnel Rat said with false enthusiasm, whirling his index finger in the air, "Let's go to the obstacle course!"

"Yippppeeeee!" Todd shouted excitedly as he bounced after them.

"Kid! Take off the brushes first! You're getting soap everywhere!" BA shouted.

Todd complied as Kate thought, _As if there isn't soap everywhere already._

"BA, I'll help you clean up, it's safer," Roadblock replied.

"I'll help as well, since I'm already drenched," Conrad added.

"So will I," Kate replied, _Baer's probably gonna have me committed to the mental institution over this part of my report. _

* * *

**The Pit, The Mess Hall  
****Roadblock, BA, Beach Head, Sergeant Slaughter, Conrad, Kate  
****21 February 2002, 0848**

"I can't believe one kid caused all this mess," BA groaned as he dumped yet another bucket of water into the sink.

"I do," Beach Head replied, "The kid is a menace."

"Ok, he's a bit crazy but not a menace," Kate replied, "He is just a kid."

"Well by now most of the caffeine's out of his system," Roadblock replied, "Nothing like hard work to take the fight out of a boy. The obstacle course should calm him down."

"The operative word being should," Conrad quipped as he put a stack of dishes away.

"To be fair, Conrad, maybe it worked," Kate replied as she stacked a few trays and put them into another cabinet.

The sound of a door opening could be heard. Shortly after Todd bounded in with Big Lob and Tunnel Rat in tow.

"THAT WAS GREAT!" Todd shouted.

"_Merde_," Conrad groaned.

"You were saying, Roadblock?" BA said skeptically.

Tunnel Rat and Big Lob staggered in behind him. In stark contrast to Todd, who looked fresh as a daisy, they were covered in dirt and grime and looked like a fleet of tanks had run over them before reversing to do so again.

"That was great!" Todd shouted, hopping up and down, "Again! I wanna do it again!"

"But you've already done it 26 times," Tunnel Rat groaned.

"The obstacle course is destroyed! There's nothing left!" Big Lob added.

"I wanna train some more!" Todd said, jumping up and down, higher and higher, his head just barely touching the ceiling, "Come on guys, I wanna train some more!"

"Someone _**please **_help us…" Tunnel Rat said in agony.

"Well," Sergeant Slaughter said, walking over, "I think I can put that energy to good use."

"Take him. For the love of God! Take him!" Big Lob replied.

"ATTEN-HUT!" Sergeant Slaughter shouted and then Todd promptly popped to attention.

"So you wanna train some more, eh, soldier?" Sergeant Slaughter began.

"Yes sir!" Todd said cheerfully.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Sergeant Slaughter replied.

"YES SIR!" Todd replied.

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" Sergeant Slaughter replied, "AND DON'T CALL ME SIR, I WORK FOR A LIVING!"

"YES SERGEANT SLAUGHTER!" Todd shouted at the top of his lungs.

_Note to self, wear earplugs next time Todd's on a caffeine high,_ Kate thought.

"I've got just the thing in mind," Sergeant Slaughter said, with a grin. Guiding Todd by one arm to the nearest window he pointed, "See that mountain there, soldier? We're gonna climb it, with nice little twenty pound knapsacks on our backs."

"THAT'S GREAT! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET STARTED!" Todd shouted.

"Now that's the attitude I wanna see," Sergeant Slaughter replied.

"Sarge, don't kill the kid!" Roadblock replied.

"Don't worry, I'm sure nice little hike up and down a mountain should wind his batteries right down," Sergeant Slaughter said as they left.

"Ok, five will get you fifteen that Sergeant Slaughter runs the kid into the ground," Tunnel Rat replied.

"I dunno," Big Lob said, "Make it a double and you've got yourself a bet."

"Deal," Tunnel Rat replied.

"Ten for twenty that Todd runs Sergeant Slaughter into the ground," BA said.

"Same for me," Conrad replied, only for Kate to elbow him in the ribs.

"I don't believe this," Kate replied, with noticeable chagrin, "You guys are actually _betting _on whether Todd runs Sergeant Slaughter into the ground or vice versa.

"Hey, it's possibly a way to make a few bucks," Conrad quipped.

"You've seriously gone native," Kate replied.

BA chuckled as he walked up to them, "You'll find out that at any given time there's at least a dozen betting pools going on around this base."

"Let me guess, Shipwreck is running most of them?" Kate replied.

"He's in on some and started a few, but not as many as you think," BA replied with a grin.

_Baer's gonna have a heart attack about this, _Kate thought.

Conrad laughed and Kate turned towards him, "What's so funny?"

"You have to admit, one kid on a caffeine high causing this much damage is funny in a weirdly demented sort of way," Conrad replied.

"I see your point, warped as it is," Kate replied.

"I'm sure both of our reports are going to be amusing reads for our respective bosses," Conrad replied.

"Maybe for your boss, if he's got a sense of humor," Kate replied.

"She, actually," Conrad corrected, "She does have a sense of humor, though she does wonder what sort of madhouse I've wandered into."

"Well you're lucky," Kate replied, "Agent Baer isn't known for a sense of humor."

"Sounds like it," Conrad replied.

"I'm convinced he doesn't have one," Kate replied, "I'm going up to the apartment to get changed. What did you put in that thermos, by the way?"

"A bit of BA's Coffee, of course," Conrad grinned.

"Why?" Kate asked.

"No point in wasting it," Conrad replied with a droll shrug.

"Ok, _**now**_ it's official: you've gone native," Kate replied as she walked out of the Mess Hall.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	20. Coffee, Chaos, and Questions, Part Two

Coffee, Chaos, and Questions, Part Two

Disclaimer: Same as before…

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building Lounge  
****Roadblock, Beach Head, Conrad, and Kate  
****21 February 2002, 1158**

"Well, the kid should be calmed down by now," Roadblock began as he waited in the lounge.

"If he's still alive," Beach Head smirked, "The Sarge will run that little punk into the ground! He'll be lucky if he has any strength to crawl back!"

"Wonder who's winning the bet?" Conrad ventured only to have Kate elbow him in the ribs.

Just as Conrad spoke Todd hopped happily into the lounge before saying, "Wow! I just had the best time! Mountain climbing sure is fun? Eh Sarge? Sarge? Sarge? Come on Sarge! Get the lead out!"

Roadblock, Conrad, Kate, and Beach Head turned to see Sergeant Slaughter, the toughest Drill Sergeant who ever lived, stagger into the lounge. After he dropped his backpack he groaned, "Help me."

Then he collapsed onto the couch. For what felt like hour-long minutes no one spoke until Beach Head managed to collect his thoughts, "Sarge, what did he do to you?"

"We went up the mountain and then back down. Then he wanted to race up the mountain. So I said why not? That was the biggest mistake of my life!"

"I won the race!" Todd beamed.

"How did he win with a twenty pound backpack on?" Beach Head asked.

"You know those old cartoons where the skunk bounces happily all over the place without a care in the world?" Sergeant Slaughter replied.

"Vividly," Kate replied.

"Just picture the skunk jumping something like forty-something feet and that's pretty much what that was like," Sergeant Slaughter replied.

"No way," Kate replied.

"Do you see the proof?" Sergeant Slaughter said as Todd hopped wildly around the lounge.

"That was great!" Todd shouted, "I love mountain climbing! Can we do it again, Sarge? Huh? Can we? Can we?"

"Maybe later. _**After **_I find my lungs," Sergeant Slaughter replied.

"I never thought I'd see the sight I found," Roadblock began, "Someone finally ran the Sarge into the ground."

"I wanna train some more!" Todd said, jumping up and down.

"It's official," Sergeant Slaughter replied, flopping down onto the couch, "I'm getting old. There was a time that a little thing like climbing a mountain _wouldn't _tire me out like this."

"You've never done it with a mutant teenager hyped up on BA's coffee," Roadblock observed.

"Good point. Any more of that coffee left?"

"I'll have some more!" Todd said.

"OH NO YOU WON'T!" Everyone in the room shouted.

"Aww…" Todd pouted, before hopping over to Roadblock, "So what do you wanna do, Roadblock?"

"You're not tired?" Roadblock asked, incredulous.

"Not yet," Todd shook his head.

"Oh great," Roadblock groaned.

"And you still decided to bring a thermos full of that stuff back to the room?" Kate whispered to Conrad.

"It wasn't that bad a cup of coffee," Conrad replied.

"Minus the fact that it's got Todd insanely wired right now!" Kate replied.

"YAHOO! YIPEEE!" Todd shouted as he hopped from floor, to ceiling, to wall around the lounge.

"Good point. But I'm sure if you're likely to have a late night or an early morning BA's coffee isn't a bad thing," Conrad observed.

"Provided Todd, Althea, or God forbid the triplets don't get a hold of it," Kate replied.

"Good point! Those three are insane enough without BA's coffee…" Conrad began before pausing.

"I agree," Kate replied, before noticing Conrad's voice trailing off. She was about to ask him what he was going on about when she saw Conrad raise his index finger to his lips.

Kate followed Conrad's line of sight to where Todd looking around, before spotting something hidden in a camouflage backpack near the chair Beach Head was sitting in.

"Oh great, now what do I do?" Roadblock groaned.

"Don't look at me," Beach Head said with a snorted laugh, "It's not my fault you can't control him."

Because Beach Head and Roadblock were busy arguing about Roadblock's apparent lack of control over Todd neither man saw what Conrad and Kate were witnessing. Todd's hand reached into a partially open main compartment of the backpack, pulling out a brown teddy bear wearing camouflage fatigues and shiny little black boots.

"Hey, is this your teddy bear?" Todd asked.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?" Beach Head roared, "YOU WERE IN MY BACKPACK YOU LITTLE SNEAK!"

"Let's play a game!" Todd shouted, hopping up and down, waving the bear.

Beach Head stood up from the chair to start chasing Todd. Todd whooped happily and shouted, "I've got Sergeant Snuffles!"

"MAKE HIM GIVE THAT BACK!" Beach Head shouted.

"What am I supposed to do?" Roadblock asked, "I can't control him, remember."

"Unbelievable," Kate groaned as she began to make a couple notes on her PDA, "I'm going to have a heck of a time describing Todd on a caffeine high."

"Why not just say coffee and mutants don't mix and leave it at that?" Conrad replied.

"You don't know Agent Baer," Kate replied, "He's going to want every single detail and...HEY!"

Kate yelped and her chair flipped over backward when Todd grabbed her PDA and she tumbled backward in a graceless heap.

"ROADBLOCK MAKE HIM GIVE IT BACK!" Beach Head shouted as he chased Todd around the room.

Kate rolled out of the way, narrowly avoiding having Beach Head step on her midsection as he gave chase.

"Hey! Watch it!" Kate shouted. She felt a hand under each of her arms and the sensation of being dragged out of the way.

"Don't look at me," Roadblock said with a smile, "I can't control him, remember?"

"Beach Head, do you think you could control where you stamp your feet? You nearly stomped on my stomach chasing the kid!" Kate exclaimed.

Conrad reached down to help Kate to her feet and she did sway slightly, having worn a pair of high heels that day. _Not the best footwear to try and chase down a hyperactive mutant teenager, _Kate thought.

She dusted herself off as Beach Head continued to try to chase Todd around the room, "I'm thinking that the nearest mental institution in Washington D.C. has its newest inmate."

"Who? Todd?" Conrad asked.

"No. Me, once I submit today's report," Kate groaned, "Baer isn't going to believe _**this**__._"

"There's always omission," Conrad replied.

"I'm seriously considering that," Kate sighed.

After about another hour of Beach Head fruitlessly chasing Todd around the lounge Roadblock managed to get the kid to give back the items he had taken.

"So whatdya want to do now?" Todd asked, hopping up and down.

"Why don't you go play in a minefield," Beach Head glared at him.

"CAN I?" Todd asked, eyes going wide and fluttering his eyelids.

"NO!" Roadblock shouted. "Come on, playtime's over. Let's go talk to Lifeline now, shall we?"

"Okay," Todd said as he hopped alongside Roadblock.

Roadblock, out of the corner of his eye, noticed Conrad and Kate were following them. _Sticking closer to me than my own shadow, not surprising._ Roadblock thought. _They're not bad people, however given they're not members of G.I. Joe I still don't 100% trust either of them._

"Kid, do you ever walk?" Roadblock said, turning his attention back to Todd.

"Sorry," Todd replied in mid hop, and upon landing reverted to walking, "It just comes natural to me, y'know."

"I guess," Roadblock replied as the foursome walked into the Infirmary and towards Lifeline's office, "Now stay with Agent Todd and Agent Hart. Don't go too far…"

Lifeline looked up from his computer as Roadblock walked into the room.

"Lifeline, do you have any knock out drops?"

"What?" Lifeline asked.

"The kid is on a caffeine high," Roadblock explained, "Please, just something to calm him down. _Before _he runs _**me**_ down!"

"Roadblock, that's not idea to give the boy too much medication, _especially _given his mutated metabolism," Lifeline replied.

"Please!" Roadblock replied, "I tried having him exercise it off. It didn't work."

"I know. I saw Sarge, Tunnel Rat, and Big Lob earlier," Lifeline sighed, "Let me have a look at him."

"Thanks," Roadblock said as they walked out into the hall. Todd was nowhere to be seen, neither were Agent Todd or Agent Hart.

"Oh no," Lifeline groaned, "You don't think he went out to look at the tanks again, did he?"

"How did he get past an agent from ACME _and _an agent from the US Secret Service?" Roadblock said.

"Oh Lord," Lifeline groaned as the two of them went around the building looking for him.

Roadblock reached into his pocket and grabbed his cell phone. He punched in Agent Hart's number and when he picked up he heard Conrad's reply, "Agent Hart…"

"What the Hell is going on here? Where's Todd?" Roadblock demanded.

"Relax, _Monsieur _Roadblock," Conrad said, "He's got plenty of adult supervision and…"

Roadblock heard an explosion and the sound Todd's maniacal laughter. Roadblock dropped his phone.

"Roadblock? What's going on?" Lifeline asked, as he scooped up the phone.

"Oh Lord, that boy and _weapons_ are not a good combination!" Roadblock replied as he and Lifeline headed outside, "If he's gotten into the grenades…"

"Yes, Agent Hart, this is Lifeline. What's going on?"

"Todd's with me and Agent Todd and some other Joes at the firing range," Conrad replied, "The one for the rocket launchers…"

Lifeline cupped the mouthpiece of the phone and relayed the information. Roadblock's eyes just about bugged out of his head.

"RPGs!? Todd's gotten into the _**RPGs**_!" Roadblock shouted.

Lifeline said, "Hang on, we'll be right there."

After getting into one of the government sedans on the base Lifeline and Roadblock headed for the nearby firing range.

"Roadblock…(gasp)...slow down! Todd's got adult supervision!" Lifeline shouted as he fell behind.

"Fire in the hole!" Conrad's shout could be heard, and then the sound of a rocket firing…

* * *

**The Pit, Range Complex  
Todd, Kate, Conrad, Flint, Sci-Fi, Low Light  
****21 February 2002, 1315**

_Note to self,_ Kate thought, _Phrase __**very **__carefully about how Todd received a lesson in firing RPGs. _

Kate stood back as a Joe called Sci Fi was holding up a tubular weapon with a pistol grip handle. Three large green rockets were in a bag on his back.

"Now Todd, this is the RPG-7," Sci Fi began, "One of the most common rocket propelled grenade launchers on the planet."

"I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to explain _**this **_to Baer," Kate began.

"Well, you could always say he received a class familiarizing him with various RPGs," Conrad replied.

"I've never fired a weapon before," Todd began.

"Don't worry," Conrad said, turning briefly to address him, "that means you won't have any bad habits."

"You are making a good point," Kate said to Conrad, before tugging on his sleeve to whisper in his ear, "Are you sure you're not worried that the kid's learning about weapons?"

"He's on an Army base, surrounded by professionals. Nothing to be alarmed about," Conrad replied.

"I might disagree with you there, Hart," Kate replied, "I hope the kid doesn't think of leveling something like that at the Presidential Limo or Marine One."

She watched Conrad head over to Todd and Sci Fi.

Conrad guided Todd to a position where he had one knee on the ground, a practiced kneeling firing position before putting the launcher onto his shoulder.

"Good, now squeeze the trigger slow and easy," Sci Fi directed.

CLICK. Todd dry fired the launcher two more times before Sci Fi said, "You've got the concept down, kid. Now let's see you fire the real thing. See that junked car over there?"

"Yeah," Todd replied.

Conrad took one of the rockets and loaded it into the launcher, "Alright Todd, remember, check behind you before firing an RPG. The backblast can be fatal to anyone standing directly behind you."

Todd looked behind him, seeing nothing or no one there before Conrad tapped his shoulder shouting, "Fire in the hole!"

Todd squeezed the trigger and the rocket streaked downrange before exploding into the car.

"Direct hit! And you say you've never fired a weapon before?" Sci Fi said.

"I'm impressed," Flint replied.

"You guys are maniacs," Kate grumbled.

"BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" Todd shouted wildly.

After firing three more times, Todd hit the mangled metal remnants of the junked car precisely each time.

"How you do that?" Low Light asked.

"Easy, I just pretended that Magneto and Mystique were driving the car," Todd replied.

"See," Conrad turned to Kate, with a smile, "nothing to be alarmed about, he's got his aggression and training leveled in the right way."

"You're insane," Kate replied.

"Well, I wouldn't lose any sleep if Mystique and Magneto were blown into shards," Conrad replied.

"Are you sure you've never done this before?" Low Light asked Todd.

"Nope," Todd replied.

"Gentlemen, I believe we have a prodigy on our hands," Sci Fi said proudly.

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! _**NO!**_" Roadblock bellowed as he ran up to them, Lifeline gasping behind him, "There is no way you are going to teach that boy about weapons!"

"But he's good at it," Low Light protested.

"Aw! Come on!" Sci Fi protested.

"NO!" Roadblock shouted, grabbing Todd and dragging him back towards the car.

"You're no fun, Roadblock," Flint added.

"That was fun," Todd began, "Can I blow something else up now?"

"NO!" Lifeline and Roadblock said simultaneously.

"Lifeline…" Roadblock replied.

"Let's take him to my office," Lifeline replied, "I've got an idea."

"I'll try anything," Roadblock said.

Conrad and Kate followed them to the car and after a short ride back to the Infirmary they headed to Lifeline's office.

"Okay Todd, have a seat in that chair over there and relax," Lifeline said.

Todd did so and Lifeline placed his hands on Todd's temples, "Now I want you to relax. Don't be afraid."

Lifeline began to gently massage Todd's forehead, and his hands began to glow.

"What? Are you a mutant too?" Todd yelped.

"Sorry," Lifeline shook his head, "I may have healing abilities, but I don't have an X-Gene. Technically I'm not a mutant."

"Then what are you?" Todd asked, calming down.

"I don't really know," Lifeline replied with a shrug, "I just happen to have healing abilities. Now relax. That's right. Just close your eyes and think happy thoughts...Just relax…"

Soon Todd was snoring peacefully.

"Thank you," Roadblock said, carrying the sleeping boy out of the infirmary and back to their quarters.

* * *

**The Pit, The Mess Hall  
****Lifeline, Kate, Conrad, and Sergeant Slaughter  
****21 February 2002, 1400**

"I could use a cup of coffee right now," Lifeline said.

"Me too," Kate replied, and soon she, Conrad and Lifeline were on their way to the mess hall.

As they walked they happened to meet Sergeant Slaughter on the way, "So you finally got the kid to sleep, huh, Lifeline?"

"Yes, things should be back to normal now," Lifeline said.

"Why do I get the feeling that the other shoe is about to drop?" Kate replied.

"_Mademoiselle_, perhaps there is nothing to be alarmed about," Conrad began just as Lifeline opened the door.

"WHAT THE-?" Lifeline gasped with surprise.

There was water all over the cafeteria that formed into a mini-tidal wave that began to chase Beach Head before it overtook him and washed him away.

"SHIPWRECK!" Beach Head shouted.

"Don't look at me!" Shipwreck sputtered as he floundered in the water, "Blame BA!"

"Yahoo!" Althea shouted as she skimmed over the top of the water, "I love coffee!"

"Not again," Sarge groaned.

"I might well have been wrong," Conrad replied.

"We really got to get BA to put a warning label on his coffee," Lifeline added.

* * *

_Kate,_

_Please tell me that you're exaggerating about this entire coffee episode? It sounds like that boy and coffee are one dangerous combination. _

_I hope that minus the chaos you're doing well. I miss you so much. _

_I love you._

_Tim _

* * *

To Be Continued...


	21. Of Sundays, Margaritas, & Paper Ninjas

Of Sundays, Margaritas, and Paper Stealing Ninjas

Disclaimer: Same as before…

* * *

**The Pit, The Chapel  
****Caitlin Todd and Conrad Hart  
****24 February 2002, 0840**

"I didn't know you were Catholic," Kate began as she and Conrad walked to the small chapel on the Pit.

"Since birth," Conrad replied, "It was sort of reinforced by my time in the Legion too. After all France is traditionally a Catholic nation."

Kate nodded in acknowledgement as they approached the Church steps. Conrad opened the door and held it, "After you."

"You're too kind," Kate smiled.

"Dad raised me to be a gentleman after all," Conrad replied.

"Speaking of Dads," Kate replied, "What do you think of Roadblock?"

"One Hell of a Dad," Conrad replied, "Taking Todd under his wing like that. That's something he needs. Not to mention he balances out Todd's insane likely father-in-law."

"Aren't you being a bit premature?" Kate asked.

"Have you seen how the kids look at each other?" Conrad countered.

"Touché," Kate replied, as they neared a pew, "And on that note, you're one to talk about insane, Conrad. Seeing how you've gone native."

Conrad chuckled, "Well, _mademoiselle_, it is simply the way of the Legion to carry on and adapt to one's circumstances."

"Like I said, you're one to talk," Kate smiled, and then with a sigh added, "What a crazy week."

"Agreed, but it seems like this is the place Todd needs, even if it is a bit insane," Conrad replied.

"That's the understatement of the year," Kate laughed lightly, "But Todd seems to be healing here."

"Though he does need to be kept away from BA's coffee," Conrad replied.

"I agree, and definitely think _we_ shouldn't have drank it when we had to work late Saturday night," Kate replied.

"It was an all nighter," Conrad began.

"Still I think we _shouldn't _have had a cup of BA's coffee apiece," Kate replied, "I couldn't fall asleep for anything last night. Did you sleep at all?"

"Couldn't," Conrad said, "One, we were working late and two, BA's coffee."

"That was an act of desperation we should never repeat," Kate began.

"Agreed, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied with a wry grin.

Mass went on without a hitch, much to Kate's surprise. _An entire hour without some kind of insanity? Is the other shoe about to drop? Around here, I'm going to expect that._

"You seem deep in thought," Conrad observed after Mass.

"It's been quiet for over an hour," Kate replied, "I am really just expecting the other shoe to drop."

"And speak of the devil," Conrad quipped as Shipwreck and Quick Kick walked up to them.

"Hey guys," Shipwreck said, "What are you up to today?"

"Probably going to just get some lunch after Mass," Kate replied.

"Cool, mind if we join you?" Shipwreck asked, "I know just the place."

"Where would that be?" Conrad asked.

"Why Margaritaville of course," Shipwreck replied.

"I'd be down for Coconut Pete's personally," Quick Kick began.

"You always are," Shipwreck replied, "I am _banned_ from that place you know."

"Burning a restaurant down will do that to you," Kate quipped.

"Hey!" Shipwreck snapped, "There were extenuating circumstances behind that."

"Margaritaville sounds good," Conrad replied.

"It's doable," Quick Kick said.

"Sounds good," Conrad replied.

_Ok, maybe the other shoe isn't about to drop yet, _Kate thought to herself as she, Conrad, Shipwreck, and Quick Kick headed to the parking lot.

* * *

**The Pit, HQ Building Lounge  
****Roadblock and General Hawk  
****24 February 2002, 1045**

"Todd's progressing well with his fighting skills, sir," Roadblock began as he sat with Hawk drinking coffee in the HQ buildings' small lounge, "He gets faster and stronger every day."

"Stormshadow is very impressed with the boy's performance," Hawk replied in agreement, "Just the other day he told me in passing that the boy can watch a technique and learn in almost instantly by watching."

Roadblock smiled faintly, before he replied, "His schoolwork has been improving too."

"I'm sensing there's a 'but' somewhere," Hawk said as he sipped his coffee.

"Yes sir. It's his social skills I'm worried about," Roadblock replied, "He's not _intentionally _rude or anything along those lines. He's clueless when it comes to polite conversation and table manners. And the time he's spending around Shipwreck's family _**doesn't**_ help matters in that department."

Hawk nodded, as Roadblock continued, "Not to mention he's learned quite a few _**inappropriate**_ songs from the various soldiers around the cafeteria, not to mention some fairly profane French expressions from Agent Hart."

"Well you could say he's getting some foreign language training," Hawk said, "And speaking of Agents Hart and Todd I saw them get into a car with Shipwreck and Quick Kick earlier."

"Shipwreck told me he and Quick Kick were taking them to lunch at Margaritaville today," Roadblock said.

"One of the few places where Shipwreck is actually _welcome_," Hawk replied, "And that was only because he accidentally set fire to the Coconut Pete's across the street."

"Welcome is an understatement, sir," Roadblock replied, "Shipwreck gets the royal treatment from the staff at Margaritaville just about anywhere he goes thanks to that incident."

"Well, Shipwreck hasn't, to date, caused any damage to any Margaritaville restaurant," Hawk said, "Which has got to be some kind of record."

In retrospect General Hawk brought the events of 25 February 2002 upon himself. And he did so by uttering a single sentence in that conversation, "Why not have the boy work in my office a couple afternoons a week?"

Roadblock nearly dropped his coffee cup when he asked, "Are you sure?"

"I am sure," Hawk replied.

"What can he do?" Roadblock asked.

"Simple things that almost anyone can do, like filing and stapling," Hawk replied, "I could use all the help I can get."

"It's not that I don't like what you said," Roadblock said as he set his empty coffee cup down, "But what about Beach Head?"

"Don't worry, I'll personally watch the boy," Hawk assured him. "I think it would be good for the boy. It would teach him about protocol and give me a chance to get to know him a little. I pride myself on knowing things about everyone on this base. This sounds like a great opportunity."

"Well, let me think about it, sir," Roadblock said, "I do have to go pick up the kid. Thanks for the offer."

* * *

**Margaritaville Restaurant  
****Shipwreck, Quick Kick, Conrad, Kate  
****24 February 2002, 1149**

"Hey, Shipwreck's here!" shouted the host as Shipwreck, Quick Kick, Conrad and Kate walked into the restaurant's front waiting area.

"Right this way please," the host said, "And would you like your usual table?"

"That'll work just fine," Shipwreck said.

"They're really rolling out the red carpet for you here, Shipwreck," Kate observed.

"No surprise, profits for this place jumped up after Shipwreck burned down the Coconut Pete's across the street," Quick Kick commented.

"So tell me, Shipwreck, is there an establishment where you _haven't_ caused some sort of property damage?" Kate asked.

"Margaritaville," Shipwreck said as he made an order.

"Why does that not surprise me," Kate replied as she made her order.

_Provided nothing crazy happens at lunchtime maybe I can give Tim a call, _Kate thought to herself.

"This place isn't bad," Quick Kick said, "It's no Coconut Pete's but it's not bad."

"What are you having?" Kate asked Conrad.

"The Cheeseburger in Paradise, of course," Conrad replied, "A classic for Margaritaville and incidentally a damned good song."

"Which you were singing along to last night," Kate commented, "A change from your French Foreign Legion songs, or Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition."

"Well I'm not the only one who occasionally breaks into song in the shower," Conrad commented.

Quick Kick smirked, "So how do you guys know about the whole 'singing in the shower thing'?"

"Quick Kick, it's not what it sounds like!" Kate snapped.

Conrad chuckled before Kate fixed him with a glare, "How is that funny?"

"Well, I have to admit, _mademoiselle_ we did walk into that particular joke," Conrad replied.

"Especially around anyone like Shipwreck," Kate conceded.

"So _is _there something going on between you two?" Shipwreck asked.

"No!" Both Kate and Conrad replied simultaneously.

_Note to self, _Quick Kick thought, _Talk to Snow Job, Ace, and Shipwreck and start a betting pool about Agent Hart and Agent Todd. The way those two go on with each other..._

* * *

**The Pit, Delgato Residence  
****Shipwreck, Todd, Kate, Conrad, Roadblock, and Claudius  
****24 February 2002, 1315**

Conrad and Kate had met up with Roadblock at the front door of Shipwreck's house shortly after the lunch at Margaritaville.

Upon entering the house the sound of a baby giggling could be heard and as they walked into the kitchen they saw a total mess. There was applesauce splattered everywhere as Todd flung spoonfuls of it at Claudius who was sitting in his high chair.

"What are you doing?" Roadblock demanded.

"He started it," Todd replied.

"You started a food fight with a _toddler_?" Kate added.

Claudius gurgled happily.

"He threw applesauce at me first, so I figured…" Todd began.

"I get the picture," Roadblock sighed.

"I don't see why you're fussing about it," Shipwreck said, "That's usually more food than he gets in his mouth. I think the kid may be onto something."

"Food!" Claudius gurgled.

Todd threw a bit more applesauce at him and Claudius relished it, licking it off his flippers and face.

"Oh Lord…" Roadblock grumbled.

SPLAT!

_Great, now I've got a huge blob of applesauce in my hair, _Kate thought to herself as Roadblock coaxed Todd outside and back to the car.

* * *

_Agent Todd,_

_Just to let you know I will be at the Pit on Wednesday. I'll be accompanying an inspection with Generals Flagg, Whithalf, and Bragg. I will be very interested to hear some of your latest accounts on the Tolansky boy's progress._

_Agent Baer_

* * *

**The Pit, HQ Building Lounge  
****Roadblock, Kate, Conrad, and Lifeline  
****25 February 2002, 1400**

"Well," Roadblock said, as he poured himself some coffee, "I dropped the kid off at General Hawk's office."

"Uh-oh," Conrad replied.

"Why uh oh?" Kate interjected, sipping her own coffee.

"I, _mademoiselle_, have a sense of some sort of impending doom in the immediate future," Conrad replied.

"I agree with Agent Hart," Lifeline began, "And are you sure that putting Todd with General Hawk was a good idea? He might cause more trouble."

"I think Hawk can handle Toad," Roadblock said as he took a sip of coffee.

"I was talking about General Hawk!" Lifeline observed.

"Isn't that a bit of a stretch?" Kate asked.

"Not really, you should see how he has to be nagged into doing paperwork. He might not necessarily be a good influence on Toad in that department," Lifeline countered.

"I wouldn't worry," Roadblock said, "General Hawk is a responsible adult. He knows how to set a good example."

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
****General Hawk and Todd Tolansky  
****25 February 2002, 1415**

"Well, that's very impressive soldier," General Hawk blinked, "Very impressive."

Not even a minute ago Todd had licked three envelopes simultaneously. Hawk held up the envelope, noticing that it was dripping with slime.

"Uhm, I have a better idea," Hawk said, "How good are you at stapling…"

Another ten minutes passed, and the end of that length of time would see General Hawk pretending one of his spring loaded pens was a rocket.

"I hate paperwork. I'd rather be blowing something up," Hawk grumbled, "Huh? Toad!"

"What?" Toad said, sitting bolt upright and looking guilty. On his desk was a requisition form he had folded into a paper airplane.

Hawk stood up at his desk and walked over to him.

"Give me that," Hawk commanded, and Todd handed the paper airplane over to him.

"That's completely wrong. First off it's the folding that's all messed up. You're supposed to fold it like this," Hawk began, taking the airplane and unfolding it only to refold it into a more aerodynamic shape.

"See? _That's _how you make a paper airplane," Hawk replied, "Now get me another requisition form."

Todd complied and Hawk folded the form into yet another type of paper airplane.

"Wow! I've never seen that kind of paper airplane before," Todd exclaimed, eyes wide.

"This is what I call the B-29 Bomber," Hawk commented after throwing the paper airplane. It did several loop-de-loops.

"My own invention, and the best airplane by far," Hawk continued.

"I wanna make one, sir!" Todd whooped loudly.

* * *

**Meanwhile in the lounge:**

"Maybe we should check on them?" Lifeline offered.

"Nah," Roadblock said, "First of all I'm enjoying the peace and quiet. Besides it's not like they're gonna cause a riot."

Conrad, meanwhile, was tucked into his book _Triggerfish Twist _by Tim Dorsey. He glanced up to see Kate making a couple notes on her PDA before tucking it back into her backpack.

Conrad tucked his index finger into the page of his book before reaching into his own backpack and bringing out the hardcover book. Kate recognized it as the hardcover copy of Dr. Alan Grant's adventures on Isla Sorna.

"I finished it last night, so I figured you'd enjoy this one," Conrad offered.

"Thanks," Kate replied, "But don't bet on me finding the satellite phone in the Spinosaurus poop incident funny the way you do."

"I admit it was a rather shitty thing for me to laugh at," Conrad deadpanned.

"Somebody did say puns are the lowest form of humor," Kate replied as she took the book.

"But they do make people laugh," Conrad countered.

"I see your point," Kate replied, before looking at her watch, "Things are awfully quiet right now."

"Calm before the storm, in all likelihood, _mademoiselle_."

* * *

**In Hawk's Office:**

"This is Bomber One to Bomber Two," Hawk said as he made airplane noises, a paper airplane in one hand, "Come in Bomber Two."

"Roger Bomber One," Todd acknowledged as he flew his own paper airplane below and slightly behind Hawk's.

"This is Bomber Two," Todd continued, "Target in sight! Diving in for attack run!"

"Roger Bomber Two, you're covered!" Hawk replied.

"Annnnd bombs away!" Todd shouted, scattering paper everywhere, "KAPOW! BOOM!"

"Direct hit!" Hawk said, "Yee-ha! We got 'em!" Hawk scattered more papers as well.

* * *

**Back in the Lounge: **

"It's been over an hour," Kate commented as she looked at her watch again.

"Yes, so peaceful, isn't it?" Roadblock said with a smile.

"I have a feeling the other shoe is about to drop," Conrad replied.

"Honestly, I'm starting to agree with Conrad," Lifeline said.

"Is it really so impossible to have over an hour of peace and quiet around here?" Kate asked with a quizzical look.

"_How _long have you been on the Pit?" Lifeline asked.

"Maybe the peace and quiet is good for Todd," Kate replied as she put her now empty coffee mug into the sink and rinsed it off.

"He is getting a lot of good lessons here," Conrad nodded in agreement.

"Like how to work on a team," Roadblock said, "Hawk can definitely teach him that."

"No argument here," Lifeline said, "But maybe we should go check on them just in case?"

"Not a bad idea. I do need to let Hawk know about an email I got from Agent Baer," Kate replied.

* * *

**Back at the Office: **

"Look at the picture I drew," Todd said, holding up a drawing of an airplane bombing Mystique's car.

"That's nothing," Hawk said, holding up a paper crane, "Origami."

"Cool!" Todd said in admiration, before taking a crumpled up ball of paper and tossing it into the wastebasket.

"From downtown!" Todd shouted.

"Not bad, soldier," Hawk said with a grin, "Now let's see how you do with competition."

**Ten minutes later:**

"It's mine! All mine! HAA!" Hawk crooned as he ducked and weaved around Todd, sinking another crumpled form into the wastebasket from nearly halfway across the room.

"Ten points!" Hawk shouted, "And the crowd goes wild!"

"YAAAAYYYY!" Todd shouted.

Todd's shout echoed loudly down the hall as Conrad, Kate, Roadblock and Lifeline headed for Hawk's office.

"Told you," Conrad replied before throwing open the door without any preamble.

"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE!?" Roadblock bellowed.

Hawk and Todd were dancing around like they were playing some demented game of ring around the rosy. The office was covered with paperwork strewn haphazardly around the room.

"What happened? Who made this mess?" Lifeline asked.

"Ninjas!" Todd piped up.

"Yes!" Hawk added, "Cobra Ninjas! They snuck into here and started destroying files!"

"There were so many of them!" Todd said, "They wanted to steal all the papers!"

Then Todd started doing karate chop movements and kicks saying, "They went KWAH! and Hi-YAHHH!"

"They were all over the place!" Hawk continued, "We tried to stop them, but there were too many of them."

"There were five of them! KWAH!" Todd cried out.

"Ten of them!" Hawk continued, "They threw paper all over the place!"

"They wrecked the place! But we were able to chase them off!" Todd added.

"We were lucky to get away with our lives!" Hawk added.

"Uh-huh," Roadblock said with a withering glare.

"They're not buying this, are they?" Todd asked Hawk.

"No they're not," Hawk said with a sigh.

"Todd," Roadblock said, with a glare.

"Y-yes," Todd replied, shrinking under the glare.

"What did I tell you about making up wild stories?" Roadblock asked.

"Uhm, that they should have good endings?" Todd replied weakly.

Conrad chuckled only for Roadblock to face the ex-Legionnaire with a glare.

"That's what _**Shipwreck**_ told you," Roadblock snapped. "_**I **_told you it's wrong to tell lies."

"I'm gonna be on kitchen duty tomorrow, ain't I?" Todd replied.

"Oh yeah," Roadblock replied.

"Well Toad that's what you get for making up stories," Hawk whistled.

"Begging your pardon, sir," Lifeline said with his arms folded across his chest, "But the boy had an accomplice in all this…"

"Well, uhm," Hawk fidgeted, "You do have a point…"

_Now that's something you don't see every day, _Kate thought to herself. _Tim's probably going to think I belong in the mental institution after I tell him about this. _

"I mean I am the adult in charge and it was my responsibility and all that. I should have stopped this from the beginning and...and...uhm…" Hawk continued.

"AND?" Roadblock and Lifeline replied, with Todd adding a big and wide eyed gaze at him.

"And I have to face the consequences for my actions like any other soldier…" Hawk replied.

* * *

**The Pit, The Mess Hall  
****Hawk, Toad, BA, Conrad, Kate, and Shipwreck  
****26 February 2002, 0755**

"I thought I'd seen it all," BA began, "But this beats everything."

"That _**is **_a sight you don't see every day," Shipwreck said, "And that's why I'm getting it all on tape."

He held up a camcorder as he spoke. Scrubbing pots and pans were none other than Todd Tolansky and General Hawk, the latter wearing a hairnet as he did so.

"The things I do for my men…" Hawk grumbled.

Conrad set his tray onto the conveyor belt as he and Kate stepped out of the Mess Hall.

"I never thought I'd see something like this anytime in my life," Conrad commented.

"Neither did I and…" Kate replied as she heard the sound of her phone ringing.

As they stepped outside, Kate said, "I'll catch up, I have to take this."

"Alright," Conrad replied, "I'll see you back at the apartment."

Kate picked up the phone, smiling as she saw Tim's name and number on the phone's tiny display.

"Hey you," she beamed, "I love you too."

She listened to Tim for a moment, "Nothing I emailed you last night was made up. Thanks for telling me Baer's on the way and he'll be there tomorrow. I miss you."

Kate sighed softly, "Yeah, I wish you were going on the trip too."

She listened again, blushing, "Okay, but I think we'd _really _have to be sneaky to pull something like _that _off."

She closed her eyes, smiling with her blush deepening, "I'll definitely appreciate our Delayed Valentine's Day that much more, then."

With a wistful sigh, Kate added, "I love you."

Hanging up her phone Kate headed off to catch up with Conrad.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	22. We Three Generals, Part One

We Three Generals, Part One

Disclaimer: Same as before. The character of Rachel 'Rachet' Phillips is a product of my good friend Deric Storm's imagination (his penname is NoLeafClover).

Red Witch is the creator of Major General Bragg and General Whithalf. Lieutenant General Flagg is a G.I. Joe canon character who appeared in early comic and cartoon incarnations of G.I. Joe.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****27 February 2002, 0715**

"_Combien sont tombés au hasard d'un clair matin. De nos camarades qui souriaient au destin. __Nous tomberons en route, nous tomberons ou vaincrons au combat. Foulant la boue sombre, vont les képis blancs_."

The somber tone had caught Kate's attention as she walked past the ajar door of Conrad's bedroom to let him know breakfast was ready.

Kate knocked on the doorframe and Conrad stopped singing and headed for the door.

"Sorry to interrupt your one man concert, but breakfast is ready," Kate replied.

"Thank you," Conrad replied as he followed her back to their kitchen and dining room in the small apartment.

"You're welcome," Kate said with a small smile, "Personally I'm grateful that the fire department sirens woke us up earlier to tell us about BA's latest experiment in breakfast cooking going up in smoke."

"And not an insignificant amount of flame too," Conrad countered as he headed for the coffee maker and poured himself and Kate a cup of coffee apiece.

"What was that song you were singing?" Kate asked, as Conrad set the cups of coffee onto the breakfast table.

"_Kepi Blanc_. It's yet another Legion tune," Conrad replied.

Kate raised an eyebrow, "I know a kepi is some kind of hat and blanc means white."

"You're right," Conrad replied, "The kepi blanc is the white cap worn on formal parades by the Legion."

_I'm gonna be a walking expert on the French Foreign Legion after hanging around this guy, _Kate thought to herself.

"It's like an icon for the Legion?" Kate replied.

"Very much so," Conrad replied, "You can see that in refrain of the song which translates roughly as, 'Pacing the sombre mud, go the White Kepis'."

"How does the rest of that verse you sang translate?" Kate asked.

Conrad replied, "How many have fallen at random on a bright morning? Of our comrades who laughed at fate. We too will fall by the wayside, we will fall or conquer in battle. Pacing the sombre mud, go the White Kepis."

"Sounds kind of grim when you look at it," Kate replied with a slight shudder. She could hear the slight tremble in Conrad's voice as he translated the words."

"Most Legion songs tend to be," Conrad replied, the tremble in his voice gone, "In fact as we were learning the songs we noticed the common theme of defeat and death running through them, denoting the losses suffered by the Legion in war."

"As well as France's dismal fighting record since the days of Napoleon," Kate replied, taking a quick glance at her PDA to remind herself of when Agent Baer and his part were supposed to turn up..

"This is true," Conrad replied, taking a sip of his own coffee, "But it was more France's political establishment that lost those wars, their military is still quite formidable."

"Why do men stay in a force like the Legion?" Kate asked, "Especially _knowing _its history?"

"Because the Legion takes care of its own," Conrad replied, "Even after one's service. There is a town called Puyloubier where the Legion maintains a retirement home for ex-Legionnaires. A Legionnaire needn't return to a world that rejected him in the first place."

"What do they do there? Just live out their lives until the clock runs out?" Kate asked.

"They're not entirely idle," Conrad replied, reaching into a pocket.

Kate saw Conrad lay a badge onto the table, it was made of silver, and it sported a seven flamed grenade with the number 6 in the center of the device.

"The symbol of the 6th Foreign Engineer Regiment," Conrad replied, "My former unit. Made by an _ancien_."

"_Ancien?_" Kate asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Veterans of the Legion," Conrad replied, "referred to as _Les Anciens._"

"Oh," Kate replied, laying her PDA aside to give Conrad her full attention.

"I remember being sent on a detail there near the end of my service. I spoke to several veterans of Algeria, Indochina, and even World War II. Many of them were wounded in long forgotten battles, some of them amputees, who could only get around on prosthetic limbs or wheelchairs. The Legion still took pains to care for them."

"Looks like in this case they honor that saying 'French by spilled blood'," Kate replied, and sipped at her coffee, "So would you call on Puyloubier's services?"

"If I did find myself destitute, yes. But I've decided to take a chance in the world again," Conrad replied.

Kate reached over for her bagel as she said, "I hope it works out for you."

"Thank you, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, after taking a bite of his own bagel, and returning the warmth of Kate's smile.

_I still wonder __**why **__he chose to join the Legion in the first place,_ Kate thought to herself. _If nothing else I'm sure more indirect questions can get that answer from him. I wonder why do I care, though? _

Kate glanced at her watch, to break the silence, "Looks like Baer, your boss, and the three generals will be boarding the plane soon."

"Nothing like a visit from one's boss," Conrad quipped.

"Let's just hope BA doesn't give them a massive case of indigestion from his cooking," Kate replied.

"Or a heart attack if a recipe comes to life. Literally," Conrad said.

Kate laughed, "That too."

* * *

**Dulles International Airport  
****Washington D.C.  
****Agent William Baer and Agent Rachel Phillips  
****27 February 2002, 1230**

"You must be Agent Phillips," Agent William Baer began as he sat beside the slim bodied brunette.

"We've met before," Rachel Phillips replied coolly as she set down the copy of _Popular Mechanics_ she had been reading, "At the seminar on Law Enforcement cooperation?"

"Yes, earlier this month," Baer confirmed, "Your Agent Hart was there too."

"Yes, he was," Rachel replied, setting her magazine down.

"He's working with one of my agents, Kate Todd," Baer replied.

"I remember," Rachel replied, "She definitely seemed like a solid agent."

"She is, though I've been getting some weird reports from her lately," Baer said.

"So have I," Rachel replied, putting her copy of _Popular Mechanics_ aside.

"Out of curiousity what kinds of reports have you been receiving?" Baer asked.

"Well Conrad did send something about a joyride in a tank," Rachel replied.

"Kate sent a similar report," Baer replied, "But honestly that was tame compared to the some of her more recent things."

"He mentioned something about a gingerbread scorpion," Rachel offered, and at Baer's sidelong glance her way she added, "Of course I asked questions."

"This more recent story Kate sent me was about some coffee that their chef, BA, makes was something else," Baer replied.

"Conrad's report told me that the coffee evidently drove an anaconda crazy with one drop," Rachel replied, before noticing Baer turning his head.

She followed his gaze to find three men, all in civilian clothing heading their way. Baer pointed out the tallest of the three, his jet black hair neatly combed and flecked with gray, "That's Major General Flagg, of the three he's the one most familiar with G.I. Joe, being the head of the Pentagon's Special Projects Directorate."

"Major General?" Rachel said, "I'm not that familiar with military ranks. I know there are one, two, three and four star generals and that five star generals only existed in World War 2."

"Just remember the phrase, 'be my little general' for Brigadier General, Major General, Lieutenant General, and General," Baer replied with a grin.

"So Flagg is a two star, got it."

"Lieutenant General Bragg is from the Pentagon's Office of Sciences," Baer replied, indicating the stocky barrel chested fellow with a half crown of blond hair.

_That guy doesn't __**look**_ _like a scientist,_ Rachel thought to herself after Baer pointed him out.

Baer then indicated a fellow with graying black hair, who resembled a stand-in for Mr. Rogers talking animatedly with the barista behind a small coffee kiosk.

"That's General Roger Whithalf," Baer supplied, "He's said to be the most eccentric individual in the Pentagon."

After Whithalf had gotten his coffee, he joined Bragg and Flagg as the approached Baer and Rachel. And not a moment too soon, as the boarding call for their flight came over the PA system.

As they boarded the aircraft Rachel thought, _first class, these guys sure travel in style._

She hung back, and notice Baer did so as well, waiting to see that the three generals had taken their seats.

_Definitely fits Baer's Secret Service background, making sure the VIPs have their seats and then taking his own. _Rachel thought.

Presently Rachel and Baer had gotten their seats, right beside each other. As the plane took of Baer turned towards Rachel and asked, "So have you received reports about Shipwreck as well?"

"Several," Rachel replied, "To include his family."

"Kate seems to think, despite their lack of sanity at times, that they're a good influence on Tolansky."

"Conrad agrees as well, though I am gonna ask him about the whipped cream fight," Rachel said.

"What whipped cream fight?"

"It's gonna be a long story," Rachel warned as she reached over for her CD player, headphones and her copy of _Popular Mechanics._

"It is a long flight," Baer countered.

"In that case then…" Rachel began, with a sigh.

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
****General Hawk, Shipwreck, Conrad, and Kate  
****27 February 2002, 1300**

"What about the kids?" Hawk asked Shipwreck as they headed for the foyer of the Headquarters Building.

"Mine are in the dojo today, to include the littlest one," Shipwreck replied, "Stormshadow will keep 'em outta sight."

Duke and Scarlett approached with Conrad and Kate in tow, walking briskly from the Mess Hall where they had been eating lunch.

"I'm forgetting something, I know," Hawk said to himself as well as to Shipwreck.

"No time for that," Scarlett said "Agent Todd just got the phone call that Whithalf's group is about ten minutes from the front gate."

About twenty minutes later Hawk waited outside with Scarlet, Duke, Beach Head, Shipwreck, Conrad and Kate.

_Evidently you can take the Legionnaire out of the Legion but you can't take the Legion out of the Legionnaire. _Kate thought as she saw Conrad standing at the position of attention.

The rental car, a gray Chevy sedan, stopped in front of the Headquarters. Agent Baer, Generals Flagg and Bragg stepped out of the car. And after she put the car in park Rachel stepped out as well.

Hawk and the Joes presented their salutes and Kate saw Conrad reflexively begin to move his arm as well before stopping.

"Old habit?" Kate smirked.

"Yes," Conrad replied, "years old habits do die hard."

"Gentlemen," Hawk said, "Welcome to the Pit."

"Clay, thank you for your hospitality," Flagg began, using Hawk's first name.

"I hope it was a good flight from D.C., sir," Hawk replied.

"It wasn't bad at all," Flagg said, "The jetlag isn't nearly as bad as flying halfway around the world."

As Flagg, Bragg, and Hawk continued to exchange pleasantries Hawk managed a sidelong glance at his subordinates.

"Where's General Whithalf?" Kate asked, "Wasn't he supposed to be with this group?"

"It looks like he pulled off one of his infamous disappearing acts," Beach Head groaned, "It figures…"

"Disappearing acts?" Kate asked.

"I didn't stutter," Beach Head said, "Whithalf pulled off one of his disappearing acts."

"Let's just say General Whithalf's background in special operations means he's good at disappearing," Scarlett supplied, "And he tends to enjoy wandering around and surfacing in the damndest places after said disappearing acts."

"I just remembered something," Shipwreck said as he joined the sidebar conversation, taking a quick glance over his shoulder.

"Not now, Shipwreck, we've got bigger problems!" Beach Head snapped.

"Ok, smart guy," Shipwreck snapped back, "Where's Toad?"

"Oh crap," Beach Head replied, "Please tell me it _wasn't _one of his days to be working in General Hawk's office?"

"I thought you knew," Scarlett replied, before turning to Shipwreck, "Didn't you send him on an errand?"

"No, I thought you did!" Shipwreck replied, as he took another glance, noticing Rachel and Baer were also looking around as discreetly as they could manage.

"I didn't!" Scarlett replied, "I thought _you_ did!"

"Oh great, he wandered off again!" Beach Head grumbled, a bit too loudly.

"Who wandered off again?" Baer asked as he joined the conversation, with Rachel at his heels.

"General Whithalf," Shipwreck quickly interjected.

"Great, not again," Baer groaned.

Rachel joined them as they spoke, "I don't know where Whithalf wandered off to."

"We'll help find him," Kate quickly offered, glancing off to one side, noticing Hawk was still deep in conversation

"Is this normal?" Rachel asked, as Kate and Conrad took the opportunity to make a hasty yet discreet exit.

"This happens more often than you think," Baer said.

* * *

**The Pit, The Motorpool  
General Whithalf and Todd Tolansky  
****27 February 2002, 1354**

"And this is the motorpool, sir," Todd began as he guided Whithalf into the fenced in compound where G.I. Joe kept its vehicles.

As they walked down a line of tanks Whithalf said, "I started my career in the Armor branch, driving tanks."

"I've driven a tank, sir," Todd blurted. And then he immediately turned red. _Man, I shouldn't have said that around a general! Hawk's gonna kill me! _

"Really?" Whithalf said, a small grin on his face, "How was it?"

"I wasn't exactly _supposed_ to be driving it," Todd replied, embarrassed.

"You mean you took the tank for a joyride?" Whithalf asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Erhm, uh," Todd replied.

"Answer me, soldier," Whithalf urged.

Reluctantly Todd told the story of what practically everyone at the Pit was now calling Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

Whithalf let out a great belly laugh, "Well, boy, I honestly have a hard time trusting a tanker who hasn't taken a joyride or two as a youth."

"R-really?" Todd asked.

"Of course!" Whithalf said, "A tanker who has a joyride or two to his name laughs in the face of obstacles, mines, and enemy tanks!"

As they walked down the line of tanks Whithalf absently began to hum a tune.

_I recognize that tune, _Todd thought. _I've heard Agent Hart whistle it a couple times._

"Something the matter?" Whithalf asked, seeing Todd's brow furrow.

"No sir, I just recognized the tune," Todd replied.

* * *

**The Pit, The Motorpool  
****Kate and Conrad  
****27 February 2002, 1415**

"Without a vehicle they can't have gotten far," Conrad began as he and Kate walked down one line of parked tanks.

"I just hope Todd doesn't get into another tank again," Kate replied, "A repeat of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is something we _don't _need."

"I agree, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied with a wry grin.

As they walked down the line a bit further Kate asked, "So I'm curious about something."

"What is it?" Conrad asked, coming to a stop and turning to face her.

Kate stopped as well and turned to face the ex-Legionnaire, "So what happens to ex-Legionnaires when they leave the Legion?"

Conrad smirked, "A _Sergent-chef_ once said the following, 'They go insane, they go to jail, they die, they become alcoholics or they fight in other people's wars'."

"I hope none of those things happen to you," Kate replied after they resumed walking.

"One war was enough," Conrad replied, "I do enjoy the odd pint every now and again, I've got no intention of going to jail, and we all die sometime."

"What about going insane?" Kate asked, "I notice you left _that _option out."

"What was it that Lewis Carroll said? Ah, 'We're all mad here'."

"I could argue, though, that you are going insane by going native with the Joes," Kate smiled.

Conrad laughed, "Law school most certainly left its mark on you."

"In the same way the Legion left its mark on you," Kate joked.

As they walked further down the line, near the end of it they could hear voices on the other side of one of the parked tanks. Well, more like a tune being hummed and Todd's voice.

"No sir, I just recognized the tune," Todd said.

Conrad tugged at Kate's sleeve and headed around the side of the tank to find General Whithalf and Todd in the middle of a conversation.

"Where do you recognize the tune?" Whithalf said, stopping his humming.

"From Agent Hart, he said it was from the French Foreign Legion," Todd replied, "The song was called _Kepis Blanc._"

"Huh, I'd always thought that it was the tune to the German song _Panzerlied_ or tanker's song," Whithalf replied.

"Actually, _mon general, _you are both right," Conrad said as he and Kate walked towards them.

"Excuse me?" Whithalf said.

"The Legion tune, _Kepis Blanc_, borrows the tune of _Panzerlied_. The Legion added it to the songbook in the 1940s owing to the large number of Germans we had in the ranks at the time," Conrad replied.

"I did not know that," Whithalf replied, with a small grin, "And I'll hazard a guess that you served in _La Legion Etrangere_."

"_Oui, mon general,_" Conrad replied, "I apologize, I have been remiss. I am Agent Conrad Hart, ACME Detective Agency and this is Agent Kate Todd, US Secret Service."

"Charmed," Whithalf said, shaking both of their hands.

"Sir," Kate interjected, "The others are looking for you two."

"Let's not keep them waiting then," Whithalf said, "Lead the way."

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
****Generals Hawk, Flagg, and Bragg  
****27 February 2002, 1433**

General Hawk clenched his jaw to prevent his surprise from showing when he saw General Whithalf walking into the room. To be much more accurate the shock was from who was escorting him.

"Ah, here we are!" A booming, yet friendly voice called out.

Hawk could see Todd Tolansky walking alongside him, with Conrad and Kate in tow. _Hopefully Agent Todd and Agent Hart can get Toad out of there without any more incident. _Hawk thought.

"Gentlemen, sorry I'm late," Whithalf said as he approached Hawk, Bragg and Flagg, "But I was having a wonderful conversation with this young man, here. Private...Tonelessly was it?"

"Tolansky, sir!" Todd replied.

"Oh, at ease, private," Whithalf replied, "Quite a bright fellow."

"I must be getting old," Bragg muttered, "These new recruits look younger every year."

"Yes," Flagg said, raising an eyebrow, "He doesn't seem old enough for the Army."

"Never too young to serve my country when called, sir!" Todd countered.

"Kind of short to be a soldier, isn't he?" Flagg replied, turning to Hawk.

"Height requirements were lowered last year, sir," Hawk replied, remembering that that had, indeed been the case.

"Oh, of course," Bragg replied, before turning to Flagg, "I'm surprised you forgot that, sir."

The Bragg snapped his fingers at Scarlett, "Alright girl, come get the coffee."

"What!?" Scarlett shouted.

_She is going to kill him and get blood all over the place, _Hawk thought.

"Uh, sir!" Todd spoke up, "That's my job, sir! I do the coffee!"

Hawk caught sight of Conrad and Kate out of the corner of one eye. If those two had been a touch faster with sneaking Todd away…

"I live to serve coffee, sir!" Todd continued.

"Quite right," Whithalf interjected, "Come on, now, Bragg. This soldier has other, more important, duties to tend to. Come in, private. We wouldn't want to deprive you of your duty."

"Thank you, sir!" Todd replied.

As the three generals filed into the conference room, with Agent Baer discreetly following them, Hawk hung back briefly as he thought. _I'm gonna spend the rest of my life in Levenworth. _

"Uh, is there anything I can do to be of service, sir?" Beach Head managed to squeak out.

"Sorry Soldier," Bragg replied, "But National Security. You understand. We have to keep this meeting top secret. Okay, private, you may serve the coffee."

As Bragg nodded to Todd the latter walked into the room. And Beach Head promptly saw his career going down in _flames_ as Todd closed the door behind him, a smile on his face, before locking it.

The Joes in the room, in company with Agents Phillips, Todd, and Hart stared at the door in silence for what felt like hours.

"Okay did what just happen really happen? Or did I imagine it?" Shipwreck asked.

"My career is over," Beach Head groaned.

* * *

To Be Continued...

Author's Notes: Panzerlied is a German Army tanker's song that has crossed quite a few national boundaries. It is also said to have influenced the song Kepis Blanc, a French Foreign Legion song.

Additionally the line about Legionnaires post service in the Legion going insane, going to jail, dying, becoming alcoholics, or mercenaries is from Paradraig O'Keefe's book _Hidden Soldier _which is a good read.


	23. We Three Generals, Part Two

We Three Generals: Part Two

Disclaimer: Same as before.

* * *

**The Pit**, **Conference Room  
****Generals Hawk, Bragg, Flagg, and Whithalf  
****27 February 2002, 1605**

_Thank God Flagg hasn't said __**anything**_ _yet regarding Todd, _Hawk thought to himself. _Lord, please, please, __**please**_ _let me make it through this meeting! I will never, ever, do anything bad again. _

"Before we adjourn, General Hawk," Bragg asked, "I'd like to ask about this mutant school that you found."

Todd's ears perked up and he narrowly avoided dropping the coffee cup to the floor.

"Professor Xavier runs a small school in New York where he trains mutants to use their powers for the good of mankind," Hawk replied, noting the look of recognition on Todd's face.

"Hmph! The only good mutant is a dead mutant," Bragg said, before folding his arms.

"Sir," Hawk began, "these aren't creatures created in a lab, like all Cobra experiments are. They're just children who happen to be born with these abilities."

"Poor things," Whithalf thought, "I mean they can't _help _being what they are."

"We're monitoring them for now," Hawk explained, "I have some of my people undercover inside the high school they attend. We have reason to believe Cobra is trying to infiltrate the school to use the mutants for their own means."

Agent Baer had hung back, watching the conversation among the four generals. _This is new to me. Hawk and his people get results, so I'm not too worried about it...yet. _

"I still don't see why we don't just grab those freaks and put them behind bars where they belong," Bragg replied.

"Well, it's pretty obvious," Whithalf said, "They haven't done anything wrong. Have they?"

"I don't see why we can't just grab them and put them behind bars. Fortunately very few people know that these freaks walk the earth. The fewer the better!" Bragg replied.

"No thanks to you," Hawk muttered under his breath.

"What?" Bragg asked.

"I said 'That's true'," Hawk replied calmly.

"Reminds me of that blasted Moreauseau incident," Bragg huffed. "It's a good thing we wiped out those survivors."

"You wiped out those survivors!" Hawk exclaimed, standing up from his chair, "They were only civilians! They were sick and dying and you…"

Hawk stopped when he saw the shock on Todd's face.

"Only because your men were too gutless to do the job," Bragg countered as he stood up as well.

"I must confess I never understood why you ordered their deaths, Bragg," Whithalf said softly. "There was no reason for it. They were no threat."

"They had to be eliminated before they _**became**_ a threat!" Bragg snapped, slamming an open palm onto the table, "They were too useless to experiment on. They would've been terminated anyway. I'm sick of justifying myself to you all. The board cleared me."

"Yes. But mass genocide doesn't go well with public opinion, does it?" Flagg replied.

"There were only fourteen of them, hardly genocide," Bragg sniffed.

"Only fourteen?!" Hawk snapped back, "Only _fourteen!?_"

"Careful Hawk," Bragg replied, "I outrank you and I could…"

"Gentlemen this conversation is irrelevant," Flagg replied, only to be ignored by the others.

"I don't know," Whithalf replied thoughtfully, "If Bragg decides to bomb the town of Bayville just to eliminate a few children it could very well become relevant! It wouldn't be the first time he's done it."

"Now wait just a minute you…" Bragg began.

"Quiet!" Whithalf snapped back, "Let's not forget that _**I **_outrank _**you**_. I suggest you remember that."

Quiet descended on the room and then Whithalf continued, "Now, let's get back to the subject at hand. I am sure Hawk has the situation handled. With him at least we know the students will stay alive."

"Hmph! Too soft!" Bragg snapped, "Of course you even have a couple muties living on base now, don't you Hawk? Those Delgato brats in particular! That eldest girl, a stuck up little bitch. Should be in a lab someplace instead of running free!"

The sound of a coffee cup shattering echoed into the room.

"What the…?" Bragg said as he turned around to see Todd drop to his knees to clean up the shattered remains of the cup.

_How can anyone say such horrible things about Althea? _Todd thought. _I can't believe I'm serving coffee to that...that...that __**monster**__!_

"He's in shock over your language," Whithalf observed.

"He's very new," Hawk added.

"Well he has to learn the facts sometime," Bragg huffed, before he turned to Toad. "You agree with me, don't you boy? Those sneaky mutants are nothing but trouble. Deadly if left unchecked. Am I right?"

"Oh yes sir," Todd spoke in a monotone as he stood up to throw away the remains of the broken coffee cup, "You can never tell when one of those sneaky mutants will turn up."

Todd headed back over to the coffee, grabbing another cup. An evil grin spread across his face as he turned away, his back to the men as he poured a cup of coffee. Extending his tongue he allowed a generous amount of slime to mix with the coffee.

Walking over he handed the cup to Bragg, "More coffee, sir."

"Don't mind if I do," Bragg said, taking a generous swig of it.

Although neither Bragg or Whithalf witnessed Todd's prank, Hawk and Flagg witnessed the entire thing, thanks to a large screen in the conference room.

"Um, how's the coffee, sir?" Hawk asked, with a minor gulp.

"Good. I say it's the best cup yet," Bragg said.

"That's nice," Hawk gulped, "So, meeting adjourned?"

"Good idea," Flagg nodded.

"I need one more cup of coffee for the road," Bragg said, before turning to Todd, "Private, I want you to make it exactly as it did before."

Flagg fixed Todd with a knowing look and as his heart raced Todd thought, _The jig is up._

"You heard the man," Flagg said, "Do as he says."

"Yes sir," Todd replied, grinning back and doing exactly as he did earlier, turning around to hide his sliming of Bragg's coffee.

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
****Beach Head, Scarlett, Shipwreck, Roadblock  
****27 February 2002, 1605**

"My career is over. My career is over..." Beach Head replied.

"Beach Head, calm down," Scarlett said, "Maybe Hawk will pull it off."

"Yeah, and maybe Cobra Commander will give up being a terrorist and sell toys for a living while wearing a pink Tinkerbell outfit!" Beach Head snapped back. "Why couldn't you have served the coffee? Would it have killed you to serve coffee _just this once!?_"

Roadblock walked into the room just then, "What's Beach Head ranting about now?"

Beach Head ignored Roadblock as he continued to address Scarlett, "What am I saying!? You would've poured the coffee into his lap _**before**_ shooting him! I should've served the coffee! Why didn't I think of it? Why couldn't _**I **_have thought about pouring coffee!? AGH!"

"Where's Todd?" Roadblock asked, "He is scheduled to be working in General Hawk's office this afternoon. Did one of you manage to sneak him out before the generals arrived?"

"Roadblock, don't hit the roof but…" Shipwreck began.

"Shipwreck, out with it. Where is Todd?" Roadblock replied.

Shipwreck gestured to the door of the conference room. And as Roadblock's eyes followed Shipwreck's gesture two words immediately sprang to mind. _Oh no! _

"What are we gonna do?" Roadblock began.

"Drink?" Shipwreck said as he produced a bottle of scotch from his backpack, as well as several shot glasses.

"Yeah, the occasion definitely calls for it," Beach Head replied.

"I'll have one too," Scarlett replied as Shipwreck poured shots for the four of them.

"What's going on?" Kate asked as she walked into the room.

"Roadblock just realized Todd's in the conference room with Hawk and the visiting generals," Scarlett supplied.

"Oh, I suppose that's the reason for the drinking," Kate replied.

"Look, Agent Todd, we wouldn't even _be _in this predicament if you and Agent Hart hadn't found Todd and General Whithalf wandering around the motor pool," Beach Head hissed.

"What did you want us to do, separate those two?" Kate asked, "Or deliberately not find them?"

"Both ideas have merit," Beach Head replied.

"And I suppose Todd being in the conference room is cause for drinking scotch?" Kate asked.

"Yes," Beach Head replied.

"Great, we were _trying_ to calm Beach Head down and now you've got him wound up," Shipwreck grumbled, before holding up another glass, "Drink?"

"No thanks," Kate replied. _Thank God Baer's in the conference room and can't see this going on. Or that he hasn't seen anything __**else**_ _that's gone on around this base...to include BA's experimental recipes._

* * *

**The Pit, Outside the HQ Building  
****Conrad Hart and Rachel Phillips  
****27 February 2002, 1610**

"So that's how Whithalf and Todd were found and brought back to the building," Conrad replied.

_And I thought the Berserkers had crazy stories. _Rachel thought to herself as she heard Conrad retelling various accounts of his two weeks at the Pit.

"Alright, now I just have to ask, what's the deal with this incident I heard you talking about?" Rachel asked.

"Which one?" Conrad replied, "You'll have to be more specific."

"I overheard you and Agent Todd mentioning something about the Triplets and the Delgado household," Rachel replied.

Conrad inclined his head, "Excuse me?"

"Your hearing acting up again?"

"Just went out briefly," Conrad replied, "Now what was the question again?"

"I remember you sent a report a while back about Shipwreck and his family, to include the Triplets. You seem to believe that they are a good influence on Todd."

"I believe this to be the case, yes," Conrad replied, squinting in the late afternoon sun.

"You seemed a bit vague about a couple points," Rachel replied, "Namely some line about 'settling disputes in the traditional Delgato manner'?"

_D'oh! I shouldn't have written that line in the report. Merde. _Conrad thought to himself before replying, "The Delgato family don't hold anything back from each other, they don't have secrets, and they do love each other greatly."

"Mayberry description aside, you still didn't tell me what you meant about 'settling disputes in the traditional Delgato manner'."

With a sigh Conrad said, "I was afraid you'd persist on that line of questioning. But they tend to resolve disputes with whipped cream fights."

"What!?" Rachel asked.

"Exactly what I said, whipped cream fight."

"Is this an Army unit or a madhouse?"

"My thoughts exactly," Conrad said as they filed back into the HQ building. As they headed towards the lounge they could hear the sound of still more animated discussion.

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
****Beach Head, Scarlett, Shipwreck, Kate and Roadblock  
****27 February 2002, 1633**

"I go to Greenland. I go to jail," Beach Head said as he began tapping his right index finger against his left middle and index fingers alternately, "I go to Greenland. I go to jail. I go to Greenland...Aw who am I kidding, I'm headed for the Big House!"

"Beach Head, calm down, you're not going to the Big House," Roadblock replied.

"You bet I'm not!" Beach Head countered, "Maybe if I confess, tell them everything, I can cut a deal!"

"Don't even think about it!" Shipwreck said as he stood up.

"Try and stop me!" Beach Head said as he stood up to head for the conference room.

"Oh you bet I will!" Shipwreck said, grabbing Beach Head by one arm.

"Hey, come on! Both of you!" Scarlett snapped.

"Cool it, Beach Head!" Kate snapped, narrowly stepping out of the way as Beach Head and Shipwreck began wrestling with one another, "Whoa!"

Beach Head turned around, just barely intercepting the punch that Shipwreck threw. As they continued wrestling around Roadblock and Scarlett tried to split them up.

"Will you guys knock it off!" Kate exclaimed, "_Before _they hear you in the conference room."

Conrad and Rachel walked into the room just then.

"What the Hell?" Rachel exclaimed as Shipwreck and Beach Head hit the ground and started rolling around.

The conference door creaked open and in rather rapid order Shipwreck and Beach Head rapidly disentangled themselves and rose to their feet. The generals seemed to be having a genial time as they walked by, nodding and talking.

"They're smiling," Shipwreck whispered to the others.

"Smiling's good," Beach Head gulped in agreement.

"Maybe he did pull it off?" Scarlett replied.

"It looks like it," Kate replied.

"Unless there's something missing," Rachel added.

"Todd looks a bit scared," Conrad whispered to Roadblock.

"Gentlemen, why don't you go on ahead," Flagg said, "I've got a few things I'd like to go over with General Hawk."

Whithalf nodded and indicated for Bragg and Baer to follow him outside. As soon as they were outside Flagg walked over to Todd who promptly came to attention, with a nervous smile.

"Interesting technique, Soldier," Flagg said with a slight grin, "I'm gonna let this slide. For now. But I'm going to be watching you. General Hawk, we're going to need to have a little discussion."

"My office?" Hawk said.

"Oh yes," Flagg replied. And the two men headed towards Hawk's office for just that discussion.

"What did you do!?" Beach Head demanded.

"I knew it was too good to be true," Roadblock sighed.

"What. Did. You. _**Do**_!?" Beach Head demanded as he advanced on Todd.

"Back off!" Roadblock replied, stepping between the cringing Todd and the enraged Beach Head.

Then Roadblock turned to face Todd, "Well?"

Todd gulped, his eyes flickering to each face in the room.

"Todd," Conrad replied, "Tell us what you did?"

"I...I...I…" Todd stammered.

"Out with it!" Beach Head replied.

"Beach Head, stop!" Kate interjected.

"I...I...slimed General Bragg's coffee," Todd replied, "But only Hawk and Flagg saw me do it!"

"YOU DID _**WHAT**_!?" Beach Head demanded, nearly on the verge of a heart attack.

"You slimed Bragg's coffee?" Shipwreck yelped, color draining from his face.

"I had too!" Todd protested, "He said bad things about mutants! He called Althea a bad name!"

"What? What did he say?" Shipwreck asked.

"I can't say it out loud," Todd replied, shuffling his feet. "It was really bad."

"So whisper it then," Shipwreck replied. Todd leaned over and whispered it in Shipwreck's ear. The sailor turned red with anger.

"AND YOU ONLY SLIMED HIS COFFEE!?" Shipwreck roared.

* * *

**The Pit, General Hawk's Office  
****Generals Hawk and Flagg  
****27 February 2002, 1744**

"Well Hawk," Flagg said, as Hawk closed the blinds of the office, "I thought I'd seen everything. I mean you and your team have pulled some bizarre stunts. But this one has rapidly become my favorite. Don't get me wrong, it was well worth it to see Bragg drink the coffee…"

"An explanation is probably overdue, sir," Hawk replied.

"You think?" Flagg countered. "Okay. From the beginning, who or what is Private Tolansky? If he is in fact a private to begin with."

"He's only fifteen," Hawk began, "And yes, he is a mutant."

"I figured that part on my own," Flagg replied, "So where did you get him?"

"Maybe you'd best sit down sir, it's a bit of a story," Hawk begin.

"Enlighten me," Flagg replied.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	24. Return to Darkness

Return to Darkness

Disclaimer: Same as before…

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
Todd Tolanksy and Roadblock  
27 February 2002, 1815**

"Roadblock, I couldn't help it!" Todd pleaded as he sat on the sofa. "I heard what he said, and how he killed those mutants you told me about!"

Tears streamed down the boy's face, "And she he said that...that...that...word about Althea I just snapped! I just couldn't take it! I couldn't!"

"Calm down, boy!" Roadblock snapped. As Todd whimpered, Roadblock softened his tone, "Look, I couldn't tell you what happened because...well, I didn't want you to hate all humans. And it wasn't the army that killed them, it was Bragg's personal firing squad of mercenaries that did it."

"Why? Why did Hawk turn them over to him?" Todd sniffled.

"Hawk was ordered to turn them over to Bragg for medical treatment. He had no idea that Bragg's idea of medical treatment was euthanasia…" Roadblock began.

"There was a cover up, wasn't there?" Todd concluded.

"Hawk tried to bring him down," Roadblock sighed. "He's still trying. But Bragg's got too much influence around Washington D.C. Wouldn't surprise me if he was blackmailing some of them. Which is why you can't take risks like that! You were lucky that Flagg hates Bragg as much as Hawk does!"

"I got Hawk in trouble, didn't I?" Todd replied, glumly, eyes growing wide. "I didn't mean too!"

"Well, what's done is done," Roadblock sighed as he sat beside Todd on the sofa. "Look, for what it's worth, I understand why you did it. Hell, if I were in your position I would have done the same thing."

Roadblock paused for a moment before adding, "But you've _got_ to be careful around other people. _Especially _non-Joes! Understand?"

"Are they gonna take me away?" Todd asked, shaking.

"No," Roadblock said, as he hugged him. "I'd never let them do that to you. I promise. Now, I'll find out what happened, but knowing Flagg it's likely that nothing will come of this. Why don't you do some homework, ok?"

"Okay," Todd said as he nodded feebly and went on to his room.

Somehow he managed to work through a couple algebra problems, even with Bragg's hurtful words ringing through his head. He didn't know that those same cruel words would trigger far more than a petty desire for revenge via a stomach turning prank...

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
William Baer and Caitlin Todd  
27 February 2002, 1815**

"So how do you find working with Agent Hart?" Baer asked Kate as they stood outside the Headquarters building of the Pit.

"It's an interesting experience. If nothing else I'm learning more facts about the French Foreign Legion than I ever thought I'd learn," Kate replied.

"That wasn't what I was getting at, Agent Todd," Baer began, indicating Agents Phillips and Hart who were talking out of earshot of them near the flagpole.

"Then what were you getting at?" Kate asked, before it clicked, "You want to know if I assess Conrad as any sort of threat, right?"

"Right. After all he has training in explosives and demolition, combat experience, and served in the armed forces of another nation..." Baer began.

"Another nation that is fighting alongside us in Afghanistan," Kate replied.

"Point made, but I still would like your initial assessment on Hart," Baer insisted, "Given his background before he joined the Legion included being booted out of the San Diego State University NROTC program during his senior year. It was in his dossier."

With a sigh Kate replied, "I don't assess him as a threat. And honestly he really hasn't said anything about the past."

"That could be an indicator."

"I don't think that fact by itself indicates him as a threat, but I'll keep an eye on anything suspicious."

"Good," Baer replied, eyes scanning over and noticing that Flagg walked out of the building with General Hawk in tow as he went to speak with the others.

Meanwhile Conrad and Rachel were talking near the flagpole.

"How have you found working with Agent Todd?" Rachel asked.

"Not bad, I find her to be an observant, inquisitive sort of person," Conrad replied, eyes narrowing, "Why?"

"I'll be straight with you, Conrad. Baer requested your dossier, all of it," Rachel replied.

"Why?" Conrad asked.

"Well, think about it, Hart," Rachel replied, "To the Secret Service you're an enigma, an American who served eight years in the French Foreign Legion who joined up after some unpleasant circumstances after college. You have training in explosives and demolitions, combat experience, they would _have_ to view you as a potential threat."

"Kate hasn't mentioned anything of that to me," Conrad countered.

"No reason she would, but I'd be careful about what you bring up around her."

"If it's in my file and it comes up, I'll answer truthfully. That's the best I _can _do."

"Alright, Conrad, that's good enough. Just be careful."

"Right."

Rachel glanced over, noticing Baer and the three generals starting to head for the car to the airport.

"I've got to get going," Rachel said, "Keep me appraised at what's going on."

Conrad nodded, and as the generals departed with Rachel and Baer in tow, he headed back over to Kate.

"So, should we chance the mess hall for dinner or break into the food supply?" Conrad asked.

"I'd say avoid the mess hall," Kate replied, "I caught a glimpse the main menu item. It's BA's Fourteen Alarm Chili."

"I'd say that's grounds for it," Conrad replied as they headed back to the apartment.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****27 February 2002, 1915**

Kate put her own plate onto the table shortly after Conrad had done so. The former Legionnaire seemed deep in thought to her, as she noticed his eyebrows scrunched together. _Maybe a softer line of questioning might work in this case._

"So where did you go to college?" Kate asked.

"San Diego State University," Conrad replied, looking up, "Why do you ask?"

_He's no idiot, of course he would pick up on a soft line of questioning. I can't believe Baer would be so suspicious of Hart. But I do have to exercise my due diligence. _Kate thought to herself as Conrad regarded her for a few moments.

With a sigh Kate replied, "I'm not going to lie to you, Conrad. My boss, Agent Baer, has a few misgivings about you."

With a slight and mirthless laugh Conrad replied, "No doubt due to my service in the French Foreign Legion, training in demolitions and mining from the Legion, and my past history at San Diego State."

"Well attending San Diego State and being kicked out of its NROTC unit are both in your file."

"This is true, _mademoiselle_, but let it be known that I am no threat. I did pay the price for the hot headed indiscretion of earlier years," Conrad replied, and tapped the scars near his left ear as emphasis.

"But..." Kate began. Conrad raise his left hand.

"If you'll allow me to finish, I am no threat. I have no further way other than my own word to tell you so."

"No offense, Conrad, but while I believe you, my superiors in the Secret Service probably might have a few reservations about taking you at your word."

"I have no grievances as my misfortune all those years ago was entirely of my making. And I paid the price for it."

"Alright. I'll make sure my reports to Baer indicate as much."

"Thank you," Conrad replied.

Shortly after they'd finished eating Conrad headed over to the refrigerator and withdrew a bottle of Courvoisier.

"Care for a drink? I do believe it's been that sort of day," Conrad replied.

"You developed a taste for cognac in the French Foreign Legion?" Kate asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"From one of my old mates, Count Holck," Conrad replied.

"You had members of European nobility in the Legion?" Kate asked, incredulous.

"Throughout its history a few such folks have joined our ranks, usually fleeing some kind of conflict," Conrad began, "In Holck's case that was a nickname we had for him. He was a former officer in the East German Army and when that country ceased to exist the new German Army had no place for him. So naturally the Legion was a refuge."

"How did he wind up with the nickname of Count Holck?" Kate asked.

"Because he was an officer in another country's army, our NCOs gave him that nickname out of sarcasm."

"Was he an actual Count?"

"Funny story behind that: one of the guys researched his last name and it turned out he _is_ a descendant of former Prussian nobility," Conrad replied.

"Let me guess, he finished his contract or deserted and went back to his estate in Germany and is now drinking cognac in a smoking jacket?"

"Nope, his part of Germany, East Prussia, was annexed by the Soviets after World War II. It doesn't exist any more. So as far as I can tell he's still in the Legion, having been promoted to _sergent._"

"Wow, you know some really interesting people."

"Back on the subject, care for a drink?" Conrad asked.

"It's been that kind of day."

Conrad headed over and poured a couple glasses, handing one to Kate before he capped the bottle and tucked it away in the freezer. Carrying his own glass he joined Kate at the sofa in the small living room.

"To Count Holck," Conrad said, raising his glass.

"To Count Holck," Kate replied with a slight smile, "And to the fact that you know some very interesting people."

"Touche, _mademoiselle_."

It had been some hours later, after finishing their respective drinks and unwinding from the day that they heard a scream.

Conrad and Kate briefly looked at one another before Conrad added, "Another nightmare for Todd."

"I get the feeling tomorrow is going to be an interesting day."

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Roadblock and Todd  
****27 February 2002, 2245**

With a scream Todd had awakened. Crying and sniffling he cast off the blankets and made his way out of his bedroom, down the hallway, and towards Roadblock's room. Trembling, he opened the door to find Roadblock sound asleep.

Without hesitation he shot under the covers like a small child and lay next to Roadblock. _I feel like such a little kid. _Todd thought. _But it's the only way to make these nightmares __**stop! **__I haven't felt this safe around an adult since Mom died…_

Roadblock's stirring jerked Todd out of that line of thinking. The powerfully built Joe turned, eyes still shut, "Kid, are you in my bed again?"

Todd whimpered a tiny 'yes' to answer and then Roadblock replied, "Another nightmare?"

After Todd whimpered again, Roadblock sighed. "Okay, you know you're _**way**_ to old for this. But I guess you can't help it. First thing in the morning we are going to have a little talk with Psyche-Out and find a way to stop these nightmares once and for all. Got it?"

Todd made a third whimper.

"Fine," Roadblock sighed, "You can stay this last time, now go to sleep."

Todd instinctively snuggled next to him, making contented whimpers of calming down. He laid his head on Roadblock's chest, listening to his heartbeat, and fell asleep near instantly afterward.

With another sigh Roadblock groaned while absently stroking Todd's hair, "I must be crazy. That's it, stress, sleep deprivation...I'm starting to believe I'm this kid's mom. I need a vacation!"

He opened his eyes and looked down at Todd's sleeping form.

"Kinda cute when he's asleep. More than can be said when he's awake at times. He's not that bad a kid though. I can't believe I just said that! I'm even used to the smell!"

Todd made a contented sound. Then Roadblock felt Todd's long tongue lick his cheek, like a baby animal showing affection for its parent.

"I must be going crackers," Roadblock groaned as he felt the slime dribble down his cheek. "I'm even used to _**that!**_"

* * *

**The Pit, Medical Center  
****Psyche-Out, Roadblock, Kate, and Conrad  
****28 February 2002, 0955**

"Psyche-Out, you gotta help me!" Roadblock pleaded while sitting in the small break room. Todd was currently undergoing his chemistry lesson with Airtight in the science lab across the street.

Psyche-Out listened carefully as Roadblock drank half his fifth cup of coffee. He was about to reply when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Psyche-Out said, and nodded in acknowledgment as Conrad and Kate walked into the room.

"After you, _mademoiselle_," Conrad said, letting Kate walk in through the open door before him.

As the two agents sat at the table with Roadblock and Psyche-Out, Kate began, "I thought we'd find you here."

"I gather Todd had another nightmare?" Conrad asked.

"Yes," Roadblock said with a sigh.

"Anyway, Roadblock, you were saying?" Psyche-Out said.

Roadblock drained his cup of coffee and then went over to the coffee pot for yet another cup, "The kid drives me crazy enough during the day! At night he's impossible! I can't even get mad at the kid for this! With these nightmares he's like a little lost tadpole! Comes into my room and looks at me with those big baby froggy eyes and I just don't have the strength to kick him out."

"Well it's not totally unheard of," Psyche-Out replied.

"What's not entirely unheard of?" Conrad asked.

"Cases of regression sometimes happen in children after a traumatic experience," Psyche-Out replied.

"Or experiences," Kate replied, "From the pictures I saw there were at least a couple scars that were months old."

"You say Todd climbs into bed with you? Every night?" Psyche-Out asked, after nodding in acknowledgement.

"For the past two weeks," Roadblock affirmed, "When he first came I had to sit up with the kid in his own room. I thought it would pass. But it keeps getting worse. Now he just sneaks into my room and snuggles next to me like I'm some kind of oversized teddy bear…"

"Well, Psyche-Out did just say that regression happens to children after trauma," Conrad replied.

Roadblock glared at Conrad briefly before adding, "...and he even licks my face while he sleeps. like a puppy."

"Okay...that's a little strange," Kate began.

"Well it could be worse, he could be doing other things in your bed, Roadblock," Psyche-Out interjected.

"Trust me, none of you have ever had a tongue bath from this kid. Not much else is worse."

"Well," Kate replied, "As Psyche-Out said earlier child regression does happen after severe trauma and what Magneto did to Todd _**definitely**_ qualifies."

"In a way, this behavior is a positive sign?" Psyche-Out added.

"How is this so? He's fifteen and his behavior is reminiscent of a toddler or small child?" Conrad asked.

"Could you not be so blunt?" Kate commented, "This _isn't_ the Legion."

"Before get any more distracted," Roadblock replied, "How is that positive?"

"Well this shows how strong his attachment to you has become. He obviously sees you as a father figure. He wouldn't keep coming into your room if there wasn't a bond there," Psyche-Out replied, before calmly sipping on his coffee.

"Wonderful," Roadblock groaned. "He likes me. Now what?"

"You're not fooling anyone Roadblock," Kate replied, as she made a couple notes on her PDA, "I can see how much you care for the kid."

"That's only a good thing," Conrad added, "My reports back to ACME have been saying as much."

"We have to get to the root of his nightmares," Psyche-Out replied, "I strongly believe they're at least partially rooted in an abandonment complex."

At Conrad's quizzical look Kate added, "Mostly fears of rejection, or being cast out of a group. Like what Magneto did to him."

Conrad nodded, "And the kid did tell us about other abuses he endured beforehand as well."

"I suggest that today we start with some intense psychotherapy," Psyche-Out began, "Perhaps by delving into the past we can find some answers over the next few weeks..."

"Few _**weeks**_!?" Roadblock yelped, "I don't think I can last another fe_w days!_"

With a sigh, Psyche-Out set his coffee mug down, "Then I suppose we'd best get started. Right away."

* * *

**The Pit, Medical Center  
****Todd, Roadblock, Psyche-Out, Kate, and Conrad  
****28 February 2002, 1330**

Todd's eyes flickered from the overhead lights, glowing with long halogen glass rods, to the white painted walls, to the black and white checker pattern floor to the faces of the four adults in the room.

As he sat in the cloth upholstered chair his eyes flickered from Conrad to Kate to Roadblock and then to Psyche-Out alternately. Noticing their expressions. _They're trying to look calm, they're trying not to make me nervous. _

His eyes flicked to Psyche-Out, and that made him even more nervous. _I mean the man explained what was gonna go on, and what was going to happen and…_

"Todd," Kate said, gently, "What's wrong?"

"Are you sure this isn't going to hurt me?" Todd said as he looked over to Psyche-Out.

Psyche-Out shook his head. "You won't feel a thing. Now just relax and listen to the sound of my voice."

As Todd did so, he relaxed against the chair, unconscious. Roadblock, Kate and Conrad watched him fall under Psyche-Out's control and then Psyche-Out motioned Roadblock to Todd's side.

"Listen to me," Psyche-Out said, "Take Roadblock's hand."

Todd complied, as Conrad turned to Kate with a quizzical look. Kate turned to Conrad and said, "I've heard of hypnotherapy before, but I've never seen it in action till today. It's still in its experimental stages."

"Now when you feel scared or uneasy about what you see just give his hand a squeeze and there will be no pain. You will still see everything but the pain will be gone. You will be safe. It will be like you are describing what is happening to someone else. Do you understand?" Psyche-Out asked Todd.

"Yes," Todd replied softly.

"I want you to go to the point just before the bad people start hurting you." Psyche-Out said, "Tell me where you are and how old you are."

"I...I'm nine years old," Todd replied, voice very small, "I'm being sent to another orphanage. They keep moving me from place to place because nobody wants me there. _Especially _the adults. They keep saying an ugly child like me ruins the atmosphere."

"How did you get to the orphanage?" Psyche-Out asked.

"After my dad...he hurt my mommy very badly. He hit her hard, she fell down, and she didn't get up again. They took me away from him," Todd whimpered as he squeezed Roadblock's hand, pausing for a while with a sob punctuated by a small hiccup.

Kate blinked slightly. _That's the worst thing about law enforcement. Cases that involve kids, especially abuse cases. _

Kate took a glance over at Conrad. Knowing that he viewed violence against children to be especially distasteful.

"_Batard,_" Conrad muttered as he heard about how Todd's mother had been killed by the abusive Mr. Tolansky.

"I was only seven when she died. Since then I was stuck in a lot of places where nobody wanted me. Then when I was nine...I think there was a fire in one place and I ran away and wound up living on the streets. I think this was the place, the next place I wound up in. Yes, I know it is, but I was only there a few months..."

Kate turned to Conrad, as she noticed the cold expression on the ex-Legionnaire's face, "I thought you should know that I looked up the case Todd described. Apparently Mr. Tolansky was murdered in prison."

"The prick got what he deserved," Conrad replied evenly.

"As much as I find your somewhat brutal sense of justice questionable, I agree with you for once," Kate replied softly.

"Tell me about this last orphanage. What was it like?" Psyche-Out asked.

"Scary," Todd whimpered and squeezed Roadblock's hand again, feeling his guardian return the clasp.

"They took away my clothes and made me wear this hospital uniform. They locked me in my room. They tried to take Hopper from me but I cried and cried so they left him alone."

"Who's Hopper?" Psyche-Out asked.

"My stuffed frog. My mommy gave me him so I would always feel safe and warm."

"Is this the place where the bad things happened to you?"

"Yes," Todd replied, sniffling.

Kate felt the lump rise in her throat as she heard Todd's confirmation. _It hurts to hear all this, but we need to hear this so we can put a stop to this. _

"Do you remember seeing any other children there?" Psyche-Out asked.

"One or two. They were usually in wheelchairs and they didn't talk much. They looked sick. Then again I was always locked in my room."

"Tell me what happened," Psyche-Out softly asked.

Kate noticed both Roadblock and Conrad visibly brace themselves, as if against physical blows. _From what little either of them have told me about Moreauseau those memories are at least as intense as a punch to the gut._

Todd squeezed Roadblock's hand tightly before he went on, "I'm in this strange room. It looks like a doctor's office. There are people in white lab coats examining me. I'm afraid. They keep touching and poking me with cold and sometimes sharp metal implements."

"For the love of God..." Conrad whispered.

Kate fixed him with a quizzical expression.

Conrad replied, "I saw the end credits of experiments like these when we raided Cobra labs. But this kid was there from the previews all the way to the bonus material."

"This one doctor...she's very scary. She straps me down to this table, even holding my head in place so I can't move. The she puts some kind of cover over the rest of my body. Then the next thing I know some kind of green water is all over me, except for my head. My body is in the tube with the water and my head is sticking out. It's very uncomfortable."

Kate felt the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, and with an audible gulp she whispered to Conrad, "I don't want to hear any more of this, but I know we have to listen to the whole thing."

"It sounds like something right out of a horror movie," Conrad agreed, "But we need to know what happened to the kid."

Todd began to shake and started to cry, "It hurts! It feels like someone is burning me and punching me all over at the same time! I'm crying and telling them to stop. But the doctor lady tells them to ignore me! It hurts more and more and I'm crying and pleading for them to stop! But they don't! Why don't they stop hurting me? I'm just a little kid!"

"Todd, listen to me!" Psyche-Out said, "You can't feel them hurting you anymore. The bad things they're doing to you are over. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Todd sniffled, "But they leave me in that thing for a long time and talk about stuff I don't understand. It sounds like they're putting stuff in my body. They did a lot of other bad stuff to me too."

"Like what?"

"They keep sticking me with needles and attach wires to my head. They do this to me once a day. Every day. I keep asking why they're doing this. The mean doctor lady tells me to shut up and that this is all for my own good. But it _hurts. _Why is she so mean?" Todd said.

"Do you remember what the bad people look like? Can you describe them?"

"The mean doctor lady was blonde...no, wait...I'm lying down and she's talking to someone. I can't see her face but her voice has changed and she looks different too. But I'm so tired and weak. I can't tell _what's _going on."

"Todd, I want you to take a closer look at the lady's face," Psyche-Out said.

Todd sniffled again, squeezing Roadblock's hand. Roadblock squeezed Todd's hand, "It's ok, Todd, I'm here for you..."

"You can do this," Psyche-Out added, "Describe to me what you see."

Todd looked closer. Remembering.

He could see the doctor's face now. Recognizing that it had changed in the hallway. Before he had thought he imagined it. But now he could see it wasn't true. He could see the face clearly now. And it was one he knew well.

"N-No," Todd trembled, "NO!"

"Todd, what is it? What do you see?" Psyche-Out asked.

Todd didn't answer and he shot up and out of his chair. Psyche-Out barely managed to get out of the way.

Todd started trashing the room, kicking holes in the wall and overturning furniture. Kate barely managed to dodge a kick that punched a hole into the wall. She turned to help Roadblock, Conrad, and Psyche-Out try and restrain Todd.

"Todd, what's the matter? What is it?" Psyche-Out asked.

"SHE LIED TO ME! SHE SAID SHE WOULD HELP ME, BUT SHE'S THE ONE WHO HURT ME!" Todd howled.

"Todd, who lied to you?" Psyche-Out said, managing to get a hold of the struggling teen, "Who was it? Who did you see?"

"MYSTIQUE!" Todd screamed before collapsing on the floor, sobbing.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	25. Struggle

Struggle

Disclaimer: Same as before

* * *

**The Pit, The Medical Center  
****Kate, Conrad, Cross Country, Big Lob, and Tunnel Rat  
****28 February 2002, 1630**

"Poor kid," Kate began, as she and Conrad picked up a couple chunks of drywall and stuck them into a box.

Shortly after Todd had collapsed on the floor he stood up and started fighting again, taking out his pain and frustration out. It had taken three other Joes, as well as Roadblock, Conrad and Kate to subdue him until Lifeline arrived to sedate him.

As they set the box down Kate watched Conrad cross himself. She saw the cold look in his eyes, and knew what he was thinking.

"Brings backs memories of that hellhole we found in the Central African Republic, all those unwanted and failed COBRA experiments. Patients left to die in agony..." Conrad replied, responding to Kate's questioning look, "Sights and sounds that will haunt me till I breathe my last."

"I take it you're still in the mood to put a knife through Mystique's gut?" Kate asked.

"Yes, multiple stabs too," Conrad replied.

"Conrad, I found what Mystique did to Todd horrifying too. But I also think killing her is a step too far," Kate replied.

"Is it better to allow such an evil person to remain alive? Where she can harm others?" Conrad challenged.

"I think she should be brought to justice _not _simply killed on sight," Kate replied, "and there is always God's Justice, Conrad. She won't escape that at the end of her life."

"I think it's better for the world if Mystique were to meet God sooner rather than later," Conrad replied as they walked into the small break room down the hall where Tunnel Rat, Big Lob, and Cross Country were currently sitting at a nearby table.

"Hey guys," Tunnel Rat said, waving from the table.

Conrad and Kate headed over, and Conrad pulled out a chair, letting Kate take her seat first before he found one of his own.

"Where's Todd now?" Conrad asked.

"Down the hall," Big Lob said, "in one of the other rooms."

"What's he doing in there?" Tunnel Rat asked.

"Psyche-Out has some sort of new therapy idea," Big Lob replied, "Supposed to calm him down, make him feel safe and secure."

"Poor little guy," Cross Country, shaking his head.

"After what he's been through, no wonder he's in a world of hurt," Kate added, as she made a couple notes on her PDA.

"And Magneto and Mystique made it worse," Conrad interjected.

"That's right, you guys were in the room when Psyche-Out hypnotized Todd to find out about his nightmares earlier," Tunnel Rat replied.

"So what's the big 4-1-1?" Big Lob asked.

"Yeah, spill it," Cross Country asked.

"One of the orphanages the kid was in wasn't really an orphanage, it was a research facility and he was…" Conrad began.

"No…" Tunnel Rat said, growing pale, "Please tell me you're not going to say what I think."

"Aw man," Big Lob replied, "No wonder he joined the Brotherhood."

"Forced into it, remember?" Kate corrected, "But there's something more. One of the so-called doctors was actually Mystique in disguise."

"Oh man," Tunnel Rat exclaimed, "And where there's Mystique…"

"Mag-nut-o's not far behind," Big Lob finished, "How could they do this to their own kind? Why?"

"Whatever the reasons, it is inexcusable," Conrad began, "Both of them should hang for it."

"Bloody minded rants aside," Kate replied, shooting a glare at Conrad, "the poor kid is wondering the same thing."

_All the same I am not fit to be judge, jury and executioner. _Conrad thought to himself.

* * *

**The Pit, Medical Center  
****Psyche-Out, Roadblock, and Todd  
****28 February 2002, 1714**

The soft and rhythmic breathing from Todd could barely be heard as the boy lay sound asleep, curled up in Roadblock's arms. Roadblock softly rocked the boy back and forth like an infant.

"Do you think this will help?" Roadblock asked, looking up.

"It's a new form of therapy," Psyche-Out replied, "Still in the experimental stages, but there have been promising results."

There was a slight knock at the door, and Psyche-Out turned briefly, looking through the small window. He nodded and softly said, "Come in."

In walked Conrad Hart and Caitlin Todd. As they walked in Psyche-Out noticed Conrad whisper something to Kate.

"What's going on?" Conrad whispered.

"It's an experimental therapy," Kate replied softly.

"That's right," Psyche-Out interjected, "Anyway, the boy needs security, Roadblock. He's been emotionally ravaged and destroyed so many times that it's a wonder he's survived. This will, at the very least, instill a sense of subconscious security in him. It's going to be pretty intense, for both of you…"

"It doesn't matter," Roadblock said, shaking his head, "He needs me. And I'm here for him."

"He should sleep for a while, right?" Conrad asked.

"That's right," Psyche-Out said, "Lifeline gave him a fairly strong sedative. But I don't want to make a habit out of tranquilizing the kid. His body may not be able to take it because of the radiation exposure."

"I suppose that's what explains his pale greenish hue," Conrad supplied.

"And his lack of body hair," Psyche-Out continued.

"When I get my hands on Mystique and Magneto…" Roadblock growled.

"Looks like you'll have to get in line, Conrad," Kate whispered into Conrad's good ear.

Conrad didn't respond, he simply listened and watched impassively as the therapy went on. _Something about Todd's tale hit a nerve with Conrad. From what I know the Foreign Legion was a major player in France's war against COBRA. The French have been known to be especially ruthless towards COBRA since the Pyrenees Incident of 1994._

Todd moaned quietly and Roadblock stroked the boy's cheek, "Shh, it's ok...I'm here for you kid."

Todd quieted down and as he did so Psyche-Out began, "I've been thinking it might be helpful if we tried more natural healing therapies."

"Such as?" Kate asked.

"Those natural hot springs the ninjas use," Psyche-Out replied, "It's also said that they have psychological healing properties as well."

"I've spoke to Storm Shadow about that already," Roadblock said, "And he agrees…"

"Why do I sense there's a 'but' somewhere in that sentence, or an 'and'? And why, oh why, do I sense I probably won't like the answer to that question?" Psyche-Out asked.

"We've also talked about intensifying Todd's ninja training," Roadblock replied.

Kate's jaw dropped at the announcement, barely managing to stammer, "Wait? What!?"

"I agree with Agent Todd," Psyche-Out replied.

"It's a grim sort of logic, but it does make a rather hard sort of sense," Conrad interjected.

"Physical exercise will be helpful but..." Psyche-Out began before Roadblock cut him off.

"I know what has to be done. If he has any chance of surviving his future, it has to be this way."

"Roadblock, isn't that too much too soon?" Kate asked, with an audible gulp.

"He won't be harmed or tortured, Agent Todd, if that's what you're worried about," Roadblock replied.

Conrad nodded in agreement and added, "It will make him stronger. Training in the Legion did the same for us."

"Conrad," Kate replied, "This isn't the French Foreign Legion. And anyway, ninja training can be pretty intense. Do you think Todd will survive it?"

Roadblock interjected just then,"He survived Magneto."

* * *

_They used me...I was nothing but a pawn to them. _Todd thought as he floated through this sea of memories, seeing images and moments once obscured by time and trauma.

_It's like I'm watching this on TV. _Todd thought as he saw his younger self, clutching Hopper in his arms, hiding under a bed as smoke filtered into the room. Feeling the same panic he had felt as his younger self bolted from the under the bed, looking around. Flames started to lap from underneath the door.

A scream of panic. Leaping at the barred window and eyes widening with surprise when he reached it. With a previously unknown strength he kicked the bars out and escaped, racing into the night as the orphanage burned to the ground.

_So that's how I wound up on the street._ Todd thought as he saw himself in only a ragged pair of pajamas, clutching his stuffed frog while the rain fell and wind howled.

_Somehow I made it to Bayville and managed to register at the school, even if I didn't have a guardian. I tried to keep out of trouble and then I saw her._

"Todd Tolansky to the principal's office," the announcement over the PA system had said. A chorus of 'someone's in trouble' and an assortment of looks later had brought Todd before the desk of Raven Darkholme, Principal of Bayville High School.

Todd took it all in. The woman with her shoulder length brown hair and tailored skirt suit in charcoal grey. A knowing smile graced her features.

"We both know you're not like other boys, are you Tolansky?" Darkholme said, fingers forming into a steeple as she spoke, "People call you a freak. A reject. But that's not what you are. Oh no. I can show you your true path."

And with that she changed shape in front of him. Revealing her blue skinned, lithe frame. And Todd felt his jaw drop open.

_When she did that I thought it was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen. I even called her beautiful and she smiled and gave me a hug. But what was most important was her telling me that I was no longer alone in the world, a part of something greater and more powerful. That I was useful to her. _Todd thought as he watched that scene unfolding before him.

_I bet I was useful to her when she didn't have any other recruits for the Brotherhood. She was probably laughing the whole time! She played me! How stupid was I to fall for her line! And I __**did**_ _fall for it like a sap! _

_She was probably looking for me,_ Todd thought as he watched his younger self sniffle with barely restrained joy. _Wanting me under her control. How could I have been so blind?_

_And Magneto. He must have known about me too. For all I know he set up the hellhole I was in! Wait, even worse, they not only knew about the place, they did these to me so they could have their own mutant super soldier or something! I guess things must've backfired when that fire happened. Who knows what else would have happened to me? Who knows who else they did these things to!?_

Todd's pulse rose, as anger welled in like an incoming tide. _Never. Never again…_

* * *

**The Pit, Medical Center  
****Roadblock, Psyche-Out, Todd, Conrad and Kate  
****28 February 2002, 1955**

A few hours later Todd lay asleep on the nearby sofa, Roadblock having just tucked him in. There was a knock at the door, and the four adults turned to see General Hawk standing in the doorway. He motioned for them to step outside and as they did so Conrad left the door ajar.

"How's he doing?" Hawk asked.

"It's too early to tell," Psyche-Out replied, "He's been through a lot."

"He's about to go through a little more I'm afraid," Hawk said with a sigh, "Flagg wants to know as much as possible about Magneto and the X-men. I've been told to question him as soon as possible."

"I don't believe this!" Roadblock snapped angrily, "The boy's been through hell and back, and you want to interrogate him like he were some common criminal!"

"Roadblock, wait," Kate added, "There has to be some reason behind this. Perhaps that was the only way Flagg could think of to keep Todd here."

Hawk nodded, "Thank you, Agent Todd."

"You can't make him do that!" Roadblock snapped, hands knotting into fists, "I won't let you, sir!"

"Roadblock, I know how you feel…" Hawk began.

"Don't tell me that!" Roadblock shouted.

"Roadblock," Conrad interjected, "Maybe General Hawk had no other choice!"

"That's right, Agent Hart, General Flagg informed me that as long as we use the boy as a source of information he won't hand him to any other area of government," Hawk replied.

"I don't believe this, sir!" Roadblock snapped back.

"Roadblock," Hawk remarked evenly, "It was the only way we could protect him."

"Take it easy," Psyche-Out said, "I'll sit in on the session."

"There isn't going to be any session! I won't allow it!" Roadblock snapped, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Conrad and Kate were preparing to intervene if things turned physical.

"I want to talk," Todd's voice echoed.

The five adults turned to see the boy, standing in the doorway behind them.

_Merde,_ Conrad thought as he beheld Todd's eyes sunken into a pale face, _I've seen that look on hundreds of children before when I was in Africa with the Legion. And it is a look that is impossible to forget._

"I want to talk," Todd repeated, voice quivering, "I...I don't owe them nothin'...I can't let them win."

"Todd…" Roadblock began, heading for the boy, placing his muscular frame between himself and the others.

"You told me once the only times you're allowed to quit is either when you succeed or when you stop breathing. The only thing I want now i-i-is to stop them. To keep them from doing what they did to me to anyone else," Todd replied.

_God's mercy,_ Conrad thought, remembering the child soldier he had killed with a grenade in the Central African Republic.

"I want to hurt them. The only way to do that for now is talking. If you don't talk and tell people...don't say anything….then they win. And they can hurt you, again, and again, and again."

"Todd," Roadblock repeated, hugging the boy.

"I don't want them to hurt me anymore," Todd replied, choking back a sob before pulling away and looking his guardian in the eye, "I just want to get it over with."

"Well," Hawk replied, "Do you think now would be a good time?"

"Are you…" Roadblock began.

"Yes," Todd replied.

"We should do this in my office," Hawk sighed.

"Would you mind if we…" Kate began.

"General Flagg actually insisted that you and Agent Hart observe," Hawk replied.

"Can I at least sit with Todd," Roadblock interjected.

"That's not a good idea," Psyche-Out.

"Why can't he be with me?" Todd whimpered.

"Roadblock's a bit too...biased," Psyche-Out replied, "How about we get Lifeline to sit with you? Will that be okay?"

Todd nodded weakly. Hawk put a hand gently on Roadblock's shoulder. "Roadblock I promise we'll go as gentle as possible on the boy. He'll be alright."

"Could you hold off questioning him for a minute? There's something I need to get," Roadblock replied.

Hawk nodded and then Roadblock whispered a few words in Todd's ear before stepping out of the hallway and towards the exit. Todd headed over to Lifeline, sitting on the sofa, looking down at the ground, his face still wearing that hollow, fearful look.

A few minutes later Roadblock returned with something. Kneeling down on the sofa in front of Todd he said, "I was going to save this for later. But you need it now."

Kate felt the pull on her heartstrings as Roadblock handed Todd the item as the boy's eyes glistened with tears about to be shed.

"Hopper," Todd sniffled as he clutched the stuffed frog to his chest, "How….?"

"I kind of had a friend of mine sneak away a few of your things from the Brotherhood House," Roadblock explained, "And for now, if I can't be with you, I figure this is the next best thing."

Todd nodded, sniffling again.

"Now you answer the questions truthfully, understand?" Roadblock said.

Todd nodded again, before standing up and hugging his guardian. Then he took Lifeline's hand with his free hand and filed into Hawk's office with Conrad and Kate in tow.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****28 February 2002, 2155**

Kate sighed as she hit the send button on the email she had spent the past hour writing. She glanced upward, noticing Conrad approaching with a sandwich.

"I figured you'd want this," Conrad said as he sat down.

"Thanks," Kate replied, looking up at him, "It was a tough day today."

"I agree," Conrad replied as he took the seat across from her, "Hawk kept his promise and went easy on the kid but still…"

"Still, you could tell it was hard for the kid. He clutched that stuffed frog like a security blanket," Kate replied.

"And I could tell it wasn't easy for you either," Conrad replied.

"Look who's talking," Kate replied with a wan look.

"The boy's story reminds me a lot of the child soldiers I encountered in Africa. Except this one has another chance. In my case I ended their lives when they attacked us," Conrad replied.

"You did what you had to do, Conrad," Kate replied softly, "I honestly don't know how I'd feel if I had to put a kid down."

"Pray you will never need to do so," Conrad replied.

Kate gulped slightly before reaching for a glass of water. _Poor guy. He's got that whole older sibling vibe to him, I can only picture what it had to have done to him._

Conrad regarded her, eyebrows furrowing and she noticed he turned his head slightly, so his right ear was a bit closer.

"Is there something on your mind?" Conrad asked.

Kate sighed, "If there's any hope for Todd it's what he has with Roadblock."

"Let us pray that it will be sufficient," Conrad replied.

* * *

To Be Continued…


	26. Fiddler's Green and the Confessional

Fiddler's Green and the Confessional

Disclaimer: Same as before…

* * *

_"Halfway down the trail to Hell,_  
_In a shady meadow green_  
_Are the souls of all dead troopers camped,_  
_Near a good old-time canteen._  
_And this eternal resting place_  
_Is known as Fiddlers' Green."_ **\- from a U.S. Cavalry Poem**

* * *

Sleep, for Conrad Hart, would bring him a visit to a shady meadow green. In the middle of the meadow was a building in red brick, nestled under the shade of several poplar trees. Looking around he saw horses tied to hitching posts outside and heard the notes of music.

_Les Kepis Blancs,_ Conrad's ear recognized a familiar tune as he neared the cantina's front. He pushed the door open of the cantina known as Fiddlers' Green.

A slightly out of tune piano clanged the notes and half a dozen legionnaires from as many different historical eras were clustered around said piano and singing the lyrics somewhat out of tune.

_Mexico. The First World War. World War II. Indochina. Algeria. _Conrad's eye for history recognized the uniforms of the legionnaires that were the cantina's patrons. Beer and spirits flowed freely.

"Hart!" The shout came.

Blinking his eyes he glanced downward, finding himself no longer clad in the business casual garb of a plain clothes law enforcement agent but the camouflage pattern of the French Foreign Legion. He could feel the white kepi atop his head.

"_Caporal-Chef _Hart_!_" The French accented shout repeated.

He turned to see eight men in Legion uniforms of a much more modern vintage, recognizing his mates from _Commando Depuis _clustered around a nearby table. Mugs of ale were clutched in their hands.

Conrad approached the table, seeing _Capitaine_ Bernard Depuis holding his mug of ale aloft. He came to attention.

"_A vos ordres, mon capitaine,_" Conrad began. _At your orders, captain. Best to be a bit formal in this set of circumstances._

"Bloody Hell, Hart," _Sergent_ Ian Laposte interjected, "This isn't the sodding Castel or the farm!"

_The places legionnaires are made._ Conrad thought while glancing over as Depuis casually wiped a bit of foam from his beer from his moustache.

Laposte smirked and flagged down a barmaid, "Another for our mate over there."

"Come, join us," _Caporal_ Putman Livingston said, holding up his mostly full mug of beer.

_I hope that doesn't mean join the lot of you in death,_ Conrad thought, remembering that the only place the eight men before him lived on was in his memories.

"I assure you, Hart," Depuis added, as if reading his mind while sporting his trademark toothy grin,"We don't mean joining us in death. Join us for a mug or more of ale."

"_Oui, mon capitaine,_" Conrad replied as he approached the table.

"So what's this I hear of your having gone into civilian law enforcement, Hart?" _Sergent-Chef_ Hans Van Pelt said after taking a slug of beer down.

_Merde. This is one hell of a dream. Van Pelt still smells of cheap cologne and cigarettes when not in the field._ Conrad thought.

"I joined ACME shortly after my discharge from La Legion," Conrad replied taking a pull of his own drink.

"I understand you have a sodding case," Ian interjected.

"Ah, yes," _Sergent_ Henri Leboulletier began, "The one with the mutant child, yes?"

"Yes," Conrad replied.

"It troubles you, doesn't it?" Depuis interjected.

"_Oui, mon capitaine_," Conrad replied brusquely.

"You did what you had to out there, Hart. We all did," Van Pelt replied as he took a pull off his own drink.

"Perhaps I've already received my punishment. I'll never forget the teenage fighter dead by my hand," Conrad replied taking a pull of his own beer.

"You know he was just as culpable as the adult fighters in that attack on the mission," Ian replied, "And the whelp likely wouldn't agonize over killing _you_."

"Of course I know that, and every time I encountered child soldiers in Africa it was always them or me," Conrad replied.

"And you believe doing your best for the Tolansky _kind_ will be your atonement, Hart?" Van Pelt replied icily after a long slug from his drink.

As he set the glass down, the Dutchman added, "To date you've failed to convince me God even exists."

_Always with that ice cold logic. _Conrad blinked. _No wonder it was said you never smiled at your own mother._

"Perhaps," Conrad replied, noncommittally. _The avowed cynicism beyond what you could physically see or touch still remains, Van Pelt._

"And I understand you're working with a partner on this case?" Ian asked.

"Partner?" _Legionnaire_ Leon Peralta chimed in.

"Yes, one Agent Caitlin Todd, US Secret Service," Putman supplied as he drank down a slug of beer.

Now Peralta grinned, "So tell us about this Agent Todd."

"Not much to tell, really. She works for the Secret Service, she's working with me on this mission, and we both share things in common…"

"Such as?" Peralta said with a toothy grin.

"Oh, do tell," Putman added.

"You know, Hart," _Legionnaire_ Renzo Rocha replied, "What you're not saying is just as telling as what you are saying."

"Screw you, Rocha," Conrad said with a slight reddening of his complexion.

"Just describe the lass, Hart," Ian said with a grin as he refilled his now empty mug off another pitcher of beer.

"Well, she's about 5'7", brunette, hazel eyes…" Conrad began. _I'm definitely going to leave the recollection of having seen Kate's naked backside entirely by accident out of this conversation._

"Oh for fuck's sake, Hart, you're sounding like a bloody cop," Putman interrupted.

"Putman, I am a 'bloody cop' now. No longer a legionnaire," Conrad countered as he took a pull of his own drink, "And if the lot of you must know, I'd have to be a eunuch not to notice she's a lovely lady."

"And you're sharing quarters with the bonny lass?" Putman asked, with a toothy grin.

"Yes, but it's not like we're sharing a bed," Conrad replied.

"I'm certain you wouldn't mind sharing a bed with her, then?" Putman said.

"Shut it, Putman," Conrad replied crossly, slamming his mug onto the table, causing the beer to foam slightly.

"So what's stopping you from making a move if you find her attractive?" Peralta interjected.

"There is the not insignificant fact that she does have a boyfriend. A Marine named Tim," Conrad replied.

"Well women have been known to change their minds," _Legionnaire_ Radoslav Wiersbowski replied with a lopsided grin.

"Agent Todd, aside," Conrad replied, "This is a helluva first case."

Let's not forget the last thing I need is the added complication of being smitten. Conrad thought to himself.

"And we'd be eager to hear more about it, next time you visit us," Depuis said, his voice fading as Conrad awakened.

And as Depuis' voice faded Conrad blinked his eyes, sitting up, eyelids flickering. He reached over and grabbed his laptop, taking it into the kitchen. _I don't think I'm quite in the mood to revisit Fiddlers' Green just yet._

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
1 March 2002, 0602**

Kate walked into the kitchen, finding Conrad was already sitting at the table. His laptop was up and she could hear the sound of a drumroll, a clearly military tune. Conrad looked engrossed in a photograph on the computer screen.

"_Ich Hatt'einen Kameraden. Einen bessern findst du nit. Die Trommel Schlug zum Streite. Er ging en meiner Seite_…"

"One of the songs you told me about?" Kate asked.

Conrad jerked out of the near trance he was in, hitting the pause button on the Windows Media Player.

"Excuse me?" Conrad replied.

"The song you were listening to," Kate said as she walked over into the kitchen.

"Oh," Conrad replied, as he turned to face her, "Well, it's a bit of a story."

"Does it have anything to do with the fact that the song is in German and probably came from the large numbers serving in the Legion after both World Wars?" Kate asked.

"_Tres bien, mademoiselle,_" Conrad said with a wan smile.

"Living with you for the past couple weeks means I've learned a lot about the French Foreign Legion," Kate replied, "So what's the story about the song?"

"It's called _Ich Hatt'Einen Kameraden_ or 'I had a comrade'. It's a traditional lament of both the German armed forces as well as the Legion. We learned it both in French and German."

Kate leaned against the refrigerator, regarding the ex-Legionnaire as he stood to face him. "Does this song mean a lot to you?"

"Even before I saw combat with the Legion both versions of that song made my hair stand on end. Now having actually lost comrades in battle…." Conrad replied, voice trailing off.

"May I ask…" Kate began.

"Why I was listening to it?" Conrad replied, "Simple, really. I was building a small memorial on my laptop to my mates with the song as a background."

Kate stole a glance around Conrad's shoulder, looking at the computer screen. There was the photo of Conrad's old unit. She gulped as she thought to herself, _My God. Eight of the nine men in that photo were killed in action. All but the man standing in front of me._

"Something on your mind, Kate?" Conrad asked.

"Do you think you could translate that song for me," Kate replied. _Maybe it will help me understand what you're going through._

Conrad nodded and started the Media Player track again. Again came the drum roll and the German lyrics. Now they were accompanied by Conrad's translating.

"I once had a comrade. You won't find a better one. The drum was rolling for battle. He was marching by my side, in the same pace and stride."

_You were right, Conrad, that song does make your hair stand on end. _Kate thought to herself, remembering a friend killed in the line of duty and another wounded.

"A bullet flew towards us. Meant for you or me? It did tear him away, he lies at my feet, as if a part of me."

Kate blinked her eyes. _I don't think I can imagine what you're going through. Maybe significant doses of survivor's guilt?_

"He still reaches his hand out to me. But I must reload my gun. I can't ease your suffering. Rest in eternal life, my good comrade," Conrad finished with an audible gulp.

Kate shuddered. _I can't imagine having to do that, being unable to even attempt to console a dying friend because you have to keep fighting._

"Was there any reason you picked the German version over the French one?" Kate asked.

"I'm not sure, honestly," Conrad replied, "Perhaps because in my first unit the two sergents I served under were both Germans. Or maybe because in our basic training we had a German caporal that had us sing the German version more frequently than the French one."

"I can say I did feel a chill up my spine," Kate replied.

After a brief silence Conrad closed his laptop. As he headed for his room, Kate asked, "Where are you going?"

"Just need to clear my head for a moment," Conrad replied, "Don't worry. I'll be back before we go talk to Stormshadow and Roadblock later."

"Alright," Kate replied, a lump in her throat.

* * *

**The Pit, The Chapel  
Conrad Hart and Chaplain Cagliari  
1 March 2002, 0743**

"Bless me Father for I have sinned," Conrad began, barely beginning to take his seat as he spoke, "It has been three years since my last confession. And I accuse myself of the following sins: predominantly that of murder…"

Conrad heard his voice wavering as he described everything about his deeds with _Commando Depuis_ in Africa.

"We came upon that mission scarcely a few weeks after we had removed the mines in that field. What we found...what we saw there...I remember shuddering with rage at what I saw. We swore not a single one of the bastards responsible would survive our vengeance."

As he spoke memories of that night in the Central African Republic flashed before his eyes. Silently hiking through a jungle ravine. Moving into one of the buildings the Cobra backed faction had used as a camp. Aiming down the sights of his FAMAS at one sleeping enemy fighter.

"I put any thoughts of murder out of my mind and simply squeezed the trigger. After all the man and his cronies had been responsible for crimes and had to be sent to face God's justice. That I do not regret. _Vae victis."_

"What do you regret?" the soft, Maltese accented voice answered on the other side.

"We took fire as some of the militants fought back," Conrad replied, "I threw a grenade out the window and running into the courtyard I saw the person trying to kill me was barely a teenager…"

_Running outside Conrad saw the militant hit by the grenade's explosion lying on his side, bloody hands trying to hold in lacerated viscera._

_"Medic! Medic!" Conrad shouted, keeping his FAMAS rifle trained on the youth._

_Out of the corner of his eye he could see Renzo Rocha running, rifle in one hand, his medical backpack swaying from side to side as he ran over. He could feel the lump in his throat as he saw that the wounded man was barely into his teens._

_Almost as soon as Rocha neared the wounded boy Conrad saw the youth reach towards his waistband. Seeing the butt of a pistol tucked in the boy's shorts Conrad didn't hesitate. Firing three rapid shots he saw bullets hit the boy's chest and face._

"I know the youth was just as culpable in this act as the others were. But I never will forget having killed him," Conrad replied, and with a sigh continuing, "Perhaps I've received my punishment now."

"Did you believe you fought in a just war?" Chaplain Cagliari asked. In the calm of the man's voice Conrad could still detect compassion.

"I do, Father," Conrad replied, "But I distinctly recall the day I saw what became of Dr. Keller and her mission...what I saw there. I remember seeing what those bastards did to her and the others and vowed to myself I would send the lot of them to Hell for what they did."

"Yet you are troubled by the youth of one of their number," Cagliari replied.

"Yes, Father," Conrad replied.

"What were you thinking at the time?" Cagliari asked gently.

"When we came upon the mission's smoking ruin I had only one thought in mind: Exterminate the brutes. To a man every one of us felt that way. And the kid I killed in that battle wasn't the only one I had to put down in the fighting. The atrocities I saw those bastards inflict on innocent people…all I wanted to do was send them to the shores of Acheron."

Conrad blinked his eyes. The French government turned a blind eye to what the Composite Intervention Group and the local militia they trained did to any Cobras they encountered. Typically surrendering Cobras wound up being shot, especially after the crimes of their compatriots became widely known.

"I wasn't in on the Pyrenees operation in 1994," Conrad began, "But the tales I heard from those who were there...those were nightmarish."

"So you believe you were fighting evil?" Cagliari asked.

"With absolute certainty," Conrad replied, jaw clenching.

_It doesn't sound like he's accusing or judging me._ Conrad thought. _Perhaps I shouldn't have been so defensive._

"No one comes away from war unscathed," Cagliari said.

"Nonetheless, Father, I accuse myself of the sin of murder," Conrad replied, "When I saw what atrocities Cobra and their allies in the region carried out I wanted to do nothing less than kill the entire lot of them."

Conrad blinked his eyes, remembering a war without quarter as he continued to speak, "The worst things I saw involved the so called 'laboratories', the places where Cobra experimented on human beings. I for one had no compunction to the official order from the French government regarding the scientists that staffed these things."

"What was that order?" Cagliari asked.

"Shoot on sight," Conrad replied.

"Why was that order given?" Cagliari asked, no judgment in his voice.

"Because of what happened after the Pyrenees Incident. The Cobra scientists captured there were freed by very sharp lawyers Cobra had hired for the occasion. After that incident the French government had enough. If we saw these Dr. Mengeles in waiting we were to kill them on sight," Conrad replied.

"Do you regret your sins?"

"Father, to be honest I am conflicted. I feel that it was better to kill these individuals rather than allow them to continue to practice evil. But at the same time I feel deeply affected, especially if the individuals I dispatched were teenagers."

After Conrad received his penance from Cagliari he crossed himself, stepping out of the confessional to the chapel to pray…

* * *

To Be Continued.


	27. Acupuncture, Small Talk, and Sneakiness

Acupuncture, Small Talk, and Sneakiness

Disclaimer: Same as before. The character of Commander Mick Brumby from the JAG franchise isn't mine.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Conrad Hart, Caitlin Todd, and Todd Tolansky  
****1 March 2002, 0933**

"Where did you go?" Kate asked Conrad as they walked up to the Ninja dojo.

"They say confession is good for the soul," Conrad replied evenly.

"It is a sacrament," Kate replied, regarding Conrad with a knowing look.

"This hasn't been an easy case for me," Conrad replied.

"Todd's story hit a nerve for you, I know," Kate replied, a lump in her throat, "It did for me too."

"In any case I still haven't a single compunction towards killing Mystique if I ever run across that shape changing, blue skinned sociopath," Conrad said as they approached the dojo's front steps.

"Conrad, listen," Kate replied, "I agree Mystique did a horrible thing to Todd but killing her is playing with beyond the pale territory."

"I believe, _mademoiselle_, agreeing to disagree is the best course of action," Conrad replied.

"No argument here," Kate replied, "I know it's kind of a weird way to look at it, but Mystique and Magneto unwittingly did Todd a service."

"Because if they hadn't done what they did he wouldn't have found his way here," Conrad replied. _It still doesn't change the fact that I'd kill either of them for what they did to Todd. And speak of the devil. _

Conrad and Kate both spotted Todd lying in the shade of a tree, napping lightly in the morning sun. The boy hastily scrambled to his feet when he heard their footsteps.

"Sorry about that," Kate replied, "we didn't mean to startle you."

"I know that," Todd said awkwardly, dragging his right foot in an arc along the grass in front of him, back and forth.

"On a break?" Conrad asked.

"Well, actually, y'know I was supposed to be meditating but I kinda fell asleep…" Todd half muttered.

"We won't tell Stormshadow," Kate replied with a smile.

Despite himself Conrad couldn't help but smile himself. _Note to self, let Kate take the lead in interactions involving Todd for the time being. She's a natural with kids. _

"How's your training going?" Kate asked.

"It's hard and intense. And Stormshadow has high standards. But at least he doesn't hit me or anything if I make a mistake," Todd replied glumly, "Like Magneto or Mystique did."

Conrad blinked briefly, glancing over at Todd. The boy still showed some signs of tiredness, as if he hadn't slept well. _Given the nightmares he's had, it's pretty obvious._

"Can I ask you a favor?" Todd asked.

"Sure," Conrad replied.

"Can you guys not tell Althea about what I'm going through right now...it...it's kinda personal and…" Todd sniffled slightly.

"Think nothing of it," Conrad replied.

"Todd," Stormshadow said as he stepped out of the dojo, "We're ready for you now. Agent Todd, Agent Hart, we'll see you in a few minutes."

Todd hopped a couple steps towards the dojo's entrance before standing upright and walking inside.

"So now what?" Conrad asked.

"I guess we wait outside," Kate replied before turning her head, glancing over Conrad's right shoulder. Conrad turned as well, as he heard the sound of a car approaching. Both agents saw a beige government Ford sedan stopping in the gravel parking lot across the road from the dojo.

After the car parked a man stepped out of the vehicle. He was a tall, lanky fellow, wearing a white hat with a sheaf of papers under his left arm.

As he got a bit closer Conrad remarked, "That's a naval uniform he's wearing. British or Australian as far as I can tell."

"I can tell it's a navy uniform, but how did you guess he's British or an Australian?" Kate asked.

"The last bar on his shoulder boards. It's got that loop in it. British and Australian Navy officers have that. Ours don't."

"Very astute," the stranger said as he neared them, a slight grin on his face. As he took the final few steps, he extended his hand, "Commander Mick Brumby, Royal Australian Navy."

Conrad was first to reply as he shook hands with the Australian, "Agent Conrad Hart, ACME Detective Agency."

Brumby turned to face Kate afterward, after releasing the ACME Agent's hand.

"Agent Kate Todd, U.S. Secret Service," Kate replied.

"Charmed," Brumby said before releasing Kate's hand and slightly shifting the sheaf of papers under his left arm. He regarded them for a few moments before he said, "You must be the two agents everyone's been talking about."

"That's us," Kate replied, "I didn't realize we were that famous."

"Well you are dealing with the Tolansky lad," Brumby replied, "And that's the talk of the base rumor mill, at least in the few weeks I've been here."

"Oh," Kate replied, with a slightly sheepish expression, "I guess that's the reason for it."

"Can we help you, sir?" Conrad replied, noting Brumby's recognition of Conrad's former military service by the Australian's facial expression.

"Have you seen Roadblock? I've been meaning to deliver the signed copy of Todd's adoption paperwork," Brumby said as he shifted the sheaf of papers under his left arm again.

"He's inside, I think," Kate replied, "We're supposed to meet him in a few minutes and…"

Kate's words were interrupted by a high pitched scream. She let out a slight gasp before managing to say, "What was that?"

"It sounded like Todd," Conrad replied.

"What's going on in there?" Mick asked.

"I don't know, but it certainly doesn't sound all that pleasant," Conrad asked before noticing Kate starting to head for the dojo's front door.

"Where are you going?" Conrad asked as he followed Kate up the dojo's front steps, noticing Brumby taking off after them with a couple long legged strides.

"Where does it look like I'm going?" Kate snapped back.

"I highly doubt they're torturing him in there," Conrad countered.

"Whatever they _are_ doing doesn't sound pleasant," Brumby added as the three of them entered the dojo's front door as yet another high pitched scream echoed.

The two agents and one lawyer rounded a corner and headed towards the back of the dojo. Pushing aside a beaded curtain door they entered just in time to see Todd lying face down, shirtless, on top of a leather cushioned table. Roadblock was sitting in a chair by his side as Stormshadow was preparing several tiny needles.

Roadblock was currently holding Todd's hand, speaking softly to the boy, "It's not going to hurt, Todd, it's okay…"

"Acupuncture," Stormshadow calmly explained as he saw the two agents and one lawyer enter the room.

Todd flinched as Stormshadow deftly placed one needle and then another at different points along Todd's back.

"Told you," Conrad said as he turned to Kate.

"H-hey, that didn't hurt at all," Todd said.

"You seem surprised by that," Stormshadow said as he stuck several more needles into Todd.

"I-I hadn't had the best experiences with needles," Todd replied.

_From your story I know that to be true,_ Conrad replied, jaw clenching as he recalled the orphanage that had really been some sort of lab from Todd's story. Conrad blinked slightly, remembering those same Cobra labs he uncovered in Africa. Of the dying experiments barely recognizable as human. Of shooting any Cobra scientist discovered on sight.

"Not much of a fan of sharps either," Brumby said with a smirk, before turning to address Roadblock and Stormshadow "Sorry for the interruption."

"Think nothing of it," Stormshadow replied.

"I've some papers for you, Roadblock," Brumby said, as he handed the sheaf of papers to Roadblock.

"I'll get these to you no later than tomorrow morning, sir," Roadblock replied.

"That will work," Brumby replied, "By your leave."

Brumby, Kate and Conrad left the room and made their way out of the dojo. As soon as they were outside it was Brumby that broke the relative silence.

"Poor kid," Brumby said.

"He's lucky to be alive," Kate replied in agreement.

Conrad asked, "So how did you come to be involved with this case, sir?"

"All the legal paperwork for Roadblock's adoption of Todd," Brumby said, "That's been one of a dozen things I've been busy with on the legal side."

"Let me guess, the other eleven things involve Shipwreck," Kate replied.

"While he's responsible for a fair share and then some of the legal paperwork I have to sort out, he's not responsible for all of it," Brumby deadpanned.

"For better or worse it's a good thing Todd found Shipwreck and his family," Conrad observed.

"Certainly might mean _more _paperwork for me," Brumby replied, "But he's certainly in a better state here than he was when they found him."

"That we can all agree on," Kate replied.

"I hadn't been here a week when Roadblock's patrol brought Todd in," Brumby replied, "A mate of mine was on the patrol that found Todd."

"What's his name?" Kate asked.

"Sergeant Dave Sedgwick," Brumby replied, "A fellow Aussie actually."

"Some kind of military exchange program?" Kate asked.

"Yes," Brumby replied, before glancing at his watch, "I'd best be going."

As both Kate and Conrad waved a swift goodbye to Brumby, Kate turned to Conrad and said, "We do have an interview with Sergeant Sedgwick by coincidence."

* * *

**The Pit, Mess Hall  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****1 March 2002, 1142**

"I still think we're playing the gastrointestinal equivalent of Russian Roulette," Kate began as she and Conrad walked up to the Mess Hall.

"Our food supply is getting a little low, and dinner is definitely a to be avoided," Conrad replied, "I saw BA heading out on the road when I went out for a run. We're running a bit late for our interview with Sergeant Sedgwick."

"Ugh, good point, and we can head for the grocery store after the interview," Kate replied as they approached the Mess Hall entrance, passing Althea Delgato who was dropping her sisters off for their KP duty.

"Hey," Althea asked Kate, "Is everything alright with Todd?"

Althea's point blank question caught Kate slightly flat footed. _This could be awkward, after all Todd said he didn't want to see her just yet._

"He's doing alright," Kate replied noncommittally. _Not really a lie, but not the whole truth either._

"Okay," Althea said, disappointment clouding her features, her voice almost small as she replied, "C-can you tell him I miss him and that I hope to see him again."

"I'll do that," Kate replied.

Shipwreck sauntered out of the mess hall with a plastic bag with to go food, "Ok, kiddo, time to go. You'll be late for your chemistry lesson with Airtight."

"Okay, Dad," Althea replied.

_God I feel terrible lying to Althea like that, _Kate thought. _But at the same time Todd asked us not to tell Althea about his condition…_

"Penny for your thoughts?" Conrad asked softly as they fell in line.

"They're actually free," Kate replied, "I just feel terrible lying to Althea."

"I wouldn't say you lied to Althea, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, "You might have told a half truth, but I wouldn't say you lied."

"Still it just feels rotten to lie like that," Kate replied.

"I know how you feel about that, but frankly such painful truths are more Shipwreck's purview than ours."

With a sigh Kate replied, "You're right. But it doesn't make it any easier."

"But Todd did ask us to not let Althea know just what he's going through," Conrad replied, "Let's not forget that request."

It had been a few minutes at the table when they saw a man wearing the camouflage of the Australian Army approaching them. He had a thin sort of beard matching his tousled blond hair, and the sand brown beret of the Australian Special Air Service Regiment was tucked in on his belt.

"Agents Todd and Hart?" The man said as he approached, carrying his own tray of food.

"Yes," Conrad replied, "And you must be Sergeant Sedgwick."

"The Australian accent gave it away?" The man replied with a wry grin.

"That and the Auscam pattern," Conrad replied.

"Auscam?" Kate asked.

"A combination of the words Australian and Camouflage, Auscam," Sedgwick said as he set his tray of food onto the table.

"I swear military slang is like a totally different language," Kate commented before taking a sip of water.

"That it is," Sedgwick said, "I hope you don't mind my electing to do the interview a tad early."

"I don't, personally," Kate replied.

"Commander Brumby talked to me a while ago," Sedgwick replied, "I thought it best to talk to the pair of you when I saw you."

"Alright," Kate replied, as she reached for her PDA, noticing that Conrad had his notebook out as well, "What can you tell us about when your patrol first encountered Todd."

"We were in the Western Training Area in the woods outside of base, just before a rather nasty rainstorm…" Sedgwick began.

* * *

**The Pit, Western Training Area  
****Roadblock, Sedgwick, Todd Tolansky  
****31 January 2002, 0932**

"_Did you hear that?" Sergeant Dave Sedgwick said as he stopped._

"_The jet engine?" Roadblock asked from behind and to the right of him as they walked through the woods in a single patrol file. _

"_Yeah, sounded faint, like it's fading away," Sedgwick replied._

"_Dialtone," Roadblock said, turning to another G.I. Joe with a radio on his back, "Call to base and see if they have any flights over this area." _

_A clap of thunder sounded just then, "Looks like rain." _

_Then rain began to fall. _

"_Great," Dialtone remarked, "Rain. It's like a monsoon out here."_

"_Quiet!" Sedgwick hissed back._

"_What is it?" Roadblock asked quietly._

"_There, over there," Sedgwick whispered, pointing at a silhouette of a crouching human figure. Almost as soon as Sedgwick pointed, the figure turned and a scream issued. Then the figure began to hop away._

"_What the hell?" Sedgwick commented, "He's hopping like a bloody frog! Mutant?" _

"_Mutant or not the kid's gonna catch his death of cold," Roadblock said and took off running._

_Sedgwick started running as well, and out of the corner of his eye he could see the rest of the team following. _

"_We're not going to harm you," Sedgwick shouted._

_As they continued to run after him, Sedgwick noticed that the kid's leaps were covering a lot less ground. And suddenly the kid fell face forward into the mud. By the time they reached him, the boy lay face down on the ground, his face turned to one side._

_As he got closer Sedgwick could hear the boy mutter the words, "I...can't."_

_Tears streamed down the boy's face as he shut his eyes. Roadblock went to the boy's side, kneeling and gently squeezing his shoulder. _

"_Hey kid. Are you okay?" Roadblock asked._

_The boy continued to cry, body shaking. _

"_Easy, easy. We're not going to hurt you. We just wanna help. Who are you? What happened? Who did this to you?" Roadblock asked._

_The boy flinched, as if expecting Roadblock and the others to gun him down._

"_Listen, you don't have to be afraid of us. It doesn't matter that you're a mutant. We aren't going to hurt you. We just want to 're safe now. Okay?" _

"_It looks like he's in shock," Sedgwick said as he approached, removing his backpack and setting it to one side._

_He unzipped an outer pouch on his pack, withdrawing a poncho, "Dialtone, give us a hand here."_

_Dialtone approached the boy as Sedgwick laid out the poncho. Roadblock and Dialtone rolled Todd onto the spread out poncho and wrapped it around him before Roadblock lifted the boy off the ground._

"_It's okay, it's okay," Roadblock said softly, trying to reassure the boy as they headed for a nearby clearing._

_As they walked Sedgwick could hear Dialtone on his radio contacting the Pit about the teenage mutant they found in the swamp..._

* * *

To Be Continued...


	28. The Devil's Guard

The Devil's Guard

Disclaimer: Same as before. A shout-out to ckorkows for having given her take on journal entries and integrating them into storytelling.

* * *

**The Pit, General Hawk's Office  
****General Hawk, Dialtone, Scarlett, Stormshadow  
****1 March 2002, 1456**

As Dialtone, Scarlett and Stormshadow walked into the room, General Hawk looked up from his computer, "Dialtone, I have to say that I'm impressed with that program you wrote."

"Thank you, sir," Dialtone said, "A work of certifiable genius. You see when Agent Todd synchs her PDA with her laptop the program I wrote automatically sends her notes from that day to our communication center."

"Agent Hart's notes aren't quite as easily obtained," Scarlett interjected, "Given he tends to write things down on his notebook."

"I admit it is an exercise in stealth to get into their apartment and read Agent Hart's notes," Stormshadow added.

"From all your reports it seems like Agent Hart and Agent Todd are recommending Todd stay with us," Hawk replied, "And from my talk with General Flagg it looks like any thoughts of taking Todd to authorities specializing in mutants are on the backburner for now."

"So why the decision to keep those two under surveillance?" Scarlett asked.

"It's called being thorough," Hawk replied, "It's always good to know what ACME and the Secret Service know through their respective agents' reports."

"And guess what Agents Hart and Todd's superiors might do with the information they get," Scarlett nodded, as she handed Hawk a sealed envelope marked 'Eyes Only', "I see where you're coming from, sir."

"Where are Agents Todd and Hart now?" Hawk asked.

"Running an errand at the commissary," Dial Tone replied, "They finished their interview with Sergeant Sedgwick a little early. And it looks like they're stocking up on food again, probably to avoid BA's Turkey Surprise."

"Certainly smart of them," Stormshadow quipped.

* * *

**The Pit, The Commissary  
****Conrad Hart and Caitlin Todd  
****1 March 2002, 1459**

As they stopped at the traffic light near the entrance of the commissary parking lot Kate noticed Conrad softly singing a tune.

_Les Kepis Blanc. _Kate thought. _Conrad's mentioned that tune before._

"_Ob's stürmt oder schneit, ob die Sonne uns lacht, Der Tag glühend heiß, oder eiskalt die Nacht, Bestaubt sind die Gesichter, doch froh ist unser Sinn, ja, unser Sinn. Es braust unser Panzer im Sturmwind dahin._"

_Wait, that's not French, that's German, _Kate thought.

"Conrad?" Kate asked.

"Huh?" Conrad said, "Oh, sorry I was miles away."

"Definitely," Kate replied, "You were singing that German tanker's song. The one you said influenced _Kepis Blanc._"

"_Der Panzerlied_," Conrad affirmed with a smile, "I suppose you're wondering why I was singing it?"

"The thought crossed my mind," Kate said as the traffic light changed.

"Being a history buff I picked the tune up in my research on the song Kepis Blanc. I actually heard it performed in Germany by the _Bundeswehr_ choir some years ago," Conrad replied as he hit the gas.

"_Bundeswehr_?" Kate asked.

"The German army's post World War II name, it was once called the _Wehrmacht_," Conrad replied, "Anyway, regarding the song I used to sing it whenever I was driving vehicles or in the gun turret of one during my time in Africa. It's got a nice jaunty sort of air to it. Most of the verses do anyway."

"What do you mean most of the verses?" Kate asked.

"Well the last verse translates into this: And if we are abandoned by treacherous luck. And if we don't return home again. If death's bullet finds us and fate calls us away, yes away. Then our tank shall become an iron grave," Conrad replied.

Kate sighed, "Two things, Conrad. One I can see why you wouldn't sing that last verse and two you'd be a hell of a person to have on a trivia team."

"I'd happily give you a hand in such a matter, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied.

Kate smiled, "Thanks. And two I notice you seem to gravitate to the German versions of Legion songs a lot. Why?"

"The standard cadence of Legion marching songs is to keep marching formations moving at a rate of 88 per minute, which is much slower than one walks down the street," Conrad replied, "It is symbolic of somberness of death and is also a sign of respect. It can also be depressing."

"Okay," Kate replied.

"Every little bit helps dealing with _cafard,_" Conrad replied, "Even the fast and jaunty cadence of these German songs."

"_Cafard_?" Kate asked, puzzled.

"Legionnaire slang, referring to a metaphorical bug that devours the mind and the soul of a man driving him insane," Conrad replied, "Usually we use the term for what drives men to a maddening depression brought about by the stresses of Legion life."

"Oh," Kate asked as they stopped at the Officer's Quarters and Conrad parked the car. He popped the trunk and they stepped out. They carried their groceries up the stairs before returning to the car for their personal bags.

As they walked up the stairs Kate noticed an olive drab circular patch sewn onto Conrad's backpack. On it was a grinning skeleton wearing French army camouflage, sleeves rolled up to the elbows with the trademark Legionnaire kepis blanc worn at a rakish angle. The skeleton clutched a cigarette between its teeth while firing a submachine gun at a distant foe. The words _Commando Depuis: La Garde du Diable_ were sewn above the skeleton.

"A unit patch?" Kate asked.

"Yes," Conrad replied, "My team made it before we departed for the Central African Republic."

"What does _La Garde du Diable_ mean?" Kate asked.

"The Devil's Guard," Conrad replied, "One of the many nicknames the Legion has picked up throughout the years. At the Battle of Cameron in 1863 a Mexican officer that fought against the Legion said, 'These are not men, but devils'. And that is a reputation the Legion retains."

"I remember a Time Magazine article about the Legion with the headline, The Devil's Guard," Kate replied.

"In that case the article was written by a worthless leftist with an agenda," Conrad replied coldly.

"That's a tad harsh," Kate remarked, nearly dropping her bag with surprise at the intensity of Conrad's reaction.

"Is it?" Conrad said.

Kate headed to her laptop and with a few keystrokes called up the infamous _Time Magazine_ article together with the cover photo. The caption read _The French Foreign Legion. The Devil's Guard?_ The photo showed a young Cobra recruit, barely even eighteen years old being led away at gunpoint by two legionnaires. One of the boy's eyes was swollen closed, his lip was split and his arms were wrapped around his ribcage. His face was frozen in a contorted scream of agony.

"To quote the caption, 'Two legionnaires from _Commando Ramelle_ lead away a recently captured Cobra prisoner. The prisoner shows signs of having been beaten'," Kate replied.

_Commando Ramelle, among the first of the advisory teams deployed into Africa, _Conrad thought. _They served in the Democratic Republic of the Congo._

"The two legionnaires in the picture, Holck and Lipisky, actually saved that boy's life. The author clearly failed to state that fact!"

Kate looked incredulous, "By beating him up?"

"Let's not forget barely a half hour before this picture was taken the boy was trying to kill them," Conrad replied evenly, "And the legionnaires weren't the ones who beat him up. It was the Congolese militia they were fighting alongside. If Lipisky and Holck hadn't intervened the whelp would've been shot. Or _far _more likely hacked to death with machetes."

Kate blinked, "They wouldn't? Would they?"

"I for one can't blame the militias we worked with for such acts," Conrad replied, "The Cobra backed factions and indeed Cobra troops themselves committed acts of brutality on innocent people."

_Not to mention it wasn't uncommon for us to shoot Cobra soldiers caught in the act of rape or murder. _Conrad thought. _After what happened to Dr. Keller bastards like that deserved to be shot. That was the point where we decided any Cobra guilty of rape or murder would be shot on sight._

"I remember one older militiaman I fought alongside. His name was Claude. His wife, three daughters and niece had all been raped and shot by Cobra. People like him are the ones I feel empathy towards. Not the hateful bastards who caused that sort of suffering. They deserved the bullets," Conrad replied evenly. _I don't feel the least bit guilty that Claude gutted the ringleader of those bastards before we'd shot the rest. Every damned one of them deserved it._

"That's pretty harsh, Conrad," Kate blinked as she picked out the cold anger in Conrad's voice.

"No," Conrad replied, "Simply removing evil from the world. Nothing more."

* * *

**From Conrad Hart's notebook:**

_One thing I have known to be true is this. Evil is to be extinguished. Period. I still remember what became of Dr. Keller and her staff. All they did was treat sick and wounded people, it didn't matter what their affiliation or tribe. Even those from the faction supporting Cobra. And what did Cobra and its allies do? They destroyed the place, killing everyone inside, and far worse. Three simple words were on my mind after that discovery: Exterminate the brutes. _

_To me they were simply vermin to be killed, nothing more._

_Every one of us swore that no mercy would be shown to Cobras caught in the act of crimes like rape or murder that day. It made us the hated 'Skeleton Men' to some of the lower ranking enemy. I make no pretense to self righteousness. I do have things I will have to answer for at the end of my days. But I believe I carried out the lesser of two evils._

_Is it better to let an evil person live or kill them and end their evil? I think the latter is far more preferable. One cannot practice evil if dead. It is a far greater evil to allow those guilty of rape and murder to live. Best to kill them if caught in the act. Vae victus!_

_At least we were more merciful about it. A single bullet to the head or the occasional hanging. The tribal militiamen often did far worse to captured Cobras caught in the act of rape or murder. I recall machetes or wicked looking knives or the odd immolation being preferred. And what Cobra and its allies did to innocent people was much worse._

_The worst part? Finding that abattoir with pretenses of being a lab. I agree wholeheartedly with the French policy towards those scientists who performed these gruesome 'experiments': shoot on sight._

_One thing about the French, when they're resolved about something, they are truly resolved about something. Nothing bears this out more than the Second World War. My grandfather was barely seventeen when the Germans invaded France in 1940. At some stage he chose to fight alongside the Maquis after the Nazis killed my great grandparents for their supplying the Maquis with provisions._

_Perhaps it is best I read some of his old journals…_

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****1 March 2002, 1606**

"What are you reading?" Kate asked as she walked into the small living room in the apartment she and Conrad shared.

Conrad looked up from a notebook he had been reading, "Some of my grandfather's old memoirs."

"The one you told me about, with the GCMA?" Kate asked.

"_Tres bien, mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied with a grin, "But this particular notebook is from when my _grand-père_ fought with the _maquis_."

"_Maquis_?" Kate asked.

"French guerilla bands that fought against the Germans. They initially formed to avoid being conscripted as laborers for the Third Reich, but later became active fighting units," Conrad replied, "My _grand-père_ was barely 17 when he joined them."

"So if he fought in the French Resistance through World War II and later in the Indochina War he was a soldier his whole adult life," Kate remarked.

"I remember my _grand-mère_ gave me his notebooks as a graduation gift when I graduated from high school. I only recently began reading them," Conrad replied wistfully, "As I read his memoirs I only wish I could have met him."

"He sounds like a brave fellow," Kate replied as she sat down on the sofa beside Conrad.

"That he was. And I've gotten a greater sense of that as I read his memoirs," Conrad replied.

"So what got you interested in studying your grandfather's notebooks more closely?" Kate asked as she turned on the television set.

"When I volunteered to serve with the _Groupment Mixte d'Interventione_, roughly translating as French military advisory teams," Conrad replied, "I remembered that my grandfather had served in the GCMA during the Indochina War. It initially started because I wanted to understand the type of mission I had volunteered for."

"And what did that evolve into?" Kate asked.

"Getting a better sense of who he was as a man," Conrad replied.

"And what sense do you get from reading his notebooks?" Kate asked.

"An honest and courageous fellow," Conrad replied, gently setting the notebook down, "I'm getting a better sense of someone I've never even met. And now someone I wish I could have met. Between my _grand-mère's _stories and his notebooks he really comes to life."

"She must miss him," Kate said.

"As I've said, _mademoiselle_, she walks along the seashore every morning just to remember," Conrad replied, "They met shortly after the Second World War and were young lovers."

"It's almost like how Todd and Althea are," Kate commented, and with a sigh she added, "Do you think their relationship will help Todd heal?"

"We can only hope so," Conrad replied.

"I still feel bad about telling Althea that little white lie. I mean she's a smart girl and she'll probably figure out Todd's in the emotional state he's in," Kate sighed.

Conrad replied, with a small smile, "I do think that the love they have for each other will help Todd through this."

"So do you believe in the healing power of love?" Kate asked.

"I do know love can do marvelous things, but I've seen it also cause harm," Conrad replied evenly.

"Something in the past?" Kate asked.

"It is always best to let the past remain the past, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied softly before heading towards his room.

"Conrad?" Kate asked.

"Yes," Conrad replied, turning to face her.

"I'm sorry, about whatever it was…" Kate began.

"_Mademoiselle, _I had my own fault in those matters," Conrad replied softly.

"Maybe it might help to talk about it," Kate suggested.

"Perhaps some other time," Conrad countered.

_He's not ready to tell me anything, _Kate thought to herself. _Respect the man's privacy. It's certainly a softer answer than he gave me earlier._

As Conrad turned to head to his room he heard Kate say, "Conrad?"

He turned to face her, "Yes."

"If you don't mind, do you regret anything?" Kate asked.

"_Je ne regrette rien_," Conrad replied, "It's a saying _les anciens _of _La Legion_ have when asked about their time in the service."

"What does it mean?" Kate asked.

"I regret nothing," Conrad replied, "And with that, _mademoiselle_, I bid you good night."

"Good night," Kate said softly before she turned to her own room.

* * *

To Be Continued...


	29. Hints and Missing Lovers

Hints and Missing Lovers

Disclaimer: Same as before…

* * *

The night of the first of March would find Conrad journeying in slumber back to Fiddler's Green. As he strode out of the shade of the poplar trees that dotted the meadow, walking towards the red brick building he could hear the tune of _Der Westerwaldlied._

"_Heute wollen wir marschieren. Einen neuen Marsch probieren. In dem schönen Westerwald. Ja da pfeift der Wind so kalt." _The lyrics echoed in company with clanging clatter of the out of tune piano as Conrad opened the door, "_In dem schönen Westerwald. Ja da pfeift der Wind so kalt."_

He could see half a dozen legionnaires in the uniform of the Indochina war of the 1950s clustered around the piano while a seventh legionnaire hammered at the keys. The legionnaires singing held mugs of ale in various stages of consumption.

"Another bloody _Wehrmacht_ song?" Putman grumbled as Conrad stepped into the taven's smoky insides.

"It's not a bad tune," Conrad replied, heading over to the bar to order a pint for himself. _Might as well join them._

"_Oh, Du schöner Westerwald. Über Deine Höhen pfeift der Wind so kalt. Jedoch der kleinste Sonnenschein. Dringt tief ins Herz hinei…" _a table full of legionnaires from World War II added their voices to the singing.

"What are we? The bloody _Waffen-SS_?" Putman grumbled.

"I would like to point out that the _Wehrmacht _and _Waffen-SS_ were two different branches of the German military in the Second World War," Conrad replied, "And for better or worse they influenced the Legion."

"For fucks sake, not this again!" Ian groused as he sauntered over, a half empty beer mug in one hand and his _kepi _worn at a rakish angle, "Hart, it's bad enough your first unit was that sodding _Kampfgruppe Wasner_, but do you have to keep singing those sodding German tunes?"

"Anything to ward off _cafard,_" Conrad countered.

"_Und die Gretel und der Hans. Gehn des Sonntags gern zum Tanz. Weil das Tanzen Freude macht. Und das Herz im Leibe lacht,"_ A quartet of legionnaires from the 1920s sounded off as a fifth man from their number drunkenly danced with a barmaid, "_Weil das Tanzen Freude macht. Und das Herz im Leibe lacht." _

"True enough," Ian conceded.

"But what about that whole bloody _Wehrmacht _and _Waffen-SS_ bit?" Putman asked, after taking a long slug of beer from his mug, "Especially how they influenced the Legion?"

"The combat experience veterans of both services brought to the table meant that Foreign Legion units in battle stood a better chance of surviving in Indochina and Algeria," Conrad replied.

"_Oh, Du schöner Westerwald. Über Deine Höhen pfeift der Wind so kalt. Jedoch der kleinste Sonnenschein. Dringt tief ins Herz hinei…" _The cluster of legionnaires around the piano bellowed, waving beer mugs.

"You do bring up a good point, Hart," Ian said, raising his voice to be heard.

"However accepting ex-_Wehrmacht_ and _Waffen-SS_ blokes into the Legion did bring some bad traits in as well," Putman replied, "For instance some strains of racism, which you can see sometimes the treatment of _les Africains,_ even those who do join the Legion...me being a case in point."

"And, Putman, you do bring up a point," Conrad replied.

"_Ist das Tanzen dann vorbei. Gibt es meistens Keilerei. Und dem Bursch, den das nicht freut, __sagt man nach, er hat kein' Schneid," _Van Pelt called out. He was drinking with a trio of legionnaires from the Indochina era.

"_Und dem Bursch, den das nicht freut, sagt man nach, er hat kein' Schneid!_" Van Pelt's three mates echoed.

"Well it certainly lends credence to the rumors that Van Pelt ran with a rather dodgy group of skinheads before he joined the Legion," Putman grumbled as he took a pull of his beer.

"Look, I know the two of you butted heads," Conrad replied, "But let's not forget Van Pelt saved your life at Boot Hill."

Putman shuddered at the memory, "That bloody first battle with Cobra's Iron Grenadiers."

"When they really took the Central African Republic campaign seriously," Ian added with a somber look.

"Look at the one bloke's sleeve, though," Putman remarked, indicating one of the legionnaires with Van Pelt.

Conrad did look over and noticed that on the 1950s pattern French army camouflage of the legionnaire in question was cuffband that read _Das Reich. _

"That's a dead giveaway that the bloke was a member of the 2nd SS Panzer Division, _Das Reich,"_ Putman whispered.

"In any case, Putman, the song is about marching through the mountains and forests of the Westerwald region of Germany. Hardly the _Horsst Wessel,_" Conrad replied, before taking down a drink of his own beer.

"Let's not forget that verse Van Pelt is singing is about fighting," Putman countered.

"True," Conrad replied, "But it's a soldier's song. Of course it will contain references to fighting."

"That's what _legionnaires_ do, Putman," Ian grinned before draining his mug of beer, "Be it scrapping with one another or having a go at the enemy."

"_Oh, Du schöner Westerwald. Über Deine Höhen pfeift der Wind so kalt. Jedoch der kleinste Sonnenschein. Dringt tief ins Herz hinei…"_ The group at the piano sang at the top of their lungs as the fellow that had been drunkenly dancing with the barmaid keeled face forward into the floor to the chorus of raucous laughter from his mates.

The finishing notes of _Der Westerwaldlied_ echoed through the tavern as Conrad felt his surroundings fade.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****02 March 2002, 0514**

Kate yawned as she headed into the kitchen with her laptop tucked under her arm. She saw Conrad preparing a pot of coffee, lightly singing a tune.

"_Oh, Du schöner Westerwald. Über Deine Höhen pfeift der Wind so kalt. Jedoch der kleinste Sonnenschein. Dringt tief ins Herz hinei…_"

"The _Westerwaldlied?_" Kate asked.

Conrad nodded, and with a faint grin said, "_Tres bien, mademoiselle._"

"Let me guess, our conversation yesterday put this song on your mind?" Kate asked as she reached up into a nearby cabinet to grab her coffee mug.

"Partially," Conrad replied, "And a visit to Fiddler's Green."

"Fiddler's Green?" Kate asked.

"Call me crazy, but sometimes when I dream I visit a meadow with plentiful poplar trees as shade. And in this meadow is a cantina called Fiddler's Green. It's a place where the shades of all Legionnaires encamp. Beer and spirits flow freely, wounds, age and infirmity fade, it's a Legionnaire's Elysium," Conrad replied softly.

"I assume your friends from _Commando Depuis _are the as well?" Kate asked as the coffee pot finished percolating.

Conrad nodded, "And yes, the _Westerwaldlied _was sung loudly."

"Conrad, I don't think you're crazy at all," Kate replied, "You're hoping your friends found some sort of peace in the afterlife. Just out of curiosity, what is Fiddler's Green? I've heard of it somewhere before."

"I remember there's a poem called Fiddler's Green," Conrad replied, "It's a US Cavalry poem based on a sailor's legend of the afterlife."

"Where I'm sure booze flows freely and of course pleasant company is there to have?" Kate asked, with a wry smile.

"Yes, actually," Conrad replied with a tired smile in reply, "Possibly Shipwreck's interpretation of the ideal afterlife."

Kate chuckled despite herself, before turning her head to look out the kitchen window.

"What's going on?" Conrad asked.

"Look out the window," Kate replied.

Conrad turned his head, "Unless the Pit somehow gained a population of feral parrots overnight, I'd say that's Polly flying by."

"Huh, wonder what he could be up to?" Kate asked.

* * *

**Delgato Residence  
****Althea Delgato and Shipwreck  
****01 March 2002, 1930**

"Where is he? Where are they keeping him?" Althea demanded, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Althea," Shipwreck replied, as he took his daughter by the hand, leading her towards the sofa in their living room, "Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Althea snapped, "It's been three days! I haven't seen him since the Generals' meeting. What happened to him?"

"Althea…" Shipwreck began.

"The last thing I heard was that Hawk was talking to him for hours and then he just disappeared," Althea replied, digging her heels.

After a brief sob and a hiccup, she added, "He's at the dojo, isn't he? That's why I haven't had a lesson there. Right?"

"Althea," Shipwreck began, as he guided his daughter to the sofa and sat down beside her, "You just have to calm down and accept the fact that you can't see him right now."

"Why?" Althea cried out, "_Why _won't they let me see him?"

"Remember what I told you about your mother? How she was experimented on?" Shipwreck asked.

Althea nodded, tears in her eyes. A choked sob was followed by a hiccup.

"Well, the same thing happened to Todd," Shipwreck replied, taking his daughter's hand.

"Who did that to him?" Althea sniffed.

"We're not sure…" Shipwreck began.

"You do know," Althea countered.

"It's not my place to tell you," Shipwreck replied.

"I knew he had nightmares and a lot of bad stuff happened to him in foster homes," Althea sighed, shaking her head, "But…"

Shipwreck squeezed his daughter's hand, before pulling her close to him with his other arm. Althea asked, "What are they doing to him now?"

"It's kind of complicated," Shipwreck replied, "Stormshadow is giving him special training as well as Psyche-Out working with him. He's really going through a rough time."

"But…" Althea began.

"Listen," Shipwreck replied, "It's nothing personal. He just doesn't want to face anyone right now. He's hurting really bad. He's ashamed."

"Why? It wasn't his fault!" Althea replied with a sniffle, "It doesn't make any sense!"

"It's a pride thing," Shipwreck said with a shrug.

"But I _want_ to _help_ him!" Althea cried out, "I can help him!"

"Right now the best thing you can do is let him work through this on his own," Shipwreck told her.

"It was Magneto and Mystique that did this to him, wasn't it?" Althea asked.

Shipwreck nodded. "Honey just give him him time. When he's ready, he'll let you know."

Althea looked at him and said nothing. She stood up from the couch, walked up the stairs to her bedroom.

She walked in, not closing the door totally, and flopped down on her bed. She heard the flapping of wings and saw Polly flying into the room and landing beside her.

"Awk! Little swabbie okay?" Polly said as he landed on her bed.

"No," Althea sighed.

"Polly help?"

"No there's…" Althea began before suddenly sitting up.

"Awk?"

"Actually, yes! There's something you can do! Come on bird!"

"Awk! Me and my big beak!" Polly sighed.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****02 March 2002, 0537**

Conrad walked over to the kitchen table to grab his cell phone. As he reached over Kate grabbed his wrist. He glanced over at Kate inquisitively.

"Somebody's got to let Shipwreck know his bird's flying around loose, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied.

"Not just yet, Conrad," Kate replied with a smile.

"I hope what passes for Animal Control around here doesn't catch him," Conrad smirked as he felt what he could only describe as an electric charge running through his arm. He glanced downward to see Kate's hand still on his wrist.

They looked at one another, eye to eye for a moment before quickly parting. _Doesn't help that I find this woman quite attractive. _Conrad thought to himself. _The last thing I need is the complication of being smitten. _

"Ahem," Conrad replied, "As I was saying, I hope the ack ack doesn't get Polly."

"Ack ack?" Kate asked.

"Slang for antiaircraft artillery," Conrad replied.

"Knowing this place I wouldn't be surprised if they _did _use antiaircraft artillery as a form of animal control," Kate replied with a smirk as she reached over for her windbreaker.

"Wait, you're following that bird?" Conrad asked.

"Just because we're not calling Shipwreck doesn't mean we shouldn't try and see where this bird is going."

"_C'est vrai, mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied, grabbing his own jacket, "So what piqued your curiosity?"

"Call it a feeling," Kate replied with a smile on her face.

Conrad followed her out the door and down the hall and stairs before heading outside. As they walked Kate heard Conrad whistling a tune she hadn't heard before. It had that same jaunty yet martial air a lot of the songs she knew he liked.

"What are you whistling?" Kate asked.

"_Morgen Marcshieren Wir_," Conrad replied, "It's an old _Wehrmacht_ song that translates as Tomorrow We March. It's a soldier saying goodbye to his sweetheart."

"Interesting," Kate replied. _Wonder if it's referring to a sweetheart he misses? There was a certain wistfulness in how he replied._

"It and _Der Westerwaldlied_ are my favorites," Conrad replied.

"Any reasons why?" Kate asked. _I'm especially curious about Morgen Marschieren Wir. _

"They're both lively, jaunty tunes, perfect for warding off _la cafard_," Conrad shrugged, "And I found the themes of _Morgen Marschieren Wir_ to be heartening and moving."

"How so?" Kate asked.

"In the song the soldier sings of a sweetheart that will miss him dearly at the front when he marches off the next morning. For three of the five verses he speaks of trying to console his sweetheart because he can't stay with her," Conrad replied as they followed Polly.

"That seems so sweet and sad," Kate replied. _When Tim goes back to the regular Marine Corps I can only imagine how I'm going to feel when he goes on deployment. Especially to Iraq or Afghanistan,._

"To me the last verse is most poignant," Conrad replied, "It translates as: 'Sweetheart I love you true. But be married, I can not do. Wait for me a year. Then when we are near. We'll be quite a pair!' Gets me misty eyed sometimes."

Kate smiled warmly, "I had no idea you were such a romantic."

"As a wise man once said, the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return," Conrad replied. _God that smile of hers…_

"Nice reference to both the _Moulin Rouge_ and the Bohemian movement," Kate replied. _There's a lot more to this guy than meets the eye. There's something emotionally wounded about the man._

"The movie was a bit melodramatic for my liking, but I do see a lot to like in the Bohemian ideals: Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love," Conrad replied.

"No offense, Conrad, but Bohemian is the last word I would use to describe you," Kate replied with astonishment as they followed Polly's path through a forested glade.

"None taken, _mademoiselle_," Conrad smirked.

"What do you think of love?" Kate asked.

"As I've said before, in my experience wonderful things and painful things result from it at the same time," Conrad replied, emotion tinging his voice.

_There's definitely a tone of loss there. Maybe regret. _Kate felt the tightness in her chest. _Why do you care so much? _

"Conrad, whatever it was, I'm so sorry," Kate replied, walking up to him and giving him a hug.

The ex-Legionnaire looked a bit taken aback, but rallied and returned Kate's kind hug. After a few moments they let go. _That was very kind of her. _

"I'll tell you a little more later, _mademoiselle,_ but as it stands we have a parrot to follow," Conrad replied softly.

After picking up the pace Conrad turned to Kate and said, "I don't know about you but don't you recognize the route?"

"You're right," Kate replied, "This path leads toward the Ninja Dojo."

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Todd Tolansky and Stormshadow  
****02 March 2002, 0604**

Todd stood in the darkened dojo, dressed entirely in black. His eyes were closed as if in deep thought. Suddenly a dozen arrows flew straight for him. His eyes flew open, and he dodged eleven of them easily. The twelfth he caught in his hand.

Quickly he hurled it at a target in the wall. It missed the bullseye, impacting into the wall.

"ARGH!" Todd groaned with exasperation.

"Patience," Stormshadow said as he came out of the shadows.

"But…" Todd began.

Stormshadow held up a hand, "You have gained so much in a short amount of time. One does not become a master the day one starts as a pupil."

"I still failed," Todd groaned, hanging his head. _At least here they don't hit me for failing._

"Sometimes failure can be more instructive than success," Stormshadow replied.

Todd's face scrunched up with confusion as he removed his ninja mask, "I thought there was no room for failure."

"On missions, no. Training, however, is another matter," Stormshadow said calmly, "You must learn how to turn failure in here into success out there. Your arm is too forward when you throw. You must limit its movement slightly."

Stormshadow pulled one of the eleven arrows Todd had caught off of the floor and threw it. The arrow thudded into the bullseye, quivering slightly.

"Shall I do it again, Sensei?" Todd asked.

"That will be enough for now," Stormshadow nodded. "Go meditate in the garden. You must focus your mind. Next time you will be ready."

Todd bowed and exited the dojo into the courtyard garden. He picked a spot underneath a bonsai tree, near an artfully constructed waterfall. He sat down, cross legged, closing his eyes, forcing his mind to become blank. Or more like attempting to do so...

_Seeing Mommy lying on the ground. Her eyes were open, but there was no spark in them. No longer would he see that warm affection she reserved only for her little boy...no longer...since his father had his hands around her neck and was squeezing. _

_Mommy had been yelling. Now Mommy wasn't yelling. She had been squirming, scratching. Now Mommy wasn't moving and…_

Todd opened his eyes, breathing hard. The sound of wings flapping overhead helped to distract him from that eight year old memory. He looked upward to see a green and yellow parrot flying overhead.

"Awk! Special Delivery!" Polly cawed as he flew in a circle around Todd's head. Then he dropped an envelope from his feet.

Todd caught the note and opened it. As he read it, he felt tears stream into his eyes.

**Todd,**

**They won't let me see you, but they can't stop me from writing you! I know what Magneto, Mystique, and all those monsters did to you! It's not your fault! You have no idea how much I want to tell you that in person.**

**I know we've only known each other a short time, but it feels like I'm losing my best friend. I miss you! I want to help you but I don't know what to do! Please Todd, tell me what I have to do to have you come back to me!**

**Althea**

**P.S. If you need me to bust you out or something, let me know, okay? **

Wiping his eyes and sniffling Todd re-read the note. His heart skipping a beat he looked up, seeing Polly circling overhead he called out, "Listen bird! I want you to take a message…"

* * *

To Be Continued...


	30. Masses, Lunches, and Missing Lovers

Masses, Lunches, and Missing Lovers

Disclaimer: Same as before.

* * *

_Tim,_

_I saw something yesterday that I can't help smiling about. I saw Polly, Shipwreck's parrot, flying free. Conrad and I followed him to see him fly to the Ninja Dojo. It looked like he dropped a note of some kind._

_I think it was a love note from Althea to Todd. That relationship is what the boy needs. I can't help but think of how beautiful it is._

_I love you. And I miss you. So much._

_Kate_

* * *

**The Pit, The Chapel  
Caitlin Todd and Conrad Hart  
03 March 2002, 0845**

As they walked towards the chapel Kate heard a couple notes of a tune Conrad was whistling as they approached the steps.

"Another Legion song?" Kate asked.

"Yes," Conrad replied, "It's called _Connaissez-vous ces Hommes_. That translates into 'Do you know these men?'. It was an adaptation of a World War II German song called _Afrika Korps Lied_ or '_Afrika Korps_ Song'," Conrad replied with a wry grin.

"Yet another Foreign Legion song with German influences," Kate observed.

"There was a Vietnamese commissar during the Indochina War of the 1950s that had remarked almost the whole of the Legion is German," Conrad replied, "That was, of course, propaganda by the communists."

"Seems like there are a lot of Germans in the Legion even now," Kate replied, "Didn't you say that two of the sergeants in your former unit were Germans."

"Yes, in fact my section was nicknamed _Kampfgruppe Wasner,_" Conrad supplied.

"_Kampfgruppe_?" Kate asked.

Conrad added, "_Kampfgruppe_ is German for battle group from World War II, typically these were ad hoc German formations assembled for a particular task and tended to be nicknamed after their commanding officer. For instance _Kampfgruppe Peiper_ was the armored task force led by Joachim Peiper during the Battle of the Bulge. In our case we were given our nickname because our senior sergeant happened to be German."

"What's this song about?" Kate asked.

"It basically translates as 'Do You Know These Men'. It details all the places the Legion's battles of the Second World War and fighting resolutely," Conrad replied.

"In other words more depressing that _Morgen_ _Marschieren Wir,_" Kate replied.

"_Oui, mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied with wry grin. As they approached the chapel's front door Conrad opened the door and with a gesture and a grin said, "After you?"

"Thank you," Kate replied with a smile.

Kate dipped her fingers in the Holy Water and crossed herself. Conrad did so as well, following her to the pew near the middle of the chapel on the far right.

"What do you think Polly was doing at the dojo yesterday morning?" Kate asked.

"It looked like he was carrying something, but he was a bit too far away for me to make it out clearly," Conrad replied.

Kate smiled, "What if it was a love note from Althea?"

"It could be so, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied with his own smile.

"It's so sweet, what they have," Kate said.

"Very beautiful," Conrad replied softly, "I just hope that their young love can survive the trials ahead."

"I think it will," Kate replied, before turning to face him, "It sounds like you believe in love and its power."

"I do, mademoiselle, but I also am aware of its capacity to do harm in my own experience," Conrad replied.

"You've said that before," Kate observed.

"Didn't Ambrose Bierce did say that love was a temporary insanity curable by marriage?" Conrad asked.

_What could have happened to him to make him that jaded?_ Kate thought to herself. _Even in that brief revelation I can feel the hurt._

Unable to contain her curiosity asked, "What happened to you, Conrad? What's got you so skeptical about love?"

"Have you ever loved to an extent that you were willing to lay it all on the line for someone?" Conrad asked, "And then, have you ever been betrayed by said someone? Your sacrifice being for naught?"

_Was that what drove him into the Legion? I mean that SDSU report said he struck a Marine Corps officer, _Kate thought. _It didn't say much more. His statement simply read it was a matter of honor_.

"If you need to talk," Kate said, with an audible gulp, "I'm just down the hall."

"_Merci, mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied, "You may well have a heart bigger than any of ours. I do hope Tim appreciates that."

"Thank you," Kate replied, looking at the former Legionnaire. _The signs of the hurt are subtle, but they're there if you know where to look._

"Please understand this, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, "I do intend to tell you, but now would not be the best time."

"Fifteen minutes before Mass isn't the best time for a heart to heart," Kate replied.

"Agreed, _mademoiselle_," Conrad said, his face once more reverting to the more or less neutral expression.

The Mass presently began, and Kate found herself glancing at the ex-Legionnaire in her pew. All the signs of past inner wounds were there, now that she knew where to look.

"And for those intentions we hold in the silence of our hearts," the chaplain said.

Kate turned to her right, noticing Conrad's eyes were closed as he seemed engrossed his prayer. _Though he always says 'Je Ne Regrette Rien' I wonder what regrets he retains._

It was during the Our Father as they held hands that Conrad felt that electric feeling that would happen with physical contact involving Kate.

_She's definitely got one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen, _Conrad thought to himself. _I may have sworn to never love again after what happened. But if I met someone like Kate I could see myself doing so again._

Conrad blinked. _Where the devil did that come from?_

"Conrad?" Kate said.

"Huh?" Conrad said, blinking his eyes.

"The Our Father is over," Kate replied, "You can let go of my hand."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, "I…"

"Had a lot on your mind?" Kate whispered.

"You could say that," Conrad replied, "But I promise, we'll talk about it."

"Okay," Kate replied, with a slight gulp, "Just please know you're not alone and that you have someone that cares."

"Your compassion is both welcome and touching, _mademoiselle_," Conrad said with a slight lump in his throat.

* * *

**The Pit, Intelligence Center  
****Dial Tone, Lady Jaye, and Flint  
****03 March 2002, 1200**

"Looks like she connected her PDA to the laptop again. Now that they're synching we'll get her next batch notes," Dial Tone began.

"Put it up on the plasma," Flint replied, taking a sip of water from his water bottle.

**Agent Todd PDA File  
03 March 2002:**

_If anything word could describe the last two days it would be interesting. Yesterday I saw Shipwreck's parrot, Polly, flying free. Conrad and I followed him only to find he went to the Ninja Dojo where Todd is undergoing treatment. It looked like he was carrying a note, maybe from Althea, in his claws._

_I don't plan on letting Roadblock or Stormshadow know about this just yet. In my professional opinion I think Althea and Todd's budding relationship is what Todd needs to heal. I can't help but smile when I think about what I saw when we found them swimming in the ocean together._

_Another thing I noticed is Conrad. He's been reluctant to say anything about why he joined the Legion, or indeed much about his past before it. The last couple days have been a breakthrough as far as I can think._

_Incidentally my breakthrough came with discussing one of the many former Wehrmacht songs that migrated into the French Foreign Legion, Morgen Marschieren Wir. It translates into 'Tomorrow We March' and it speaks of a soldier missing a lover._

_I couldn't help but notice Conrad's wistful tone when he recalled it. There's definitely a wound somewhere in his past. When I talked to him about it he told me there was something in his past. He promised he'd tell me what it is at some future point._

"What do you think?" Lady Jaye asked.

"She's definitely sweet him," Flint replied.

Lady Jaye elbowed him in the ribs, "That I see, but I was talking about with the Todd and Althea thing. Think we should let Roadblock know?"

"Sure, but I also think we should have Psyche Out know too, so he can observe the boy's progress," Flint replied.

"We should delay letting Roadblock know as well," Lady Jaye replied, "Let's let the situation develop."

Stormshadow walked into the room just then, an envelope in his left hand, "I've got some pictures of the latest entry Agent Hart's notebook."

Flint and Lady Jaye crowded around Stormshadow to take a look at the newest entry.

**From Agent Hart's Notebook  
03 March 2002**

_I'll say these last three days have been something interesting to say the least. Not the least of which is this developing relationship between Todd and Althea. I do honestly think that this new relationship is a good thing for Todd. However I do wonder if it will be sufficient for the boy._

_This brings me to my second 'interesting' namely my partner, Kate. She seems to believe the same, minus my skepticism. Though I do believe strongly in Truth, Beauty, Freedom and Love I maintain a healthy dose of wariness, as I've seen love hurt as well as heal in my life._

_Kate and I had a bit of a discussion regarding that. Incidentally the way in was the song Morgen Marschieren Wir. For me that song is one that is poignant. For me it's jaunty tune and it's hopeful themes were helpful in warding off the effects of la cafard, or at least keeping them at bay when serving in La Legion._

_It did lead to another thing. I think Kate has one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen. Any man who has won her love and trust is indeed fortunate. If I were to fall in love again it would be with someone like Kate._

_I truly feel I am a fortunate man to have won her friendship…_

"This set of notes is much more personal than the last," Stormshadow observed.

"As if hearing him ranting about how evil is to be extinguished for pages on end isn't?" Flint replied.

"Flint…" Lady Jaye replied, shooting her husband a warning glare.

"Speaking of our two agents, aren't you two handling them today?" Stormshadow asked.

"Yes, we're actually meeting them for lunch at Coconut Pete's today," Flint replied.

* * *

**Coconut Pete's  
Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
03 March 2002, 1231**

"So what are you thinking?" Kate asked, looking over at Conrad, who glanced out the window for a few moments with a far away look on his face.

"Well, I'm wondering if our two young, star crossed mutant lovers are planning some manner of tryst tonight," Conrad replied, turning his attention back towards Kate.

Kate smirked, "I'll bet you they are."

"And what, _mademoiselle_, would you be willing to bet?" Conrad replied with a wry grin of his own.

"You're really going for a wager here, Hart?" Kate replied.

Conrad replied, "No, as I am agreeing with you it would be a bit superfluous to make a bet."

"Alright, smart guy," Kate quipped, "What would you be willing to bet _if_ you were opposed to me?"

"Well, if they didn't have their tryst I would want to know the story behind the rose you've got tattooed on your butt," Conrad replied.

"How did you know about…" Kate began, before remembering, "Oh, from when you walked in on me in the shower a few weeks ago?"

"_Oui, mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied with a smirk, "What about you? What would you bet me if they did have this tryst?"

"Alright," Kate replied, "I'd want to know exactly why you joined the French Foreign Legion."

"A tattoo's origin story versus my reasons for joining the Legion?" Conrad replied, "An interesting choice."

Kate replied, "Well you know something personal about me, it's only fair I know something personal about you."

"When you present it that way, _mademoiselle_, I do see your point," Conrad replied.

"Speaking of ink," Kate asked, "Do you have any tattoos?"

"One, Kate," Conrad replied evenly.

"What is it?" Kate replied, then realizing something she added, "Conrad, if it's in a very personal place…"

Conrad raised his hand, cutting her off, before he began to unbutton the cuff of his right sleeve, rolling it all the way to his shoulder.

Kate took a look at Conrad's upper arm, near where it met his shoulder. She could see the profile of a skull wearing the trademark _kepi blanc_ at a rakish angle. Below it were the letters **N.J.N.R.R.** in elaborate script.

"What does that mean?" Kate asked.

"The skull and the _kepi blanc_ are fairly obvious," Conrad replied, "My service in the _La Legion Etrangere._"

"No, the letters NJNRR," Kate asked.

"Well, _mademoiselle_, it stands for this phrase, '_Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien_'," Conrad replied, "Which translates into…"

"No, I Regret Nothing," Lady Jaye said as she and Flint approached the table.

"_Tres bien, mademoiselle,_" Conrad commented as the two took their seats.

"You guys are a bit late," Kate observed.

"Traffic was a killer. And no it wasn't Shipwreck's doing this time," Flint replied.

"_Je ne regrette rien_," Kate began, "Conrad, didn't you say that's a thing all ex-Legionnaires say?"

Conrad nodded, "So much so that it became part of the refrain of a very famous song by Edith Piaf, a famous French singer. She sang it in 1960."

"That's famous in the Legion's history, isn't it?" Flint asked.

Conrad nodded his head, "It was after the failed coup of 1961 which the 1st Foreign Parachute Regiment of _La Legion_ participated in. Degaulle had the unit disbanded and in a final act of spite the paratroopers defiantly sang the song's lyrics as they dynamited their barracks before marching into imprisonment."

"Which were?" Kate asked.

"No, none, none at all! No, my regrets are all gone. The fun I've had and the pain, I have let it all go. No, none, none at all! No my regrets are all gone, washed off, wiped out and away. _So to hell with the past!_" Conrad supplied.

_Very appropriate for you,_ Conrad. Kate thought to herself. Concern etched her features briefly, as she could hear the raw emotion in Conrad's voice as he recounted the lyrics. _Whatever it was in the past it had to have hurt. I could feel the emphasis on that last part._

The ex-Legionnaire rolled his sleeve back down, buttoning it back into place. He reached over to take a sip from his water glass, trying to remain nonchalant.

"So what prompted this talk of tattoos?" Flint asked.

"Simply a side conversation," Conrad replied evenly. _There's no way I'm going to mention anything about knowing about Kate's tattoo._

_Something else is going on here,_ Lady Jaye thought as she finished a sip of her own glass of water.

"Okay," Lady Jaye interjected, "So what was the 'main conversation'?"

"A discussion on a possible tryst between Althea and Todd," Conrad replied.

"Oh," Flint replied, "So you think the two lovebirds are going to sneak out and see one another?"

_As if we didn't know. But we don't want either Agent Hart or Agent Todd to know they're being watched._ Flint thought to himself.

"I'll bet on that," Kate replied.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
Althea Delgato and Todd Tolansky  
03 March 2002, 2248**

Todd glanced around him for what felt like the hundredth time before sliding down the rope towards the ground outside the dojo. Glancing around and upward, seeing the full moon and smiling slightly. It meant he would have light for this important mission.

Quietly he crept across the base, intent on avoiding contact with any of the adults. He threw himself flat into a patch of high grass as a Humvee driven by Beach Head moved along the road. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest as he heard the vehicle drive by.

_Busted_. Todd thought to himself.

To his surprise the vehicle continued moving onward through the moonlit night. Once the sound of the engine faded into the distance he stood back up and resumed his journey. He reached a secluded glade on the shores of a small pond.

He looked around again before whistling a high pitched whistle. He heard a second whistle in reply and felt his heart race for the second time that night. He whistled once again, the pre-arranged signal to show he hadn't been followed. The bushes to his front, and to the the right rustled and Althea emerged.

Todd rushed over to Althea. _She looks more beautiful than I remember._

In the moonlight Todd took her in his arms, pulling her close. He could feel her arms wrapping around the back of his neck. He leaned forward and kissed her passionately. Then he buried his face in her neck, taking in her scent.

With a sniffle he whispered, "I missed you."

"Me too," Althea replied, kissing him back before just holding him close. She felt Todd return the embrace. After a while she let go, looking around, before taking his hand.

"Come on," Althea said, leading Todd along the shore of the pond, towards a trail that led into the woods. They came to a stop in a small clearing with a profusion of wildflowers and a large flat rock. Althea guided him to a sitting position and for several minutes they just held each other, not speaking as Althea stroked his hair. Then Todd pulled away.

"What's wrong?"

Todd sighed. "It's just….I mean there's so much…"

"Todd…" Althea began gently.

"There's just so much I have to tell you. But it's hard to say," Todd replied, blinking.

"Take your time. I'm here for you," Althea said.

Todd took a deep breath. "I didn't just want to shut you out without telling you but...I had to. I...needed to be alone for a while. I just couldn't be around you. It's not you. It's me. When I started to remember…" Todd stopped and closed his eyes. "It just hurt too much. I couldn't handle it. I felt so...ashamed."

"Todd I asked around and heard that Mystique hurt you when you were younger," Althea said softly. "It wasn't your fault."

"I couldn't fight them," Todd replied, tears starting to leak from his eyes, "I…"

"Shhh," Althea took his head and kissed the tears on his face. "It doesn't matter to me. I...I don't care what they did to you! I think you are one of the bravest people I know."

"I don't feel very brave," Todd said.

"Todd I don't know everything they did to you," Althea said. "But I know anyone who survived what you did and still has the strength to keep going has got to have a very strong spirit deep down inside."

"That or very lucky," Todd replied with a sigh.

"Maybe." She stroked his cheek with her hand. "But you've come this far. You can't let them beat you."

"I know," Todd sighed.

They sat together for a few moments, just holding each other in silence. Althea broke that silence, "So what kind of training have they got you doing?"

"A lot of ninja stuff, that's the best way I can describe it," Todd replied. "They also have me doing other weird stuff. Like poking me with these tiny needles."

"Acupuncture," Althea said. "Does it hurt?"

"Well actually it doesn't," Todd scratched his head. "But the first time they did it I thought it was going to. I kinda screamed for a few minutes...heh…"

Althea giggled. "Yeah that sounds like you."

"They also have me take these baths with this water that smells kinda funny, but it's nice."

"Hot spring water, eh?" Althea said. "I've had those. They're nice and they also help you become stronger."

"Yeah," Todd sighed, looking over at Althea, "I missed this. Just talking to you I mean."

"Just talking to me?" Althea asked with a raised eyebrow.

Todd blushed just before Althea leaned in and kissed him. Todd kissed her back. Smiling he replied, "Well I guess there's other stuff I miss too."

Althea pulled him closer, allowing him to rest his head on her shoulder. Todd smiled, enjoying the warmth against the night's slight chill. "I wish we could just stay here all night." Althea sighed.

"I know, but I have to go back soon. Before they miss me."

Althea replied, "Me too."

Todd whispered in Althea's ear, "I just want to stay here, just for a few more minutes. I don't want to think about anything else right now."

"Okay," Althea stroked his hair. "When can you come back?"

"I don't know," Todd sighed, "Roadblock's taking me on some kind of camping trip in a week or so. Maybe after then?"

After a few more minutes, just sitting quietly together Althea said, "Todd?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me that you'll return as soon as you can," she said softly.

"I'll be back soon. I promise," Todd replied, pulling her close, whispering into her ear.

"I'll wait for you," Althea replied, before digging into her jacket. It was a black bandana with something gold on it. "I got this for you."

She put it on his forehead, "Think of me when you wear it."

"This is cool," Todd said, "What's that gold writing yo?"

"It's Kanji," Althea explained, "It says 'warrior'."

"Wow," Todd looked at her, "I never got anything this nice before. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Althea smiled. "You know there is another way of thanking me."

"Huh?" Todd thought for a second before the synapse fired. He blushed before pulling her close and kissing her.

After holding her for a few more minutes he said, sadly, "I have to go."

"Yeah," she kissed him back, "Come back to me soon."

"Promise," Todd nodded. He held her hand for a moment, wanting to preserve the moment a little longer. He impulsively gave her a brief, longing kiss before hopping away into the night.

Althea stared after him sadly, whispering, before sneaking off into the night, "Take care of yourself Todd."

* * *

TBC


	31. A Man Alone

A Man Alone

Disclaimer: Same as before. The translation to the song _Morgen Marschieren Wir_ was done by Bluteisen on DeviantArt.

Author's Note: Thank you to Ckorkows, VStarTraveler, and Igenlode Wordsmith for insights for the first scene.

* * *

**The Pit, Intelligence Center  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****03 March 2002, 0034**

Conrad glanced at his watch, noticing it was a little over a half hour past midnight after they walked out of the Intelligence Center at the Pit. It was a silent walk for a few moments before Kate spoke, "There's definitely hope for Todd."

"I agree, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, with a small smile.

"I do feel kind of bad that we helped hide that camera in the meadow," Kate said as she stifled a yawn.

"To be honest, it's what parents would do, to make sure the kids aren't up to anything untoward," Conrad replied.

"I'm still glad that Roadblock and Shipwreck let the kids have their moment together," Kate replied with a smile as they neared the Officer's Quarters.

"It was indeed beautiful," Conrad replied, "I just hope it is enough to help _Monsieur _Todd along the road of healing."

"I think so, I mean isn't there that Bohemian saying: The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Know Is Just to Love And Be Loved In Return?" Kate asked.

Conrad stopped in his tracks, turning to face her, "This is true, _mademoiselle_. However I also argue that love hurts, like the old song goes."

"It is worth it, though," Kate replied.

"When it works, yes," the former Legionnaire replied coldly.

"Conrad, whatever it was, I'm so sorry," Kate replied.

"You had no part in the events I'm thinking of, _mademoiselle_, there is no need to apologize," Conrad replied, "If anyone needs to apologize it's me for that rather bitter reply."

"Like I said, if you ever need to talk…" Kate began.

"I am thankful for that, _mademoiselle_, and I intend to use that lifeline. Just not tonight," Conrad replied.

"Fair enough," Kate replied as they continued the walk back towards the Officer's Quarters.

As they walked Kate heard the strains of _Morgen Marschieren Wir_ as Conrad began to whistle them softly.

_There he goes with that tune again._ Kate thought as they entered the building and headed for the stairs. They headed for the apartment and Conrad opened the door, with an 'after you' flourish.

"Thank you," Kate said with a tired smile.

"I'd be be best off to bed," Conrad replied, noticing Kate headed over to her laptop at the kitchen table as he headed for his bedroom. _Probably wants to get a head start on her report._

Kate was doing no such thing, having typed the words _Morgen Marschieren Wir_ onto Google. Plugging her earphones into the audio jack of her laptop she clicked on an MP3 file of the song to download it before opening her email.

_Thankfully Marci's boyfriend is German._ Kate thought, recalling that particular fact about her Secret Service colleague. _I definitely should thank Hans for translating the lyrics for me._

Kate clicked on the file once it downloaded and as the song's first verse ran through her earphones she recited the first verse, "Morning we're marching off. To the farm in the night-time loft. A cup of sweetened tea. Sugar and coffee. And a glass of wine!"

_I could go for the glass of wine. But the sweet tea, sugar and coffee would do nicely. Even if the coffee were BA's coffee._ Kate thought to herself with a slight grin.

She quietly read the second verse's translation to herself, "Morning we're marching off. To the farm in the night-time loft. When I go to leave. My sweetheart cries and heaves. And she looks so sad!"

_Those last few lines are pretty sad lyrics for a song with a jaunty tune._ Kate thought, blinking. _I wonder if Conrad left someone behind when he joined the French Foreign Legion?_

"Sweetheart go back to your home! For it's late and the heart is sure to roam. Don't be bound in sorrow. Go and wake tomorrow. And see the dawn!" Kate continued, matching the song's German lyrics with the English translation on her screen.

_I can only imagine how I'd feel if Tim were marching off to war._ Kate thought with a blink.

"Sweetheart I love you true. But be married, I can not do. Wait for me a year. Then when we are near. We'll be quite a pair!" Kate continued to read the translation.

_I can see why Conrad might find the song endearing. Especially with that last verse._ Kate smiled ruefully as she pulled the earbuds out of her ears before locking her computer and walking towards her bedroom.

* * *

"_I know she'll wait.  
__I know that she'll be true.  
__Look down. Look down.  
__They've all forgotten you." _**\- from **_**Les Miserables**_

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Conrad Hart and Kate Todd  
****04 March 2002, 0633**

"_Non, Regrette Rien. Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien…_" Conrad sang softly as he began to brew the pot of coffee.

"Conrad?" Kate said as she walked into the kitchen.

"I thought I'd get breakfast started," Conrad replied as he reached up into the cupboard, pulling two mugs out.

"That was so cute last night," Kate smiled softly, "I just feel kind of bad that we spied on the kids like that."

"As I said last night it was a necessary evil to ensure they didn't get up to anything untoward," Conrad replied, pouring coffee into each mug as he spoke.

Kate sighed, "I suppose so. I mean two teenagers in the throes of hormones."

"Such is love, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, handing Kate one of the cups of coffee, "After all if you were in love, would you not want to express that physically?"

Kate took the cup of coffee from Conrad, "Thank you. And of course I would. But it would have to be the right kind of moment."

"This is grown up Kate talking, right?" Conrad grinned as he brought out some sugar and creamer.

Kate took both and as she mixed them into her coffee she said, "That's a bit of assuming, there Conrad. Do you really think I was that hormone crazed as Todd and Althea's age?"

"I didn't mean to imply that, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied, "I apologize for any offense."

"None taken," Kate replied.

After a brief silence while Conrad went over some of his notes Kate spoke up again, "Do you think we should take the gamble with the Mess Hall again?"

"If it helps the decision I noticed that BA was thumbing through the latest edition of _Vampire Weekly_ after dinner last night. It's focus was on breakfast recipes." Conrad replied.

"Ugh," Kate groaned, putting a hand on her abdomen, "I'm glad we stocked up on supplies, then."

"As am I," Conrad replied as he put a couple bagels into the toaster as Kate laid out cream cheese, smoked salmon and other fillers.

_I wonder what happened with Conrad to make him both hopeful yet guarded when it comes to love?_ Kate thought.

Unable to contain her curiosity Kate asked, "So what happened?"

Conrad fixed her with a look, "You might have to be more specific, _mademoiselle_. Are you referring to last night or some other time?"

"Last night could be a starter, and Mass the other day as well," Kate answered, "Or any other time you've expressed both optimism and pessimism whenever Althea and Todd's little romance comes up in conversation."

"I simply was being pragmatic. As I've said before I've see love do tremendous things in my life: both good and bad." Conrad replied as he walked over to the toaster after he heard the pop of the bagels being cooked.

"Was it something that happened at San Diego State University?" Kate asked.

Conrad stopped in his tracks before turning around to face her, "Yes."

He turned back around to retrieve the two bagels and as he did so Kate thought to herself. _That's probably all I'm going to get out of him._

Conrad retrieved both bagels, and as he handed Kate her food he said, "Her name is Brook. And I think it best we continue this conversation at the table."

Kate nodded as she carried her plate and her mug of coffee towards the table. _Wonder what the story is with Brook? _

Conrad carried his own plate and mug to the table before sitting down in front of Kate. He glanced towards the wall clock in the small dining area before saying, "We don't have anything scheduled for the morning until 0930 so we do have time for this."

"Oh right, that briefing with Roadblock," Kate replied, "So what's the story with Brook?"

"Her family had moved to Daytona Beach after her father had retired from the New York City Fire Department when I was in the sixth grade. I still remember the first time I asked her to dance was in PE class," Conrad replied wistfully.

"Aww," Kate said with a small smile, "That's so sweet."

"We got to be good friends from then on, though I didn't ask her to dance again until our Freshman year of high school, at Homecoming," Conrad replied, blinking his eyes, "And then I remember the summer before our junior year of high school, realizing that I liked her more than as a friend. I asked her out and we dated all through high school."

"Just like Althea and Todd," Kate replied, a small smile on her face, "So what happened?"

"We date through college, we both attended San Diego State University on NROTC scholarships. Brook actually took the Marine Corps option, she was wanting to be a JAG officer and the Marines were recruiting at the time. I was aspiring to join the US Navy SEALs like my Dad did in Vietnam," Conrad replied before pausing to take a drink of his coffee, "At one point we had talked about getting married after we graduated, but it was halfway through our junior year of college that we broke up."

_God, that sounds like it hurt. His tone might be calm, but it really sounds like it hurt._ Kate thought as she took a sip of her own coffee, "Why did you break up?"

With a sigh Conrad replied, "She said that she was too young to get tied down. That maybe we should take a break."

"That's rough," Kate replied, "On Sunday you asked me about loving something to the extent that you'd lay it all on the line for them as well as being betrayed by them. How is Brook connected to that?"

"I was getting there," Conrad replied, "We barely spoke to one another for the rest of our junior year. It took that long before I realized it was stupid, Brook was my friend long before she was my girlfriend and that summer we mended our friendship even if our romantic relationship was _kaput_ as the Germans would say."

"She was seeing someone else, wasn't she?" Kate asked softly.

Conrad nodded, "His name was Trent Bailey, he was a senior and in the NROTC unit when we were freshmen at SDSU. I didn't like him from the start, the way he looked at Brook. Anyway, after he got commissioned in the Marine Corps he was stationed close to us at Camp Pendleton and started hanging out back at SDSU."

"So this fight you got into at SDSU was with him?" Kate asked.

Conrad nodded, "But it wasn't over jealousy, that's what I want to emphasize."

"Okay, if it wasn't over jealousy then what was it about?" Kate asked.

"I had a sneaking suspicion he wasn't treating Brook right. He was always acting all jealous about her. I'd even hear him gaslighting her after fights they'd have. It was one day during our senior year that I learned the depth of abuse Brook was enduring. She told me that he hit her and that it had been going on since a couple months after their first date. When she rolled up her sleeve and showed me the bruises I had enough," Conrad replied coldly.

"What happened?" Kate asked.

"I went to where he and several of his friends were at a bar off campus. I was seeing red that night. I punched him in the mouth after I confronted him about what he'd been doing to Brook. I don't remember much more of that particular evening other than seeing red and hitting him repeatedly…" Conrad replied.

"What happened next?" Kate asked. _With what I know about Conrad and his sense of justice I'm not surprised that's what happened._

"I got taken in for assault, but Trent declined to press charges. I didn't know until later that there was another plan behind it. I faced a disciplinary hearing at my NROTC unit and expulsion from the university," Conrad replied, "Long story short I was expelled from the NROTC program and was barred from graduation. Thanks to some professors' intervention they at least allowed me to finish my degree."

"You said you were betrayed at SDSU, and from what I gather by Brook. What did she do?" Kate asked.

"It was at my disciplinary hearing where I testified under oath that Brook had been abused. But she stayed silent. She didn't admit anything she told me," Conrad replied, "I put everything on the line for her only to be betrayed."

"Conrad," Kate replied gently, "You have to know abuse victims don't always talk about what happened."

"I learned that later, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied evenly.

"Alright," Kate replied, "So why the Legion?"

"I had nowhere left to go, _mademoiselle_." Conrad replied.

"Why did you feel that way?" Kate asked. _Way to ask for the obvious._

Conrad continued, "Because I let so many people down. My family, especially because my father had served for thirty three years in the US Navy, Brook, my friends. I couldn't face them after that. I gathered what money I had for a plane ticket to France where I would ultimately join the Legion."

Kate blinked her eyes as she heard the raw emotion underpinning Conrad's words, "Have you talked to them since?"

"I've talked to my family, yes. About a year after I enlisted and after a bout with _cafard,_" Conrad replied, "But Brook, I've not spoken to for nearly nine years."

"Do you know if she stayed with Trent?" Kate asked.

"She didn't, that much I learned from my parents when I spoke to them a year after enlisting," Conrad replied, "That was the one thing good that came from this entire episode."

"I think so too, hopefully Trent's behavior will catch up with him," Kate replied.

"One can only hope, _mademoiselle," _Conrad replied, "So you see, now, why I have both optimism and pessimism when it comes to our young mutant lovers."

Kate nodded before she replied softly, "You must see what you and Brook had when you see Althea and Todd."

"Very astute, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied as he sipped at his coffee.

"I hate to parrot a cliche, but they say it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all," Kate replied.

"It is one I do agree with," Conrad replied with a sombre expression.

"Do you think you'd ever try and find Brook again?" Kate asked.

"Honestly, _mademoiselle,_ I don't know if I ever could talk to her again," Conrad replied, "I'm not sure how I would react if I saw her again."

_It might be good for him to get some closure._ Kate thought. _But right now isn't the best time to bring that up. _

"When I walked up the gates of Fort de Nogent in Paris I felt I did not have a friend in the world," Conrad replied, "I felt I was a man alone."

Kate gently put her hand on his forearm, "Conrad, you've got me as a friend."

"_Mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, gently and with a small smile, "That is something I am grateful for."

They finished breakfast in a comfortable silence before washing the dishes and putting them into the dish rack to dry. After a few small chores they prepared to head for the briefing. And as they walked outside towards the headquarters building Kate recognized Conrad was whistling a tune.

She mused over the recognition in light of the breakthrough from earlier. _Morgen Marschieren Wir. With what I know about Conrad's past I know why he'd probably find that song so poignant._

* * *

**The Pit, Headquarters Building  
****Roadblock, Conrad, Kate, Sedgwick  
****04 March 2002, 0919**

"Wonder what this is about?" Kate asked as they walked down the hall to the briefing room.

Conrad smirked as they walked into the room and pointed to the wall, showing the projector screen was down but the presentation was yet to be displayed.

"We're about to find out, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied.

"Bloody cable," Sergeant Sedgwick grumbled from the corner of the room as he pulled the offending cable off his laptop. He looked up in time to see Conrad and Kate walking into the room.

"Good morning," Sedgwick said with a smirk, "Sorry the presentation hit a bit of technical difficulty."

"It happens," Kate replied.

"Isn't technology wonderful," Conrad joked.

Sedgwick dug around in his backpack until he retrieved a second cable. Hooking it up to his laptop and the projector the title slide of the presentation then came into focus.

Conrad and Kate looked up to see the title slide had the words Jungle Survival Training in bold font on it. Shortly after that the door opened and Roadblock walked into the room. Kate turned to him, "So we're undergoing jungle survival training?"

"Yes, we are," Roadblock said, "But in two different camps. Todd and I will be camping at one site, you two will be with Sedgwick and Recondo, another team member of ours, at another site."

"Okay," Conrad replied.

"Conrad, doesn't the Legion have a lot of jungle warfare experience?" Kate asked.

"Indeed, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied with a toothy grin, "In Indochina from the 19th and 20th centuries, predominantly. In fact the 1st and 2nd Foreign Parachute Regiments cut their teeth in the jungles of Indochina in the 1940s and 1950s, often parachuting in under fire to rescue beleaguered garrisons under siege by the Viet Minh."

"And recently in Africa," Kate observed.

Conrad nodded, "And we also remain active in South East Asian jungles too. For instance we helped guard elections in Cambodia."

"The UN peacekeeping mission in the early nineties," Kate replied.

"You know of them?" Conrad asked.

"We discussed them in one of my political science classes in college," Kate replied, "I didn't know the Legion was there, though. Were you there?"

"It was my first deployment as a young _Legionnaire_," Conrad replied.

_Note to self, something to ask him about in the future._ Kate thought to herself as the briefing began. She began to take notes on her PDA, Conrad did so on his notebook as Sergeant Sedgwick spoke.

_He's not taking nearly as many notes,_ Kate observed. _But then again he's been through this kind of thing before while serving in the French Foreign Legion._

Sedgwick clicked another slide which showed the different inoculations they were to receive. Kate grumbled, "Shots...ugh."

"I take it you'd prefer them to be the whiskey variety?" Conrad whispered with a smirk.

"I'm actually not a shots kind of girl, period," Kate replied.

"Well, stand by for plenty of shots of the needle variety," Conrad said with a smirk, "We got at least that many before deploying to Africa."

"Ugh," Kate groaned as she rubbed her upper arm.

"I didn't mean to needle you," Conrad grinned.

"Pun intended?" Kate replied with a wry grin of her own.

"Oh most certainly, _mademoiselle_," the ex-Legionnaire replied.

Kate chuckled lightly to herself as the briefing continued.

* * *

TBC


	32. Hypodermics and Hijinks

Hypodermics and Hijinks

**Disclaimer:** Same as before.

* * *

**The Pit, The Infirmary  
****Kate, Conrad, Sedgewick, Roadblock, Lifeline  
****04 March 2002, 1104**

"Not looking forward to this," Kate began as she walked into the room before removing her jacket and rolling up the sleeve of her blouse.

"Well if it helps maybe we could find Shipwreck and get some shots at Margaritaville afterward," Conrad smirked.

"Not funny," Kate said with a mock glare.

"Besides, don't they say that puns are the lowest form of humor," Roadblock chimed in.

"_Au contraire, mes amis_," Conrad replied, "Isn't physical comedy a lower form of humor?"

"That's debatable," Kate replied, "But then again you've been making puns about needles for the last hour or more."

"I submit that it does take a fairly sharp wit to make a good pun," Conrad countered.

"You did it again!" Kate replied.

"Did what again?" Conrad replied as he rolled up his own sleeve.

"You made another pun about needles," Kate replied as she tucked her PDA into her pocket.

"That last one wasn't about needles," Conrad protested as they approached Lifeline who prepared the syringes.

"It could arguably be," Kate countered.

"But you can also argue it can be about any sharp object," Conrad replied.

"Can you not make any more puns about needles or any other sharp objects for the rest of the day," Kate asked.

"Of course, _mademoiselle,"_ Conrad replied, "Sorry for needling you."

"Conrad!" Kate snapped.

"Sorry, reflex action, I swear," Conrad smirked.

Meanwhile Sedgwick whispered to Roadblock, "Are they always like this?"

"You have no idea," Roadblock replied.

"I don't know who has it worse," Sedgwick quipped, "You being stuck with Todd or me being stuck with our two agents."

Presently the foursome got through their regimen of shots, and as Kate rolled down her sleeve she noticed the door to the infirmary opening and Flint walking in.

"What's going on?" Roadblock asked, turning his head.

"There's something I need to talk to you about Roadblock," Flint replied, "Can you meet me at Psyche Out's office? Agent Hart, Agent Todd, if you can join us that would be great."

"Is he in trouble?" Roadblock asked.

"If it's what I think it's about, _Monsieur_ Roadblock, it's nothing of the sort," Conrad replied.

"Wait a minute, how do you two know about whatever it is then?" Roadblock asked.

"We'll explain later," Conrad replied as they filed out of the room.

* * *

**The Pit, Psyche Out's Office  
****Kate, Conrad, Roadblock, Flint, Psyche Out  
****04 March 2002, 1156**

"Well, we're here," Roadblock said as he walked into the room, with Kate and Conrad in tow, "so what's the big secret?"

"Wait a few minutes, we've also go to get Shipwreck too," Psyche Out replied.

"Okay, what do you need Shipwreck for?" Roadblock asked.

"This concerns Althea too," Psyche Out began.

Roadblock quickly put two and two together, and as his eyes narrowed he said, "So you mean they're…"

"No, they aren't, Roadblock," Psyche Out quickly interjected.

"Alright, then what _do_ you want to talk to me about?" Roadblock said.

"Well, you do know the kids have a little romantic relationship going, right?" Flint said, as he walked into the room with Shipwreck in tow.

"Of course," Roadblock said, "Watch the kids interact for more than five minutes and you can tell. So I'm assuming that what you've got me and Shipwreck here for is something to do with that."

Psyche Out nodded, "Yes. It has something to do with the fact that both of them have been doing a lot of sneaking out lately."

"Okay, define 'lately'," Roadblock glowered.

"Within the last week or so," Flint replied.

"And you _all_ knew about this?" Roadblock replied, the scowl deepening.

"I didn't know about it until about twenty minutes ago," Shipwreck replied, "When Flint told me."

"Okay, so my next question is why the secrecy?" Roadblock asked.

"I'm sure you've noticed how things with Todd seem to have improved since he and Althea started dating, right?" Psyche Out replied.

"Certainly," Roadblock replied before his scowl softened, "So you think the sneaking out is good for Todd provided it doesn't get out of hand."

"Exactly," Psyche Out replied, "We wanted to observe first, to see its effects before bringing you and Shipwreck in."

After a long silence Roadblock replied, "I understand where you're coming from, but honestly I'm pretty miffed that you didn't tell me about your plan."

"Roadblock…" Psyche-Out began before Roadblock cut him off.

"If you had explained your intent I wouldn't have interfered," Roadblock replied.

"Neither would I," Shipwreck replied.

"My apologies," Psyche Out replied, "I should've trusted you guys with the information from the start."

"Apology accepted," Roadblock replied. Shipwreck nodded in agreement.

"So do you think something's going to happen tonight?" Shipwreck asked after a brief silence.

"I'll bet a drink on that, _Monsieur _Shipwreck," Conrad said with a smirk only for Kate to elbow him in the side.

"Did you have to make a wager involving alcohol with Shipwreck of all people?" Kate whispered in Conrad's ear.

"You're on!" Shipwreck declared, "Meet me at Margaritaville!"

"I think you created a monster, Hart," Flint interjected as the group filed out of Psyche Out's office.

"_Merde,_" Conrad grumbled.

* * *

**The Pit, Mess Hall  
****Dial Tone, Short Fuze, Quick Kick, Conrad and Kate  
****04 March 2002, 1214**

"Again, why are we taking our chances with BA's food?" Kate asked.

"Sloppy Joes or Bologna Burritos aren't exactly dangerous choices," Conrad countered.

"This is BA we're talking about," Kate replied as they walked to the mess hall's entrance.

"I think if BA serves something that sounds reasonably conventional we're safe," Conrad replied, "Besides, we do want to husband our food supply."

"Oh, yeah," Kate replied, "You did mention he got the latest edition of _Vampire Weekly_."

"Not to mention half a dozen other cooking magazines," Conrad added.

"Ugh…" Kate groaned, "I keep thinking whenever BA serves conventional menu items the other shoe is going to drop."

"Well, like the Joes say, that's when it's safest," Conrad replied, opening the Mess Hall's front door and smirking, "After you, _mademoiselle._"

"Thank you," Kate replied. _I definitely will have to say he's got to be the most contradictory person I know. A gentleman yet he has a brutal sense of justice. _

Conrad and Kate walked into the Mess Hall, picking up their trays and utensils before walking through the serving line, getting their respective meals. As they headed to a nearby table they could hear Short Fuze and Quick Kick in the middle of a spirited debate.

"You're wrong on so many levels," Short Fuze began, holding up a copy of Dr. Grant's book, "A Baryonyx could easily deal with a group of Velociraptors."

"Raptors, as Dr. Grant said, were supremely intelligent, fast and agile. They'd run rings around Baryonyx!" Quick Kick fired back, pointing at the exact passage in the book as he spoke with his index finger.

"Wow," Kate commented to Conrad, "I didn't know that Dr. Grant's book could provoke that much debate."

"Well, _mademoiselle_," Conrad toothily grinned, "We did argue about the entire piece on _Spinosaurus Aegyptiacus _and the ingestion of the satellite phone at one point."

"Not that again," Kate groaned, "_Especially _not before a meal. And let's not forget someone was killed during said 'ingestion of satellite phone' as you put it," Kate countered as she took her seat across from Conrad, as the latter set his own tray on the table before sitting down.

"Let me guess," Quick Kick interjected, "You guys read Dr. Grant's book too?"

"Yes," Conrad replied, "And I'd also watched the movie."

"I've seen the movie," Kate replied, "I only just started the book."

Conrad smirked, "And we had a discussion the supposed morbidity of the scene with the Spinosaurus and the satellite phone."

Short Fuze guffawed loudly, "One of the funnier parts of the book was when they found it."

"Agreed," Conrad replied.

"That is _really_ morbid, you know," Kate interjected.

"So what was the outcome of that debate?" Quick Kick asked.

"We wound up just agreeing to disagree," Kate replied, and switching subjects she added, "I noticed you two were debating something too."

"Yeah Baryonyx vs. Velociraptor," Quick Kick replied.

"Oh I think that could easily get resolved," Dial Tone said, as he approached the table, with a smile on his face.

"How so?" Kate asked.

"Thanks to the miracle of modern computing I can easily design a program to pit these two dinosaurian combatants against each other," Dial Tone said, "If you're that curious, meet me at the computer lab tomorrow after lunch"

"I think I'll pass on that," Kate replied.

"I'll take you up on that," Conrad replied, before turning to Quick Kick and Short Fuze, "Well _mes amis_ shall we have a little wager on the winner?"

"Wagering what?" Quick Kick said.

"Lunch at Coconut Pete's," Conrad replied.

"Alright!" Quick Kick said.

"Interested, Kate?" Conrad offered.

"I tend to lose if I bet," Kate replied before going to enter a couple notes on her PDA, "And don't you have another wager going with Shipwreck for a drink at Margaritaville too."

"Well, _mon amie_," Conrad smirked, "I tend to have rather decent luck when it comes to bets."

Kate couldn't help but smile at the ex-Legionnaire's smirk, "I think that you're going to be owing Shipwreck a cold drink at Margaritaville."

* * *

**The Pit, Communication Center  
****Kate, Conrad, Roadblock, and Shipwreck  
****04 March 2002, 2236**

"Looks like you owe me a cold one, Hart," Shipwreck smirked as Conrad and Kate walked into the room.

"_Merde,_" Conrad groaned, seeing Kate smirk in his peripheral vision.

"Told you wagering with Shipwreck was a bad idea," Kate whispered as they headed for the bank of monitors in the room.

"You are right, _mademoiselle_, especially given it involved alcohol," Conrad replied.

"Can you say bad idea," Roadblock interjected, "What were you thinking?"

"Perhaps my luck ran out," Conrad replied.

"Why do I get the feeling you're going to buying dinner at Coconut Pete's too?" Kate smirked.

"I thought you didn't gamble, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't," Kate replied, "That was a feeling, not a wager, Hart."

"That's debatable," Conrad countered.

"Shh…." Roadblock said as he gestured towards a wall with several plasma screen televisions, all of them showing either green hued night vision imagery or blue, red, yellow and green hued thermal imagery.

The door opened as Psyche Out walked into the room, "So what's going on here?"

"Looks like Todd decided to sneak out again," Kate replied, indicating the feed for one camera monitoring the ninja dojo.

"So has Althea," Shipwreck commented as he pointed to the monitor watching the area near his house.

"And they're meeting up," Psyche Out said, as he indicated the monitor connected to the hidden camera monitoring the secluded glade near the small pond, "I think I was right. This sneaking out and meeting up is good for Todd's recovery."

"I agree," Roadblock said, "But we'll definitely keep an eye on things."

"Sure," Shipwreck nodded.

* * *

_Kate,_

_Jungle survival training, huh? Pack plenty of mosquito repellent and stand by for a lot of shots. Be safe out there._

_I love you,_

_Tim_

* * *

_Tim,_

_You could have warned me earlier about the shots. Not fun. But thanks for the tip on mosquito repellent. I miss you._

_And I love you too,_

_Kate_

* * *

TBC


	33. Preparing for the Jungle

Preparing for the Jungle

**Disclaimer: **Same as before…

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****05 March 2002, 1015**

Kate glanced over as Conrad carried a parcel wrapped in brown paper and tied with packing twine. She noticed that it was a camouflage uniform, one shoulder bearing the same circular patch with the grinning skeleton she had seen on Conrad's backpack some days earlier.

Conrad gently laid out the pants and camouflage jacket onto the couch, looking over it before briefly closing his eyes.

_What's he thinking? Is he thinking of battles forgotten or unknown by the rest of the world? That's gotta be it. _Kate thought to herself.

Conrad's eyes opened and he turned his head to face her, "It's my old camouflage uniform from my days in the Legion, _mademoiselle_."

"You packed your old camouflage uniform in your luggage." Kate asked, "Why?"

"Being on a case where we were dealing with a military unit I figured it might be needed," Conrad replied.

"How did you know we would wind up on a jungle survival training exercise?" Kate asked.

"I didn't," Conrad replied.

"So how would you have used it around here if we weren't going on an exercise?" Kate asked.

"Well, if we did any sort of other training on this base it would be useful," Conrad replied, "Like some of the firing ranges and the obstacle courses."

"I see your point," Kate replied as pulled an unmarked set of camouflage clothing and black boots out of a bag she had set down beside the coffee table, "Though the Joes were kind enough to issue me what I needed."

"This is true, however I would recommend breaking in your boots," Conrad replied.

Kate raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean break in my boots?"

"That means get your feet used to wearing them," Conrad replied, "The last thing you want when you're on your feet all the time are blisters."

"Good point," Kate replied, "So how do I do that?"

"Two ways that I've always used. Wear them all the time and soak them in water to soften the leather," Conrad replied.

"I didn't know soldiers put so much care into their footwear," Kate quipped as she sat down on the easy chair, pulling off her pumps before sliding a pair of olive green Army issue socks before putting her new boots on her feet.

"The Legion does have a say, 'March or die'," Conrad smirked, "And in the old days that meant falling behind was a death sentence as the Tuaregs would cut laggards to ribbons."

"This was in North Africa, right?" Kate asked.

"_Tres bien,_ Kate," Conrad replied with a faint smile.

"Hanging around you is an immersion experience in the history of the French Foreign Legion," Kate smiled faintly.

"I'm glad I don't bore you, _mademoiselle_," Conrad smirked as he slid his light jacket and put it on the sofa. As he did so Kate noticed what looked like a knuckle duster on his belt at the small of his back.

"Are those brass knuckles?" Kate asked.

"Sort of," Conrad replied.

"What do you mean by sort of?" Kate asked, with a quirk of one eyebrow.

Conrad wordlessly reached for the item in question before drawing the blade. Kate's eyes fell on what looked like a knuckle duster with a knife blade attached.

"It's a working replica of a US Mark I Trench Knife, designed for fighting in the trenches of the Western Front," Conrad replied as he drew the weapon.

"Think it will come in handy in the jungle?" Kate asked.

"Certainly," Conrad replied, "You know how close quarters jungle fighting can be, remember? Close, like so…"

Conrad stepped closer to Kate till he was almost nose to nose with her. The former legionnaire smirked before stepping back before turning so his right side faced Kate. He took the knife in his right hand, fingers in the knuckle duster handle before throwing a right cross before stabbing downward with the blade.

After he demonstrated the punch and stab combo he slipped his hand out of the knuckle duster before handing Kate the knife for her to examine.

_I'd hate to be any Cobra that encounters Conrad with that thing up close. It's either a faceful of metal knuckles or a hard stab. _Kate thought to herself.

"_On ne passe pas?_" Kate asked as she examined the blade, noticing those words were engraved onto the handle.

"It translates into this: They shall not pass," Conrad replied, "It was a slogan of the French Army at the Battle of Verdun in 1915, preventing a German rush onto Paris."

Conrad toothily grinned as he continued, "This type of knife was designed from French army experiences in the early years of the war, where soldiers killed one another in trenches no more than a few feet wide."

"They didn't have special equipment for that kind of fighting?" Kate asked.

"Not early on," Conrad replied, "A lot of close in weapons before grenades came into the forte were revolvers, knuckledusters, staves, and knives of different kinds."

"Speaking of weapons we are heading to the armory in an hour," Kate replied, "And from there we can either eat lunch here or take our chances on the mess hall and BA's cooking again."

"AGGGGHHHH!"

At the sound of a scream Kate and Conrad rushed to the window in time to see BA running out of the back door of the mess hall. Chasing him was a man sized gingerbread man wielding a meat cleaver in each hand.

"I think _that _dilemma swiftly resolved itself," Conrad smirked.

"And that item is definitely not going in my report," Kate replied, "And I suppose not in yours either?"

"I think it would be safest, just in case Rachel and Baer talk again," Conrad replied.

"Do you think those two compare notes now?" Kate asked.

With a smile Conrad said, "I'm sure they do. In fact I can picture them having lunch somewhere in D.C. talking about the things we report about."

"Hopefully they give us adjoining rooms at the mental institution," Kate joked.

"I don't intend to put this in my report at all," Conrad replied.

"Neither am I," Kate replied.

"HELLLLPPPP!" BA shouted as he ran past their field of vision a second time with the gingerbread man in hot pursuit.

With a sigh Kate replied, "Should we head downstairs and help him?"

"I suppose we do, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied as he headed for the apartment's front door with Kate at his heels.

The two agents ran downstairs just in time to see Daria, Quinn and Brittany, Shipwreck's Triplets, come running out of the kitchen with flamethrowers.

Kate's eyes went wide, "Please tell me I'm seeing things!"

"Not going to lie, _mademoiselle_, but unless I'm seeing things too it looks like Shipwreck's _petite filles_ are running after the gingerbread man with flamethrowers," Conrad deadpanned.

"Come back here Gingerbread man!" they shouted and ran, shooting jets of flame at it.

The Gingerbread Man veered off, with the Triplets in hot pursuit. BA, meanwhile, doubled over, hands on his knees sucking down air. He was still perspiring and gasping when Kate and Conrad came down the stairs and out of their building.

"Are you alright?" Kate asked as she and Conrad headed over to him.

With a gasp BA said, "I'm fine. I never thought I'd say this, but thank God for Shipwreck's insane brood."

"Die Gingerbread Man! Die!" the shout echoed from around the other side of the mess hall.

BOOM!

Conrad and Kate immediately took off running for the other side of the mess hall in time to see that the now flame covered Gingerbread Man had exploded. The Triplets were currently congratulating each other on their success as Conrad sniffed the air.

"Gingerbread. At least the front of the mess hall smells good," Conrad quipped.

Kate glared at him before the ex-legionnaire turned and raised an eyebrow, "What?"

With a sigh Kate turned to the Triplets, "Alright you three, put the flamethrowers down. You're going to have some explaining to do."

"Yes ma'am," the three girls said.

"Wow," Conrad commented, "You've got the 'mom' glare down perfectly."

Kate glared silently at Conrad as the ex-Legionnaire raised his hands with another 'what?' look on his face.

The Triplets unclasped the straps holding the tanks of their improvised flamethrowers before setting them onto the ground. Conrad headed over to pick up the weapons and after he did so he set them down on the walkway.

"I have to admit these are good working replicas of the _Flammenwerfer,_" Conrad replied.

"_Flammenwerfer_?" Kate asked, with a puzzled look.

"World War II era German flamethrower. From the look of these, it appears to be the 1941 model, or _Flamenwerfer 41_," Conrad replied as he examined the three weapons.

BA ran over to them, puffing and gasping, "Ah, I see you three have found my kitchen assistants' latest inventions."

"Wait, BA, you _let_ the Triplets construct replicas of a German World War II flamethrower?" Kate asked, eyes going wide.

"Why yes?" BA replied, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Kate looked at him as though he'd gone totally screwy, "Okay, why would you do such an insane thing?"

"To help with the cooking," BA replied.

"I suppose you would need flamethrowers to bake a walking, knife wielding gingerbreadman," Kate replied with a quirked eyebrow. _And that's a sentence I never thought I'd ever say._

"Actually," BA said, "It was to work with my masterpiece. BA's Souffle A La Flambe!"

"Why does that not surprise me that you'd make a dish that features fire?" Kate asked.

"Well, Wampire Veekly has said that incendiary displays are the hottest trend of the year," BA protested.

"I gather that there's a spoonful of gunpowder in said souffle?" Kate asked.

"No," BA replied, and Kate sighed with relief, "There are actually five spoonfuls of gunpowder…"

"You're insane!" Kate exclaimed. _I'm definitely going to avoid the Mess Hall tonight._

"And it took you this long to figure that out?" Shipwreck interjected as he casually sauntered over and surveyed the destruction.

"So _les_ _petite filles_ created three rather impressive working models of the German _Flamenwerfer_," Conrad remarked, as he walked over, "Evidently under BA's direction too."

"To be fair they probably would have made them without BA's direction too," Shipwreck shrugged.

Kate, wisely, said nothing as she and Conrad walked back towards their shared apartment in the Officer's Quarters.

When they were out of earshot she said, "I definitely plan to avoid the Mess Hall for the next couple of meals."

Conrad smirked, "I agree, _mademoiselle._"

* * *

**The Pit, The Armory  
****Kate, Conrad, and Sedgwick  
****05 March 2002, 1303**

Conrad hefted the AMD-65 as they walked through the Pit's main armory. He racked the bolt to the rear, glancing into the chamber to ensure there wasn't a round inside it.

"No surprises there," Kate smirked.

"You'll need something a bit more substantial than your Sig," Sedgwick began as he hefted an American M4 Carbine.

Kate nodded before walking down another row and taking a Remington 870 pump action shotgun from a rack in the wall.

"Good choice, _mademoiselle_," Conrad quipped.

"Somebody told me that combat in the jungle is up close and personal," Kate replied before she racked the pump and glanced down the chamber to ensure there wasn't a round in the shotgun.

"_Tres bien,_" Conrad replied, with a toothy grin.

Conrad, Kate and Sedgwick also went to sign for their ammunition from the armorer before they got in the blue government SUV for the drive to the range complex. As the engine hummed Conrad began to lightly sing, "_Puisqu'il nous faut vivre et lutter dans la souffrance. Le jour est venu où nous imposerons au front. La force de nos âmes. La force de nos cœurs et de nos bras. Foulant la boue sombre, vont les Képis blancs._"

"What's with the song?" Sedgwick asked Kate.

"That's an old French Foreign Legion song, _Kepis Blanc,_" Kate replied, "Very similar to the _Wehrmacht _song _Panzerlied._"

"Bit of a history buff, Agent Todd?" Sedgwick asked.

Kate shook her head, "Spend any length of time around Conrad and you'll pick up a thing or two on Legion trivia."

"Right," Sedgwick said, "That's good to know."

Conrad parked the car in the range complex's parking lot before the three of them took their weapons out of the vehicle and approached an awning with several tables. There were several soldiers loading ammunition into magazines and Sedgwick led them to one of the tables.

Conrad immediately began loading 7.62x39mm rounds into the AMD-65 magazines before stuffing them into pouches on his loadbearing vest. Kate noticed the ex-Legionnaire was all business as he loaded the last magazine into his AMD-65.

"Ready?" Sedgwick asked, after pulling the bolt for his M4 to the rear and releasing it, chambering a 5.56mm round.

Kate loaded one more shell into the shotgun before she racked the pump, chambering a round. She saw Conrad chamber a round into his AMD-65 before nodding in affirmation.

"Ready," Kate replied.

The three of them walked towards a fenced in area a few hundred meters down the road from the awning. As they walked through the gate Sedgwick began, "Right, we'll practice individual movements and firing on the move before moving on to team movements. I'll walk each of you through the basics first. I'll demonstrate some basic reactions to contact and then you two will run through. Conrad, you're up first, Kate you linger behind me and then we'll switch."

Sedgwick spoke into a radio on his webbing, "Right, ready to go hot."

"Acknowledged," the voice of the unseen controller said from the control center for the range complex.

Sedgwick placed the stock of his M4 against his shoulder, muzzle aimed slightly to the ground and he began to walk forward slowly.

As he walked forward a plastic human silhouette target popped up. Sedgwick fired several shots in rapid succession before turning around and running.

Once he reached the firing line he removed the magazine from his weapon and pulled the bolt to the rear, ejecting the chambered round. He picked the bullet up and stuffed it into a cargo pocket.

"Right, that's an example of a movement drill called shoot and scoot. In the jungle when one patrol bumps across an enemy patrol you want to get accurate fire downrange and get the hell out," Sedgwick began, and with a grin added, "Right, Conrad, show us how the Legion does it."

Conrad nodded as the pop up target went down. He too, adopted a slightly crouched stance, his AMD-65 aimed slightly towards the ground as he moved forward, eyes scanning the brush in front of him.

Three pop up targets appeared in front of him. Conrad snapped his AMD-65 upward, firing a quick burst at the closest target before charging forward, firing as he went at the second target. He quickly released the magazine from the AMD-65 before reaching into his webbing for a spare continuing forward as he did so and riddling the third target full of holes. Then he jogged back to the firing line.

"Not bad shooting, Hart, but I think that the drill is shoot and scoot," Sedgwick said.

"You want to gain fire superiority when you run into into an enemy force. You also want to move forward and take the fight to them," Conrad smirked.

"Good points, but the drill is shoot and scoot," Sedgwick said.

"You did ask me to show how the Legion does react to contact. And it involves rapid volume fire and taking the fight to the enemy," Conrad replied, "It's worked for the Legion for centuries."

"I do see your point, Hart, but if you're in a small patrol you want to disengage sharpish," Sedgwick replied.

Conrad nodded, "However a good bit of accurate fire does make the enemy think twice about pursuit."

"That's the point of the shoot in shoot and scoot," Sedgwick countered before he said, "Right, Kate, let's see how you do."

Kate nodded as she walked down the training lane, shotgun at the ready. Suddenly two targets popped up in front of her. Kate fired the shotgun at the first target, before pumping out the empty casing and firing on the second target before she chambered a third round, firing at the closer target before she ran back towards the firing line.

"Not bad, Kate," Sedgwick said, "Though I did notice you gave that first target another shot. Why?"

"I saw I only clipped him with that first shot," Kate replied as she caught her breath.

"Good point, but I'd have sorted out the bloke you clipped first before going after his mate," Sedgwick began.

Kate nodded, "Thanks."

The rest of the afternoon consisted of them practicing team and individual movements, reacting to sudden contacts in the brush. Once they were done training Kate wiped some sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Good training, both of you," Sedgwick said, "We'll drill this some more tomorrow afternoon and get some night firing in as well."

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Todd Tolansky and Althea Delgado  
****05 March 2002, 2224**

"It was great to see you again," Todd began as he walked with Althea, holding hands, as they headed towards the officer's quarters, sneaking towards it from a wooded area near the back of it.

Althea smiled as she let go of Todd's hand and put her arm around him, pulling Todd close. Todd put his arm around her waist pulling her close to him.

Before they reached the edge of the woods Todd turned her around, holding both her hands before leaning forward to kiss Althea with a long, tender kiss. He felt Althea's arms slide up around the back of his neck as she pulled him closer.

He wrapped his own arms around her waist as the kiss deepened. After they parted they held each other for a few moments before reluctantly letting go. Taking Todd's hand Althea said, "I'll walk you back to the apartment building before we sneak back…"

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****05 March 2002, 2234**

"Well that was an interesting day," Kate began as they stood in the small garden behind the Pit's Officer's Quarters.

"With yet another of BA's recipes coming to life, Shipwreck's demented offspring making yet another weapon, and our own weapons training, I'd say yes," Conrad replied with a grin.

"Glad we made another store run," Kate commented.

"And that the base commissary is a 24 hour one," Conard replied.

Kate touched her hand to her stomach, "I'm not sure I want to deal with anything else BA cooks up for the rest of this week."

"Pun intended, _mademoiselle_?" Conrad replied with a smirk.

"You have an a borderline unhealthy fascination with puns," Kate observed.

"Well, _mademoiselle_, humor kept me sane through eight years of service in the Legion," Conrad countered.

"And I'm sure plenty of strong drink, too," Kate replied, noting the half dozen brown glass bottles of Augustinerbrau in Conrad's left hand.

"That too," Conrad smirked, "But you must be a lightweight if a beer is something you consider 'strong drink'."

"Very funny," Kate replied.

"Want one?" Conrad offered, pulling one bottle from the cardboard carton and then another.

"Sure," Kate smiled. Conard popped the cap off of one bottle with a small bottle opener on his keyring, handing it over to Kate before popping one off of a second.

Kate eyed the label before saying, "German beer?"

"Yes," Conard said with a toothy grin, "As far as Europe is concerned I'll argue all day that the Germans have a commanding lead when it comes to brewing beer."

"I'm sure the Irish, British, and Dutch _might_ beg to differ," Kate smirked.

"I'll also add that this beer has its origins in an Augustinian monastery in Munich, Germany," Conrad replied.

"You had to play the Catholic card," Kate said with a light chuckle.

"_Touche,_" Conrad replied with a grin.`

Kate took a pull of her beer, "Those were some interesting tactics you showed earlier."

"It's what I learned in the Legion," Conrad replied.

"Aggressive attacks and overkill?" Kate mused.

"Hardly so, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, "It is simply how the Legion conducts a running gun battle, fast, hard hitting, and with the unit commander leading from the front."

"Sounded like a bit of overkill to me," Kate said with a slight chuckle only for curiosity to crease her features when she saw Conrad place his index finger against his lips, the universal gesture for quiet.

Kate strained her ears and the small smile returned to her features as she heard two teenage voices from the nearby copse of trees.

"I'll walk you back to the apartment building before we sneak back…"

Conrad motioned for Kate to follow him past the edge of the garden, towards the copse of trees in time to see two teenage mutants walking hand in hand towards the garden and the back entrance to the Officer's Quarters.

"Busted, oh man…" Todd groaned, face reddening.

"We are both so grounded," Althea muttered.

"Not necessarily, _mes amis_," Conrad interjected, a small smile on his face.

"As long as you two weren't…" Kate began.

"We didn't have sex, if that's what you're worried about," Althea said.

"Certainly direct, aren't we?" Conrad mused. _Well, she is Shipwreck's daughter after all._

Althea blushed as she realized what she'd just said and Kate smiled, "I believe you."

"Besides we basically want to wait a bit before we do something like that," Althea admitted, out of the corner of her eyes she could see Todd blushing redder.

"Al…" Todd groaned, "Did you have to tell them that?"

"Okay, you two, again, we believe you," Kate replied, "But it is getting late and you'd better be off to home."

"So...you're not telling Roadblock and Shipwreck?" Todd asked, shyly.

"Not at all, _mes amis_," Conrad replied.

"But you'd better get home," Kate added, "Separately."

The two teens nodded and Althea gave Todd a small, chaste kiss before she headed away from the Officer's Quarters, back towards Shipwreck's house.

* * *

TBC…


	34. Songs and Skeleton Men

Songs and Skeleton Men

Disclaimer: Same as before.

Author's Note: The references to the Princess Diaries are properties of Disney and Meg Cabot.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Caitlin Todd and Conrad Hart  
****06 March 2002, 0622**

Conrad Hart smiled slightly as the opening notes to the song _Fields of Gold _by Sting echoed from the small radio on the kitchen counter. He sipped his coffee as Kate glanced at him.

"Such a perfect love song," Conrad said, wistfully.

"I don't know, Conrad, it sounds pretty depressing," Kate replied before sipping her own coffee.

"How so?" Conrad replied, with a raised eyebrow.

"It's so sad," Kate replied, "I mean the guy's singing about being remembered whenever the breeze blows over a barley field. I mean it sounds like the speaker is dead and wants her to remember him forever."

Conrad's slight smile widened as he spoke, "_Au contraire, mon amie,_ to me the song speaks of a lasting and timeless love."

"I'll give you that, to a point," Kate replied, "But I can't help but feel it's depressing."

"_Mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, "you are of course, entitled to your opinion. And I can see the basis of it. But I can submit there's a far happier interpretation to the song."

"Okay, Conrad, I'll bite."

"Just don't leave marks, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad said with a thin, yet toothy grin.

"Very funny," Kate replied as she leaned against the kitchen counter, facing Conrad.

"Well, the first verse I see an older couple reflecting on their lives together at different stages of their lives," Conrad replied, "The barley field is something significant, where many of their happiest memories take place."

"I see your older couple interpretation, but the husband is dying and pleading for his wife to remember him," Kate replied.

"Not necessarily, I see them sitting in a swinging chair on their front porch, reminiscing their lives together," Conrad replied, sipping his coffee, "They start at the beginning, talking of walking among the fields of gold."

"I can see that," Kate replied, "It is actually kind of sweet, but still kind of depressing. I mean he's asking her to stay with him, which tells me they had a fight."

"Maybe, but to me they clearly made up, when he speaks of the kiss in the barley field," Conrad countered, "And there's also that line that the man never makes promises lightly, but he's broken some, swearing nonetheless he wants to spend the rest of his days with her. And that he loves her with all his heart. That's romantic to me."

"Its instrumental portions are so melancholy though," Kate replied.

"The vocals describing a lasting love do outweigh that," Conrad replied as he set his now empty coffee mug onto the counter, "I always smile when I hear that line where he speaks of years passing since summer days while they're watching the children playing. _Their _children."

"It's poignant, but it's vaguely depressing," Kate replied, "I mean the passage of time…"

"But it's growing together," Conrad replied, "Is that not romantic in its own way?"

"I see your point, there, Conrad," Kate replied, with a wan look, "But that song still depressing in its own way."

"I believe that agreeing to disagree is best in this case," Conrad replied.

Kate nodded and then a thought occurred to her, "Are there any romantic traditions in the French Foreign Legion? I mean other than men running off to join it after romantic failings…"

Remembering Conrad's past Kate winced slightly, "No offense."

"None taken," Conrad replied, "After all such a failing is part of my past, _mademoiselle_, and it did provide the impetus for me joining _La Legion."_

"Still..." Kate began. _He did say he was a man alone when he flew to Paris._

Conrad raised a hand to cut her off, "No offense was taken, _mademoiselle_, therefore there is nothing for you to apologize for."

"Okay," Kate replied, softly, before turning away towards the sink, turning it on so she could wash her now empty mug.

"If you must know, _mademoiselle_, there are romantic traditions in _La Legion,_" Conrad replied, "One is the tradition that a _legionnaire_ carries his sweetheart's photo in the lining of his _kepis blanc_."

"That's so sweet," Kate said with a slight smile.

"In a way it is a bit depressing too," Conrad replied, "Particularly when one considers how many times a _legionnaire_ perished with that last photo of said sweetheart in his _kepis blanc _on many a battlefield."

Kate blinked as in her mind's eye she could see a _legionnaire_ lying mortally wounded on the desert floor, bleeding from several fatal wounds, laboriously turning over to look inside his upturned _kepis_ to get one last glimpse of someone he would never see again…

"Kate?" Conrad asked, softly. He recalled lying bleeding, wounded, rolling to take one last look at Brook's photo on a night he thought would be his last on Earth...

"Sorry, I just had a chill go up my spine when you brought up that idea about the sweetheart's photo," Kate replied. _And clearly yours too. I could see that pause._

"I apologize, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied.

Kate looked Conard in the eye as she spoke, softly, "You kept Brook's photo in your _kepis_?"

Conrad nodded, "For all eight years I served in _La Legion_."

Their gazes remained fixed on each other for what felt like an hour before Kate broke the silence, a lump in her throat, "I've got a message to send to Baer."

"I'll meet you downstairs, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied before he left the room.

* * *

_Agent Todd,_

_So you're going on a jungle survival training mission soon? Keep us informed of Tolansky's progress any time you can. _

_Agent Baer_

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate, Conrad, Roadblock  
****06 March 2002, 0717**

"So where's the other half of Team Hart and Todd? Seeing you by yourself can be a bit odd," Roadblock said as he walked down the stairs.

"She's taking care of an e-mail for work upstairs. She'll be down shortly," Conrad replied.

Almost as if on cue Kate came down the stairs and out of the building. She gave a semi sarcastic princess wave causing Conrad to chuckle slightly.

"Not exactly Princess Mia Thermopolis of Genovia, but still serviceable," Conrad quipped.

"Very funny," Kate replied with a slight smirk.

"Evidently, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, "Roadblock bestowed us a new nickname."

"Don't keep me in suspense," Kate replied, "What is it?"

"Team Hart and Todd," Conrad added with a toothy grin of his own.

"Couldn't that lead to some confusion, though?" Kate replied, "After all don't you sometimes call Toad by his birth name, Todd, sometimes?"

"Could happen, but I usually only call the kid Todd when we're not training. During training he gets called by his codename," Roadblock explained.

"How's he doing?" Kate asked, "I mean considering…"

"He's making progress," Roadblock said, "He's got a therapy session with Psyche Out this morning, so I'm letting him sleep in a little."

"We could take you to the infirmary and back," Kate offered, "We've got the whole morning free, because we're training all afternoon and evening."

"I'll take you up on that," Roadblock said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Kate replied.

"So how's the training going?" Roadblock asked.

"It's going well. I'm learning a lot about small team tactics and jungle fighting," Kate replied, "As well as the Legion way of reacting to enemy contact."

"Let me guess, charging forward, firing bursts at full automatic and throwing grenades," Roadblock quipped.

"There is something to be said for aggression," Conrad replied, "_A moi Legion!_"

"What does that mean?" Roadblock replied.

"It translates as 'To me, Legion!'. It's a rallying cry, uttered in many a bar brawl or a battle," Conrad said, "I recall once in Avignon, one of my fellow Legionnaires, a Moroccan fellow, was being beaten up by some North African toughs. I saw it and shouted '_A moi Legion!_' and we laid into the bastards, dragging them out of the bar and giving them twice the beating they gave our mate."

Kate's eyes went wide, "That's pretty…"

"What? Horrible? Hardly. We let those five fellows off with a savage beating, but we didn't kill them. It is the Legion way to protect our own. After all one of our mottos is _Legio Patria Nostra, _The Legion is our Homeland," Conrad replied evenly.

"That's still pretty brutal," Kate replied.

"Kate, it is the ethos of men cast adrift from society. Our main loyalty is to the Legion and one another," Conrad countered, "Men who will defend their buddies from cowardly attacks in bars will do so on the battlefield as well."

The hard edge from Conrad's tone faded as he gently added, "It is a different world, _mademoiselle._"

_How did a guy with a sensitive soul survive? He had to build that hard man facade to keep from going insane in a place like that. _Kate thought to herself, profiler instincts going at a thousand miles an hour.

Kate noticed Todd hopping towards them, saving her from asking Conrad any more questions. The kid looked slightly sheepish as he said, "Sorry I'm late."

Roadblock glanced at his watched, "Actually, kid, you're right on time."

"Really?" Todd asked.

"Really," Roadblock replied, "Want to get some breakfast before your appointment?"

"Sure," Todd replied and smiled.

"Agent Hart? Agent Todd?" Roadblock offered.

"We already had breakfast," Conrad replied.

"Well, we can always get a cup of coffee," Kate interjected.

"I'll have some coffee too," Todd cheerfully said.

"No you won't!" All three adults said.

"Aww…" Todd pouted slightly as they walked across the parking lot to Conrad and Kate's rental car.

Conrad took the driver's seat, after opening the passenger side door for Kate to climb in. Roadblock took the back seat with Todd and Conrad asked, "Where too?"

"There's the Denny's in town, about five minutes from the main gate," Roadblock said.

"You're the best, Dad!" Todd said and hugged Roadblock.

Kate smiled as Conrad started the car and they drove to the aforementioned diner. He put the car into park and they walked in for breakfast. As they walked towards the diner Kate saw Conrad's line of sight snap off to his right. She followed it to find Conrad looking at a man with black hair and a beard wearing a black sleeveless shirt with a red Cobra emblem covered by a slash and circle, blue jeans and hiking boots in company with Sergeant Slaughter.

"You know each other?" Kate asked.

Conrad nodded. Kate noticed the crossed out Cobra logo on the man's shirt and quickly putting two and two together said, "You fought each other, didn't you?"

Roadblock interjected, "Mercer is one of a handful of Cobra defectors we have in G.I. Joe."

"Something I'm rather dubious about," Conrad replied coldly.

"Why?" Kate asked.

"Commando Laroche," Conrad replied, "Let by _Adjutant-Chef _Reynard Laroche. They had a few former Cobras among the tribal militiamen they trained. Then two of them betrayed him, emptying their weapons on their French comrades. Laroche and three of his Legionnaires paid the price. I was at their funeral."

Conrad was silent for a moment, remembering the sight of four caskets draped in French flags, each borne by six Legionnaires as pallbearers, marching in that slow, solemn way of _La Legion_. Remembering the resonance of the song. _J'avais un camarade…_

"There's always risk when you have defectors alongside you," Roadblock said.

"That risk was ours to take, yes," Conrad replied, "But there was Beni Gabor, the ex-Cobra that betrayed Dr. Keller's mission."

"What happened?" Kate asked, recognizing the name of that mission. _That mission where the doctor, her staff and patients were all killed. _

"There was a Cobra prisoner, wounded in one of our first actions with a bullet to the right ankle. He'd managed to escape to Dr. Keller's mission and we showed up intending to interrogate him once he was treated," Conrad replied, with a wry smirk he added, "Dr. Keller wasn't about to let us do that."

"I can see why," Kate replied. _Especially if those interrogation methods were anything like those used during the Algerian War._

"Well, he helped out at the mission on various small tasks Dr. Keller needed. Dr. Keller and her staff treated his wounds, gave him food, and shelter. And what did that scumbag do but betray them," Conrad spat out. _Dr. Keller and her people tried to reach out to Beni, but the little bastard betrayed him. I'm glad we sent him to Hell!_

"What happened to him?" Kate asked, noticing the rage burning in Conrad.

"We hanged him for his crimes," Conrad replied coldly. _The traitorous bastard deserved it!_

Kate blanched at the cold menace in Conrad's tone, "What?"

"He deserved it. He bit the hand that fed him. Thus he deserved to swing by his neck until dead," Conrad replied before angrily intoning, "_Vae Victis_."

Kate noticed the hard expression on Conrad's face, and noticed that the ex-Cobra that Conrad had stared down climbed into the cab of a large black Dodge Ram pickup truck.

"_Sans Pitie, mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied,"That was the doctrine we operated under."

"Wh-what does that mean?" Todd asked. All the while the boy had been listening to the two adults talking.

"Without mercy," Conrad replied, cold fury on his voice.

* * *

**Enroute to the Pit  
****Mercer and Sergeant Slaughter  
****06 March 2002, 0744**

"You knew Agent Hart, Mercer?" Sergeant Slaughter asked from the passenger seat of the Dodge Ram.

Mercer nodded, "Back in my days with Cobra."

Sergeant Slaughter nodded with recognition, knowing that Mercer's last assignment with Cobra in the Central African Republic caused him to defect to G.I. Joe. He also knew Mercer almost didn't survive said assignment.

"I was lucky that there were G.I. Joe types with the Legion," Mercer replied, "Otherwise the Skeleton Men might've shot me out of hand."

"Skeleton Men?" Sergeant Slaughter asked the ex-Cobra.

"Oh, that's what we used to call Agent Hart's old French Foreign Legion advisor team and the militia they trained in the Central African Republic," Mercer replied as he took a cigarette from a pack on his vest and lit it.

"You seemed pretty rattled to see the man. What was up with that?" Sergeant Slaughter asked.

"They had a reputation for ruthlessness," Mercer replied, "It was said the Skeleton Men never took prisoners and your last round should be for you."

"I know the French were hacked off at Cobra after the 1994 Pyrenees Incident," Sergeant Slaughter replied, "And that they had the _Sans Pitié_ doctrine."

"The Without Mercy Doctrine, I know," Mercer said, "The one their Minister of Defence went on record with. I was on the receiving end of it."

Mercer blinked, remembering seeing a friend, Beni Gabor, twisting in the breeze. Hanging by the rope around his neck connected to the sturdy tree limb. Tongue lolling from out of a mouthful of broken teeth. A placard around his neck that read, '_I, A Former Cobra, Bit the Hand that Fed Me. The Victims of the Keller Massacre are My Fault.'_

Sergeant Slaughter remained impassive, remembering, though the Cobra slaughter of Dr. Keller's mission. He couldn't blame Commando Depuis for its actions in that case. Not a single individual responsible for that massacre was left alive.

"Dr. Keller's Mission," Mercer continued, "That's when it started for me. When I started to see what I really signed up for. And it was a bloody encounter with the Skeleton Men that almost ended me."

Mercer remembered lying wounded in long grass, leg bleeding like sin smelling the scent of burning grass, gasoline, and flesh while the Skeleton Men advanced firing as they came. He remembered seeing them dispatching wounded Cobras with either single rifle shots or slashes with machetes.

"That's when you saw the light," Sergeant Slaughter replied.

Mercer nodded, "Had Lady Jaye and Roadblock not intervened the Skeleton Men would have killed me too."

"Why did you call them Skeleton Men?" Sergeant Slaughter asked.

"They all wore this circular patch with a skeleton wearing a French Foreign Legion uniform with the words 'Commando Depuis. The Devil's Guard' emblazoned on it," Mercer replied, "Believe me, that's not something you forget."

_Beni might've been a shifty little incompetent, but even he didn't deserve to be hanged from the nearest tree limb..._Mercer thought to himself as they drove along the road. _What was it he used to say, 'The Skeleton Men are hunters without mercy'._

* * *

TBC


	35. Preparations and Complications

Preparations and Complications

Disclaimer: Same as before…

* * *

**From Kate's PDA:**

_A complicated man. As a profiler I can say these three simple words capture my partner in this case. An American who served in the French Foreign Legion. A sensitive soul with a hard edged view of justice. A man both cynical and idealistic in the same breath on romantic love. Conrad's got a lot of healing he needs to do. _

_These last five days have shed some light on Conrad's psyche. Even with these revelations he's changed from a mysterious man to a complicated one in my mind. _

_Two days ago I learned about why he joined the French Foreign Legion and about the 'hot headed indiscretion' he said he paid the price for. Even though that incident happened almost a decade ago I can feel the hurt that still resonates in him. He's a man who loves deeply and without reservation._

_He's the sort of man who will put it all on the line for those he cares for. He's also the sort who doesn't take kindly to any perceived betrayal. While I don't necessarily agree with him beating the daylights out of the man who abused the woman he loved, I can understand why he did it. I also can understand his anger and hurt towards Brook, his ex-girlfriend, for denying the abuse she was enduring at a time he needed her to admit it._

_I can see how a young Conrad would see that as a betrayal and how he felt like he had nothing left. I can understand how such things would drive him to the French Foreign Legion._

_In two days I head to Panama for four days worth of jungle training with Conrad. On his experience with this sort of thing alone I trust him with my life. I would be lying if there weren't things about him that worry me. _

_One thing is that bloody minded sense of justice of his. I read the reports on the things Cobra got up to in Africa. And some of them are horrifying, like human experimentation, forced labor, and murders and rapes of innocent people. I can see how Conrad views killing people responsible for these things outright as justice, but I have to question his 'Exterminate the Brutes' mentality when it comes to these people._

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Toad and Roadblock  
****06 March 2002, 1233**

"Roadblock?" Todd asked as he set out the place settings for their lunch, "So there are former Cobras in G.I. Joe?"

"A few," Roadblock said, "Mercer is one of them."

"Really?" Todd asked, "And G.I. Joe takes them in just like that?"

_Complicated issue. _Roadblock sighed as he thought to himself while getting some cold cuts, bread, and other fillings for sandwiches from the refrigerator, _But Psyche Out did tell me that he's on his way to being an adult and I should talk to him about these things._

"No, not just like that. They get vetted, to ensure they're not running from crimes," Roadblock replied.

"Like the ones Conrad was talking about?" Todd replied as he put ice and water in a pitcher and set that in the middle of the table.

Roadblock nodded, "And if they make it they get closely monitored for a while. Mercer's been here a couple of years."

"Did the French really kill Cobras guilty of war crimes on the spot?" Todd asked.

Roadblock nodded again, "After the 1994 Pyrenees Incident when almost 300 French civilians were victims of human experimentation by Cobra, they instituted a doctrine called _Sans Pitie_."

"What does that mean?" Todd asked.

"Without mercy," Roadblock replied, memories of witnessing that unforgiving campaign in Africa running through his mind.

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Kate Todd and Conrad Hart  
****06 March 2002, 1242**

As she sat at the dining room table Kate glanced over at Conrad as she made the final notes on her PDA. The only other sound in the room was a newscast, the BBC, discussing continued violence in Africa. She saw Conrad's jaw set in a hard line as they both looked over at the screen.

"Tensions remain high in the Central African Republic as Cobra-backed factions continue to fight against French forces. Thousands have been displaced by the fighting and still more have died in the violence…" the BBC newscaster began.

The screen showed a weeping child, squatting by the bodies of his family before it switched to several more bodies lying in the square of a village.

"Of all the brutalizing effects of war, the worst is the numbing of compassion," Conrad remarked with a slight gulp.

"Why do you say that?" Kate asked gently.

_What is it about this woman that makes her so easy to talk to? _Conrad thought before he replied, "Of the worst things I saw was the suffering of children, as I said a long time ago. Very often orphaned or separated from their parents. You had to build a shell around your heart to ignore their suffering."

Kate felt the lump in her throat, "Why do you say that?"

"The alternative was to lose my mind completely," Conrad replied and with a sigh added, "Sometimes I wonder if my sense of compassion is gone."

"I don't believe it is," Kate declared, gently placing her hand on his forearm.

"Why do you say that, _mademoiselle_?" Conrad asked.

"Because I see signs of it every day," Kate replied.

"Such as?" Conrad asked, genuinely curious.

"The biggest sign is how you sympathize so much with what Todd endured," Kate replied.

"Like I said, his plight reminds me of the child soldiers the Cobra aligned faction used against us in increasing numbers," Conrad replied, "But the boy has a chance. Unlike them. When I encountered child soldiers in Africa I killed them."

_The burden Conrad carries is obvious,_ Kate replied. _Especially because I know where to look. He's got a bigger heart than he gives himself credit for. _

"So, _mademoiselle_, I don't just hate Cobra for their atrocities, I hate what I became in sending them to Hell," Conrad replied, and with a sigh added, "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster."

"Nietzsche," Kate nodded in recognition.

"Sometimes I wonder if I've changed so much that my family won't recognize me whenever it is I go home again," Conrad confessed.

"I'm sure they miss you," Kate said.

"I do plan to visit them, for the first time in almost ten years," Conrad replied and with a slightly ironic grin he added, "The prodigal son returns."

Kate smiled wanly, "He was welcome home with open arms."

"I do remember that, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, returning her smile with a small one of his own.

* * *

_Tim,_

_I leave for jungle training in Panama in two days. Preparations are still going on at a pretty good pace and I'll be going through the jungle training with two G.I. Joe team members and Agent Hart, my partner on this case._

_He's a former member of the French Foreign Legion who has extensive experience in jungle warfare. I'm definitely going to pick his brain about all of this._

_I miss you. I hope this assignment wraps up soon so we can enjoy our Delayed Valentine's Day._

_I love you,_

_Kate_

* * *

_Kate,_

_Good luck out there in Panama. Watch your back with an ex-Legionnaire, after all the French Foreign Legion has a reputation for taking in all sorts of riff raff. Case in point a good number of former Nazis were in their ranks after World War II. _

_Also, regarding Conrad Hart, I've heard some things about him back at San Diego State University. Namely that he was kicked out of their NROTC unit for hitting an officer._

_Anyway, I miss you too. And I love you. Oh I think you'll love our Delayed Valentine's Day._

_Tim_

* * *

**The Pit, Medical Center  
****Psyche Out and Mercer  
****06 March 2002, 1317**

"I understand you had an encounter with a familiar face from the past," Psyche Out began.

"You could say that," Mercer said.

"Brought back memories?" Psyche Out asked calmly as he jotted some notes down on the legal pad on his desk.

"Yeah," Mercer replied, "Namely that they hanged a friend of mine."

Psyche Out clicked his pen and asked, "What happened?"

"Beni Gabor was the runt of the litter," Mercer replied, "He grew up in an orphanage outside of Budapest in Hungary. He joined Cobra after drifting around Eastern Europe. That's pretty much all I know about his background."

"You said he was the runt of the litter, what was that about?" Psyche Out asked, making notes as Mercer spoke.

"The guys in my old platoon treated him like a pariah. Sure he was a little shifty, not the bravest, but he was loyal."

"You befriended him," Psyche Out concluded.

"I guess it's because I kinda felt sorry for him. I could relate to his situation too," Mercer replied.

"Empathy is a good thing," Psyche Out encouraged.

"Beni was on a patrol that got ambushed by _Commando Depuis_, a force of local militia trained by advisors from the French Foreign Legion," Mercer replied calmly, "He was wounded but managed to escape to a medical mission run by Dr. Julia Keller."

"They treated his wounds and let him stay there," Mercer continued after a brief silence, "But he kept us informed of what was going on over there. Namely that Dr. Keller was giving _Commando Depuis_ information about our movements."

"I read the report about the destruction of Dr. Keller's mission," Psyche Out asked, "So what role did Beni play in that?"

"He told one of the militias we supported about Dr. Keller's intelligence support to _Commando Depuis_," Mercer replied, "The militia leveled the place. The Skeleton Men responded in kind. The militia had a few folks and Beni left behind to complete the destruction. They overran the militia pretty quickly and Beni was executed for his betrayal."

Mercer paused for a few minutes as he blinked, remembering that moment, "He was incompetent, sure. The runt of our group. But he didn't deserve to swing by his neck after having the crap kicked out of him."

* * *

**The Pit, Officer's Quarters  
****Conrad Hart and Caitlin Todd  
****06 March 2002, 1422**

"There," Kate said as she set the heavy duffel bag on the living room floor, noticing Conrad's considerably less laden duffel beside hers.

"Are you sure you didn't forget anything, _mademoiselle_?" Conrad asked, with a light smirk.

"Don't they say luck favors the prepared?" Kate replied.

"Yes, but travelling light is essential in the jungle," Conrad countered, "The heat and humidity can sap your strength. A heavy pack will do so even more."

"Okay, maybe you can help me pack?" Kate asked. _The man does know what he's talking about. _

"Of course, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied as Kate hefted her duffel bag and carried it into her bedroom.

Kate opened the bag and set its contents on the bed. Conrad followed her in and immediately commented, "You only need two sets of clothes for the jungle. One you wear on operations and another you reserve strictly for sleep."

"Why is that?" Kate asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

"The clothes you wear on operations is your 'wet kit'," Conrad replied, "The one you wear to sleep is your 'dry kit'. You want to be comfortable when you sleep and being wet and miserable is counter to that."

"Okay, how do I keep that stuff dry?" Kate asked.

Conrad held up a big plastic bag, "Keep it bagged up inside here."

Kate took the bag, packing up one set of clothing, "What about change of socks?"

"Two to four pairs is about right," Conrad replied, "Again keep those as dry as you can."

"Now I see why your bag is so light," Kate replied.

"Between that and one set of civilian clothes for the flight I'm all set," Conrad replied.

"Thanks for the tips," Kate replied, with a slight smile.

"My pleasure, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, turning to leave the room.

"Hey Conrad," Kate called after him.

The former Legionnaire stopped in his tracks, turning his head, "Yes?"

"Is there any truth about former Nazis in the French Foreign Legion?" Kate asked.

"That's a bit of a long story, _mademoiselle_," Conrad replied, turning to face her, "But suffice to say Germans made up a large number of recruits to the Legion after both World Wars."

"Okay, what about after World War II?"

"An old hand from the 1950s I met in my travels after the Legion said that there was a large German contingent whose collective memory stretched back only to 1945," Conrad replied, "But to answer _mademoiselle's _question, yes there were doubtlessly former members of the _Wehrmacht _and _Waffen-SS_ among the Legion's numbers. In Indochina and Algeria their combat experience proved its worth."

Kate's eyes narrowed in recognition, "Did they influence the Legion in modern times?"

"In some ways, yes," Conrad replied, "For instance how we conduct a running gun battle, fast, hard hitting, and with the unit commander leading from the front. Right out of the _Waffen-SS_ playbook. That and our emphasis on maximum firepower. Why so curious, _mademoiselle_?"

Kate sighed, "Tim told me I should watch my back around you. Especially because of your time with the Legion. He specifically said that fact about former Nazis in the ranks."

"French intelligence ferreted out and appropriately sentenced known war criminals," Conrad replied, "Even in the early days of the Indochina war. You can tell him that."

"He also mentioned that incident at SDSU," Kate replied.

"As I've said, _mademoiselle_, Lieutenant Bailey got exactly what he deserved for what he did to Brook," Conrad coldly replied.

"You've got quite a brutal sense of justice," Kate observed, "Yet you have a gentlemanly way, like some kind of modern knight."

"Behold the knight, in solemn black manner. With a skull on his crest and blood on his banner," Conrad replied, "It's a 15th Century German poem by Garnier von Sustren."

"And I think it's one that suits you," Kate replied. _It does fit him. Not exactly a knight in shining armor, but not a totally dark one either._

"I'll take that as a compliment, _mademoiselle,_" Conrad replied before heading to the living room to let Kate finish repacking.

* * *

**The Pit, Ninja Dojo  
****Todd Tolansky and Stormshadow  
****06 March 2002, 1506**

Todd jumped into the air as the arrow flew towards him, hurling a shuriken along the arrow's back trajectory. He watched with satisfaction as the projectile embedded itself in the wooden silhouette of a human.

"Very good," Stormshadow said.

"Thank you, _sensei_," Todd replied while still in the air. When he landed he removed the black ninja mask from his face.

"Is there something on your mind?" Stormshadow replied.

"What is the difference between killing in battle and murder?" Todd asked.

"In battle you kill to defend your life and those of your teammates and innocent people. Murder is killing without discrimination. What prompted this?" Stormshadow asked.

"Agent Hart was talking about his time in the French Foreign Legion when they hanged a Cobra prisoner responsible for a massacre," Todd replied.

"One could call what Conrad and his team did murder. But also one could call it justice, given that man was responsible for a massacre," Stormshadow replied, "Taking life is a matter that should not be taken lightly."

"Agent Hart felt, ethically, he was cleansing evil from the world," Stormshadow replied, "He, alone, is the one to bear the burden of what he has done."

"How will I know if I kill for the right reason?" Todd asked.

"You will know your actions are right," Stormshadow replied, "But even if you kill for the right reason, it will be an experience that will forever change you. Meditate today, Toad. Nothing more will I teach you today."

"Yes _sensei_," Todd said with a bow.

* * *

TBC


End file.
